A strange day indeed. I walked into a garage and bought a car. Just like that. It was too easy. I felt that something was missing, that for such a purchase there should be more barriers to get over, some more actions required than simply one signature and the handing over of my debit card.
Most importantly, it's silver. There's unusual for you.
I shall be collecting it next Wednesday.
I told the salesman that it must be the easiest sale he's ever done:
- I knew exactly what I wanted.
- They had one model that fitted all my criteria.
- I bought it.
He gave me some discount and a free boot cover. I magnanimously conceded from haggling even further.
Soon to be relieved from the Bavarian Moosehood Wrecker and time to start a new competition for a suitable acronym for the new beast. With apologies to MfR because it's not one of his, any ideas are welcome.
Starters for ten...
Freedom Or Rally Driving.
Fried Or Roast Duck.
Faggots Off Ridiculous Drivers.
First prize is a lonely meal for one at Hatfield Galleria...and half an hour's rummaging in TK Maxx.
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April
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- The first day of the rest of my life...
- LAST DAY!!!!!!!!
- Penultimate day
- Logistics, logistics, logistics
- Rubbish, limping, fat, soon to be unemployed
- OAMC at the Galleria
- New car
- A challenging day ahead...
- Help - my brain isn't big enough!
- Golden rules are made to be broken
- Yesterday Alice bands...today gastric bands
- Supercharged...SuperMoose!
- It's her, it's her. I'm sure it is.
- Digging big holes
- The best things in life...are the simple things
- About time...
- Let's make up the rules as we go along...
- Easter
- ...long live the Moose?
- Just popping in...
- From under a pile of snow...
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85 comments:
Moose
By jove, I think I've got it! The 'suitable acronym' I mean...........
I'm awesome at meals for one....and.......Hatfield Galleria is one of those places on my 'must do' lists....no, seriously.
When do we hear who has won....or rather, when do we hear when we have won
Gaby
xx
0ops typo.....should have read....when do we hear when ONE has won.....
Forward or Reverse, Darling?
Sorry Gaby - you have competition (and just wait till Hazel wakes up - she's a demon for this sort of thing!).
Finally Off Ruinous Driving-seat.
Flip Off, Racing Deer
Found Outside Recently Deceased
Friendly Orangutan Rides Donkeys
Forty Outraged Residents Detained
Forces Out Radical Dissenters
Flatulent Off Road Drivers
Fawning Outrages Roe Deer
...and I expect there will be some more...
later
love
hazel
x
WAKEY WAKEY RISE AND SHINE YOU 'ORRIBLE LITTLE MEN-AH!
Mornin' all!
Mornin' analog and Gaby. Lovely day! I'd hate to let you down...
Yawn, stretch etc
love
hazel
x
Lets see now. We can have some definitions. Yes. I have work to do, but it's gonna have to wait. I have already been at it solidly (oh yes...ahem) since 0800.
Don't even think about trying to overtake mate = Flip Off, Racing Deer
Taking roadkill home = Found Outside Recently Deceased
National Enquirer headline = Friendly Orangutan Rides Donkeys
Blackpool B&B riots = Forty Outraged Residents Detained
Iraq, Iran, the Labour party = Forces Out Radical Dissenters
Four X Phwaaaaawh = Flatulent Off Road Drivers
No sucking up to the Monarch of the Glen please = Fawning Outrages Roe Deer
...and I'm back in the rune...
Morning you lovely bunch!
What a great day again! Have opted to work from home today, as I have to go to Cheshire tomorrow and that means - dun dun duuuuuuh, yes, the dreaded M6 on a Friday afternoon!
Good on you Moose for being so focussed (is it?) when making your new purchase. Silver - nice, what colour was your Big Matt's Wheels (the name we gave my brother in law's...)?
Do you feel as though you have missed out on something? Left feeling a little empty by the experience? I would and did when I bought my last car. I wnated trumpets, banners and a bouquet, but didn't get any! How odd!!!
Right, better settle down - been to the Docs this morning, had to sit in the waiting room with all the ill people for 10 minutes! I usually time my arrival with my appointment time so I'm not 'exposed'... Have yet another prescription, so will walk into town later on, to sort that out.
Will dip in later,
S xx.
Fondle Our(Reading)Royal's Defender
Gaby
Moose, car buying - changed days indeed. We bought our first car in 1977 - it was a decendant of your new car. (I can't come up with anything clever!). We went to the bank for a loan which took an hour with the bank manager and we had to provide two character references, payslips and our Building Society book to prove we had money of some description! Her name was Bertha and I remember her fondly.
EG - thanks for your kind words. I am feeling slightly better today I'm pleased to say.
MfR - Don't know what I would do if the powers that be at work zapped me from getting on here during the day! But it will be good to hear what you have to say when I get into work every morning.
OAMC - how many of you will make it? I really hope you get together, because I'm dying to hear all about it!!
C xx
Morning ladies....wot, no boys yet?
Gaby
Moose -
F*** off, Rubbish drive - (hence why I got rid of mine at the earliest opportunity), wouldn't have another if you paid me
By the way - never go back there for service etc - people that work at my local dealership seem to have to have their finger inserted in their a-hole to operate their mouths. And then there's the waiting around for them to find your car, realise that it's in the same place you left it this morning, that they've done nothing to it and then they have the nerve and cheek to come and tell you that they haven't been able to get the part, could you leave it till tomorrow, and no we don't have a courtesy car unless you come in next month on the 27th between 8:00am and 8:01.
Yes Buying it is easy but keeping it on the road may not be!
me Bitter - Not at all, I love my Renault!
:o) Jo
Jo - thanks. Wish you'd told me yesterday! Unfortunately for my purposes they win the best marks from What Car? magazine for the MPV class of 7-seater.
So no Sammie I'm not Focus-sed. Much more chocolate based than that. Remember this is our family car so I need space for the Mooselets, luggage, bikes and most of all me and my antlers. Giving A Lecture About Xenophobic Yobs. (Second prize - two lonely meals and a full hour in TK Maxx!) My ball-crusher is black but my previous car was silver too.
I would have been very worried indeed if the salesman had given me flowers or shown me his trumpet.
Sammie - I might need a Gantt chart for the logistics on pick-up day through to handing back my current car, with who will be in each car on each leg, where the cars sit on 2 overnights and how I avoid any use of public transport (too full of pikeys with bags full of TK Maxx shopping!)
Gaby - if no other boys around, will I do?
Moose,
You've come to the right gal!!! Let me have your requirements/detailed designs and I'll plan from there...
S xx.
Moose - I was focussed and in diesel too and it kept stalling and misfiring and scarily cutting out whilst driving but a-holes at dealers plugged it into their computer and responded with 'computer says no' รก la Little Britain...
I'm sure yours will be fandabidozy!
:o) Jo
You know spring has finally sprung when the first diggers of the year starts to sing outside your window. Don't you just love 'em? He's now changed his bucket for a bigger one so he can move more concrete chunks in one go. Bl**dy marvellous.
Oh, I missed that your new transportation device is SILVER...oh dearie me...does it have a 'Full Panoramic Windscreen' to allow for easy crashing while looking at the aeroplane daddy...?
Boy Scout instructions for Grippler Hook Triple Hitch = Fold Over Rope Diagonally
The Hushed Tones Society = Friends Of Richard Dimbleby
You bain't from round these parts = Foreign Or Regional Dialect
More money than sense = Favourite Ostrich Ruins Diet
Comfy pants = Freedom Of Rear Danglers
Dalek threat = Fight Or Run Doctor
Dull classical music = Faure's Original Requiem Dirge
Tesco On-line Drivers Strike - Food Ordered Rotting Down
ChrissieS - message from the Pedantry - was Bertha the car or the bank manager?
Isn't it hard trying to concentrate sometimes...so glad I can multi-task, but I don't feel this is my best work to date.
Jo - Little Britain references slightly disturbing. The dealership is in the very town that I have heard was something of an "inspiration" for many of the characters - especially those of a fat/stupid/tendency to have children before the age of 14 persuasion. Either that or if you walk through the Shopping Centre you keep thinking to yourself "Isn't that x from Little Britain?" - the largest concentration of Lou's, Andy's and Vicki Pollards in the world.
And I also found myself saying "I want that one" to the salesman.
I am the only Moose in the village.
A small pome for Hazel
A witty young lady, Ms Love
Who hailed from Brighton & Hove
In just a few words
(whilst watching the birds)
Described the new car that Moose drove
Before the pedants chip in, I know it doesn't really rhyme and the grammar's cr*p, but it was a first attempt and my brain's fried from the digger racket coming in the window. He's gone for lunch now - hopefully never to return.
Analog (still with one 'n' and no t shirt)
A Thursday Pome
Could the world stop spinning
As I'm feeling rather sick
Unless someone has a bucket
And can get it to me quick
I shoun't have had that sausage roll
Not three weeks out of date
But I was REALLY hungry
And it fitted on my plate
It looked all yummy munchy
It made me start to drool
The pastry sweet and crunchy
The sausage, like at school
But in just a half an hour
I've come over very queer
And all my nasty boss says
Is there's no room for that in here
So I've been and got a tater
Filled with beans and cheese and slaw
And I think that when I've eaten it
I won't want any more
I've garnished it with branston
As I've been left all alone
It doesn't matter what I eat
As long as it remains unthrown
Please can the world stop spinning
I've really had enough
I'm all alone in Honah Lee
And other fancy stuff
FIN
That would be Sharks Fin zuppa di dio...
DISCLAIMER: My boss is not nasty but lovely.
analog, that's what Australians play tennis with...
Thank you so much for my pome! I didn't see it till I pressed for mine(?)...Thank you! xx
This town ain't big enuff for the both of Moose...da da da da...and Moose, dahling Moose, I do believe you are a bit of a snob...good. I hope, as well, that you are putting bull bars on the front of your new (bit o' cockernee riming slang...) Chocolate Bar!
Hoorah.
help me...someone...
The OAMC = Forever On Re Dial
Alternative National Hunt = Foxes Organise Race Day
Plumbing emergency = Flush Out Rancid Drain
Carminafrillophobia = Fear Of Red Dresses
The Scottish OAMC (fairly late on in the evening) = Fach Off Rachey Drogghat(!) (Ye fachin fachhhhh)
Ana, with one enn and no tee shirt and Anna with two enns and a mancub...
4 Eeuw xx
There once was a lady called ana / anna
Who couldn't fix things with a spanna
When faced with a nut
She was heard to 'tut tut'
And swear in an unpleasing manna
Oh Moose...BLACK is (apparently) the new 'silver' when one is considering the purchase of a new automotive vehicle.
Is it too late to change your mind?
Oh, what to do, what to do???
Also, on a similar note, tattoo healing is the new swimming...MfR, just how trendy are you?!
I thought it was digger Barnes
help is at hand
Moose - whether there are other boys around or not - of course you will most definitely do : )
I am struggling to contribute to such witty and humerous offerings like those contributions above... ("don't be deluded as to thinking it is just today that you are struggling!!"' I hear you all cry)
My wish came true - the digger man hasn't come back after lunch. P'rhaps someone fed him a dodgy sandwich. Whatever ... it's a lot more peaceful this afternoon. Just wish I was at home in my garden instead of here at work.
Chocolate Bar.
Chocolate Moose.
Chocolate Mousse.
Chocolate Muffin.
Aaaarggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Used not new - just new to me. Therefore no choice. Take what they've got. Silver it is.
Sorry I am late, better late than never ;-)
Moose new (to you) car!
A few weeks ago I test drove a new Mercedes (very nice and other makes of cars are available) any way I was going to change my car. This has not happened simply because we went into the VW showroom and Mrs B fell in love with a Touran-nosaurus (I am not saying she is a dinosaur, you understand!) and I being the great big softie I am I bought it for her, in silver (other colours are available). I still have my old car so I maybe will have another look in a few weeks to see what is on offer.
I may be late but the benefit to being so is that I get to read all of our posts.. very entertaining ;-))
Keith the BigUn
xx
I'm so behind... Hazel /Ana etc I can not add any acra(thingymebobs) except
Fech Off Randy Driver
which I am sure has already been said..however, that is my pass to the naughtycorner..Yeh!
yeh bu' No bu'yeh but cazzeronlywentbehind thebikesheds for1 fag, butshegotoneupthe ar@e andgottastainonherTKMaxxleggings
Vicki is from Brissle, like, so No Hatfield Galleria for her!
Love
Caroline
P.S Flakes are the new Galaxy
P.P.S Silver is the new puce
Keith!
My old silver one was the same make of dinosaur. In silver. You didn't buy my old one did you? I loved it, but it's not quite big enough for our purposes, hence the "step up" to the Galaxy.
Caroline! I didn't know you were that kind of girl!
Caroline - You sound just like my daughter!!! (When Vicki/Lauren head takes over - AM I BOVVERED THOUGH?????)
Highly amusing guys - wish I had Hazel's quick wit, however, the grey matter is a little sluggish today.
My friend is taking me out for a spin in his lovely little convertible Bad Moose's Wagon later, so that will help clear the fug!!
Ana - maybe he had one of Hazel's dodgy sausage rolls?
S xx.
Well, obviously not Moose's, but you know what I mean!
S xx.
Chocolate Frog
Chocolate Fireguard
Chocolate Banana
Chocolate Matches
While we're at it, whatever happened to Matchmakers?
...and Cazzer, I thought puce was the new taupe?
Small row at Ferrari - Furore Over Racing Drivers
When they here they aren't through to the FA Cup final = Fans Over React Dramatically
Ze Bastille looked bad, huh = French Opticians Reflect Darkly
Lord of the Rings new car = Fodo Odo Rodo Dodo
Nicholas Cage disguised as a Moose = Face Off Red Deer
Sammie - obviously, but it does give me a good idea. Where can I get a chainsaw? Maybe the local fire brigade will take the roof off it for me.
Reminds me of a Calvin & Hobbes:
Calvin: Mum, where do we keep the chainsaws?
Mum: We don't have any chainsaws.
Calvin: How am I ever gonna learn how to juggle?
Moose, you got BP'd!
I'm off to the Galleria now.
Table for one!
Why is it that when you want to slope off early, there's a flurry of activity? Not ONE call between 1pm and 4pm and now my phone won't stop ringing!!!
Moose - just make sure you wear protective eye thingies - note, cider visors and beer goggles do NOT count!
S xx.
P.S. Wearing jeans tonight, in case I'm papped gettng out of said little car - wouldn't want to have a Jody Marsh type pic on the front page of the red tops tomorrow...
moose,
Please do not tell me it was a 54 plate 2.0 TDi, dinosaur with one careful owner! I have to say My Lady loves it and that is what matters ;-)
Keith the BiguUn
Xx
A little Used car joke…
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As
he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies
sitting in a used car.
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were
they trying to steal it?
"Heavens no!" they exclaimed, "we bought it."
"Then why don't you drive it away?" the officer asked.
"We can't drive," they replied.
"Then why in the world did you buy it?"
"Well," they answered, "we were told that if we bought a used car here,
we'd get screwed. We're just waiting."
Enjoy your OAMCs all those of you who are attempting it. It's not snowing today so there's no excuse!
Hi Everyone xx
You all sound in fine fettle!
I can't keep up, you are far too witty and intellegent for me to contribute :o(
Feeling a little bit withdrawn lately, have a scarey hospital appointment tomorrow afternoon!
Keith - Lots of love, {{{hugs}}} and feel better wishes coming your way xxxxxx
Susan S has asked me to pass on a to say she has lots going on at the moment hence no blogging. She asked me to tell everyone she is missing you all loads and thinks about all of you everyday :o) She is sending loadsa huggles to all of you xxxxxx
Take care
lots of love
Mary xx
thanks Hazel for the joint pome. I feel quite moved!
I have just written and deleted about 17 suggestions for the suitable acronym. cant do it. smack me on the bottom with a womans weekly.
am toasting - heres to the OAMC. blimey i wish I was there.
xx
mwk - chin up honey, we're here for you!
S xx.
mwk - (hugs)
xx
Thanks Sammie xx
How are things with you? Are you ok?
Mary xx
Mary xxxxxxxxxxxxxxhugsxxxxxxxxxx
love and sunshine
Gaby
xx
Evening all
Moose. Sorry I didn't reply, but you were right, it was 'can't make at all'.
Meeting an old mate at The M next Thursday if anyone dares to come along. The first person to challenge me by saying 'MfR, I presume' wins a very special prize.
Had a pleasant, relatively trouble-free day today. All being well, tomorrow should be more of the same.
Off shopping in a certain Knightsbridge corner shop followed by watching the former Mrs CLP in Treats on Saturday. Mostly because I can't bear the thought of being anywhere near Craven Cottage or within earshot of an electrical device that will let me know what is going on.
I've got a bad feeling about this.
Any road. A quick bath and an early night.
I really miss being here during the day.
Gits.
Love to all
MfR.
Thanks Anna and Gaby xx
MfR - have a great day in London with Mrs MfR xx Very envious of you visiting that corner shop :o)
Look forward to hearing your review of Ms Piper.
Mary xx
Mary et al...
Just to keep you informed...
K and I have agreed to keep things going, albeit on a reduced scale. He's off to the States again this weekend and I won't see him before then. The good news is that he's only going for 2 weeks and not the anticipated 5.
In the meantime, I will make sure that I don't pine away and will have FUN. In fact, I had arranged a night out tonight, which was scuppered by AWOL daughter, however, it has been replanned for Sunday...
Btw Mary, I'm sure that tomorrow's appointment will be less scary than you think. Will be thinking of you.
S xx.
Evening All
I'm just home from work. been at a lecture type thing in Glasgow - connected with work - which had a drinks reception afterwords. Felt really fired-up. I'm sure I have more to offer this world or at least this country than I'm given the opportunity to do. You'll realise from this that I took full advantage of what was on offer at the drinks recption. Also bought small (very small) bottle of wine on train back to Edinburgh - £4.75 - but had so much already I didn't care. Trolley guy gave me a polystirene (spelling?) cup - said to him "Do I not look like a sophisticated woman? Do you think I drink wine from a polystire cup? Had to quickly say I was joking.
Anyway spent some time with one of team planning joint Plan A - having yesterday spent some time doing some work myself on Plan A. I'm sure in the morning it will all sound mad - but at the moment, it all sounds possible.
Thanks goodness I'm on a day off tomorrow. Sorry haven't caught up with other posts - seeing double!!!!
Sweet dreams all.
Luv.
EG
Gaby - Diggar Barnes - my, my - didn't put you down for that.
chrissie - Glad today has been better.
MWK - have missed you. Seems a while.
All - how can black be the new anything - or anything be the new black. Black is black - oo oo oo , I want my baby back - WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
EG
Mary,
good luck for today a {{hug}} from the BigUn xx
Mary - hope your hospital appointment isn't as scary as you think, have some love from me to see you through the day :o) Jo
good luck mary....xx
Today I am mostly wearing Black and White. None of the itemmes are new. Well, the underpinning isn' terribly old, but I expect it will quickly become the new grey.
An early Friday Pome
...entitled 'Sugar Kane'
There was a young lady called Mary
Whose clothes were particularly lary
When asked 'Why the pink?'
She said 'Why do you think?'
I'd rather be dressed like a fairy!
Hope it all goes well for you baby! xx
La belle epoque
love
hazel
x
Mary
Thinking of you and sending you love and sunshine xxxxx
Morning all,
I have been undergoing various medical tests recently (again not for the first time I hear you cry) yesterday morning I had a full set of bloods taken. At 11pm last night I get a call to inform me my Potassium level is dangerously high and I am to go directly to A&E (Do not collect £200). I was in there until 1:30am only to be released with a clean (as can be expected) bill of health.
At least I am not at the doctors until 10:15 this morning. That makes a full set of Doctors appointments this week. I am hoping to not see a doctor over the weekend ;-)) although I would not say no to a young lady in a nurse uniform ;-)) as long as Mrs B does not find out!!
Keith the BigUn
Xx
P.S I though I would post on olden but golden joke with a doctor theme..
A lady in her late forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift.
The doctor told her of a new procedure called "The Knob." This small knob is planted into the back of your head and can be turned to tighten up the skin. This produces the effect of a brand new face lift forever. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."
Fifteen years later the woman went back to the surgeon with two problems.....
"All these years everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn "The Knob" on lots of occasions and I've loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems. First of all, I've got these terrible bags under my eyes and "The Knob" won't get rid of them."
The surgeon examined her for a few moments and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts, madam."
She replied, "Well I guess that explains the goatee!"
Keith that is truly dreadful for this time of day - but it has made me chuckle!
Fingers crossed for you and for Mary and for anyone else out there with scary appointments today.
Jollygit - where are you? any news on the job front? I got a "regret you have not been selected" letter this morning but it was more of a relief than a disappointment, having decided that it wasn't for me.
Sammie - you sound much more chirpy. Glad you've got things sorted out.
Toodle pip for now
What a fab joke Keith - have not heard that one before. Sorry to hear your health is taking such a bashing and hope you are soon back to full strength.
MWK - Thoughts and prayers are with you and hope everything goes OK for you today.
In order that I may join Keith at NC1 I have added my own naughty joke!:
Transcribed from a call to NHS 24
Nurse - "Hello, how can I help you?"
Man - "I've got an orange willy!"
Nurse - "What?"
Man - "My willy - it's turned orange."
Nurse - "Umm... I'll have to look that up. Ah, it seems it could be a sign of stress; do you suffer from stress?"
Man - "Not really"
Nurse - "What about stress at work?"
Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, i worked 80 hours a week for pennies and then I got the sack"
Nurse - "That sounds very stressful."
Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great, half the hours, 3 times the salary and I feel really appreciated"
Nurse - "Hmm, what about your home life?"
Man - "Well, my girlfriend was a complete cow, she nagged non-stop and put me down every chance she got."
Nurse - "That sounds stressful"
Man - "Yeah, but I left her and I've never been happier."
Nurse - "I see, what about your social life?"
Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."
Nurse - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"
Man - "Watch porn and eat Wotsits."
Cheers to Friday - the weekend is just hours away!
A x
Well, Keith...all I can say is, that you shouldn't have had the banana before you had your bloods (How many have you got? I only have one I think, but I can't be (o)positive...oooh ouch...(that should get you back nicely for the olden golden...)) done. Or any other foodstuff alarmingly high in potassium and parsnips
K?
Just because I just have
love
hazel
x
ps who or wot is Digger Barnes? Is Dallas anything to do with it?
oh oh oh oh I've got a joke too!
Bloke (possibly Keith) goes to the doctors and says 'Doctor, doctor, every time I say the number eight in French, I get a rash come up all over my body!'
Doc says 'That would be a huit allergy.'
Badum tshhhhhh.
Thank you for your time.
Sammie - all that sounds like a good idea. Glad you're getting your head sorted...I have to say that sometimes I count myself fortunate that I don't have children to consider as well as myself. In the words of the Eagles, take it easy!
In the words of the field mouse, ooh it's all gone dar......
Hi, great to catch up with everything from last night.
Mary - try not to worry about this afternoon. We'll be thinking of you and I hope that helps a wee bit. So good to hear from you and thanks for the message from Susan.
Keith - you really are in the wars. Thinking of you too and glad to see the sense of humour is still brilliant. Fabulous joke yesterday and today's is just a scream!
EG - enjoy your day off. How's your wee head this morning?! Glad to hear you have a Plan - go for it!
Sammie - thanks for the update. Sounds as though you are breathing normally again! Have a great night out on Sunday.
MfR - have a great time in London. I'm so envious - I just love London!
Will check in again later - hope Moose is back from the Galleria!
C xx
Keith/Amanda - naughty but very, very funny!!! I hope you both have good news and good health very, very soon. Big hugs {{{{{hugs}}}} to you both and Mary, I'm really hoping that your appointment isn't scary at all xxxx
Analog - thanks for asking. I was assured by both of the jobs that I was interviewed for that I'd hear by the end of today .... our post is always late and the phone is ominously quiet, so no news at all ..... but it's driving me mad.
Sorry you didn't get your job - I know it wasn't what you wanted but it's still not nice being rejected, is it?!!! I mean, who do they think they are!!
'Im indoors has gawn out for a couple of hours, so I'm free to blog, email and ... there was something else I had to do, now what was it .... oh yes, look for a job. Tsk, best get on with it then.
Catch you later, jollygit xx
PS Susan S xx
Ok, a little late but this was me last week:
Found Our Rabbit Dead
Finger Ouchy, Really Dumb
Fined Over Recent Debt
Flowers Out, Rainbow Display
and
Finally Over Rotten Dirtbag.
Got the T-Shirt, but not an analog one x
Dear all
Thanks for your kind words of support xx Will let you know how I get on.
Keith - {{{{{{BIGHUG}}}}}} to you too xxxxxx
Mary xx
Good morning Mariella x
Dag Nammit!
I was going incognito! Reasons to be explained leter....
Or later, that finger still messes up me typing
Ouch blimmin ouch ouch.
You know when you do something really stupid, and you have no idea how it happened...I was leaning against the banister outside, enjoying a bit of sun, then, from whence it was balanced on the point of my shoe, my foot slipped backwards off the step, and I have taken some skin off my second toe. On closer inspection, a fair old lump as it happens. Now it is bleeding. I am only wearing wee flattie slip-on sandally things, so am not afforded much protection, footwear wise, but then I'm not on a building site.
It blimmin hurts. Is smoking bad for you after all?
I find it's the gin that messes up my typing. Easier not to type really.
Hazel (am assuming it's you!)- I'm afraid being as you're at work you'll only be allowed a blue plastic plaster, that will fall off after 2 minutes...my advice is to improvise using kitchen paper and sellotape.
:o) Jo
PS think this is irrefutable proof that both smoking and sunbathing (or attempting to) are bad for you.
PPS - UNISON Lady just popped into our office - I ended up telling her all about work situation(I only wanted to ask her one thing)and then was crying for about 1/2 hour (most unlike me)- not a good look I can assure you, still I'm now back to my glamour puss self
PPPS Just been and looked - make it bagpuss!
I think Mariella tried the sellotape trick (don't know about the kitchen paper) on her finger and look where that got her. Still, I suppose you don't type with your toes do you? or do you?
I'm almost on a building site but wearing very pointy shoes with decorative buckles and kitten heels. I think Mr Barnes has taken his digger and gone - its very quiet out there today. Just an empty skip sitting there looking sorry for itself. Maybe it stubbed its toe when they left it there ...
Must now finish the filing before boss returns and sees no change in the size of the filing tray yet again!
ah Jo, sweet Jo...I'm sure you can find something suitable to send me...for yes indeed it is me.
Have akshully discovered that we have illegal plasters which were smuggled in with some refugees strapped to the bottom of the first aid box. Am currently mopping ineffectually at wound with damp loo roll prior to encasement. I can hear my mum though...'Let some air get to it...'
I've said before, better art than inne. That is what union staff are for. You pay enuff subs, and then they call you out on strike because the catering dept have stopped putting the lettuce in BLT sandwiches (now known as bacon and tomato sandwiches) so it's about time you utilised your rights as a member and got stuff sorted. I hope she is able to help you. In the meantime, haemorrhoid cream should help you with the swelling.
love
auntie
hazel
x
ps We regret Ms Love cannot enter into private correspondance.
pps are we doing anything for mayday? I got offered a pole for a very reasonable rate, but I told the bloke it was St George's Day first and he'd have to hold on for a bit longer.
Hazel -
it was free advice - am not union member so even better! As for the plasters - I hope you have reported them to customs and are detaining them suitably until they can be removed. Alternatively you could always let them go and do spud picking for a living.
Mariella, if you abstained from using the kitchen paper therein lies your folly.... Kitchen paper is so useful and although the name suggests you should only use it in the kitchen I have been know to use it all over the house for a multitude of purposes...It's good for mopping up wee (not mine, the puppy's)
:o) Jo
PS Have spent 5 minutes looking at puppies vs puppy's to make sure I don't get a visit from pedants'r' us
Morning (just) All
Mary & Keith - sending love and thinking about both of you and your appointments for today.
Analog - sorry, you got the dreaded letter. It's funny how sometimes it can be a relief.
Jollygit - keeping my fingers crossed that the late post brings good news.
Chrissie S - no hangover but very tired. Having a quiet day today - maybe a wee bit more thinking about Plan A.
Moose - after me writing so righteously earlier in the week about giving up coffee and now drinking peppermint tea - I'm afraid that my morning after the night before feeling has driven me to the jar of caffiene - just about to take first sip - Ahhhhhh - now that's good!
Love to all.
EG
Hazel -oooooh, you are awful .....
EG
Jo - I'm not from pedants'r'us - but just in case you are worrying I would like to confirm that puppy's is in fact - correct. Well done.
EG
MESSAGE FROM PEDANTRY H.Q.
Thank you for your vigilance. Your use of the word 'puppy's' was entirely correct. The wee does indeed belong to the puppy. Although as you are pregnant, please take care not to laugh too hard, otherwise it could easily be yours.
There is no escape.
Jollygit - sorry you are still waiting to hear about the job. No doubt you are keeping busy this morning: re-arranging the towel cupboard, bringing your correspondence up to date and have already prepared tonight's meal! Or alternatively, have you been watching This Morning?! Hope you hear soon.
Analog - this job was obviously not for you, so that leaves you free to find the right one!
Hazel - poor you - and that is going to hurt like hell. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news!
Jo - it's always good to have a wee cry now and again! Your hormones are, of course, all over the place. I bet you feel a wee bit better now!
Dare I ask - did anyone meet up with Moose last night?!
C xx
Chrissy - the more pertinent question should be 'Did moose get out of the Galleria Alive?'
:o) Jo
Chrissie S and EG - alas, the postman did indeed bring news of the job I went for last week and the letter was the "unfortunately on this occasion ...." type so it's back to finemeajobsoon.com! I'm sure the postman will soon recover from his bloody nose but is now sporting a Winnie-the-Pooh plaster (other Disney characters are available) over his hooter .... well, I had to take it out on someone and he was nearest! Mind you, I feel so much better now ...
The cupboards have all been tidied, the washing is up to date, the house is hoovered and dusted, the rubbish has gorn out for the dustmen and the ironing's done (not all of the above was done today, I hasten to add). All I've got left to do is sort out my paperwork which is overflowing in the spare room and clear out the loft ........ oh help me pleeeeeeease!!!!!!!
Hazel honey - your tootsie must be very sore indeed - guess the boogying will be kept to a minimum this weekend? Get well soon my lovely xx
Jo - glad you explained whose wee is whose ....
jollygit xx
Afternoon all,
Thanks for all of the hugs n stuff ;-)
It is surprising really as although I am going through a ruff patch I actually feel very good in myself. As I always say what have I got to worry about, there is always someone worse off than myself. ;-(
Thanks for the thought though they really do help you know! ;-)
Keith
xx
And for a laugh you can always rely on one of my old favourites the late great Tommy Cooper…
Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
Jollygit - sorry to hear that. We lot don't seem to be doing so well on the jobs front at the moment. Barring the initial disappointment, I do think it's good to know the outcome so that it's then possible to move on. There will be something out there that's just for you. As they say - what's for you won't go past you.
Best wishes
EG
Jollygit - Och, damn and blast! I hate those "not on this occasion" letters.
You know I am going to say "there will be something else" .... but it's true.
Well done on all the housework, btw!
C xx
report posted...
hello everyone
to all of you waiting for something, going to an appointment, thinking deeply about someone, trying to get over something, or with a sore toe, or an ickle baby in their tummy...Hugs{{{all of you}}}}}}
I do hope moose hasn't turned into a pikey, with all that rummaging in TKmaxx!
I am v v proud of myself, as i have done 2 hours 55 mins of ironing (2months worth)this morning..the conclusion i have drawn from this, is that we have too many clothes!
I have taken chris's advice, and will be visiting the butchers today for some steaks ( not stuffing, OOer!) for a treat for MrC
I am off for my book group meeting tonight, so also will be buying some Cava as well.. (obviously not from the butchers..pendants!)super!
Lots of love
caroline xx
P.S man walks into a doctors, he complains of a pain in his eye everytime he drinks a cup of tea. The doctor says "do you take sugar?"
Yes, says the man "do i need to reduce my sugar intake?"
"No", says the doctor "just take the spoon out before drinking".
Rubbish, but i did try xx
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