Tuesday 5 June 2007

Blame culture

Now we have the moon to blame for our violent and criminal behaviour. Interesting that in the interview on the radio that I heard with one of the top police officers in West Sussex Police he was very careful to keep mentioning that the critical statistical link was made between high crime/violence episodes and the days when the full moon coincided with payday.

Now I learned at school that just because there is a statistical correlation between two things doesn't mean that there is a causal relationship. Sad person that I am I can still remember the example that our Economics teacher used. Sad person that I am I also remembered it in an entrance scholarship exam at University - a memory feat that helped me earn some much needed and appreciated extra cash. Anyway, it was that the incidence of cancer in the countries of the world had a very strong correlation with their consumption of canned sardines.

Stop the sardines! Ban the sardines! They cause cancer! They are to BLAME!

Of course the real link was the degree of development of the countries concerned. Only rich, developed countries eat lots of canned sardines. And in poor, underdeveloped countries, most people die from other things before cancer can get a hold of them.

So, wild guess here...but could it possibly be that the larger consumption of alcohol and drugs by people with wallets as fat as their heads at the end of the month might just have a small causal impact on the whole situation?

In the meantime the good police officers of West Sussex will no doubt enjoy the overtime cash they will earn during the times of upgraded police cover. Let's just hope they don't spend it all at the end of the following month on drugs and alcohol or there could be real trouble.

172 comments:

Anonymous said...

Morning all. Have chucked out all my tins of sardines. Thank goodness, moose you should put yourself out there as a public service information guide.

I take back the comments yesterday re: tumbler, him in doors came home last night with the most beautifully decorated, hand carved wooden Buddha, it is just perfect for me. He aint that bad after all!

MfR, the road trip sounds perfect. I would love to go to Portland, it has some great mini festivals of art and film and there is a great filmmaker there called Matt McCormick, say hi from me if you see him - he's the one with bits of ceiling in his hair.

Right, motivation. Work.... struggling! Knackered. Cant even a string together sentence.

xx

Jo said...

And the full moon link is just because people can see drunks fighting at night, instead of fumbling around in the darkness?

And as for Sardines, pleugh, I'm not surprised they cause horrible illnesses!

I think the parté sounds like a fandabidoze idea, however I will be AWOL most of Friday as I've been roped in to do some last minute training, and have a meeting in the afternoon - Don't people know it's a) a friday and b) my birthday!

Anna - When Mr Jo has been asking what I want for my B'day (not bidet) I tell him 'something thoughtful', to which he sighs and tells me I'll get a little present wrapped in a cheque! That's what I like :o)

Past presents have included Bread Maker, Ice Cream Maker, Smoothie Maker, Kitchen Mixer thingy and other such stuff. Now I have absolutely no room left in the kitchen for more gadgets!

MfR - am jealous of your trip, We're away for a couple of weeks in July to my folks place in France but if they haven't got the pool in yet (Dad's retirement present to himself) I've told them I won't be going... How can a girl whale about if there's nothing to whale in???

Laters
:o) Jo

Anonymous said...

Morning Lovely People!

Just a quickie (oo-er missus)...

Sardines - hmmmm - I knew there was something fishy about them (boom boom).

Yes, odd about that coincidence with the full moon, violence and fat wallets...

Can't believe it's Humpday already - too, too busy.

Didn't get home from work until 11.15 last night - that's not a half day I'm owed, that's 6 hours - almost a day! I will be pressing my point later on today.

Righty - I'm off, back to the suppliers for a meeting at 11 - more butties (butties for lunch and dinner yesterday - yuck) and then back home, so will dip in then.

Have a great day all,

S xx.

jollygit said...

Morning! I've never liked sardines - now I know why!!

MfR - the road trip sounds wonderful!

We're booking the flights today for our trip to NZ in January. We're having a stopover in Bangkok on the way out ..... d'ya think a show in Pat Pong would be suitable for my 75-year old mum?!!! Methinks we'll have to put her to bed first and then tip-toe out for a night on the town! We arrive in NZ on my nephew's 8th birthday - not sure who's going to be more excited to be honest, me or him!!!!

Work very quiet today but will be incommunicado tomorrow and most of Friday so I'll bore you rigid today, if that's OK?!

Thank you for your time

jollygit xx

Jo - stamp your foot and insist on being treated like a queen on Friday - how very dare they!

Anonymous said...

'Correlation' is such a pretty word doncha think?

The full mune on Friday night, across the sea and just above the Palace Pier (I REFUSE to call it Brighton Pier, sorry, but I just do) at around 2300 was absolutely AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL. Then at around 0430 on Saturday morning, I don't think I have ever seen a more captivating sight. The sky and sea were such a stunning turquoise and the moon was bright yellow, just hanging in the sky. You could feel the awe. No one was speaking, just watching. Bloody fantastic. You can't pay to see things like that.

So, if the peelers think there is a link, they are bonkers (other types of madness available) because all they've got to do is look at the blimmin calendar because the full moon comes around on an awful lot of paydays...so perhaps the policia should look at staggering paydays instead of staggering drunks...or perhaps not.

Thank you for your time.

PS The boy had the pilchards (sell-by date 2002 but he never reads instructions) on toast the other day, but we have no sardines.

Matt, email me! Friday 20th July looking relatively free atm x

Anonymous said...

Morning all - great blog as always, Moose!

Sardines - I would rather be horse-whipped naked through the streets of Abergavenny than eat them! And I can say that the last time Mr S and I ventured into Glasgow city centre at night, we were terrified at the sight of so many young people stoating about out of their heads, fighting, throwing up and falling about - no full moon to be seen!

Sammie - good to see you - you are a very busy girl.

Jo - we will miss you on Friday! I am sure you will be spoiled, no matter what!

anna - Mr anna has redeemed himself!

Jollygit - I am told NZ is beautiful - January will be here before you know it!

MfR - It's all getting very exciting and very close! What an agenda! Sounds full enough to me!
We only managed one overnight in Vegas - not nearly enough - but try to get to the MGM Grand and put on $10 at any roulette table, on No.21 - there you can have that tip for free! It may or may not win! You are gonna have the time of your life!

Be back later.

C xx

P.S. Moose - saw your cryptic comment next door to Hazel. Yes, I know, if you told me what it means, you would have to kill me!

lyndyloo said...

V.v.quick blog

Note from my mum says I'm excused the blog as I'm very busy getting work sorted before I jet off to Puerto Banus on Friday. (not as exciting as MfR) but may be back later...

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

Anonymous said...

D'you think that when TBlair asks Mr Putin if he can be frank, Mr Putin will say 'only if I can be lillian...'

Moose said...

OK. Next time we have a party the venue is Abergavenny and the menu sardine sandwiches. Entertainment? Watching Chrissie being horse-whipped naked through the streets.

Little comment on CLP was really just for you, Chrissie!

...and just to add to the theme of the post, now microwaves are to blame for us all being fat.

Anna - glad the boy done good in the end! I am starting to collect ideas for Mrs Moose's 40th in July...any contributions gratefully accepted. And no, she's not getting a microwave. Or a can of sardines.

Matt - please drink a beer for me in each and every micro-brewery you visit. I had a great time doing a crawl of them. There's a pub in Atlantic City, right on the beach (think I might have recounted part of this recollection before...blush...) serves a fine drop of ale. If you are going that way. Also...blush...Cannon Beach has some mighty fine jacuzzi's.

The t-shirts from the micro-breweries are also fantastic. I think there's one called Big Horse Ales in Hood River, Oregon. Just at the foot of Mount Hood (nice lodge with own wine label - a bottle of which is coincidentally open in my fridge as we speak).

Got to go to Bend, Oregon as well. Just because you can.

Sorry, getting carried away about the Pacific Northwest - again!

Jo said...

Oooh promotional T Shirts, a chappy I know went to Germany and ended up at a Canal festival (but it was obviously a Kanal festival as he was in Germany). He bought the obligatory Tshirt and started wearing it on his return. Unbeknownst to him when the garment was worn it twisted slightly and the K lodged itself under his armpit making it an anal festival .... And he wondered why he was getting funny looks... No body told him!

Anonymous said...

you see, there you go again moose. Thank you. This evening i shall be disposing of my microwave and celebrating with a large box of chocolates and a bottle of wine. Roll on size 10!

xx

Anonymous said...

Moose, Did I just see your twin brother on the other side? He looks very like you!

Looking forward to our trip later this week!

HL, dropped you a pome on your hen night!

DD v.v.v.busy and out

Moose said...

For Matt...I am of course on the wrong ocean. Should read PACIFIC City...

Anonymous said...

Moose,

Definitely - Abergavenny for the next OAMC! Well, perhaps not.

Oooh the comment next door - I'm useless at this sort of thing!

One bright spot today - I do not own a microwave. I know this is crazy, but I'm kinda scared of them!

Jo - Last year I went to Spain with my sister and brought back a t-shirt for Mr S - I thought was a cracker - black with a white bull on the front. Apparently worn only by gays! Mr S informed me of this himself, but I saw him wearing it while gardening at the weekend. Should I be worried??!!

C xx

Anonymous said...

anna, darling girl, I do hope you are still going to have something to unwrap tomorrow? Something fizzing with a fat cork and a nice red ribbon perhaps...

(am heading to the Naughty Corner already in anticipation of tomorrow and probably Friday)

Jo, can you actually use all these implements? I have a handy fish slice which does very well if there is a wasp about, but I don't think I've ever sliced a fish with it. All credit to you if yes...

I DO love a smoothie...mind you a roughie every now and then never did me any 'arm...

Sammie, you be careful what you dip your buttie in, my girl!

Am a bit bored today. Can you tell?

Moose, I think it's the micro-brewerys that are making you put on weight. If you're stopping at every one...and you're supposed to leave when it goes ping.

We bought previously mentioned friend Ali a t-shirt for her b'day a couple of years ago. She is so painfully shy, and has to meet you at least 479 times before she can even say ''lo', and she can't cope with random people just going up to her when she is out, say, on a Saturday night. The t-shirt says 'F*ck off I'm dancing'.

Unfortunately people now go up to her to say how brilliant they think the t-shirt is, so it back-fired a bit...and the 'u' is on the shirt. We got special dispensation from the printers, but her mum makes her wash it herself, and won't have it on the line.

It was the boy's idea by the way.

I quite like the shirts that say 'if you can read this you're too close' or 'my face is up here', or, if you're a VERY thin laydee 'this IS the front'...

...and jollygit, do you REALLY think anyone would have told him? It's like not telling someone they've got loo roll stuck to their shoe. Much more interesting to laugh and point...

...so Mrs Moose's birthday. Golly. I have no idea. I know someone who is getting rid of a tumbler. BNIBWT and unwrapped.

Dare you!
love
hazel
x

ps ChrissieS, I'd put a book down the back of your trousers if I were you hon!

Dunk In at 12.40 anyone?

ps If anyone is sending me any emails, the system is wearing it's 'Error 404' t-shirt today.

Anonymous said...

There was a young fellow called Dissing
Who was worried that something was missing
While searching his house
His two cats had a mouse
And he couldn't quite hear all the hissing

4 u 2
x

Anonymous said...

Currently dunking a figroll in schwarze Kaffee!

DD out

Moose said...

The only 2 dunking implements I had available were a cup of asparagus soup and a muesli bar. I am still cleaning up the mess...

T-shirts. One of my favourites has a goofy teen face with 'Lost the Plot' on it. Another has an alien with 'Nice person, wrong planet'. Both gifts from Mrs Moose. Should I be worried?

Hazel - nice idea but we recently had to purchase a new washer/dryer so she's fully tooled up in that department. We saw a really nice bracelet while in Cornwall last week but she just bought it there and then. Then we saw a really nice painting. She bought that too. There is a really nice item on e-bay on an auction finishing tonight. She will probably just buy that too.

What's a Moose to do when 'er indoors has the credit cards and the bank details and all the cash is in her name for 'tax purposes'?

Anonymous said...

A friend of mine once had a dolphin...for tax porpoises...

Dunno Moose. I think you are going to have to break open the money boxes of Mooselets #1 and #2 and see what you can get for 73p.

How about a personalised number plate? MOO 5E. Oh no, that't be for you. Erm. A lovely Spa day at the Sanctuary? Mind you, you'd have to get two so she can take someone else with her...

All I can suggest (at the moment, as running very low on both coherent thought and alcohol running through my system) is a quick squizz at...

http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/

...and then see if you can then purchase similar in Woolworths.

I had a herbnerb
love
hazel
x

jollygit said...

Moose - would Mrs Moose appreciate a day at a health spa? If I've ever been asked what I'd like as a gift (and that hasn't happened often) I've always said I'd like some time at a spa where I could chill out and have some treatments 'n stuff.

Went to The Sanctuary in Covent Garden once (ladies only don't you know) and that was heavenly.

Just a thought ..... it's not the sort of thing us girls usually book ourselves.

jollygit

jollygit said...

Ooh, Hazel, that's a bit spooky .... your comment appeared just after I'd typed mine! Great minds eh?

When we win the lottery we'll have to go to The S!!!

jollygit xxxx

Moose said...

She knows every gift website that ever existed. IWOOT is a favourite for purchasing presents FROM her. Good idea but no good for me. The Sanctuary on the other hand (definitely for two, she wouldn't go on her own) is a definite possible.

Presumably a new slimline Moose (gift wrapped in a red ribbon) wouldn't do the trick?

jollygit said...

Moose - I went to The Sanctuary for the day with my sis-in-law and it was wonderful. Also went to Ragdale Hall years ago (blimey, I must have had money in those days and didn't realise it!!) with a mate for two days and that was good too, but it seemed miles from anywhere. At least Mrs M could do some shopping in London once she slithers out of the spa!!

jollygit

Jo said...

Moose - I'm so excited, my present has arrived at the post office and Mr Jo is on his way to fetch it.. I don't care what it is, i just like the feeling of being impatient (not inpatient which is something entirely different!)

Maybe order something random from t'interweb that she has to fetch from the post office - how much more excitement can you get?

:o)Jo

Anonymous said...

Jollygit...spooky indeed!


...and Moose, depends on the size of the ribbon...because it DOES matter (allegedly)...



I know, I know, I'm going...

Moose said...

Well I'll just have to make sure it is a very very large ribbon.

Just to check, it is only the size of the ribbon that matters and nothing else?

Jo said...

NEW CHAIR UPDATE

After 9 1/2 weeks (not the soft porn film) and numerous emails my boss had finally caved on the new chair and emailed our adminny lady to say to order it - Yay, I win.

Chances of it arriving whilst I am still working here = minimal

Irony of it arriving on the day I leave = HUGE!!!

Does this face look Bovvered???

:o) Jo

Anonymous said...

Oh, Moose...as long as you've got a nice big bow you should be fine...

Jo, I have an odd suspicion that it probably doesn't, perhaps just a bit peeved...when do you go? If they order it today, I reckon you'll have it by Friday.

Anyone wanna flutter? I've got 2-1 on Tuesday...

jollygit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jollygit said...

I'll have £2 on it arriving on Wednesday .... this is the chair we're talking about isn't it, and not the baby?!

jollygit

PS I'm the earlier deletion - too many typos and posted instead of previewed - doh!

Anonymous said...

Afternooooooon

More butties today - I think *I have overdosed - YUCK!

T-shirts - love the Fanal story... I have a Pink Panther one, which has the PP on the front and also, the back of the PP on the back, I have a 'Fame' one, one that says "Get Lucky in Kentucky", which of course is a reference to casinos etc, but does draw some odd comments. My fave one though says 'Infamous' on the front - with one word being the mirror image of the other - that certainly throws people, I can tell you, especially if I'm dancing and the girls aren't strapped down very well - ahem, we'll move on, shall we?

Jo - standing ovation for your moral victory - let's just hope it does arrive soon. (the chair, not the baby, although if there's a book, I may bet on the bubba arriving first...)

Moose - is it a red ribbon?

Glad to read you've all maintained a professional level of lunacy throughout my enforced absence :-)

S xx.

Anonymous said...

Moose,

I know this is really lame, but how about her favourite music/film - but I mean something from her "youth" something she talks about nostalgically (is that a word?)

Or a fabulous, not-at-all-practical dressing gown/night garment (oo-er)

Clothes shopping though - always dodgy. The last time Mr S bought me anything to wear (1978) was a dress - a maxi, flowery, smock - I saw the same thing in River Island at the weekend. However, this very dress appeared on Coronation Street being worn by Annie Walker! (ask your mums/grans) She was an old dragon who ran the "Rovers Return" - she was at least 70 and she was wearing MY dress! It's hilarious now, but I was devastated then.

I know I'm probably alone here, but I can't stand spas and the thought of a massage .... ooh just don't fancy it! But hey, maybe it's just me! (where did I hear that before?)

C xx

Anonymous said...

Oh chuff - lost me message...

Chrissie - I used to feel the same until I went to Ragdale Hall - it was superb - can definitely recommend a spa!

Moose - try this one: http://www.hawkin.com/?adnetwork=af&AID=AF01

If I'm ever stuck for gifts, I go there.

Right, better do some more,

S xx.

jollygit said...

Moose - I've got a note from my mum 'cos I won't be here tomorrow or Friday as I'm note-taking the whole time zzzzzzzzzzzz

If I can't get to check what you're all up to when I get home, have a good few days and see you soon.

Jo and Anna - have wonderful birthdays and I hope you both get spoiled rotten xxxx

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

Moose
1. it depends where the ribbon is tied. Obviously.
2. Diamonds - they are forever and they sparkle. simple as.

...... maybe this is why i get gadgets for presents!?

Anonymous said...

...anna...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING!

...and I hope you may indeed get something sparkly...

BxIxG KxIxSxSxExS
and blow
love
hazel
x

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Anonymous said...

Oh Chaps
I'm so sorry I've been missing the fun, but missing it I will still be doing..as I am up to my ears in work, work, work then rellys at the weekend, then work, work work..all because I am having the whole of july off!
not a mega trip like Matt or Jolly........just ....Shh! it's a secret..Whisper..Disneyland Paris.You can talk normal now... Then Butlins Minehead ( Chav me) then St Ives, not so chavvy, more like chelsea on sea, a bit.
Jolly - If you get a chance - Jim Thompson's house in Bangkok ( don't beleive the men who say it's closed) it's an oasis in the city, and suitable for all the family. Pat Pong is OK to walk around, just don't go into a club, if you don't want to be shocked.
Mrs Moose B Day - Spa days are the best, deffo.
Hope the gift you choose is loved!
Flowers are good too,
Happy Birthday to You both Anna and Jo (ironic chair! ha!)
probably won't make party..shame, I had a cocktail to share aswell, n'er mind , eh.
Love to all
Caroline

jollygit said...

Caroline - thanks for the travel tips! Get you though, having a whole month off!! OK, so we're away for three weeks but it's still not a whole month!!!!

We're quite happy to be shocked in Pat Pong but not sure my 75-year old mum would cope with it .... still, a little bit of sedation should do the trick! Only joking!!!!!

Take care all and have fun tomorrow.

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

Anna,

Happy Birthday! XXX

Keith the BigUn
xx

Jo said...

Anna - Happy birthday :o)

I'm, slightly jealous of you as you will have been born on the Silver Jubilee and thus got showered in loads of free stuff...(So my mum says anyway). My sister had to ask for a Jubilee cup for me from the parish council when she went to get hers (they were given to all the children in the village) and she was refused (she was 2 at the time!).

How Rude?

The midwives did ask my mum if she wanted to be induced but she declined....I think she lived to regret it when she heard about the years supply of free nappies she could have got!

:o) Jo

PS. Am having if orf this afternoon to dog sit (boo!) but may drop by do start the conga!

Anonymous said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNA!!

The first time my mum found out I smoked was at the street party we had for the Silver Jubilee...and I was a punk rocker at the time. My, she was proud...

Now, I have some work to do...don't go away...
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

Morning all, thank you for the well wishes and birthday greetings! Jo, its true - i am a jubilee baby and i did get lots of free stuff including pencils, pencil cases, serviette holders, plastic cups, memorial coins and a whole host of woolworths style memorabilia. Not to mention the cutting from the paper of a knackered mother and me screaming my head off, the first jubilee baby to be born in the sunny town of Dronfield, nr. Sheffield. Maybe one day they will be worth something!?

My mum hated the fact i was born on jubilee day cos they were having posh lunch on the wards, i was born at 2.30 so by the time she had given birth, all the good stuff had gone and she was left with the staple post birth diet of tea and toast. some things never change!

So I am work today, will try to pop by, hoping to leave early to join you for the lovely riverside walk.

s'u next jo.
xx

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Anna!!

Have a wonderful day and just let everyone spoil you!

I didn't realise that babies born on 7th June 1977 received gifts, etc - very handy!

Anything special planned for tonight? Ooo-er, you know what I mean!

Have a great day!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Hey, anna, I'm celebrating in true style then, I have JUST THIS VERY MINUTE had both tea and toast.

I would add however, that I have not just given birth...nor am I likely to be doing so anytime soon.

Thank you for your time.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh, I never forget to add my name! Anna, the previous message was from me!

Cxx

Moose said...

HAppy Birthday Anna!

Sorry, have been slightly travel delayed and getting everything organised. Party kicks off in half an hour as planned though.

Nice and sunny 'ere innit (Zion that is...)

Anonymous said...

Hello? Is there anyone here yet?

Pop. Fizz. Glug.

Cheers....

xx

Moose said...

Fireworks!
Party Poppers!
Champagne corks!

Let's get this party started...

Anonymous said...

I've brought along my special vodka martinis, prepared last night, chilled to perfection!

It's a bit hot for my trackie's, but I'll struggle on!

C xx

lyndyloo said...

Happy Birthday Anna!

Mine's a pink bubbly one cheers!!!

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

Anonymous said...

Its alright chrissie, ive got spare shorts. Just in case. I have wet wipes too, and antibacterial hand gel. Better to be safe than sorry!

Anonymous said...

Anna, You are SO prepared! I'm very impressed.

I've also brought some kettle crisps and nibbles (not nipples, Moose) that I managed to get through customs. I made sure they didn't get crushed on the way over.

What time's lunch? Or shall we just opt for the liquid variety?!

C xx

Anonymous said...

I didnt realise we had to leave nipples behind. Im sorry, i may be some time.

Anonymous said...

Moose, you sound like Shirley Bassey...did you bring your sparkly red dress with the split to the thigh, or may it be a tad difficult to climb rocks in...?

If anyone is interested I've got willy shaped ice cubes and SORRY HAZEL BAD YOU CAN'T COME TO THIS YOU STAY WHERE YOU ARE NOW AND YOU CAN GO OUT LATER

I've got savlon and a small bottle of absinthe. If Cazza is about she should have a cork screw I believe, and I've also arranged a helicopter drop at around 1pm with some JD+coke. There should be a keg of Guiness Extra Cold about for the Moose as well somewhere...

...and the worlds all right with me, and I know it's gonna be a lovely day!

I'm the one in the chameleon swimsuit. Now you see me...

love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

I am here!

I have brought a can of party 7. It has been under my stairs for some time but it should be OK.

Keith the BigUn
xx

Anonymous said...

Hi Keith!

It won't have a sell-by date on it, so no worries!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Hi Chrissie,

Looks like there could be a good turnout. I have seen Hazel in her swimsuit... Wow.... do you think that is fake tan?

Keith
xx

Anonymous said...

Hazel - Keith's right, the tan is looking good!

However, I'm slightly more interested in the willy-shaped ice cubes - do we have enough?

C xx

Anonymous said...

Never mind whether it's fake, From what I just witnessed it's all over!

What a fab place.

Anyone for home made Baklava?

DD out

Anonymous said...

Nuthin about me is fake darlin...

I also have some straws with nipples and other bits on the end for sucking. But that's not for here...or is it...

I have to go up the road now to flag down a salt seller. I've found me pepper grinder, and he's got some cool moves...

exit
bad
hazel
xxx

Anonymous said...

Hi chaps

Just popped in to say hello, but can't stop long. Things to do, places to go I'm afraid (it's the new job - doesn't allow time for blogging at the moment, but I'm hoping to re-train them so I can manage a more regular attendance on the Moose blog).

I brought a bottle of Martini Rosso with me - found it in the cupbard. No sell by date so it shoudl be OK. Should be enhanced no end by willy shaped ice cubes.

Will hang around for a bit ... (do you have a designated naughty corner yet?)

Anonymous said...

DD, don't you think it's a bit hot for knitwear?

Anonymous said...

analog, I'm in it. Wherever you see me...NC1...

love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's too hot for a knitted swimsuit - my mum made this for me years ago and it's grown with me. Just don't let me anywhere near the water or there'll be room for several of us inside.

Hazel, NC1 it is - I'm on my way. Did you bring the water cooler???

Anonymous said...

Analog - good to see you!

Unfortunately I will have to leave my nibbles and martinis in everyone's capable hands for a wee while. I have do attend to some work! Over the lunch break!

Be back soon, I hope.

C xx

Anonymous said...

Is the Guinness extra cold only for moose? Its just that my pilchard curry isnt so hot and i could do with a meal in a glass or this pink champers will go to my head.

Hope the swim suit doesnt chafe, and DD - you shuntabeen looking. Im sure HL had no intention of flashing you her inside elbow - shes just not that kinda gal... although you have to be impressed with how evenly she spreads it. St tropez HL?!

Anonymous said...

I did bring all my camouflage gear with me for a reason! No point being invisible if you cant snatch a quick glimpse of the Love form!
Delightful, Delovely, Delicious! That's not fake tan, that's gravy browning!!

Move over Hazel. NC1 pour moi!


DD out

Anonymous said...

blimey its a steep one, hope Jo can manage!

Did anyone bring a haversack, maybe we could fashion some kind of pregnant safe piggy back device to help her on the hike.

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness that was you DD, for a horrible moment I thought it was Harry Potter...

now then. has everyone gone for the walk? i appear to be the only one here. i wish i hadn't worn the chameleon suit now because i can't see my arm and i keep knocking my drink over...

Is there an opposite of Skinny Dipping?

lyndyloo said...

I've had to be excused mass partying due to a need for packing suitcase in readiness for the off tomorrow... without the laptop! It's going to be like a real holiday! Obviously this is why I've had to wear last seasons costume and slightly frayed flip-flops though I have to say they're far more comfortable than the new ones... anyone for a pina colada Marlene?

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

Moose said...

Opposite of skinny dipping has to be Fatty Humping?

Anonymous said...

For Keith...from my bestest friend!

Two blokes are pushing their shopping trolleys around a supermarket when they collide.
The first bloke says to the second bloke, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going".
The second bloke says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate".
The first bloke says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does
your wife look like"?
The second bloke says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, 5 feet 11 inches tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, big jubblies, long legs and is wearing tiny little shorts and a crop top. What does your wife look like?"
The first bloke says, "Who gives a f**k? Let's look for yours."

Ta, as they say, da...
love
hazel
x

Things is looking up. I have nearly finished todays work, and still have another 1.5l of Mr Daniel's finest to go. Hoo, as they say, rah...

ps ChrissieS, more willy shaped ice cubes are on their way. Being sent fron unICEf with the rice and vol au vents...thank you for your time.

Anonymous said...

Moose!

Shocked.

Frankly

and Johnnily

Shocked.

I like the flags on your antlers btw

Anonymous said...

Moose - I am shocked and stunned to be exposed to such filth. And at my tender years.

Anonymous said...

Tho this could be wots on offer to mr anna given that its my birthday.

too much information. Probably.

Anonymous said...

Lyndyloo - enjoy the peace without the laptop! (Personally, I think we have all gone mad, Mr S received a text message at 7.04am yesterday from some saddo to arrange a meeting. At least, that's what he tells me!).

Yes, hope the walk has gone well. I have checked in with the Lodge.
The wine is accheptable. They expect us at 7.30pm sharp. I have informed the restuarant that we will be adjourning at 9.30pm to discuss what we are missing re: House!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Why Hazel I think I ca see her in the fruit and veg section...

To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1.Actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favourite Things" from the legendary movie "Sound Of Music." Here are the lyrics she used:


Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Cadillac's and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things.
When the pipes leak, when the bones creak,
when the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
and we won't mention our short, shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.
When the joints ache, when the hips break,
when the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Now maybe we could all have a sing-along?


Keith the BigUn
xx

Moose said...

Chrissie - don't forget the time difference. House is on at 9pm in the Uk, so that's, um, about 3pm in Zion. Oh shit, we just missed it...How does that work? I'll just have to record it later now.

Lucky Mr Anna!!!! Doesn't he usually have to wait for HIS birthday?

Hazel - LOL!

Moose said...

Keith - I think you are mistaken. That's just the melon and peach section...

Anonymous said...

Moose, oh I am really quite generous in that department. On his birthday he not only gets it, but i actively get involved.... instead of reading cosmo over his shoulder.

Anonymous said...

Anna,
"Get off your back girl, get on the top girl!". With apologies to Michael Hucknall for plagiarism!

DD out

Anonymous said...

DD - i admit, this would stop bed head problems!

Anonymous said...

Thank you all for the lovely walk, i should really just pop home and see if my clothes are dry.

see you all tomorrow.... Jo - start as you mean to go on!

xx

Anonymous said...

Moose I did think she was admiring the cucumbers and bananas…. I could be wrong though!

Keith

lyndyloo said...

Righty-ho my dearest bloggers, I must bid you all a fond farewell. I'm about to pack up for the day, pack up my suitcase, unpack my suitcase, pack it all up again, realise I've forgotten the most important thing and then try to get the lid shut and zipped up before having a relaxing night with my bears before heading off in the morning.

Everyone who's celebrating I'll be there with you in spirit (40% proof or above). MfR have a great road trip! HL- I'll bring you some ML's back no worries. And don't forget it's the Roobears 100th birthday party on the 16th when I get back, you're all more than welcome. Email me and I'll send directions to Atherstone-on-sea (or more by canal).

Taty-bye for now

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

ps Viva Espania!!

Anonymous said...

Moose, of course the time difference ...... might just have to miss this episode completely, even though it's important! Vital, even!

Anna - Mr S used to think I was joking when I read Cosmo over his shoulder! Of course it was a joke - the man's an Adonis!

C xx

Moose said...

Anna - will be raising a little something for you at about 8.55pm tonight, just for a quickie before House.

Anyone care to join me?

Roll on tomorrow. No Jo, I didn't mean that literally.

Anonymous said...

anna...if there is anything wrapped in a ribbon, please approach with extreme caution, and possibly a rolled-up newspaper because after all, you never know. If it is small and box shaped, it is probably a carton of Daz.

There are 27 cracks in your ceiling, and 11 cobwebs above the wardrobe - I had the window cleaner check on your behalf, so enjoy!

Jo, wake up in the morning rejoicing that you are possibly the only person who has attended todays festivities who doesn't need alka seltzer. Virtual or otherwise. I hope the sun is shining for you!

Keith, DD, and anyone else who may care, ChrissieS and I are sharing room 214, and we shall be adorning our stockings at approximately 9.15. This is when the door will be locked. It is only if you ask nicely that we will let you out again.

I'm sorry, the dual personality pills are just kicking out...I have no idea if that was me or her who just wrote that...

hey ho
love
hazel
x

who you callin' a ho

XXX happy birthday anna XXX
30 to blow
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
and wish...xx

Anonymous said...

Moose, I'm up for a quickie before house. Is that a euphemism? Or an inyourendo?

Bottoms up
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

Anna, never have I known a birthday party to be QUITE so lively!

Have a wunnerful evening and enjoy the rest of your birthday.

Jo - surely things will be a LITTLE more demure tomorrow - you are a lady-in-waiting, after all!

Laters ... (as Ms S would say)

C xx

Anonymous said...

Anna, what a great party! You really know some crazy people. ;-))

Jo, sadly I am unavailable for your bash in the morning as I am going fishing, -( well I am if I can manage to get out or room 214…

Happy birthday to you xx

Keith the BigUn
xx

jollygit said...

Happy birthday Anna! Glad the party went well and so sorry I missed it. I've been in meetings from 9am until 6pm and I've had to take notes the whole time ..... didn't realise I could eat a sandwich and take notes at the same time - multi-tasking or what?!

Moose and Hazel - tsk, tsk, but at least you were company for each other in NC1.

Jo - happy birthday for tomorrow !!xxxx

jollygit xx

jollygit said...

And Lyndyloo .. you've probably left for Espana by now but have a wonderful holiday!!!!!

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

Anna - I can't believe I missed your birthday party - looks as though it was a good one! :-(

Sorry I have been absent so much everyone, but damn work! Just gets in the way.

Anyhoo - haven't caught up with everyone's messages yet, but wanted to let you all know I'm thinking of you!

S xx.

Anonymous said...

help, I am stuck in room 214. There seems to be no hope for me. i am bound up and strapped to the bed. Save yourselves! they are animals.


please do not stage a rescue attempt, cos I'm lovin it lovin it lovin it, I'm lovin it like this!!!

DD out

Jo said...

Have just popped in to clear some debris ready for this afternoon..... Sorry I was AWOL yesterday, I was having it orf!!

Can anyone here knocking? It appears to be coming from room 214, is there something we should know????

It's my party and I'll get drunk and be sick if I want to (virtually).

Can I just confirm that this is now a sardine free zone - excellent!

Am orf training now, back after 1 o clock, don't be too drunk!

:o) Jo

Anonymous said...

XXX HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO XXX

XXXXXXXXXX :O) XXXXXXXXXX

for you to blow
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
and wish x

love
hazel
x

Moose said...

Happy Birthday Jo!!!

What are Keith and DD doing in room 214? Together? Both tied up?

Can someone order me a large stack for breakfast - I'll work my way through them when I get back from my morning jog.

(Pancakes in case you were wondering...)

Anonymous said...

Jo,

I know you are not there, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Hope the training was not too chronic and that you can enjoy the rest of your day.

Have a lovely birthday, I hope you get spoiled rotten!

C xx

Anonymous said...

...a large stack. First thing in the morning. Every girls dream. And the rope was ChrissieS's idea. Mind you, the honey was mine, but that's not for here. At least not yet. I haven't had my first cup of tea!

Moose, if you find a park ranger or a boy scout, in fact anyone who is good at undoing knots...could you ask them to pop by? We lost the cardkey, but the manager has a master.

...and that's another game...hockey anyone?

Anonymous said...

Hazel,

Just to let you know I have settled our account at reception and they were very understanding about the damage to the room. Look, it was just one of those things: no-one could have predicted that Keith would insist on demonstrating the joys of fishing!

Apparently we'll get news of our Court Date by post. If nothing else, it will mean a day off work.

Regards.

C xx

Anonymous said...

Morning!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO X X X X X X X X

Can't believe it's Friday already! This week has absolutely flown by.

Just been to Docs, don't have to go back now until September, which is very good. Feeling pleased with progress made to date.

Got a great weekend planned, plenty of..... ahem, sorry, and it's all kicking off with Jo's birthday bash today - how wonderful.

I know this sounds daft, but I had a GREAT cup of tea this morning! I usually have either Earl Grey or Tetley (decaff of course), but tucked in my Earl Grey box was a sample of Twinings Everyday Tea - oh my - it was yummy! I am going out later to buy more!

DD - are you still in room 214? Do you need assistance? Sounds like it's fun and I WANNA PLAY!!!

S xx.

Anonymous said...

Chrissie, you have made me laugh out loud for the first time this week! Thank you x

(all been a bit of a long heavy one (ooer) but far too uninteresting to go into on here)

Thank you for your time
love you!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Jo!!!! Hope your day is fabulous and that you get all you hoped and dreamed for.

30 - its like proper grown up stuff.

Right, need some substinance. Am going to get these sausages popping. Anyone care to join me?

xx

Anonymous said...

Sammie - good to hear you sounding in top form! You have reminded me of Twinings tea and I am going to get some this weekend too! Have a wonderful weekend - sounds as though it may be fairly active!

Hazel - what I just love about Moose's blog is that we can all escape from real life for a wee while. It certainly keeps me sane! (ish).

I think all the excitment yesterday was too much for me because today I am so ill. I think I have food poisoning, would you believe, Moose and Hazel - from mushrooms! Had them for lunch yesterday, by 9pm last night, started to go downhill. By 3am, things not good. So, the upshot is, I'm heading home at lunchtime. 1pm cannot come quick enough! My PJ's are calling out for me. They are saying ..... "how come we can talk?"

I'll be back before I go. If you know what I mean.

C xx

Anonymous said...

Chrissie,

Let's just say that I'm hoping 'fairly' will be an understatement! I have 0.5 lbs to lose and didn't get to my meeting this week - so the weekend activity will just give me that push, hopefully. Oh, such a shame for the 'special' friend...

Sorry you're poorly {{{hugs}}} hope you feel much better soon.

S xx.

Anonymous said...

ChrissieS, that is truly shitake babe, absolutely pepto bismal...

Anyhoo, you can still have virtual fun!

anna...Popping sausages. Fab. Just need some gentlemans relish and we're off.

One thing people, I'd like to know who substituted the water in the cooler for vodka? I feel congratulations are in order for such a superb idea.

So, anna, any ribbons or anything else of note last evening? Or did you end up watching Hustle/House and Shark?

pass the p.i.bs
love
hazel
x

ps Sammie and Skinny up a tree, s-l-i-m-m-i-n-g...well it nearly works...so do I heh heh heh!

gotta run, the pun police are after me...

Anonymous said...

mmmf mmmf ffmfmf mfmfmm fmmfffm ooooeeee!

DD out (but still in Room 214)

Anonymous said...

Oh, Chrissie, I always end up sounding mean! Sorry you are poorly bunny! I promise I was nowhere near the mushrooms yer 'onner...not this time, anyway...

Sending you not-too-tight hugs because don't want to hurt your tender bits!

love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

Hazel, you, mean? Never! Thank you for the hugs. And thank you Sammie, too.

Poor DD! It's honestly nothing to do with me - I suggested we settle down to watch House but Hazel and her crazy crowd had other ideas! Now, look what's happened. And I need that rope back to hang out my washing over the weekend!

Just waiting to go home, hopefully soon. Have you guys remembered to get a cake for Jo?

C xx

Anonymous said...

no ribbons hazel, but its amazing what you can do with a curly wurly. Especially in this heat, they become very maluable.

must dash, have an american with large qty of coffee and biscuits to take advantage of.

Hope your day is going well jo, see y'all later.
have a nice day now.

xx

Anonymous said...

DD, if you can manage it, tie the sheets together and you should be able to slither down on to the roof of the orangery via the ivy trellis and drainpipe. ChrissieS has already settled the bill, so you can have the dressing gown too if you like. We have already got the shower caps and slippers...

So, two ducks go on their honeymoon, and the drake realises he's forgotten the condoms...

Oh you've heard it.
ah well

Is there still any voddie in that cooler? If I'm on my own in the cooler can I have a tennis ball?

I'm bored, hungry and on my own. Am going for cig.

...DD, all you have to do is spit it out you know...

Anonymous said...

There is a guy on jezza called John Peenar...heh heh heh!

Anonymous said...

OK that's better. Hazel you are so mean! Tying me up in all my camouflage gear!

After you left the cleaner came in and I nearly got Dyson'd to death. Then she tried to use the nozzle to get a stain off me trousers! You really should be more careful with that free moisturiser!

I really think you and ChrissieS should describe what Keith was doing with his rod and tackle last night!

DD out (battered and bruised)

Anonymous said...

Chums,

I have been released from my personal Hell and I'm outta here!

Jo, enjoy the rest of your day! Hope you have lots of nice surprises waiting for you when you get home! Hey, Mr Jo, I didn't mean THAT!

See you Monday, have a good weekend everyone!

C xx

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry DD, but I think you should be explaining, and not just to me, why you kept referring to your 'Oozey Nine Millimeter'.

Keith's rod and tackle were mild by comparison...it was his flies that were slightly worrying...

ChrissieS, if you haven't quite gone, I hope you feel better for the weekend!

Right. Where's the cake?

Jo said...

If you put aside the associated dangers, did this

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6732003.stm

make anyone else laugh???

"Olé, olé, olé olé - feeling hot, hot, hot!"

:o) Jo

jollygit said...

I've just back from the meetings I've been note-taking in and I wish they'd been half as eventful as your shenanigans today!!!!

Jo - happy birthday doll!!

Hazel - good to know you're larfin' again - much love to you babe xxxxxxx

I'm going to clear off in a minute 'cos there's nothing doing here until Monday.

Me and 'im indoors are going to see Oceans 13 tonight ... all that beefcake in just one film - might be some rod/tackle/flies for me later on this evening if I'm lucky!

Have great weekends everyone.

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

Jo,
I love the fact that the only thing he complained about was the spilt drink. What about the flies in your teeth man?

DD out

Anonymous said...

Hazel, I was more concerned about where he was going with his ragworm!

DD out

Anonymous said...

DD. Have nearly just choked on tea/spat tea out couldn't quite make up my mind what to do.

It's the flies wot dunnit.

...and Jo, lovely Jo, are you going home soon my darling? Is Sophie puppy organising a surprise pardie for her mummy? Will Sophie puppy be the only person in the house wearing a red ribbon this evening (other colours are available...pink for instance)? Is Mr Jo still going to be laying turf this weekend or are things looking up?

I just have to fetch a cloth now to clear tea mess. Have been told off...they don't know that I am already in the naughty corner...

Anonymous said...

Velly Solly

DD out

Anonymous said...

My you lot know how to throw a party ...

Nothing to add but Happy Birthday to Anna (sorry its late) and Jo.

Have a great weekend folks - and try not to get any flies caught in your teeth.

Anonymous said...

SHOUTAGRAMME FOR:

MATT FROM RUDGWICK

YOU HAVE BEEN ABSENT WITHOUT LEAVE OR A NOTE stop

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO GO ON HOLIDAY BOTH WITH LEAVE AND A NOTE stop

PLEASE ENSURE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME AND UNTIL I HEAR OTHERWISE I SHALL KEEP THE 20TH JULY PENCILLED IN ON MY CALENDAR AS A POSSIBLE KNEES UPPING SESSION stop

HAVE A FABULOUS HOLIDAY stop

YRS.
H. LOVE
MS

you can stop now
x

Jo said...

Hazel - I answered the questions but the computer said no, and now I don't know what I said and I can never replicate the comments I've made!

Think that the answers were something along the lines of yes, no, no, yes, no - or in the words of Willy Wonka - strike that, reverse it.


:o) Jo (who wants to get drunk and fall over)

Anonymous said...

I
want
to
go
home
I
have
had
more
than
enough
this
week
I'm
just
SO
glad
you
were
all
here
with
me
thank
you
all
and
thank
you
Moose
love
hazel
x

Anna and Jo I hope you both had lovely birthdays and that you have fantablous weekends...

HL (worn) out

Anonymous said...

Hazel

I

couldn't

agree

more.

This

week

has

been

too

long,

but

thank

Moose

for

keeping

the

blog

community

functioning.

till

next

week

ta

ta

DD

out

PS

At

a

red

light

you

stop

STOP

Anonymous said...

Have a great weekend all, especially the birthday girls!

S xx.

P.S. Ou est ce que Moose?

P.P.S. Matt - have great hols :-)

xx.

Anonymous said...

We outta here.

The maps are packed, the Pods are charged and we are ready to roll.

It's Road Trip time.

Snazzy hotel at Heathrow tomorrow before umpteen squillion miles flying on Monday.

I can't believe it is finally here. After months of research, plotting and planning it is time to hit the road and hope we don't get lost. Much.

After all, getting a teeny bit lost now and then is part of the fun.

Otherwise, we'd have booked a coach trip.

I'm particularly looking forward to seeing Mt Rainier, the Redwood forests and Death Valley.

Oh, and hitting Vegas for the umpteenth time. It is always a bag of fun.

Not forgetting San Francisco, of course.

Be happy my friends.

See you soon

MfR

Anonymous said...

Yuk.

'Umpteen' twice in one paragraph.

I do apologise.

MfR

Jo said...

MfR- Hope you have a fabby time - the most exciting thing I am looking forward to is Grease and Joseph finales tonight!

Getting lost is probably the most fun part ofany holiday, provided you remain in high spirits throughout

:o) Jo

Moose said...

Have a great holiday Matt. Hope you get to check in with us on your way so we, particularly me, can feel very jealous of where you are!

Fulfiled a long planned idea this morning and took mooselet #1 canoeing. We paddled through the middle of Cambridge, past all the colleges. Good fun and great male bonding session...

jollygit said...

Moose - a few years ago, myself and my then boyfriend went canoeing in Cambridge. I'd been promised an organised punt down the river but at the last minute he decided we would canoe ourselves. All was well until we decided to moor up by a pub ....... as he was explaining how to get out of a canoe properly, using one of the paddles, I got impatient, stepped on the side of the canoe, and we both ended up in the River Cam, swallowing much duck s**t and algae! I was hauled out by at least a dozen Japanese tourists who thought it was hysterical while he stayed in the water to retrieve both paddles. We then had to canoe all the way back again.

We were staying in a caravan, which I'd towed due to him having lost his license through drink-driving (oh yes, he was a diamond, this one) and having showered and changed, we headed out of the caravan to get something to eat - unfortunately I slipped off the top step of the caravan steps and sprained my ankle. Although I couldn't walk the next day I could still drive and, as he'd already bought tickets for Duxford Air Museum, we still went, and I ended up getting pushed around in a wheelchair which had been kindly offered to me by one of the Museum staff, who had seen me hobbling up to the entrance.

It was a memorable trip ..... and a short relationship!!!

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

Drove under Hatfield early yesterday. Didn't see any chavs! With the M1 shut until early morning, I decided to cut across to the A1(M) and had a very pleasant burn down the (motorway), on my way to Sarf-East London, mate!

Watched the F1 GP when we got home, well done to Lewis what a fabulous drive, but ohmigod the Kubica crash!

Trust we are all feeling well this grey and misty morning, I anticipate it will burn off and become a v. pleasant day later!

Come on to the England boys, rip it up Monty!!!

I'm likely to be v. v. v. busy this week so may only have chance to pop in b4 work or at lunchtime, but at least then am off to middle recreation ground (CP) at Robin Hood country (SF) next week! So work hard play hard time!!!!

For now best wishes to everyone.

DD out

PS young punk spilling beer on my shoes

PPS blue jeans sitting on the beach

Anonymous said...

DD - CP at SF, is round the corner from my house. If you hear the noise on saturday night i apologise. It will be the official 30th birthday party for which i am holding out all hope the rain stays away. If you manage to escape the CP for anytime, pop to the d&d....dog and duck for some fodder - you wont be dissapointed. Turn left out of CP, then left at the lights and its on your left just past the old train bridge.

The last time i went in a canoe it was on Peak 90, as a guide. I fell out of the canoe on to a rock and had a bruise that took up the entire of my thigh, sadly this did not help my cause when trying to attract the scouts from Bath, who were camped next to our site. Im sure it wasnt the bad hair and teeth that put them off!

Have a nice week all, hope its lovely and sunny and quick. Roll on the weekend.

xx

Anonymous said...

Anna, If I hear the noise on Saturday night, there really will be a problem, we're not coming up till Monday! Still, we might have to pop in the D&D for lunch on the way in on Monday, much cheaper than anything on site, I'm sure!

DD out

Anonymous said...

Happy Monday all (or y'all for MfR). There is a photograph of me in a canoe. The best thing about it is the rather snazzy t-shirt I'm wearing, but there we go. I do not remember the whole experience being particularly pleasant and then some girls from another school set light to some of our chalets. Some years later I decided to have another go and had to canoe through Canterbury. It was cold and I was bloody miserable. Exit potential career as Olympic Canoeist(Canoeer,Canoeette?)

As a Moose/let bonding session, I imagine it would have been fun. The only downside being removing weed from antlers afer capsize practice....and I expect you looked totally delish in your little yellow plastic skirt, eh Moose?

Anyhoo, have slightly sunburnt chest from watching the gin palaces trying to moor/dock/park/kill the bloke in the dinghy who wasn't looking where he was going at the Marina yesterday, then drinking too much beer on my friend's balcony. Consekwently, today is stretching ahead like MfR's road trip, but I am not looking forward to it as much as him...

Still, may have found somewhere TINY TINY to live, and got the paperwork for my loan through, so all systems to check.

Anyone who would like to be hypnotised in the name of science please add your name to the list. Sometime after December I expect.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn
love
hazel
x

Mmmmm Tea? I should say so!

Jo said...

Morning all :o)

Am having a painful day today, heartburn, back etc. Is it normal to feel like this after you turn 30??

re canoeing, I love canoeing, but only down the Dordogne river in high summer. My first experience was about aged 3 and I have photographic evidence to prove that I had THE BEST sunglasses in the world - ever!

We used to set up a little canoe rescue service from our campsite (parents were teachers so we camped for the whole summer!) whereby we would wait for stupid English tourists to get stuck or capsize in the rapids and 4 pre-teen girls would swim out and rescue them, their personal belongings and often their small children, then we used to save the canoe and tow it to the side and see them on there merry way (if they were fit). If the canoe was cracked (quite often it was) we used to take them up to our phonebox and phone the canoe company for them... Then we waited for some hard cash reward!

If it was particularly bad the parents would be on hand to offer cold beers to the adults and ice pops to the hysterical kids....It was great fun.

Photo link to campsite showing rapids is here, campsite on right after bridge and rapids (very tiny) are in the middle of the river by the beach.

http://www.msualum.com/alumni_travel/photo-gallery/dordogne-03/View%20of%20Dordogne%20River%20in%20Domme.JPG

Them were the days

:o) Jo

Anonymous said...

Am disappointed that there is no photo of your sunglasses.

Anonymous said...

Good morning - another week at the fun factory looms ahead! Just how difficult can it BE to win the lottery?

Feeling completely back to normal after being poisoned last week. Even managed to have a couple of glasses of wine last night - standards cannot be allowed to slip!

Jo - re: Joseph on Saturday - were you pleased Lee won? I think he is utterly brilliant and I am hoping I get to London this year to see him.

Hazel - it doesn't matter how tiny your new place is, you will make it your home and with luck you'll get some decent neighbours!

Moose/Jollygit (fabulous story!)/Anna/Hazel/Jo: I would honestly rather be horse-whipped naked through the streets of Blackpool than step into a canoe! I don't do boats, I don't do water, so let's not organise that when we get together for the OAMC summer day out! You are all quite sporty really, aren't you?!

Well, my desk is covered in stuff to be done, better get on with it.

Hope Monday is kind to you all!

C xx

jollygit said...

Chrissie - re: the Joseph final on Sat night - Lee is just luvverly (slobber, slobber) and I was thrilled for him. I'm planning on getting tickets as well as it's one of my favourite musicals. I'll see you at the Stage Door afterwards, shall I?!!!!!!

I hate boats and water, especially as I can't swim, so canoeing was hell for me even before the fated trip! What I didn't tell you was that on our way TO the canoes, I stopped to stroke three collie dogs who were tied up nearby. They were lovely and very pleased to have some attention but as I was saying tara to them, one of them bit me on the hand ... drew blood 'n all! I should have known then that the day was just going to go downhill !!

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

Jollygit - wouldn't it be great to meet up after Joseph! Who knows, it may happen!

A couple of years ago I went to see Elaine Stritch at the Old Vic (she was sensational). I went on my own - Mr S hates the theatre and no-one else was available. I had a VIP ticket, fabulous seat and champagne reception on arrival. The only problem was - there was not another person with a VIP ticket. I sat in the VIP section on my own, reading my free programme (which had actually cost a fortune!) and of course all the "ordinary" people kept staring at me, trying to work out who I was - I was so obviously NOT a VIP!

Just a regular seat in the Stalls for me from now on!

C xx

Moose said...

...am losing track of the future OAMC locations where we will be watching Chrissie being horse-whipped naked through the streets.

Lee/Joseph - so something else good does come out of Essex! Haven't really watched the series but saw one at the very beginning. Me and Mrs Moose larfed so much when we saw Keith - would have put money on him being kicked out very very early. How stunned was I that he made it to the final. Big relief for Lord L-W that Lee won, methinks...

And forget Lewis the wet fish, wot about the other Lewis - local boy done good - Hamilton? I'm not a great F1 fan but I know a guy at the gym who used to coach Lewis when he started in karts...got to be a good thing he's doing well, I reckon. Let's just not hype him up too much, shall we. Let him get on with it and be successful.

Sorry for being thick, but CP at SF? Am lost!

Anonymous said...

Sorry Moose,

Center Parcs @ Sherwood Forest! (Other types of Parc are available, in alternative locations).

DD out

PS Cant wait for the OAMC in Blackpool, all that naked 'orse-whipping, sounds like some sort of cult!

Anonymous said...

Chrissie, you should be hiring yourself out. Weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs...y'know the drill! Make a forchoon darlin

Moose, Centre Parks at Sherwood Forest...if my mind isn't playing tricks...but then am I really here...or am I lost too...

...and Chrissie, re the new tiny Badger Sett...the agent (love 'im, totally barking and really sweet guy) was at great pains to tell me that there isn't anyone dodgy in the block of flats or adjacent..."certainly no oiks or drug dealers...although you do know it's a bit iffy up the road don't you..?", and the bit that really made me laugh the most was when he pointed out that our bedroom window faces the convent over the road. So I 'spose we'll just have to make sure the nuns ain't looking...

Am currently making my way through possibly the biggest chicken, sweetcorn and mayonnaise roll in the world...but that's not for here...

chook chook
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

sorry DD, should've read ParCs not parks...

and I think you'll find it's Theatre of Hate or Southern Death, but there we go...

Am now being affected by huge roll. May have to go for short stroll...

Thank you for your time.

Anonymous said...

Southern Death - Isn't that Eastbourne/Bournemouth Sea Front or God's Waiting Room.

I understand that the reason a number of Life Insurance Companies are based along the south coast is to be near their clientele, you know the blue rinse brigade!

DD out

Sorry to anyone of advancing years with hair the colour of the sky!

Moose said...

DD - that'll be me I think? Well, today anyway as it's very grey here...

I have just finished my second draft of my short story for the Bridport Prize. Thanks to Caroline for the inspiration. Just got to get it proof read by 'er indoors and get it in the virtual post. Then I can get back to the book...or maybe the golf course. The weather is looking dodgy for the rest of the week so today may be the only good chance to play.

Anonymous said...

Hazel,

I really hope you opt for the flat across the road from the convent - I can't wait to hear what those nuns get up to!

When I was young, we lived in a tenement flat overlooking the chapel grounds. In those days there were four or five priests working in the same parish, and living together in the chapel house. Anyway, every weekend, we would watch the youngest priest of the bunch while he climbed in through the kitchen window, obviously roaring drunk and way past the other priests' bedtime! It's fair to say he was a bit of boy!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Chrissie, I shall do my best to keep you updated. There is a petrol garage just around the corner (how handy) but it is probably packed from morn til night with Morris Travellers...

Mind you, the 'chaps' who own the abode are away til Weds, and although our lovely agent says he's sure we'll be all right, the crashing down around my ears sound still hasn't quite subsided since last week...

How do you get four elephants in a Morris Traveller?



You have to get the nuns out first.

Thank you, again, for your time.

Anonymous said...

Mr Blue Sky! Just appeared over Princes Risborough, Bucks!!!

Told you so!

DD out

Anonymous said...

Oh it's gone again!

DD out

Anonymous said...

hi. i've been lurking for ages but can't resist this .it,s just that hazel has to move into that house and observe the nuns. has to - you learn so much.....for example...a nunnery has 100 nuns and 1 head nun. head nun calls an emergency meeting and says.
"there was a man in the convent last night"
99 nuns say "oooohhhhhmigod!"
1 nun says "teeeeheeeeheeee"

head nun says "we found a condom in the garden"
99 nuns say "oooooohhhhhhmigod"
1 nun says "teeeheeeeeeheeeehee"

head nun says "the condom had a hole in it! "
99 nuns say "teeeeheeeeheee"....

no prizes for guessing what the 1 nun said........

i've waited ages for a chance to fit that one into a conversation!
mulbartonboy. alan

Anonymous said...

nice to see you mulbarton boy...was wondering where you'd gone...

je ne fait pas rein n'avec toi ici!

love
hazel
x

jollygit said...

Mornin' all

How about a OAMC meet at a golf club now that us laydeez can join in?!! I feel the last bastions falling, and all that!

My ex-hubby was a male chauvinist wotsit whose social life when living at home revolved around his local Working Men's Club where women were only allowed in if accompanied by their men ...... and they were supposed to feel honoured! Revenge is sweet etc, etc ...

Anyway, the sun's shining here and I've actually dragged out me sandals, so it must be summer!

jollygit xx

Jo said...

Morning everyone

Hope your days will be filled with sunshine and flowers :o)

Am trying to cheer myself out of having a headache today although I may have to resort to parrots eat em all later on......

Did some working from home yesterday with my new laptop, which I even managed to log into our home broadband via WI-Fi, who'd have thought that the Womens Institue were so technically minded? Unfortunately the screen is too reflective to be able to work in the sun so i had to retreat to the Sofa.

Mulbartonb boy, I like your joke, and the fact that it was in context is even better, who'd have thunk it

Catch y'all (MfR hope you are having a good time) later

:o) Jo
And the out laws came home yesterday so we are one dogged again, hurrah!

Anonymous said...

Why do my cats keep insisting on biting through my broadband wire?

It is getting really ann

Anonymous said...

Dear Cat Lover

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_west/6741167.stm

or for those of you watching in black and white

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales
/south_west/6741167.stm

Perhaps he doesn't want you to see this...

Can you imagine it running across a laminate floor? I bet he looks like Fred Flintstone bowling...

Anonymous said...

Morning!

Sorry I have been absent - very busy don't you know!

Canoeing - went twice - first time at an International Girl Guides camp in the Malvern Hills in 1985 (I think), loved it, but had such a bad fibreglass rash that I could only wear a PE skirt for the rest of the week! The second time was a work thingy - two per canoe (or was it a Kayak?). We paddled down the Severn to Bewdley and then got a steam train back to the car - lovely. Lots of silly giggling and girly gossip, so Moose, I imagine it was a great bonding session for you and Mooselet #1.

By coincidence, me and friend went to the National watersports Centre in Nottm Sunday to have a look at white water rafting. Rafting was off, but there was a big canoeing competition, so we watched that and then decided we would definitely do the rafting thing too!

Jo - Heartburn and backache has nothing whatsoever to do with age - it's your lovely bump! Sounds like you had fab hols when younger - my mum worked with horses, so me and my sister spent all our hols at stables - great!

Moose - well done for finishing your story. Unfortunately, I haven't written recently, but hope to get back to it again soon.

Oh - golf!!! Played nine holes on Sunday. Well, I tried! Only the second time I have even held a golf club, so I was pretty chuffed when I got 2 over par on one of the holes! Will go again - I really enjoyed it!

I'm at home today - awaiting delivery of new phone for teenager from hell. Will also be here tomorrow - the boiler's knackered - haven't had hot water for 2 weeks! Good job I have an electric shower,

S xx.

Anonymous said...

Sorry - here tomorrow, as Plumber is coming to suck his teeth and sigh and shake his head...

S xx.

P.S. If it's true, why don't atheists smell?

Anonymous said...

Our fileserver is down, so I am unable to work at the moment. Seems like an ideal time to post a comment. Something I would never have time to do, if the fileserver was working.

Jo - I may have missed this - did you get your new laptop from the Birthday Fairy? Not, for a moment, would I suggest that Mr Jo is a fairy!

Mulbartonboy - hiya - very good joke and I would imagine this has actually happened for real, nuns have their needs too!

Just thinking this morning about some of our missing bloggers: MWK hope your holiday was good, t - where ARE you?, EG and SusanS - hi to both of you, Amanda - hope you are feeling better. And anyone else I have forgotten to mention - get back here!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Hello all….Honestly, I’m really busy, had just enough time to scan comments, and I LOL at Mulholland Boy’s joke… then I had to get on with real work..but I’ve got this nagging question, which I have to ask, otherwise I won’t be able to settle.
M Boy..have you been lurking for weeks, just to be able to tell that nun joke..do you lurk around a number of blogs, just waiting for nuns?

OOer, got that off my ample bosom…Now I do have to get on
C H E E R I O, T A T A, O F F I G O – miss you lot loads, but busy, busy, busy!
Love Caroline x

Anonymous said...

Bl**dy B*ll*cks
I should have stayed with the work, of course I MEANT Mulbarton Boy
Dur, Dur, Dur

Jo said...

Morning Chrissie - I'd go homme if the server is down, you never know when you'll be able to work again!

Laptop was joined up present from everyone as I had lots of cheque enclosed types of Birthday Cards which is always well received!

(sneakily I bought it on the buy now pay never deal at Staples so I'll take the interest and pay off the rest later in the year!

:o) Jo

Anonymous said...

Cazza, I'm just glad that I may be moving to a flat opposite a convent...otherwise we can only wonder and speculate how much longer the lovely Mabaker (she taught her four sons) Boy would had to have been a-lurkin!

per mare per terram
love
hazel
x

ps ChrissieS, do you keep a list? I'm terrible Muriel, and only realise that people are missing when they come back!

pps Next OAMC. There is allegedly an official 'Naked Woman Horsewhipping Festival' being held on the Isle of Man. Not wishing to be sexist they have opened it to anyone with three legs.

Tickets are available from the corner shop priced two guineas.

(There will also be Maurice Dancing, candyfloss and a special appearance from Ms Coconut Shye.)

Chrissie, you better get your name down.

Thank you for your time.

pppps I like the one about the two nuns going back to the convent on their bicycles...but maybe it's a tad too early in the week for the Naughty Corner yet...

Qu'est vous fait ici?

Anonymous said...

Bl**dy B*ll*cks

Should've been another que

Woo ha ha ha ha ha etc

Anonymous said...

Jo,

Just asked the boss if I can go home - I quoted you personally - but he seems to think the server will recover at some point before 6pm! What a bounder and a cad!

Good move on buying your laptop. What's the point in Staples having these "get it now and keep your money" type deals, if we don't make the best of them? And I LOVE getting money/cheques in my birthday cards! Just so handy, don't you think?!

Caroline - good to hear from you - and regards to Mr Caroline.

C xx

Moose said...

Hazel - as long as the joke's nothing to do with missing saddles, I'll allow it on here!!

Anonymous said...

Ok Moose.

Sister Mary: "I've never come this way before..."

Sister Catherine: "Neither have I, it must be the cobbles."

There.

Nothing to do with saddles, but you just HAD to go there didn't you...

Anonymous said...

Morning all,
Currently cleaning keyboard of coffee splatters after misreading Hazel's Isle of Man comment!

Trust we are all well today!


I'm looking in at the blog this morning and I figure the Naughty Corner must be full, what with nun jokes, expletives deleted, and other goings on, did anyone ever replace the spiked water cooler from the other day? I swear that we may still have chilled vodka on tap!

DD out

PS I guess the polydactyl cat is at sixes and sevens.

PPS Don't go near Milton Keynes this morning, traffic probs on M1 means it is a bl**dy nightmare!

Moose said...

I bet you also know the one about the saddles thouh, don't you?

New post up, by the way!

Anonymous said...

Hazel,

The times I have won that naked horse-whipping festival - without number! And you wouldn't believe how many towns I have still to visit!

I don't have a list of bloggers, but I know our "regulars" and I like to stay in touch! Have also remembered JMcC and DWNB - where have they gone?!

Be back later - the fileserver is up and running!

C xx