To continue the bus driver/public transport theme, job proposals seem to have been extremely thin on the ground until this week when four of them have turned up all at once!
It's so nice to be wanted! My plan is to pursue all four of them as far as possible in the hope that I will find out more about all the opportunites and be able to make an informed decision on which one fits me best, if any. In terms of culture, I may simply have to choose whether Irish, stuffy English, down-to-earth English or Qatari suits me best. I like Guinness, didn't go to public school/Oxbridge, am trying to get rid of my builder's cleavage rather than being proud of it, and I don't really do temperatures over 18 degrees C without breaking into an embarrassing flood of sweat. Shame the Irish one is probably the least successful of the companies and the most likely longer term dead end for me.
Any competitive bidding between the relevant corporate giants on salary and package that might also happen is completely coincidental...
In case you were wondering, becoming a bus driver in Germany isn't one of the options.
Just in case my career (never forget that the Oxford English dictionary definition is "to swerve violently out of control") takes a sudden turn into politics, I wanted you all to be the first to know that I am in the Gordon Brown camp (oo-er) regarding cannabis smoking. Never been there, not got the t-shirt. I, unlike GB, am not satisfied to answer with a simple and emphatic no. I just have to go further to admit that I was always just too darn goody-goody and chicken to ever go there. Let's face it, I'm the moose that has only ever been drunk twice in my life and only one of those times so horribly that I threw up. I hate being out of control (and therefore outside my comfort zone) so much it's a state I avoid with the paranoia of Jeff Goldblum avoiding ultra-violet lights in a chip shop.
That makes me think about an alternative perspective on the character traits and principles of our politicians and their suitability for high office. Would we rather have boundary-pushing, brave renegades or staid, don't-let-me-out-of-my-comfort-zone wimps as our Prime Minister, Home Secretary, Chancellor etc?
And, maybe more importantly, are their 20-year-old youthful attitudes to illicit drugs really a good indicator of which camp (there I go again) they are in?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
68 comments:
Thank you Moose. That reminds me, eggs.
Bin bags
Loo roll
Rice
Bread
Milk
Cat fud
Cat litter
and EGGS!
Now I shall read your post.
Moose - good to see you. You ARE in demand! Very sensible, look at each opportunity carefully. You will know which is best because your inner voice will let you know. That, and the salary offered!
As for the cannabis debate - I have never tried it either, I was a scaredy-cat! However, I cannot believe that because one may have smoked cannabis a zillion years ago, means one is unfit for public office. Just nonsense - who they hell cares what politicians got up to when they were 22 or whatever!
Caroline - hello! Briefly!
Amanda - re: the thunder. When I was a wee girl my mum told me that thunder was God being angry and rain was God crying. No wonder I am a nutter! Also during any bad thunder storms, my mother was panic stricken. The noise reminded her of the bombs during World War Two (she was 18 when it started) and she never, ever recovered from it. Such a shame, she really did try but always said she could never describe how afraid she was.
On to other things - the bosses made it to London! Hurrah!
Be back soon.
C xx
If I were Jeff Goldblum I would avoid any sort of light quite honestly. But that's not for here.
Our lovely friend (who has recently dumped b1tch girlfriend) has a tele-video interview yesterday, and it looks as though he will be moving to Hoostun Texass from the end of August. This is a bit of a change from 'something may come up in the next few months' and all a bit sudden, and the badger is all at sixes and sevens. Anyhoo, it will be good for him after the time he's had lately, and he deserves a bit of a break, and apparently the place in which he is going to live, has a pool, so it can't be all bad!
But Moose...you are doing yourself down before you even start! Four opportunities. I wouldn't worry about never smoking dope. I have, and it made me throw up, and I won't have anyone smoking it around me. I know I smerk tabs 'n all, but puff makes me huff! I don't think the question regarding the intake of marywana is included on application forms, but you may have to take a drugs test. These days this usually consists of whether you can get the top off a child-proof bottle of paracetomol because the HR manager has a headache.
..and if you want camp, it's about time for an away-day to Brighton my friend!
love
hazel
x
ps Does a Qatari suit have a nehru collar?
Mince
Just a quick hello from me as I'm off to celebrate my Mum & Dads golden wedding anniversary with a lunch out at my favourite Italian restaurant San Giovannis (other spellings I'm sure are available) it's my favourite because the nice man that runs it calls me preeeetie layyydeee (just like on Allo Allo!) and always wants to know if I'm looking for boyfriend as he's looooking for garlfriend. It also serve delish nosh.
It's bucketing down with rain again here in Warwickshire but we will not be put off. I've had a caricature of the folks done by Susan S's recommended man in Troon who is brill!
Have a fab weekend everyone and remember....
If you can't be good... who cares?? You could always be a politician!
Luv
Lyndyloo
& the Bears
-x-x-x-x-
Lyndyloo, I take it that the convoy home happened safely then, and has your dad bought any new trousers in honour of today, and his lunchtime celebrations?
Have a fab time preeeeedie laydeeeeee, BIG GOLDEN LOVE to your folks...
love
hazel
x
Lyndyloo - I hope your mum & dad have the most wonderful time! I am sure your lunch will be lovely -such a special day that's for sure!
C xx
It's been said here before but ... Memo to self. Remember to press the Refresh button. Thought it was quiet.
Moose - go with your instinct about the jobs (but bear in mind that a good salary does help!
Lyndyloo - have a fab time with your folks. My mum and dad celebrate their 50th anniversary in October so any tips on how to celebrate in style will be gratefully received.
Back later
Oh, and I've never smoked cannabis. Never even smoked a normal cigarette either. But don't mention drink - I've had plenty of that in the past! Not any more though - it makes me wheeze so I'm sticking to chocolate as my one (not so) small vice.
Good luck with finding the happy medium Moose - I don't envy you that at all! Am sure it will all come right in the end! You made the right decision about bus driving at least!
Re cannabis - yes I did at college and yes I did enjoy it - then I looked at those around me who were falling deeper and deeper into it and stopped - would I again - no way! Would I be mad if my children experimented - yes I would probably but thats what mums are for!
Lyndyloo - warmest congrats to your parents, mine are 2 years away from their's, my hubby's celebrated their's in June. Hubby and me only hope we can go some way to following in their footsteps - a long way to go yet as we are only at 9 in November!
Have a good weekend everyone.
A x
What an afternoon! I've actually had to WORK!
Questions will be asked in the House, let me tell you.
Have a great weekend, thanks for this week, it's great to stay in touch with everyone.
See you Monday.
C xx
Thanks for all the well wishes for my folks! We had a lovely afternoon. Dad had lobster (which he's always wanted but never tried) and has now decided that it should become part of his dietry requirements much to the horror of my Mum who can't afford to feed his scallop fetish as it is. My big Bro and his wifey came over as well which was lovely and a couple of Mum's freinds came too. We had a bottle of pink bubbly and were pampered by all the staff all afternoon. And what's more I appear to have accepted an invitation for a date with the adorable man who has convinced me that he does actually want a garlfriend and he doesn't flirt outrageously with all the girls who come into his restaurant (not that I really beleive that)he only does to me. Well we can all live in la la land some of the time now can't we?
Have a fab weekend everyone!
Luv
Lyndyloo
& the Bears
& the new Harry Potter book
-x-x-x-x-
For anyone that cares to have a look. I've just re-launched my web site for the project www.portstgeorge.com and all comments would be welcome.
I thank you
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Chrissie - thank you for asking! I've been off work all week, save for one day, but am still full of cold. It's hardly serious but with the weather being so muggy, trying to breathe is proving even more difficult. I have a cough which would scare an Alsation dog, and I've lost at least two layers of skin orft me nose, so you can imagine just how gawjus I'm looking right now!!! Lovely of you to ask tho ...
'Im indoors was due to go to the West Midlands today to see his mum who's had surgery recently, but she rang at 8.00am today to say don't even think abart it. The M5 was closed, the M40 was in a terrible state, leaving very few ways in to where she lives .... so, we have an unexpectedly quiet weekend and I'm just wafting abart.
Have a good weekend one and all and I'll be back with you y'all on Monday.
Annalog - my mum also used to say that thunder was God moving his furniture about! That's fine but I wish he'd stop watering his garden!
jollygit xx
Good Monday Morning to all Bloggers!
Well, it's a beautiful morning here in Glasgow - what IS going on with the weather?!
We had a really good weekend - just pottering about the house. Helped Ms S clear out her wardrobe and drawers - bag of stuff for Oxfam, bag of stuff for a friend who's the same size and THREE huge black bin bags of rubbish! Watched hours and hours of golf. Still unsure what a birdie is!
Lyndyloo - your Mr Italy sounds very nice! It may be La La Land or it could be for real. Either way, have fun!
Jollygit - hopefully you are really on the mend now. I hate it when people say to you "it's only a cold you have" - colds are horrendous!
Mary - we are all thinking of you. Hopefully you will be home by now!
Just to let you know - Mr S's leg appears to be healing - that's four weeks it has taken! The district nurse said to him this morning that she had never seen an injury like it!
Have a good day everyone. See you later.
C xx
Chrissie - morning petal! Glad you had a pottering weekend. We chilled out too, for which I was grateful. We've got a funfair on the seafront at the moment, but I didn't feel well enough to go until Sat evening when we watched the fireworks. Mind you, a couple of goes on The Terminator spinning up, down and all around might have sorted out me sinus problem!!!!
Hope everyone had a good weekend and that this week is a good one for us all.
Glad Mr S's leg is getting better xx
jollygit
Hello folks
Hope you are all OK and not too damp. I've just been sent the following - it's just the sort of thing to raise a smile on a dull and depressing day.
1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)
2) Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole Salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)
3) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)
4) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)
5) At the height of the gale, the harbour master radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)
6) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'" (Bournemouth Evening Echo)
Back later
Analog - very funny! And yes, you have managed to make me smile, but I am so reluctant to confirm that it is still the most glorious day here! I know this is pathetic in the extreme, but I keep thinking of all the washing I have to do which would be hanging outside right now, if only I were at home!
Yes, I know, pathetic!
C xx
Analog great funnies!
It's not raining in my little bit of the country but it's not sunny neither(which is a shame). My eldest bear has been for her monthly injection today and I picked her up some more pain killers and some food £120!!! good greif! It's a good job I love her so much I can tell you.
Mange tout
Luv
Lyndyloo
& some very expensive bears
-x-x-x-
Chrissie there's nothing pathetic about getting your washing dry! I took great pleasure in getting 3 loads dry in sunny West Wiltshire yesterday (and it always smells so nice fresh off the washing line).
Today however, is a different matter - rain going sideways past the window and even the ducks on the lake have disappeared under cover.
Firstly, hallo everyone.
Secondly, Mr S, I hope you're keeping it up, on a cushion.
Thirdly, it would appear I have broken the dryer bit of the washer/dryer in our new flat. I do not know how. It did work, and although I am doing all the right things, it has now ceased to work. It came with the flat, as did the instruction book, and I have scoured both the trouble-shooting AND the pages containing the drying instructions. To no avail. I have luke warm damp bath tiles, I have damp clothes and not only but also, now a slightly damp flat. There is no where artside to dry stuff, not even on a clothes horse...we have das Bewohnervereinigung who would soon start putting up notices in the entrance halls...
Fourthly, ChrissieS, a birdie is something that flies out of the way when there is a golf ball hurtling towards it. Cameramen sometimes follow them across the sky in the vain hope they may land on the 'green'. Whatever a 'green' is.
Fifthly, lyndyloo, I shouldn't think you know yourself! A trip to the v-e-t AND the new Harry Potter! Glad Bears are well, and lookatchoo! Goin' all Eye-talian...mia cara!
Sixthly, analog, forwarded to my ushool suspects (and my mum, you do appreciate there are some that I can't send my mum..?) favourite is No.4.
Seventhly,
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6906414.stm
Could there be a 'Moose Doble'?
...and finally...
Thank you for your time
later
pertater
love
hazel
x
ps Jollygit, there's plenny more snotte where that came from! (That's the same as bogies only posher...)
Analog - thank you for confirming that I am not wrong to want my washing dried. I just feel so guilty compared to all the poor souls who will never get their HOUSES dried, let alone a load of washing!
Hazel, can you get one of the clothes-horse-type-things that sit on top of the bath? Quite effective, if a little slow. I borrowed a clothes horse from my sister in 1986. I figure if she hasn't missed it in all this time, I can hang on to it for a little longer. You must tell your landlord that the dryer doesn't work. You do that, and I'll tell my landlord that our oven is on the blink - I put a piece of roast beef in the oven yesterday at 2.30 so we could eat early and watch the rest of the golf. I think the meat was ready just in time for Heartbeat. That can't be right, surely?
Also, Hazel, I had a look at the link but I'm sorry, I appear to have missed something re: Moose. If you get the time, please explain!
Jollygit and Hazel - thank you for your good wishes to Mr S. He will be (secretly) pleased as he always is, when I tell him some of the "blog chat" every now and then!
C xx
ChrissieS, you are doing nothing but making me laugh today. I'm thinking of Mr S with it on a cushion, and CtD fluffing Mr Diva, and it's only Monday.
I do find it a lot more economical to buy a season ticket to the Naughty Corner I have to say...
The virus was called 'Elk Cloner'...my mind just skittered towards a Moose Doble (as in paso, and not sage and onion)...thassall...
Rent is due (again how can it come around so soon) on Saturday, so I shall tell the LL about the dryer then. I have called in International Badger Rescue, but he'll probably do more harm than good, or do all the things I've been doing, and the thing'll blimmin well work for him...in which case I shall smile sweetly while he is teaching me how to suck eggs, and then dye his remaining boxer shorts pink.
Yaris
You can't be too careful
love
hazel
x
Over the bath! I can't have a line thingamajig coz of tiles and shower and fan thing, but there is NO reason why I can't put the drying over the bath. I may be bleach, I may be truly blonde, but it don't matter what the hair, I am truly dense.
Over the blimmin bath. Thank you.
Oh, and another one for NC1...over the bath...he he he he heh heh heh...
ps Chrissie, re the beef. If it was Scotch Beef, you'll never get it to cook properly! It'll burn, then complain that it's too hot, drink too much sangria, and spend the rest of the fortnight rubbing in lotion, throwing up, complaining, and looking forward to going home again.
I don't know about Scotch beef but what about this ...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/north_east/6907994.stm
Hazel - I LOVE how your mind works! I couldn't have worked out that Elk Cloner stuff to save my life! And over the bath ..... you know what I mean! Really, you're way ahead of me!
Get what you mean about Scotch beef. This must mean Mr S has been living a lie. That man will lie in the sun hour after hour, takes a fantastic tan (even though in another lifetime he was blonde) and faithfully drinks water (it's always me ordering the sangria). More questions to be asked about our relationship.
Analog - I tried the link and can't get it to connect, but I will try again soon!
C xx
ChrissieS - you should be proud...this is something one of my exes used to say...
"And over the bath ..... you know what I mean! Really, you're way ahead of me!"
Takes me back that does.
Right back.
That's how I did my shoulder in.
But that's not for here.
Good morning Moose!
Now then, I have letters to write, places to see, people to do, Juanetta to follow around to make sure she hoovers (other vacuum devices available) under the Chaise Longue, and Juan and HoseB just to follow...
It sometimes just don't get no better...
amoire
love
hazel
x
ps analog, neither could I. Page 404 error or sunnink...
Sorry the link didn't work. Wasn't that exciting anyway, just about a shoplifting seagull in Aberdeen thats taken to wandering into a newsagents by the quay where he pinches a bag of Cheese Doritos then takes them outside to share with his mates ... He only takes cheese ones apparently.
Sun is shining and the sky is blue. Hope its the same where you are.
Hazel - I rest my case!
Analog - still didn't get to see the link, but I know the story you are talking about, would you believe it was in the Daily Record! I thought it was quite cute. Seagulls are fairly terrifying when they want food, but nothing compared to a swan we saw when we were at the Lake District years ago. Everyone was sitting by the water's edge, loving the view, swans walking around but no problems. A young couple arrived and she had a bag of chips. This absolute monster of a swan appeared from nowhere, waddled over to her and promptly stole the entire bag out of her hands! Mayhem from the other swans fighting over the chips - thus endeth the peaceful afternoon - we all just quietly departed!
Just a wee story for a Tuesday!
C xx
Flipping heck ChrissieS, I wonder if 'twas the same swan wot broke my mate's arm!
Probably not as we were 'croozing' the Norfolk Broads (other broads available, usually in black and white American films) and had moored by a lovely pub for lunch. The swan was wandering round the garden, espied my friens's arm just kinda hanging from his shoulder as arms are wont to do, and bit him. End of. No pre-amble, no provocation, just an ambulance and small children screaming...they can be right b@stards, swans can.
That seagull though. Cheese doritos. Gopping muck. He can have mine if he wants.
...and ChrissieS, Paxman made a total balls of saying good bye last night, however the Badger was delighted that he answered quite a lot of the questions, so it wasn't all bad...
Thank you for your time.
PS have turned radio to '1'. I figure this is possibly a mika free zone.
Hazel - poor Jeremy! It's not like him to make mistakes - especially when he's always so tough on the contestants: "Mozart?! Vivaldi, SURELY?" The most I have ever scored in one episode is three points. Damn good going, even if I say so myself!
Be still my good friend, Mika will not be with us for much longer! Let's face it, he's ruddy awful. Who on earth would buy that latest drivel? I understand you moving over to the other side, but Radio 1 would just do my head in - I'm at the age where I'm heading for Radio 4. Well, the Shipping Forecast is a must these days!
C xx
Blimmin wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Not even very very wrong indeed. Just wrong. Jo Whiley has just let the side down BIG STYLE. She didn't even play his NEW single. Am severly disappointed in R1 and may have to write to my MP.
Things can only get better.
I'm tellin' yer - Radio 4!!
C xx
Good morning my lovely blogger brothers and sisters!!!
Congrats of the four oppertunities, Moose!!! You deserve nothing but the best .... even if that does take you away from us to foreign shores!!! You will know which is the right one as you get further into the ins and outs of each job!
Have to say I've never tried any drugs .... too scary!!! Here's hoping that Charis will feel the same way when she's older!
Right, can't hang around - the sun is shining and I want to Charis to the beach (we are still down at my folks in Oban). I'm really struggling - I so want to live here now!!! Check out the Argyll set in the link below and you'll see why I miss the place!
Will be back later to catch up with everyone!
Huggles all round,
Susan <><
http://www.flickr.com/photos/citril/sets/
SusanS, have emailed you, but forgot the latest rugby scores.
Trojans 17 - 19 Mysterons
Argonauts 3 - 13 Romans
Susan S, good to hear from you today!
Hope you have a fab day at the beach - you are so lucky, I am stuck in here moving paper about, trying to look busy!
I know you are desperate to move back to Oban and I hope you will find a way to do this. It's awful when we have to live somewhere and we're only there physically, when our heart and soul is in another place.
In the meantime, get your Factor 50 on!!
C xx
Morning all!
Sorry for my absence yesterday, it is dreadful when work gets in the way sometimes!
Lyndyloo - glad the bears are ok, they are lucky to have you as their mum! Good luck with the date!
Analog - loved the funnies!
Chrissie - Glad Mr S is on the mend finally.
Jollygit - hope you are much better this week.
Moose - hope you are OK and the search for the perfect employment is progressing well.
Susan - Argyll looks beautiful and I can understand why you would like to relocate there. Take care of yourself, hugs to you all.
Hazel - have you really been in the flat for a month? That time has flown by - hope your dryer is soon fixed. As for the bath, well what can I say!
Keith - hope you are OK
Well, dare I say it but the sun is out today and it is fairly warm! After I purchased wellington boots and waterproofs for the whole family at the weekend in preparation for the 'Summer' holiday in Dorset!
Will leave you with a joke about train tickets:
Three women and three men are travelling by train to the Football Grand Final.
At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.
'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asks one of the men.
'Watch and learn,' answers one of the women.
They all board the train.The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, 'Ticket, please.'
The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.
The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.
When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket at all!!
'How are you going to travel without a ticket?'says one perplexed man.
'Watch and learn,'answer the women.
When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way .
Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding.
The woman knocks on their door and says, 'Ticket, please.'
A x
Morning all.
Suffering an aching back after 2 dyas of gardening. But my ditch is now cleared of weeds, half the hedgerow from the side of the drive has gone and my compost heap is overflowing back into my garden. Have been trying to destroy a wasps nest in the ground too, so far not successfully but the little b@ggers will not win...
Seagulls and food don't mix. Unless the food concerned is bread with bicarb of soda mixed into it. Must go now and eat some cherries.
Amanda - good to hear from you - I agree it's really not on that work gets in the way of our talking!
Moose - we have missed you! Hope you are not overdoing the old gardening. Look after your back, always bend at the knees! (oo-er). Hope you manage to dispose of the wasps - I can't stand those little blighters!
C xx
Hello everyone!
The sun seems to have found it's way out from behind the clouds so as I'm working from my home office today I've been busy with the clothes line.... (no offence HL) but it's true, the clothes dried on the washing line are so much fresher than in the tumble or on the rads.
I've finished me Potter book and am happy with the conclusion though I have to say JK's got more and more violent considering tehy're supposed to be kiddies books. At least it took me into a fantasy world for a while and stopped me fretting about Mum & Dad.
Engorgio!
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Ooh, forgot to say - Mary I hope you are recovering well and everything is going to plan. Take care and hope we hear from you again soon.
A x
Good after noon all,
I can report hat I am indeed fine and dandy (not in gay sort of way) and my wounds are well on the mend now. Thanks to those who have asked :-)
Hazel, cute is not a word I would consider using when discussing seagulls! I think of them as the rats of the sky’s.
Thanks moose, note to self get home and do some gardening. :-( I hope the back recovers soon. Manual labor is not something I get enough practice at so I too feel the pain in my joints.
Keep smiling
Keith the BIgUn
xx
A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot
The doctor comes in and says "Ah, I see you have regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. Now you're going to be OK, you'll walk again, but something happened. I am trying to break this gently but your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to fine it."
Now the bloke groans a bit but the doctor goes on "But it is going to be alright, we have the technology now to build you anew one that will work as well as your old one did, better in fact. But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It is a thousand pounds an inch". The bloke perks up at this, even though it is a thousand pound an inch.
"So the thing is" the doctor says, "it is for you to decide how many inches you want. But it is something you had better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before and you decide to go for a nine incher she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time she might be disappointed. So it is important that she plays a final role in helping you make the decision."
So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife and the doctor comes back the next day.
"So"says the doctor "Have you spoken with your wife?"
"I have". Says the fellow.
"And has she helped you in making the decision?"
"She has" says the bloke.
"And what is it?" asks the doctor.
"We're having a new kitchen.
Amanda, FAB joke! Have sent to all who may appreciate it, and yet another suitable for mother!
Big'un, FAB joke! The guys liked it too. They asked whether I would prefer a new kitchen, but declined to answer on the grounds that I may incriminate myself.
I nearly wrote myelf then, but my elf only has about a millimetre, so I don't know how much that would cost in the event of a replacement being necessary.
Keith, am SOOOOOOOO glad you are ok. Just because I can I'm sending you GIANT HUGS and KISSES.
MWK, you'll be guid as new soon hen!
Moose! The re-emergence from the depths of the Jardin de Bambi, needing cherries. Concerns me a little I have to say...look after that back my lad! Please make sure you keep a written record of how far you spit your pips too.
...and regarding the question of seagulls. I think they are truly vile and should be quite near the front of the queue to be up against the wall come the revolution...I am reliably informed that Alka Seltzer also provides a fairly spectacular explosion. Sometimes it is useful working with boys.
Although sometimes they are no fun. I am currently not allowed to have 'The Professionals' as my ring tone.
In the meantime, I'm still convinced there are things running up my legs.
bugs or similar
love
hazel
x
Sometimes I think Mrs Moose wishes that I, like seagulls, did not possess the ability to expel surplus gas from either end of the alimentary canal. But then I guess that wish would be common to most women about most men...
With the price of kitchens these days I worry that the lady in Keith's joke doesn't really know what she'd be missing out on.
Currently supervising 3 playing boys and fighting the desire to sleep. Do you think I'd get told off if found asleep in my garden hammock with the house having undergone a "makeover" of the riotous kind?
Only me,
Why thank you for the hugs and kisses (especially GIANT ones) ;-) always received and reciprocated :-)))
I did forget and I do not know why to wish Mary well in her recovery!
Chrissie, I do hope MrS’s leg is on the mend. I can recommend a stocking (a man on obviously) as they help the circulation which will aid the healing process. I do sympathies as my leg took an age to get better.
Later…
Keith the BigUn
xx
Oh, some more Cluedo!
Hoorah!
Moose, in the Hammock, with a make-over.
Mr S, in the Stocking, with a cushion.
Keith, in the Kitchen, with a ten inch
Keith - good to hear from you! This day is getting better and better! Glad to hear you are on the mend, but it's just not that simple is it - you've had to go through the healing process.
Your joke is very, very good. And it disturbs me a little to say it, probably accurate!. Nooooo, surely not!
Now, I've been having a wee "look-see" through some of the old blogs and wouldn't it be great if we could hear from DWNB, Mwa!, t and Dr McCrumble. Also, just want to say hello to EG, Anna, MfR, Gaby and DD. MWK - you have an excuse - hope you are feeling better and Jo, we know you are on holiday, but really, is that an excuse?
I really must do some work now!
C xx
I was going to put spanner!
I was!!!!!!!!!!!
Am now having paddy. (other tantrums available)
Am sitting in corner of Naughty Corner with my vest over my knees and pouting at the injustice of it all.
I was going to put SPANNER.
HL - yes, of course you were ..... mind you, a spell in the Naughty Corner won't hurt - now you can be really naughty tomorrow!!
Amanda - thank you xxxx
Mary - get well wishes and hugs winging their way to you xx
Moose - do you need a rub down with some ointment? Budge up Hazel ....
It's been sunny all day today - hoorah!
See y'all tomorrow
jollygit xx
Today's good news.
The Washer/Dryer at the new Sett is now fully functioning...and just to show you what happened, I take you back to yesterday...
"I have called in International Badger Rescue, but he'll probably do more harm than good, or do all the things I've been doing, and the thing'll blimmin well work for him...in which case I shall smile sweetly while he is teaching me how to suck eggs, and then dye his remaining boxer shorts pink."
He may escape the boxer shorts punishment however as he is being really sweet at the moment, although I expect he will show me how to hoover properly, when I get home...have I told you that one?
Anyhoo
buenos buenos
love
hazel
x
Never got my snooze. The coffee kicked in, I checked my e-mail to get a rude awakening that I have a meeting tonight that I'd forgotten about and I got a call from one of the headhunters. Completely awake now and ready to make food for the kids...maybe I'll get a snooze in the meeting.
Have I missed something? What's with Alka Seltzer and seagulls? Is this something best not investigated too closely or is it a useful deterrent? We are plagued by the bl**dy things round here and not even by the sea.
Bonjour from France
Popping in to say hi and that I hope you all are still dry and stuff...
Geeky Brother in law has set up some sort of wireless connection from my dads laptop so here I am!
Back at work on Monday so I expect I'll be back full time then as it is the 4 week wind down!
:o) Jo (who is amazed that the french do pasteurised camembert!!!)
PS. In France instead of anonymous says....
it says: anonymous a dit
Thought you would like to know!
:o) Jo
Bonjour mon ami au-dessus La Manche! Comment sava?
Anyhoo,
Jo, can I BEG you PLEASE, if you see a tub of runny camembert, which may be of wot you dire, PLEASE can you buy some...it would make the Badger's year...of course it may not even exist...
Other News
The Washer/Dryer was not working. I should have been more specific when describing the non-function. It goes through the motions, but doesn't heat up. A whole 90mins of damp washing going round and round and getting a bit warm. There are only certain things that should be damp and warm, and washing isn't one of them. I am not putting too heavy a load in or anything. I have followed the struktions to the LETTER you understand...
analog, you have to ask boys that sort of thing. Any one over the age of eight up to about sixty. If you wrap bicarbonate of soda or an alka seltzer (or part thereof) in a piece of bread (or foodstuff of you choice) and feed it to a seagull, and as it is digested and starts fizzing, the seagull will explode. Apparently if you use fresh yeast, the effect is more prolonged.
These would be the same boys who inflate frogs with bicycle pumps, and throw worms at you.
I trust this information is of some value to you. It is not something that I have ever done, but I have had worms thrown at me.
No Badgers were harmed during the making of this feature.
Thank you for your time.
Moose, hope the back is feeling betterer today!
Morning everyone! The sun's still shining here ..... for the moment anyway.
HL - glad the washer/dryer is fully with it again ..... still can't get the image of a badger in pink boxers out of me mind!
Jo - bonjour! Lovely to hear from you and I hope you're enjoying your vacance en France. Enjoy the rest of your break xx
Analog - the seagulls down here in Kent are the size of small dogs and if they want to stop for a chat/peck in the middle of the road, then there's no shifting them. The council might as well put 'em on the payroll and get them to do something useful like direct the traffic ....
jollygit xx
Jo - how lovely to hear from you! I'm very impressed that you heard my plea!
On my way for the train last night, I passed two young guys busking. They were singing a Bob Dylan classic "everyone must get stoned" and it made me think about one of my lovely brothers, he died in 2001. How he loved Bob Dylan. Anyway, I'm almost at the station when I thought, I just have to back and give them money! I know this sounds ridiculous, but my brother was saying to me "give those guys a couple of quid" so I did. I'm telling you, it's quite a responsibility fulfilling the wishes of your dead family!
Hazel - isn't your Badger a star?! It's great when our other half helps out with the domestic side of life!
It's Wednesday already! Still haven't even looked at the enormous pile of paperwork that was put on my desk on Monday!
Be back later.
C xx
Possibly by now you may have read that my delight in the fixed appliance was mis-placed.
So that means sheets everywhere when I get home. That's if it's occurred to him to take the stuff out of the machine. He is probably still walking around the next load which has been on the floor since before I got home yesterday.
And making toast crumbs.
ChrissieS, I loves me Badger VERY VERY MUCH, and to me he is a star. But the day he gets a gold one for housework is a long lo-ho HONG way off yet! Anyhoo, as he informed me (yet again) last night, that he's a Fixer, not a Sparks or a Plumber, so he wouldn't have been able to mend it anyway. He is informing the agent on Saturday as previously discussed...so I trust you will be doing the same with your oven?
Good.
Then I'll begin
love
hazel
x
...but he has just telephoned to inform me that the cat who went out at 0740 has returned home safely...he thought I'd be worried, but I knew, with a Badger in charge it would all be ok. He tells me that he deliberately didn't go to the window to see where Colin was, but did keep whistling occasionally. He is now a fully qualified Cat Trainer. I hand over my crown.
Hazel - you have reminded me about the oven! Haven't used it since Sunday - forgot all about it. I will make the call today and would imagine we'll be lucky if this is attended to in time for the Christmas turkey being cooked!
And - we have a friend coming over for dinner on Saturday. I will just have to grill steaks - which usually I'm quite good at, but this is my friend who could teach Gordon Ramsay a thing or two about cooking (and swearing!). So of course, I will burn the steaks! May as well start grilling them now!
I hate entertaining! Have I said this before?!
C xx
And now for a completely un-PC joke:
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, as their family member lay gravely ill.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"
The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.
A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,
"Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled with childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used."
A x
Amanda, are you allowed to have the option of choosing a kitchen?
...and for those of you watching in black and white...I have just seen a seagull giving a lift to an elderly yorkshire terrier.
No, really. It had a bow on and a harness and everything. The dog, that is, and is too old to cross the road on it's own, and the seagull was carrying some kind of lollipop stick. Although generally it is best to stop if a seagull is crossing the road because unless it has recently ingested alka seltzer, your car is more likely to explode, if you hit it.
Now I have to go and have some tablets. My nurse has that look on her face and I think she may be switching this off in a minute.
However, Dunkin at 1210? Time for quick loo and kettle on first eh...
I've found some ginger nuts and am ready for a dunk xx
jollygit
Only me. I have my tea and yet another Twix finger. They keep shouting out to me - I've tried to ignore them, but they are REALLY loud!
I won't dunk though - don't like my chocolate melted!
C xx
Busy dunking and reading at the same time here (See men can multi-task). Only because I've been is a bo ho hooring meeting all morning and have to return to it in oh ten minutes. Dunking my sandwiches in a cup of soup to speed up the process. It's been a week of travelling and meetings thus far, so see you all next week
DD out
Missed the dunk in (and most of this morning) as I'm timing tests for interview candidates. However, am now noshing Marmite sarnies between "victims". Can't dunk them as they won't fit through the hole in the top of my coke can.
Hazel thanks for filling me in about the exploding gulls. Don't think I'll try it myself.
Fantastic Jezza Vine
From Niagara to the Norfolk Broads (No Swans)
Mickey Mouse grew up a cow!
DD out
Am currently enjoying a toasted marmite and flame grilled steak crisp sandwich.
I had to take the Badgermobile back to International Badger Rescue HQ, in order that the badger can use it this afternoon.
The chaps that were out, phoned the office to see if I wanted any food, and was told that I'd gorn art for lunch. So, they brought nothing. Which is what I'd had. Hence the sandwich. Which isn't that bad, but it isn't Eddy's Burger and Chips (possibly the BEST burgers and chips in the world) is it.
Still, there is a small amount of poetic justice. They got chilli sauce on theirs, and are now complaining of pain. Wait til later I say...and they'd have probably forgotten my chilli allergy, so I wouldn't have been able to eat it anyway...sooooo...as previously mentioned, am currently enjoying a toasted marmite and flame grilled steak crisp sandwich.
Which isn't actually THAT bad.
ChrissieS, have just read your list next door. Am horrified that you would have to abstain from PIB's with Christmas Dinner!
Now a cold toasted marmite and flame grilled steak crisp sandwich.
You could almost say chilly.
love
hazel
x
Hazel - I know! No PIB's! Well, maybe just one. But there may be hell to pay. I remember my lovely, wee sweetheart, mother saying to me "I like cucumber, but it doesn't like me". I thought she was quite mad. Well, it's all come back to haunt me - the list of no-no's grows daily! However, I am still able to consume the occasional glass of white wine - a girl has to get a break sometimes!
Also - when did you get the new Badgermobile? Well done - so glad you don't have to endure any more public transport.
DD - nice to see you! Wouldn't it be a complete laugh if there WAS life on Mars?
C xx
No no no no no ChrissieS, this is STRICTLY the MR Badgermobile. Mrs Badger is only permitted to drive this under EXTREME conditions. I will probably not be with car for another good cuppla weeks yet...He's back to work tomorrow so I'll be back to the good ole Public Transport and lifts.
Rest assured, just as soon as I'm back on the road, you will probably be the first (apart from me, him and the cats) to know!
I think maybe a Renault Megane?
Post a Comment