Friday, 25 July 2008


That's where I've been...on walkabout.
I'm amazed you guys have kept going all this time...but then I did have a quick peek on the CLP blog and am not totally surprised that some need to find some refuge...
Is it me, or did a storm in a teacup suddenly turn into world war 3? I guess hindsight is a wonderful thing for giving some calmer perspective.

Life goes on, madly busy at work and still flying around the place all the time. Am in Germany for the weekend and therefore I have the first time to sit and surf for weeks and months. Am off to Cornwall next week on Wednesday (for the Mrs Moose and Mooselet #2 double bill birthday) and they are all there already - not worth an extra weekend trip to come back for 2 days. Am playing golf tomorrow with a colleague...forecast is 35 degrees so I must just take a hat and some sun cream. Unlike last time when I frazzled myself.

Have had a coaching session at work. Good guy, really challenged me on a real sore point for me.
I am looking forward to working with him some more...

I will probably not be back for a while. After the Cornwall trip I'm back in Germany for a week then we're off on our proper hols for another 2 weeks.
Keep up the good work...I'm very proud of you all! See you in September...


jollygit said...

Moose, it's just lovely to hear from you, no matter how long it's been. You sound very happy, that's the main thing, and long may it continue.

I don't tend to contribute on CE's blog these days - I don't have time these days to read all the entries for a start!! The new technology over there now means that no sooner have you managed to post something, another twenty posts appear - I've got no chance of keeping up! Still, I do read it every day and manage to get the gist of it. It did get quite heated for a while though!

Anyhoo, I hope you have a wonderful time with Mrs Moose and the Mooselets in Cornwall. We've just had a week at home, which was lovely - the weather was glorious and we over-indulged on almost everything!

Hope everyone is OK.

jollygit xx

Amanda said...

Yaaaaaayyyyyy, the Moose is back in da house, whoop, whoop!!!! Glad you are safe and well.

Enjoy your holidays and we'll hear from you when you're back!

Just a quick one today, will catch up later on in the week.

A x

Jo said...

Hey everyone - greetings from a trashed living room :o)

The Boy is growing ever bigger and keeping me properly on my toes these days.....he got a knack for pole dancing whilst on holiday and was often seen swivelling round the umbrella or tent poles - like mother like son I say!

BIG NEWS...I got me a job! back to work around the 1st of September so expect more from me starting about the 8th!!

Other than that - you'll not be surprised to know that my old work people are still d**king me about not paying me owed holiday - however, after chasing it up quite a lot they've miscalculated and are going to overpay me by about 8 days, thought I'd keep quiet about it though....karma's a bitch isn't it!!

JG - am with you on the CE confusing these days.

:o) Jo

Amanda said...

Well done Jo - on the job and back payment front! You go girl!

Glad toddlin' Jo doing so well - lovely to hear, that and the fact you've taken up pole dancing again - LOL!

You wait for another few years and he'll well and truly run rings round you! Speaking from experience! Probably wind you round his little finger too! Mine do, or try to!

Me too, much prefer the gentler pace here than on CE Blog, try to keep up with everyone but it's not always possible. Lots of back biting and unnecessary comments as well. Not sure why they bother responding to the inflammatory comments really 'cos it just stirs up a hornets nest. A shame but I guess that's why we all came here in the first place.

Hope you are all having reasonable weather. I must admit it is lovely here today after some overnight storms.

A x

Chrissie S said...

Hi Moose and everyone:

Sorry I have been away for so long - I have missed all of you!

Just to catch up since I went on holiday:

Moose: Great to see you back. It's great that things are going so well for you!

Keith, I'm thinking of you. It must be very difficult just waiting for news. You are sounding on great form though - and your weight loss is incredible! xx

Lyndyloo: well done on the Race! You and your mum must have been elated at the end of it.

Mary and Analog: good to see you both back for a "quickie" ooo-er!

Jollygit: yes, the CE blog is really hard work. If I have something to say, I try to comment as soon as Chris's blog appears, before the onslaught!

Amanda: I really did have a wee tear in my eye reading your story of surprising your littlest boy on his birthday! And how wonderful #1son behaved beautifully!

Jo - fabulous to hear your news - well done on the new job! And by the sound of things, George is well and truly in charge!!

I made a wee note of everyone as I was reading through - so hello to DD, dancerjen and Susan!

Hope everyone is ok. I don't really have a lot of news - our holiday was lovely, but it is a DISTANT memory!!

C xx

jollygit said...

Good to see everyone!

Thought this might make you smile as we approach hump day (ahem):

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?" The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot."

The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand; put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

"Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me how do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"

The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.

jollygit xx

Moose said...


An 83 year old guy goes to the doctor.
"I'd like to know if I'm going to live another 10 years..." he asks.
"Do you smoke?" asks the doctor.
"Do you drink?"
"Do you sleep around?"

"Then why do you want to live another 10 years?"

jollygit said...

Hmm, there seems to be a theme here!!

jollygit xx

Amanda said...

Morning all!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,
'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick?
That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'
The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick,we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'

Definitely a theme!
A x

jollygit said...

Amanda - excellent!! Here's another one for you.

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab - things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: "There's more... he had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

Passenger. "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too -- he was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. I just married his ******* widow."

jollygit xx

Chrissie S said...

Just to say: loving the jokes!

C xx

Amanda said...

Jollygit - LOL!!!

Here's another (Chrissie, I know you have seen this one!)

Ian works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Ian! How ya doin?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Ian. 'He's in my bowling league.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Ian if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'

'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Ian, starts to rub herself all over him and says,

'Hi Ian. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Ian's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Ian follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Ian tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it ..

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Ian, you picked up a real bitch this time.'

Ian's funeral will be on Friday.

jollygit said...

Dear Employees

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

Therefore, a list of 13 new and innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1. Try Saying:

I think you could do with more training

Instead Of:

You don't have a ****ing clue, do you?

2. Try Saying:

She's an aggressive go-getter.

Instead Of:

She's a ****ing power-crazy b*tch

3. Try Saying:

Perhaps I can work late

Instead Of:

And when the **** do you expect me to do this?

4. Try Saying:

I'm certain that isn't feasible

Instead Of:

**** off a**e-hole


Try Saying: Really?

Instead Of:

Well **** me backwards with a telegraph pole

6. Try Saying:

Perhaps you should check with...

Instead Of:

Tell someone who gives a ****.

7. Try Saying:

I wasn't involved in the project.

Instead Of:

Not my ****ing problem.

8. Try Saying:

That's interesting.

Instead Of:

What the ****?

9. Try Saying:

I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.

Instead Of:

No ****ing chance mate.

10. Try Saying:

It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in

Instead Of:

Why the **** didn't you tell me that yesterday?

11. Try Saying:

He's not familiar with the issues

Instead Of:

He's got his head up his ****ing a**e.

12. Try Saying:

Excuse me, sir?

Instead Of:

Oi, **** face.

13. Try Saying:

Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway

Instead Of:

Yeah, who needs ****ing holidays anyway.

Does anybody recognise anything familiar in this lot???!!!!!

jollygit xx

Amanda said...

Naughty Jollygit! Hope you don't mind but I have copied this to send round to some friends!

Here's another to keep us amused!

The Wedding of the Wongs

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him...

Are you ready for this?

Scroll down………………………

Wait for it…………..

Sum Ting Wong

A x

lyndyloo said...

Hi All

Great spate of jokes there. Made me giggle anyway!

I'm counting down to going over to Andorra with Mum for a couple of weeks now. The whole world seems to have gone on holiday and work has been very slow for the past few days.

I ad a fab party at the weekend. Allo Allo theme with people in various attire. Pictures on facebook for anyone that's interested.

What's brown & sticky?....



A stick!!!!


Amanda said...

LOL! Lyndyloo!

Have a fab holiday and give us the goss when you get back. Hope Mum enjoys herself too.

A x

Here is today's teaser!

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for able bodied people at the Paralympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

A x

jollygit said...


I got a teensy-weensy mention by Johnny Walker on yesterday's breakfast show - much as I love old Tel, I think JW is brilliant and would be a great successor if and when Tel retires.

Hope everyone is OK and enjoying this beautiful August weather!!!!! Splish, splash ....

jollygit xx

jollygit said...

Is there anybody there???!!!!

Don't know if anyone's received this already but it might be of interest.

The French company that own the Dartford Crossing are proposing to increase their charges. Please go onto the website attached, for no charges at all, which was promised to the UK citizens many years ago, and pass onto as many of your friends and colleagues as possible.

jollygit xx

analog said...

Hi y'all. Love the jokes, especially Lindyloo's stick one - that's my fave joke of all time!!!!

Has anyone started building an ark yet? Because I think we might need one soon ...

Jollygit I'm with you on JW - I think he's great and just love listening to his voice. But if he hadn't left the drive time show then Chris Evans wouldn't have taken over and none of us would be here chatting anyway.

Amanda said...

Hi Jollygit and Analog,

How's you both?

It really makes my blood boil when things get put into place with promises that will never be kept and the Brit's get treated like sh1t again. Not that I am anywhere near the Dartford thingy and will quite possibly never use it but I will be joining the petition, it's a matter of principle. Thanks for highlighting yet another injustice JG.

Hope the birthdays and Moose's hols are going well. It was great to hear what he has been up to (and how busy he has been). Also the coaching - hope it helps to exorcise those demons so you can move on my friend.

Only 8.5 days of work left til I have some time off with my lovely family. No money = no holiday as such, but trips to the park and swimming and the like will do the trick for a couple of weeks. I am on a countdown to it - next week I have to go away on a course for 4 days and I am part looking forward to it and part dreading it. Looking forward to spending some time in adult company and learning new skills, but dreading being in a hotel away from my boys. At least my holiday starts the day I get back.

Anyhow - will stop prattling on now. I too like JW but have an awful lot to thank CE for as well.

Have a good afternoon - will drop by again tomorrow to see if anyone has been in.

Virtual hugs to my virtual pals.

A x

jollygit said...

It was such a shame that JW's illness led to him leaving the Drivetime show, but I'm so glad it was CLP who took over as without him we wouldn't have found each other and be having such fun!!!!

In a perfect world JW would start my journey to work and CLP would continue to keep me company me on the way home from work - bliss!

JG xx

jollygit said...

Some alternative nursery rhymes (not recommended for children!!)

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring
Oh sh!t, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
'Pies you dumb arse!'

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its @rse
And turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cos he was gay.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
Forgot her pill,
And now they have a son.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

jollygit xx

lyndyloo said...

Ooh what great jokes and rhymes!

I'm still here and have embarked on a mammoth cleaning session of my house as the phone is v quiet due to the rest of the world being on holibobs. I've managed the upstairs this morning but think downstairs may have to wait until after Booboo's brother Mustard has gone home tomorrow night (he maults for England). He's a lovely boy but is allowed on furniture at home... not something I tolerate from my bears.

Anyhow .....

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.

Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

Booboo & Mustard

jollygit said...

One dark night in the small town of West Haven, CT, a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink, the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, 'All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will donate $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out and delivers them to me' .

But the roaring flames and intense heat held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in because the situation became desperate. As more firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the e offer to extricate the secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department that could save them

Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the fire engine of the nearby Derby,CT volunteer fire department composed of Italian firefighters, all over the age of 65.

To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Italian firefighters, passed fire engines parked outside the plant, and drove straight into the middle of the inferno!! Outside, the other firemen watched in amazement as the Italian old timers jumped off their truck and began to fight the fire with a performance that was as if they were fighting to save their own lives. Within a short time, the Derby old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret recipes.

The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman accomplishment he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave elderly Italian firefighters.

A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film. The 'on camera' reporter asked the Italian fire chief, 'What are you going to do with all that money?'

'Wella,' said Chief Pasquale De Luccinellavanti, the 70-year-old fire chief, 'de fursta tinga we gonnna do isza fixa uppa de brakes on dat f****** truck!!

jollygit xx

jollygit said...

I realise I'm talking to myself but if there is anybody out there lurking and has five minutes to spare, they might like to try the BBC's test on spotting a fake smile. Here's the link:

jollygit x

PS - I got 18 out of 20 right so it can't be that difficult!!

jollygit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jollygit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lyndyloo said...

How odd...

I posted yesterday and it seems to have dissapeared... must be in the twiglet zone!!!

Not to worry. I'll see if I cna make it today. Now after another couple of days with Booboo & her brother Mustard I'm ready for tomorrow and it's Bunny & Martin's wedding. Keeping fingers crossed for nice weather (though the reception is in a big conservatory at a hotel so just dry would be fine.

Hope you're all well!

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really!

Booboo & Mustard

jollygit said...

Sorry - I'm even repeating things to meself now!

Something strange has been happening on here .......

JG x

jollygit said...

For some reason, my last comment was repeated twice, so I've deleted them both .... just in case there's anybody out there wondering what's been happening !!

jollygit x

jollygit said...

Lyndyloo - I lost some of my comments yesterday and noticed that yours had disappeared - but then they came back - and now they're gone again!!!! I put a note on here about the BBC quiz but it didn't appear, and then suddenly it was on here three times, hence the two deleted comments! Spooky ...

I'm off to M/Keynes for a girly weekend today so will catch you next week - wherever you are!!

jollygit xx

Amanda said...

Definitely strange things happening, I posted yesterday and it has disappeared. Lyndyloo's teacher jokes also disappeared but they're back now.It would appear there are gremlins somewhere inside!

Good news to report here - my middle man (7, but 8 in 2 weeks time) has just swam his 50m breaststroke. How clever is he? How proud am I? He has been to a swimming course all week and on Monday told us all that by Friday he would have his 50m badge. Once he sets his mind to something there is no stopping him!

So, wishing you all a good weekend. I am probably not going to be around much the next 3 weeks, on a course for a few days next week and then on holidays. Not travelling away anywhere, just days out etc.. But my home PC has broken and no funds to get it fixed presently so will have to live without unless we win the lottery then I will be in contact from somewhere very exotic on a very expensive machine!!!

So take care all, I will drop by again later on if I can.

A x

Amanda said...

Just left a long comment and it hasn't appeared yet. Will not repeat in case it does!

JG - did the test - miserable 13 out of 20!

A x

Anonymous said...

Not letting me post here anymore - have tried twice and they are not appearing.

Have a good weekend guys - am away for around 3 weeks from this afternoon but may try to pop in next week.

Amanda x

MwK said...


It's been a while since I've been on here but I'm so glad I popped in today!

Thanks for the jokes and nursery rhymes - I've just had a really good laugh! They are brilliant!

Lyndyloo - Hope you and your Mum have a lovely holiday xx

Jollygit - I agree re JW, wouldn't mind his voice waking me up in the morning! lol Well done on getting a mention on his show.

Amanda - Good luck with the course. Wishing you, hubby and your gorgeous boys a lovely holiday.

Thanks for cheering me up - I really needed it today!

Take care all
Mary xx

analog said...

Wonder if the gremlins will let this appear ... I did the fake smile test and got 16/20. That was a surprise - I'm rubbish at telling if people mean it or not!

Hope y'all are doing OK - will call back later.

Anonymous said...

I left a post earlier but it doesn't seem to have got through. Is this second time lucky?

Only wanted to say hello and I got 16/20 for the fake smile test.


lyndyloo said...

Hi Everyone!

Great news! My Mum had her 1 year all clear from the cancer specialist today after her mastectomy last year!!! Yippee! We went to see Mama Mia to celebrate!


jollygit said...

Thought these presenters' gaffes might make someone laugh:

(1) Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator: 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

(2)New Zealand Rugby Commentator: 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

(3)Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

(4)Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977: 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.'

(5)US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie [Arnold> > Palmer] is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!! what have I just said??'

(6) Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

(7) A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

(8) Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

(9)Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.'

(10)Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

(11)Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

(12)Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

Too much do you think? Sorry ....

jollygit xx

jollygit said...

Lyndyloo - woo hoo for your mum - what wonderful news!! Bet Mamma Mia put an extra smile on your faces too - well done to Mrs Lyndyloo!

jollygit xx

Chrissie S said...

Hi everyone,

Well done to Jollygit, Lyndyloo and Amanda for keeping Moose's blog going - sorry I've been absent recently! And, of course, lovely to see Analog and Mary!

I don't have a lot to report, but I am happy to say that MsS has returned from a 10 day holiday with her friend and friend's mum. I was dreading her going away, but I was very good and didn't cry at all, apart from Day One!

I honestly used to think that "Empty Nest Syndrome" was just a piece of nonsense, but I have to say I now understand it. Completely. What I will do when the big day dawns that my daughter leaves home for good, I just don't know. I would quite like to package her up in a box and bring her out when she's 30, but I am aware that's just a teeny bit unrealistic!

Hope everyone is ok.

C xx

jollygit said...

Hi Chrissie - good to see you again.

Here are a few more gems for y'all:

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive, so I took her to a petrol station.


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

jollygit xx

Chrissie S said...

Just want to say to Jollygit - what an absolute bummer that MrJ has been made redunant again. You both must be so sick of it.

Wish I could say something really constructive, but all I know is, there will be something out there -MrJ will find it, but that's so easy for me to say, isn't it?

Thinking of you xx


jollygit said...

Chrissie - bless you xx

I know you're right and that there is something else out there for him but it's such a pain in the wotsits. I can't explain how I feel really but it's as if you're just getting settled after a turbulent time and then 'whoosh', the rug is pulled out from under you again and I know several of us have felt like that in recent times.

In the grand scheme of things it's not the worst thing that could happen to us by a long way, but it's a worry, especially with the way things are at the moment.

Anyhoo, thank you again for thinking of us and as soon as we get good news I'll be sure to spread it around!

Love from jollygit xx

EG (Scotland) said...

Hi - thought I would pop in and say hello. It's been such a while. Hope everyone is well.


EG (Scotland) XXX

jollygit said...

Hi EG - good to see you x

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their arses. The results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their arse is too fat............

10% of women think their arse is too skinny......

The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they wouldn't trade him for the world !!

jollygit xx

EG (Scotland) said...

Nice one jollygit!

jollygit said...

For anyone who's lurking:

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).
The Fasting &Prayer Conference includes meals.
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs..
------------------------------ ----------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
------- -------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is H*ll?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
---- -----------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
------------------------------------------ -- ------------ -
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
---------------------------------------------------- ------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan: Last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours’

jollygit xx

ChrissieS said...

Hi to anyone who might be out there!!

Sorry I haven't been on this blog for so long - Moose, we're missing you, we need your guidance!!!

Jollygit, I absolutely loved your Church Notices! How true - especially the Peacemaking meeting!

Just wanted to say hi, missing everyone so much! I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. This blog was such a fabulous place to come to, perhaps we'll get back on track, eh?!

Jollygit, any news on the work front for Mr J? I haven't noticed you next door, but I may have missed something. Thinking of you - particularly as things are so tough at the moment.

EG - nice to see you.

And to everyone else - hope things are ok with you.

C xx

jollygit said...

Hi Chrissie - thanks so much for asking about Mr J. He's still not working, although it's not for lack of trying. He's now signed on and will shortly be in receipt of the Jobseekers Allowance - £60.50 a week - woo hoo!! He's had one interview so far and is on lists for two others, but it's such a waiting game.

It's not an easy time for anybody at the moment - I don't know anyone who's breezing along. Even my brother who's been in New Zealand now for 3 years has just been made redundant as well which is really bad for him as he's got four children under 9 to support! I'm sure he'll find something else as he's got lots of contacts in the advertising world but it goes to show how far-reaching this is.

Anyhoo, I haven't been posting next door much because I don't seem to get the time to read all the entries! Mine's usually out of date by the time it appears!

I do miss the fun we had on here and I'm hoping that Moose et al are all OK. If there's anyone else lurking then love to you too.

Take care, jollygit xx

lyndyloo said...

Hi Everyone!

How strange Chrissie, it's been ages since I looked on here as it had all gone quiet. Then today I look and there you are. I've been ill with a stinking cold for the past few days but with a steady stream of beechmas and night nurse I feel loads better today.
It seems the world is falling to pieces if you listen to the financial markets but apparently we're not in recession... the fact that the price of everything is through the roof, homes are being repossessed and people can't afford to put their heating on doesn't metter as long as the city fat cats keep their jobs all will be fine.

Rant over...

Love to you all.

& Booboo

jollygit said...

Lyndyloo - sorry to hear you've been poorly, and hoping you'll soon be feeling back to normal (well, as normal as any of us on here are!)

jollygit xx

Amanda said...

Hello - lovely surprise to see some peoples here!!!

Jollygit - So sorry Mr J still not gainfully employed. Soul destroying. Mr A has been off on sick leave since March and we are trying to survive on a shoestring - I understand and it is not easy. We are just waiting for DVLA to do their job and he can go back to work - whenever that might be because, believe me, they won't rush.

Lyndyloo - sorry you've been rough too, there seems to be a lot of it about at the moment, take care and keep warm.

Chrissie - will email you today at some point to catch up!

Oh, and Jollygit - copied your missive regarding the church typists down and have submitted it to our next Church Magazine so will let you know if it hits the next issue - or if I get removed from the church (that won't be the first time!!!)!

Hope everyone is OK - not heard from Keith in a long while so hope his health isn't playing up for him.

Has Susan had her baby yet, is she alright does anyone know?

I think of us all frequently and the laughs we have all had (as well as the tears!) - hope Moose finds some time to get back to us soon. I thought Lyndyloo was in contact with Moose personally, do you know how he is Lyndyloo? Tell him we think of him if you are.

Take care all,

A x

Chrissie S said...

Well, how wonderful to see that some of the "old team" are still around!

Lyndyloo - it's nice to see you on CE's blog - where it all began! I think we forget that sometimes! Hope you are on the mend.

Amanda - always lovely to see you -we'll catch up this week for sure.

Now, if we can just hear from (in no particular order) DD, Keith, Jo, Hazel, Susan, Sammie, Mary, Anna, Analog ..... bound to have missed someone! Hey you guys, get back here!

C xx

P.S. Dr McCrumble!

C xx

lyndyloo said...

Have just booked to go to New York for my birthday (will be a difficult time after last year) so am now looking for a lovely hotel to stay in... any suggestions?

& Booboo

ps.. it's so nice to see the bloggers on here again :)))

Chrissie S said...

Lyndyloo: you most definitely deserve a wonderful holiday after the sadness you experienced last year.

Having said that, my envy knows no bounds! I am desperate to go back to New York - it must be so changed since 1980.

Asked my boss (who has been several times) to recommend a nice hotel, not too expensive. He stayed at the Double Tree Metropolitan which is about $150 per night. It is on Lexington at 50-something street: he tells me that's quite "far up" but a great location!

Just think of the fun you are going to have Googling for restaurants etc! I can get some recommendations if you wish!

C xx

Dissing Dave said...

Well how spooky is this, we have all popped in so recently!

The Moose has definately gone walkabout, probably leaving little moose messages all over the place!

Lyndyloo, enjoy NY, it certainly leaves an impression! I was blown away by some things, but experienced horror at how busy the place was, at all times of day and night!

Me I shall be celebrating New Year in Las Vegas, with I guess around 200,000 drunken Yanks!!!

Good to see activity on the Moose blog again!

DD out

Chrissie S said...

Just having a wee quick look before the madness really begins today.

DD - lovely to see you! Ooooh, I am sure you will love New Year in Vegas! I was there on Dec 28th about 4 years ago (just for an overnight, that was a stupid mistake!) and they were making preparations for the New Year's bash - it looked and sounded incredible - parties organised for every corner of the Strip!

While you will be having the time of your life, we'll be stuck at home watching the BBC!

C xx

Amanda said...

Lyndyloo - friends of mine married in New York in March 2007 and stayed at the Mandarin Oriental on Central Park - height of luxury, cost a bob or two but apparently well worth it. Have a fab time wherever you decide to stay. Hope the memories of last year do not make you too sad, celebrate your lovely dad's life if you can.
Are you going to see a Broadway production? You must report back on your celebrations.
Have a lovely time.

Chrissie - BBC or ITV we'll be there watching too!!!

A x

lyndyloo said...


He sends his best to the blog. He's still a very busy boy out in Germany and will be taking on a new job next week (he's doing very well). I'll be leaving an ARF for him next door as he's coming home this weekend.

Chrissie DD Amanda thanks for the suggestions and well wishes I'm sure I'll have a blast anyway. I was out there last 2 years ago and it's just wonderful! If you think NYC is busy you should try Bangkok!

I'm trying to get Hilton to offer me a freebie but somehow I don't see it happening.

Off to the gym tonight and then packing for my weekend in Palma tomorrow.

& Booboo

Dissing Dave said...

Last time I tried to get a freebie off Hilton, she slapped my face, but that's Paris for you..... oh sorry you meant the hotels!!


DD out

Chrissie S said...

Lyndyloo: Palma! How I LOVE Palma! Have a fantastic time, I am sooo envious!

C xx

lyndyloo said...

DD I thought that Paris gave it out willy-nilly (ooeeerrrr missus!)

And Chrissie yes Palma is one of my favourite places too, especially Palma old town which is where I'm going. We've decided that we all need a bit of a do as it's been a long year so we've chartered a boat to have dinner on tomorrow night then out for a sail round Majorca on Sunday I can't wait!

& Booboo

analog said...

Well helloooooo ...

Haven't been by for a while, but have been thinking of you folks. Then I heard about Susan's baby on CLP the other day and thought I must look up the Moose blog again. And fancy that, lots of people with the same thought around the same time.

Nice to hear that Moose is tickety-boo. Hope everyone else is too.

My boss is in New York at the moment - obviously it's THE place to be - but as I have no personal knowledge of the city-that-never-sleeps I can't recommend anywhere. Have a GRRRREAT time though Lyndyloo.

Have a good weekend folks whatever you're doing and whatever the weather.


PS Loved the Church announcements and will be passing them on ...

Amanda said...

It's Monday again! Where did the weekend go?

Celebrations in the 'A' household as Mr A returns to work today after 7 long months of illness. Hooray! The little men were hugging and wishing him luck this morning - quite gorgeous. Just hope he's home in one piece after a day's work tonight.

Other than that the sun is out here, has been all weekend really and we've had a busy time. My 2 little men were singing in the school choir on Sunday for the Parish Church Harvest Festival. It was the first time for littlest man, middle man is a seasoned professional having completed a year in the choir already. Littlest man was very nervous but they all sang beautifully (yes, I cried!)! I am a very proud mummy!

Have a good week, one and all. Hope there is enough of us for a party soon.

Hi Moose, wherever you are hope you are keeping well and still enjoying life's new challenges. Hope you find some time soon to let us know how you are and catching up with all your news.

Love A x

analog said...

Hey Moose - Lyndyloo said you had a new job, now we know what it is ...
Brilliant! A moose in an overcoat and hat at the front door of a German comedy museum. You couldn't make it up!

I'll drop by later when I've stopped chuckling ...

Chrissie S said...

Hi Analog: really good to see you!

Amanda: I KNEW there would be tears on Sunday! So glad it all went well and how fabulous for MrA that he's back at work!

What a wet and dreary day it is in Glasgow - could be quite depressing, but I am determined to smile!

Hope everyone is ok.

C xx

lyndyloo said...


Congrats to Mr A and well done to the little A's (I would have been sobbing too). And Analog's Moose is brilliant!

Palma was mega! We had dinner on Saturday night then went out for the day on the boat on Sunday. Lovely weather and all of us had a real good time. Highly reccommended.

Back to the soggy weather here though now so waiting for the delivery of Booboo's brother Mustard who is to come visit till Friday. Booboo is v excited!!!

& Booboo

EG (Scotland) said...

Hey All

Just in case you haven't heard - Susan's had a baby girl. They are home now.


jollygit said...

EG - thanks for the lovely news - I'm so glad all is well for Susan and the family and welcome to the newest Highland lass !

Had some good news on Friday - Mr Jollygit has got himself a job after a couple of months of unemployment and has started today! So, more name tags to sew into yet another new school uniform. I hope he makes some nice new friends anyway!!!!

Sounds like the CLP bloggers' meet went well next door - sadly, our finances meant that I couldn't go this time but I'm definitely going to try and get there next time.

Hope all is well with everyone, and love to all

jollygit xx

lyndyloo said...

Isn't it great news about Susan-S! How gorgeous for her & her family. I tried to send her text congrats but her number musthave changed. Anyone who knows it please pass on my wishes for me.

Jollygit great news for you too. It sounds like things are picking up all round.

& Booboo

EG (Scotland) said...


I've emailed you Susan's mobile number.


Chrissie S said...


It really is wonderful news for Susan and her lovely family. Another wee soul with a life to be lived!

Jollygit: congratulations to Mr J! Really great news for both of you!

Wish I had some "chat" but there's not a lot happening Chez S ..... but maybe that's not a bad thing, enjoy life while it's a quiet period!

C xx

EG (Scotland) said...

Hi Chrissie

Hope you are good. I'm still at same e-mail address if you want to drop me a note sometime. Hope we can meet up again in the not too distant.

Think of you and the others often.


lyndyloo said...

Happy Mondays everyone!

I hope that you've all had a great weekend and that life is treating you all well.

It's been a lovely weekend here in Warwickshire with a couple of good nights out and then I had 9 round for Sunday lunch yesterday. I love having lots of friends and family around me, especially when I get to feed them. There's nothing more comforting than hearing the sound of plates being scraped clean.

What's everyone been up to?

& Booboo