Allegedly.
According to a failed reality TV contestant on a reality TV programme that I have not watched a second of this time around (for the first time). I know this only because the reports of what is happening in the BB house are unavoidable in the red tops that accompany my gym breakfasts. That and 'News in Briefs'.
Somebody called Lesley apparently dissed half the population as being dead because they have silver cars. Apparently the woman herself drives a black Porsche. She claims that black is the only acceptable colour for cars.
My gripe is not really with her taste in colour but rather her taste in marque. Maybe I'm judgemental but Porsches usually seem to be driven by short men with big chips (on their shoulders) or trophy wives/girlfriends. And more annoying, even people who drive the things can't say it properly, demonstrating the usual British lack of skill and desire to correctly pronounce anything remotely foreign. Ikea is pronounced with a short i like in pig, but no we have to say Eye-key-ah. Ikea themselves have even given up trying to correct this in Britain as they realised they were in a losing battle. Munich and Cologne don't exist but we can't get our tongues around Muenchen and Koeln.
I suggest Porsche do a bit of rebranding. They will have to change the spelling of their brand. They have two options. One is to call it Porsh, capitulating to our laziness and ignorance. The second is to call it Portia - at least some British people are educated enough to have read some Shakespeare and know how to pronounce her name, and it's closer to correct than 'Porsh'.
Maybe Katie from The Apprentice could advise on the global branding aspects - I hear she's looking for work.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
114 comments:
Moose's muse is here! Ooooh - nice one Moose.
I like that - hate it when people can't say fings properly - no wot I mean, like?
I looooove saying Porsche, it's such a lovely word.
Thanks for the congrates all,
S xx.
Well done sammie, you have done amazingly well.
Portia's may be driven by small men with even smaller..... alledgedly. But i'd still have one if someone came and handed it to me. Tho i confess to preferring the cayenne if i really had a choice - do you think if i made sure all my lightbulbs were energy efficient it would strike out the negative carbon footprint?
Speaking (well we did yesterday/day before anyway!) of missing people. Where is the Gabster!?
xx
Moose - went out for a lovely walk last evening - walked up to the highest point in Leics - had fab views over surrounding counties... Anyhoo, went on then to a rather lovely pub in a rather posh village nearby and parked in the car park was the most fabulous Ferrarri. You could see the engine through a glass hood (or bonnet - engine was in boot - back to front!) and was very, very swish. Yummy - quite fancy one of those!!!
S xx.
Saw Katie, the unemployed non-apprentice, on TV this morning .... the interviewer was fawning all over her and saying "ooh, you're actually really lovely, aren't you?" - bleurgh. Apparently she's taking the Met Office to a tribunal, claiming that she was unfairly dismissed ...... now who knew that was coming? She's vile!
As for the Porsche, I would prefer a Jaguar XK8, dark blue soft-top, with ivory leather interior .... not that I've given it much thought, you understand! Is it Jag-you-are or Jag-war?!!!!
I used to drive a silver Astra (in my days as a sales rep) ... I wasn't and am still not dead, but it was a company car so what a bloody stupid thing to say. I'm all for freedom of speech but can't someone say something sensible for a blimmin' change?
jollygit xx
Sammie, Well done indeed!
I drive ............... a car, it gets me from A to B, it takes me to work, it brings me home, it gives me mobility beyond my walking range! When I get in, it starts! I don't need a car as a status symbol.
DD out
PS Still would love the Aston Martin though!! Deep deep gawjus, a thing of aesthetic beauty!!! Some people are real artists!
I have a friend called Marque (pronounced Mark, of which he has none by the way, just a couple of tattoos) and he drives a silver volvo. This looks like an un-marqued police car, so he can go as fast as he likes most of the time, usually overtaking spoilt girls called Portia riding their ponies.
...and while we're at it, what about Lucretia Borgia? Unlike Katie's 'victims', at least hers had a vague idea what they might be getting into...but how does one pronounce her name correctly if one ain't Eye-talian..? Hmmm?
Akershully, if anyone is interested the correct pronunciation of Saint Lucia is San Loosha. So there.
But enough frivolity...a question for you all...How we feel about Mazda RX8 please? This is the car the Badger has his snout on for me...evenchuarlly...
The best silver is platinum
love
hazel
x
(and not the people who make pens)
Personally I think the RX8 is a cool car (very Top Gear cool wall) providing you dont have to explain to somebody how a W@nkel rotary engine works.
Hazel, I have added 2 new blogs to my site following your comment. Apologies for my tardiness.
http://www.freewebs.com/dissingdave/forblogssake.htm
DD out
PS I love it!
Morning' mornin' mornin'
Don't like Portia's, and am not all that keen on furrarri's - What I would really like though is a fabulously restored Frogeye Sprite, while Mr Jo would like an AH 3000 to pose about in.
We used to have an MGB but sold it for the deposit on our first house!
Sammie - big congrats on shedding all that excess baggage, including the husband!
Hazel - I wasn't keen on them at first but they've started to grow on me (which makes finding clothes that fit an absolute nightmare Dahling!). Otherwise I hear very good things about the MX-5 which is a little cheaper.
As for me, I drive silver, and an estate so surely I am double worthless!
Today is stretching ahead like MfR's road trip, without the excitement and fun...very very long.....
:o) Jo
PS *listen, do do do, do you want to know a secret, do do do, do you promise not to telll, whooaaaa.*
PPS. Chrissie, it's alright, I know I'm crap at secrets, so crap that my friends know not to tell me stuff, although if they say to definitely not tell someone and have valid reasons then I can keep schtum....
Jollygit, you're just a Jag-Hag dahling...
Jag-Hag - I love it!!!!! Mind you, any car with a leather interior and I'm there ... I just love the smell of leather, but that's for another day ............
jollygit xx
I spy a naked horse-whipping discussion with leather fronds! OO-ER MISSUS!!!!!
I was going to look at a flat in Whippingham Road.
Unfortunately the street had the appearance of a student lavatory cum skag house rubbish bin, so I didn't bother.
Damn shame really. Would've loved giving out the address.
The only thing abite leather seats is that one's @rse tends to stick to them in the 'ot weather. For this reason I prefer a nice velour(preferably in the British Rail pattern) or possibly a longer skirt.
But you can't beat a nice bit o' leather...or can you...
My mum used to say (a direct quote) "I'll tan your hide my girl". Can't remember if she ever did...it probably just worked as a threat...
One further question, your car which gets you from A to B, how on earth do you get to DD?
minibar
love
hazel
x
Hazel, If my wife ever finds out that I've got to DD, she'll tan my hide!!!
DD out
PS Drove my chevy!
The only bit of BB that I did see was that stupid witch banging on about "if you have a silver car, you know you've given up". Well, of course, we have a silver car! I just about put my foot through the t.v. Have managed to avoid BB since then.
When I first started working for my boss 21 years ago (yes, I'm an idiot) I used to get his car when he was on holiday. He then had a BMW 316 and I just loved it. It felt so safe to drive and was really sturdy. Sturdy means a lot to me! However, since I was almost flattened on the motorway by a HUGE articulated lorry and I escaped by inches, I don't drive anymore. I completely lost my confidence and even the sturdiest car in the world won't bring it back.
I know a couple of guys who drive a Porsche and I'm sorry to be so rude so early in the day, but on the back where it says "Porsche" it should actually say "Dick". Other rude words are available!
C xx
Hazel - dontcha just hate that sticky feeling, you get it too when you sit on plastic patio chairs, but they leave lines on your legs too - perhaps going out in a skirt longer than my pants would have been advisable but you know, it was all back in the day!
Have just been speaking about weddings to a work colleague (for about 40 minutes) today has just got a bit less long!
:o) Jo
The main thing that p's me off about people like Leslie (because after all that may be the correct spelling...who is to say?) is when they set themselves up as the eppytomee of taste. Or arbiters. Or is that ACAS?
Dearest D...my, this could go on for ever. DD on a GG with Porshea in leather.
Tres interesant je pense
Beau cups
love
hazel
x
We've got leather sofas at home (surprise, surprise!!!) and I have to admit that in the summer, one does have to peel oneself - slowly and carefully - orft the sofa. Unfortunately this is usually accompanied by a rather unsavoury noise.
This isn't going at all well, is it?!! I'm sorry - I'll leave you now ......
jollygit xx
ChrissieS, my favourite is the one that says...
'Little Princess on Board'
As you can imagine, living in the Brighton area, one sees quite a few of those!
...Jo, I have found a handy towel placed handily under ones btm prior to descending plastic patio chair seatwards helps a bit. Mind you, you then get something which looks a bit like a rash instead of stripes, and if you nicked the towel from a hotel, the name of the hotel, but backwards, tattooed upon ones erm...self...
Better still, only go where there is wooden (preferably unsplinterintg) furniture. You'll probably have to put a folded-up napkin under one of the table legs though...
D'you suppose a monkey makes the same noise when sitting on a hot car seat as he does when he gets into a hot bath?
imponderables
love
hazel
x
The best road safety device in existence is apparently the "Baby/Child on Board" sign!
I'm sorry but why should you having a kid in your car make any difference to my driving? I don't see that rule anywhere in The Highway Code! and anyway Am I bovvered!
Unless this sign means that the driver of the car concerned is going to be making unindicated unexpected changes of direction at the very last minute, because little johnny/jenny in the back seat has projectile vomitted over his/her little brother/sister, or desperately needs to pee in the kerbside (or on a coat in the back seat).
I AINT BOVVERED!
DD out
DD - those signs really pee me off as well !! A 'Baby on Board' sign doesn't make any difference to my driving, but it apparently affects the driver of the car with the sign on it, leading them to believe that they are OK to drive like complete d***heads - grrrrrr!
jollygit x
...and...
For the Mafia - 'Body in Boot'
For the Dealer - 'Stop Me and Buy Some'
For the Pimp - 'Stop Me and Buy One'
For the Tourist - 'I have no idea where I'm going so you'll have to huff and puff to yourself while I slow down to read all the road names'
For the bloke scoring points - 'I brake for Horses but speed up for people crossing the road just down from a Zebra Crossing'
For the Clubber - 'I dance at flashing lights'
For the Ambulance Drivers - 'We don't stop for Clubbers'
For the Fire Engine Driver - 'Men changing in back'
For the Gay Fire Engine Driver - 'Keep Away They're Mine'
HL...all out for the time being...
Mr L has just received a free TOGS sticker (with his Janet & JOhn Reloaded CD) - it says "I stop for no reason". Should we put it in the back of our (black) car?
Analog
Absotively!!!
DD out
For Captain Hook - 'No Hand Signals'
For Paranoid Drivers - 'Have you checked your back seat'
For Nosey Drivers - 'So, where are you going'
For Paranoid Drivers - 'Are you following me'
For Paranoid Drivers - 'Have you been behind me since I left home'
For Tractor Drivers - 'I'm in front of you because the road is too narrow to overtake me, and I could see you coming from about 3 miles away'
For Paranoid Drivers - 'What if another Tractor pulls out behind me'
For Schizophrenic Drivers - 'It depends which way the voices tell me to go'
For Paranoid Schizophrenic Drivers - 'Whichever way the voices say to go, I go the other way because you can't be too sure'
I'm on a chicken salad roll!
analog, defiantly!
espeshully if it's a porsh car
Just because your not paranoid, doesn't mean that they aren't out to get you!!
DD out
Chrissie - the same thing happened to me - damn lorries on the M6!! This happened 2 months after a silly moo drove into me and wrote off my beloved clio! Driving was very, very scary for a while. One month later, my ex got banned from driving for being a DD - so I didn't have any choice BUT to drive.
I'll still hold me breath when I pass a lorry,
S xx.
P.S. I passed DD and almost went to G, but that's due to takeways and alcohol....
Afternoon all,
I do like cars. I would not have a Porsche though as I do not have a trophy wife… she is far more to me than that! ;-)
To me there is no one dream car as I think they are like horses for courses. If money was no option I would have a Range Rover for the countryside, A Bentley continental for the evenings and a pristine MGA roadster (including my peak cap to keep my hair out of my eyes and stop my ever increasing bald spot from blinding those behind me) in British Racing Green in mint condition for the weekends. Of course money is an option (Boo Hooo!!) so family salon and MPV for me then. ;-((
Baby on board signs/stickers were designed to alert emergency services that there may be a child on board in the event of an accident. Now they are used as a permission sticker to travel in the fast lane of the motorway/ cut up other drivers all whilst expecting all other road users to give you some space.
Keith the BigUn
xx
Message from the Pedantry
Dear Mr Dissing
A double negative. Interesting.
No, no, really, it is. Very interesting. We have no idea how to read that sentence, but we get the gist.
For the Red Indian Reliant Owner - 'Three Wheels on my Waggon'
For the stalker: "I know where you're going"
For the Slapper - 'You don't know where I've been'
Keith, any car where you don't give the waiting paparazzi a flash of your stockings would have to come fairly high up your list too...surely...
suspend me
love
hazel
x
ps very pleased with the slapper one...
From the Stalker “I know where you’ve been”
Sammie,
I can see that you just had to drive - to get on with it, and I really mean this - good on you. Don't know what would happen if
Mr S decided he couldn't drive! Having said that, I never ask him for a lift. I get where I have to go under my own steam because if I do ask for a lift, the lecture I get is beyond belief. Just not worth the hassle. It's been so long now since I drove (13 years) I genuinely think I would be dangerous, but Mr S thinks this is a ploy! As if!
I have found today to be so
s-l-o-w. I am assuming this is because I am having a day off tomorrow - so looking forward to it! The plan is to meet my sister for lunch (yet another birthday-related lunch, she's like the Queen, the celebrations go on for a week) then we are going to see Patricia Routledge in an Alan Bennett play - should be terrific. I don't have to get up at 6.30 tomorrow morning - this guarantees I will be awake at 6am!
C xx
Ms Suspended,
I will of course keep my stocking covered up at all times. There is no need to excite other road users. :-))
Keith
x
For the amnesiac: "how did I get here and where am I going"?
Right, that's it. Having my navel pierced...
S xx.
Orf t'docs to see if they can help me breathe through this difficult time.
For the Hayfever Suffering Driver - 'Beware Sudden Lurches. Driver may be Sneezing'
chow bananas
love
hazel
x
HL - good luck and bless you!
jollygit xx
Hazel, good luck at the doctors. That is where I am tomorrow as well “SNAP”. Anyhow if you get any cream that need rubbing in then please do not hesitate to give me a call as I am always willing to help, don’t you know! :-)))
Keith the BigUn
xx
HL - Mixed Pollen 30!!!!
S xx.
For the slapper
Someone's coming!
Today is my boss's daughter's 21st birthday. I thought it might be nice to go along to the restaurant they are going to this evening, with three balloons - you know, the helium type - and ask them to attach them to her chair at the table. The stupid lassie who runs the restaurant said to me "three balloons? I fear that would be cumbersome"!! Cumbersome? What is this - a restaurant owned by Jane Austen? So, I am back with one balloon! She allowed two, but three was quite, quite, out of the question!
Oh, makes me seethe! And I was only trying to be nice!
C xx
Chrissie - blimey, haven't heard the word 'cumbersome' in ages! Perhaps she wears a bustle and a bonnet!!
For what it's worth, my money's on Kristina winning The Apprentice tonight. Paul wears yellow socks .... not to be trusted.
Have a lovely evening everyone - we've managed to dodge the rain darn sarf after all, ha-ha!
However, any bloggers who wear yellow socks are, of course, exampt! xxxx
Make that exempt even!!!
Am I having a conversation with myself
For the pedantry!
Technically, it was a triple negative!
DD out
Jollygit,
I completely agree - Kristina to win. Simon talks a good game, but I think Kristina is the Apprentice. However, if she leaves the job after six weeks or whatever, I really will boycott the next series because the whole project will just be pointless!
See you Friday!
C xx
I have to admit to a serious flinch when I saw Simon's yellow socks. Not a good look on anyone.
Kristina should win if he really wants someone with a chance of running the business. Simon is the sort of guy that, given 20 projects to run would do 1 fabulously successfully and make a complete and utter pig's ear of the other 19. Those are not good odds in business. Kristina's sucesses may not be as spectacular as Simon's but she'll have more of them and her disasters will be fewer and less disastrous. Business is a lot about luck and playing the odds. Sugar knows that as he's a gambler. He'll go with Kristina.
Well at the risk of coming in late, and with the benefit of hindsight, i would say the right 'man' got the job. Despite the yellow socks, i think that Simon is smart and probably much more shrewd than he has shown in the series. I also think that Sir Alan is looking for an Apprentice that he can mould, shape and manipulate to run the business in the way he wants it running. An apprentice in the true sense of the word, as opposed to Kristina who undoubtedly has the ability to run an organisation and no doubt deliver, but who is much more the finished product. I suspect it will still be Kristina time now, she will have offers flooding in - she's a very capable lady. But im glad the underdog won.
Morning all.
xx
Message from the Pedantry
We suppose that would equal a zero.
See workings.
-+-=+
++-=0
We don't do mathematics just words, but as we said, we get the gist. However, having re-read the 'statement' we think you basically stated nothing. But this could probably go on for years as a mass debate.
Yours
Four of Nine
So he picked Simon.
I still have no idea who he is. Or who the other one was.
But I really didn't like that Katie thing. Neither human nor beast, but certainly a mix of the two...allegedly...eh Moose?
...and it was the last Hustle last week. Can't believe it. They didn't say anything. Not even "Hustle will return in the Autumn" like they do with Doctor Who.
Disappointed of Hove
Possibly soon to be disappointed of Kemptown
Moving isn't it
love
hazel
x
ps Mind you I quite like Dalziel and Pascoe so it snot all bad.
Morning all
Talking of snot Hazel, how's the breathing going this morning? I guess you are still breathing as you seem to still be alive, although you could be someone else pretending to be you?
Didn't watch the Apprentice last night as went to Netball to watch the girlies, I could have run on and played I'm sure! Arranged a Saturday afternoon tea party type thing in lieu of raucous birthday party which I would rather have!
I was hoping that Simon won, I think Mr Sugar has been burnt twice already by the whole female seeking fame, glory and attention thing so picked what he saw as the safer option, Unfortunate for Kristina though as I don't think she was of that type.
Laters :o) Jo
Well, it goes to show just how much I know, eh?! I still thought Kristina should have won, but I understand that Sir Alan probably wants someone who isn't fully developed (in the business sense), so despite the yeller socks, well done Simon.
And Hazel Love - we'll have no mass debating on here, not at this time of the morning anyhoo ....
jollygit x
Crikey - was it something I said? Where is everyone ........ hallooooooo???!!!!
jollygit x
Hello JG :o) Have been in a v. boring meeting all morning and am now reaching for the Bourbon (biscuits!)to tide me through till lunch time!
:o) Jo
Oh thank goodness, I've got company!! As there's no-one else around, how about we nick off for a spot of virtual lunch?
jollygit x
Hey JG & Jo...am back at least for a short while.
Jo, snot's a bit better today thanks! Breathing now a bit less of an effort. Doc said chest is clear, but me bronchials were 'avin a bit o' trubble coping with all the irritation, but then don't we all. Lovely pharmacist gave me a couple of pills for last night and smorning, and I'm picking up the rest of the scripshon later. One a day, but she said do two for first 2/3 days so they may kick in a bit quicker...thanks for arstin. xx
JG - now have sign in on my REAL job company hoorah, so may be able to get a s/sheet done in less than a day and a half. Should take about and hour and a half. So.
Now have to sort court papers and may be out of woods. For that read just past the three bears cottage with a half-full basket.
My, what big hands you have Grandmother
love
hazel
x
ps all the students at the highly esteemed (although to this day I have no idea why, I know a guy who went there, and he can't even SPELL mystified...) Christ's Hospital School in Horsham wear yellow socks.
Is this relevant?
Discuss.
Hazel - as a prim and proper and I know exactly what the score is ex-smoker, don't you think that the smoking probably doesn't help you bronchial activity??? I never listened when they told me that either!
:o) Jo - who's going for lunch in a bit and who is wearing light blue goofy sock today...
Hazel - as a prim and proper and I know exactly what the score is ex-smoker, don't you think that the smoking probably doesn't help you bronchial activity??? I never listened when they told me that either!
:o) Jo - who's going for lunch in a bit and who is wearing light blue goofy sock today...
How'd that happen?
Well, apparently, if you stop smoking when you have bronchials or suchlike, your lungs start producing a whole different sort of MUCUS (a word like that deserves capitals, like PHLEGM, or MIKA) which serves to irritate the irritation...so it is best to carry on. My GP told me that, and I've dined out on it ever since. I've even had an after-dinner cigar on it more than once...
Thank you for caring!
Twice
love
hazel
x
I am not wearing socks. I am barely panting. It's hard enuff to breathe around here anyway.
What the uckfay is up with Cornwall. I don't think I ever want to go there...tork abart duplicitous...one law for them and the other law for them too.
Bloddy Grockles. You baint from roond these parts are eeyuu?
And I don't think I intend to be either. Thank you anyway.
Boys - don't look
Girls - remember that you always have the strenght to do this, and remind men of it regularly
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/4253849.stm
:o) Jo
Jo - is there a number missing from your BBC link, only it's not letting me read the story .....
jollygit
They really will nick anything in Liverpool won't they! I don't know about the shirt off your back, but the pants off your @rse is going too far! Next they'll be trying to overcharge people for parking, huh?
DD out
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/4253849.stm
or for others
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/
4253849.stm
It's worth the wait!
I am SO effing hungry I am going to eat my own arm in a minute.
All I am expecting upon the officers return, is a beer can sarnie with red sauce and something containing chocolate. Any improvement on this would be gratefully received.
In the meantime I am making do with the testicle I removed earlier.
Yours
The woman from liverpool.
Flippin' heck!!!! I mean, I've been upset with men in the past but I've never gone that far!! Bleurgh ...........
I bet Michael Barrymore's not saying "awite" at the moment either.
jollygit xx
Good of her to clean it up though, I thought!
DD out
Had to go to purchase own chocolate. Am usually very good and not driven to crazy impulses, but Geoff had gone just that bit too far. If he'd just let me have a bite of his Mars Bar, the whole thing need never have happened.
Ps am next door to Mr Barrymore. Keeps banging on the pipe. Am getting fed up with it, and have asked warder to warn him I may have his guts for garters. He already knows what else I may be capable of.
Yours
The woman from liverpool
One of my windscreen wipers is not behaving properly and is barely hanging on - do you think the weather will clear up in time so I don't need to use it on the way home????
It is currently dark here!
:o) Jo
Did everyone get washed away by a frek wave??
:o) jo
That would be freak then!
Yes jo - a frek/freak wave has come over Nottingham as well. Am really looking forward to the slightly damp street party now. Am sure it wasnt like this in 1977.
:o(
Hurrah - a survivor from the storm! My garden was under a bit of Water this morning - Sophie puppy was not very impressed at having to go out in the rain!
My Birthday tea party may have to convene indoors tommorrow too... Oh well...
Wasn't 1977 a very hot and fabulous summer? (Obviously made fabulous by the arrival of 2 special little girls!)
:o) Jo
Hello! It's Friday. It's freezing. It's f - can't think of another clean word beginning with f!
I had a wonderful day off yesterday. Did a couple of domestic chores in the morning, headed off into town to meet my sister for lunch and some delicious wine (as you do) and then went to the theatre. The play was just fabulous, but you have to like Alan Bennett, which I do. Very much. Patricia Routledge was breathtakingly good, just fab.
I know this is going back a bit, but can I mention The Apprentice? I really thought Kristina had won, right up until she said to Alan Sugar - you don't have to show me what do, whereas Simon's take on it was -I'm here to learn: I put it to you that's what signed Kristina's fate! I really enjoyed the show and the one afterwards - it was great watching Alan Sugar whacking Katie over the head (metaphorically) Hurrah!
Hope everyone is o.k. Hazel - how's the packing going? I hope you are getting assistance - it's a nightmare having to move house! And you've not been well - pet lamb!
Be back soon!
C xx
Hazel Love can't be with us today - the tablets seem to have kicked in and she's a bit under the weather but I do have a sicknote for her.
Hope everyone's recovered after the terrible rain last night - blimey!
Have a good day all.
jollygit xx
Jollygit - thanks for letting us know - poor wee Hazel.
I know you guys have had the most horrendous weather. We are freezing up here, but in the main, dry!
It is Mr S's birthday today. He is 53. I met him when he was 19. How can 34 years vanish before your very eyes?! Hey ho, perhaps a glass of wine or two tonight will help us forget we are a pair of old goats!
C xx
Chrissie - looks like it's just you and me today! Happy birthday to Mr S and have a good weekend.
jollygit xx
fleeting....
HL hope you feel better soon
Chrissie S - happy birthday to your old man
Jo - have a lovely birthday tea party
roll on the wet weekend
xx
Afternoon!
Sorry - been in orifices that don't allow me to get to this blog!
Have had to dash home this afternoon, as the - plumber rang and said he could squeeze me in this afternoon - oo-er missus!
My work are great like that actually - but there again, I'm doing that much work for them at the moment, they don't have to hav any concerns about where I work from - the work gets done, which is the main thing.
It was lovely and sunny and warm at lkunchtime, but is now very dark and threatening more heavy showers - hope the weekend's better.
S xx.
Hi guys,
Never have I seen Moose's blog so quiet on a Friday!
I guess we are all busy but hopefully winding down to look forward to the weekend.
Sammie - you are just in great form. I read your comment next door about how happy you are with your new man. I'm glad he didn't take no for an answer!
Hope everyone is o.k. - have a great weekend all.
C xx
Hello all
I have really missed you guys this week, M E G A busy ay work ( and even more so next 2 weeks), but now, Friday night, glass (read bottle) of wine, Big Brother on telly, texting friends also watching, and now i've been able to read your episles(sp)
Jo - O M G testicles, honestly I had to cross my legs and glug another glass down quick..OOOH!
Happy B Day and happy Anniversary to all bloggers, husbands, lovers, friends, siblings, children, bosses daughters etc of bloggers ( whether thy wear yellow socks or nor!
Kristina was robbed.. but Anna is right, the world is now her oyster..Krisis Solved with Kristina..maybe a Sci Fi Channel hit!!?
You know what, i had an interview for the show, but they wouldn't pay expenses, so I refused!
Oh, who's the double triple anonymous?..a bit narky? or am i just feeding the troll?
Hazel Love - Hope nose, tubes , brochial passageways are getting less inflamed
Am in france next week for work, so will eat some frogs legs, snails, and garlic cliches(can't do the accent) for you all.
Thanks for continuing this wonderful blog...I love you, me!
Love
Caroline x
Bl**dy B*ll*cks
I can't blinking type properly, sorry guys
Oh, and i more thing - I was reading in the independant last week that collective nouns are not being used or invented
therefore i suggest the following:
A fanny of TV chefs
An empathy of bloggers
A desparate of reality TV contestants
A Panache of chocolatiers
DD and HL a challenge for you for Monday... Love Cazzer x
Challenge accepted, but only 'cos I'm orf to Center Parcs
A roadblock of caravanners!
An incompetence of MP's
A panache of WAGs
A squeal of BB contestants
What do you use a dictionary for? To find out what a word means or to find out how to spell a word? If you use it to find out how to spell a word, don't you have to know how to spell it before you look for it?
Good luck to anyone who has been flooded out!
DD out
Morning All!
My goodness, how quiet? I think everyone must have been washed away, or at least soaked into silence...
Well, another weekend over with - I blinked and missed it.
Went kite flying yesterday with me laddie - very satisfying - not the kite flying, but the walking and 'investigating' in the woods afterwards. Great fun. Saw a guy with his very stroppy falcon. The bird was not interested at all - funny to watch - the bird was eyeing his handler very disrespectfully!
Righty - off to a suppliers now - will check in with you all later, hope you have fun, whatever you're doing!
S xx.
Hey babies
Thank you for all your good wishes. Am still a bit off it today, as am aching from coffin lots, and two nose bleeds over the weekend didn't help, but the pills finally seem to be doing something.
However, we have had our moving date confirmed, and friends, it IS this Saturday, 23rd. Oh joy.
The packing isn't the hard bit, it's the letting all the various authorities, ye ken what I mean, that I'm not going to be living there anymore!
Hey ho. As was not here Fri, and am gonna be busy doing gawd knows what this week (and the car wouldn't start this morning either...) so I shall pop by when I can, but will have to pass on the challenge, at least for a short while...
Although
An Arrest of Policemen
A Scalpel of Surgeons
An Udder of Milkmen
A Patronising of Social Workers
A Shush of Librarians
Now I have to go
I do hope you all had super fun fabby weekends
and I shall see you later
love
hazel
x
The weather continues humid and slightly chilly
Good morning - why does it always seem to be Monday?
Only two weeks to go and then we are taking the first two weeks in July off work. Nothing planned unfortunately because Mr S is self employed (not recommended for widows and orphans) and it all depends on whether any money comes in over the next 14 days. If the answer is yes, we will lastminute.com and if the answer is no, I'll have the time to put all my DVD's into alphabetical order. At last!
Hazel - glad you are feeling a wee bit better. No matter who you tell that you are moving, no-one pays any attention and you end up having to get your mail re-directed for at least a year!
Sammie - your weekends are always so active - I'm such a lazy git that I spend Sundays reading the papers and drinking sherry!
DD - hope you are having a great time. I'd love to go to Centre Parcs!
Caroline - how wonderful to be in France for work! Sometimes I get to deliver a letter by hand, a couple of streets away!
Have a good Monday, all. Be back later.
C xx
Morning morning
hope we are all well (even the bronchials amongst us). Jo, how did your tea party go!?
We had a very wet, but brilliant birthday party at the weekend. Me dad did some m agic (thankfully he managed to stay away from the dancing!), our new army neighbour taught us all how to jump out of a helicopter (we quickly realised that he has little else to talk about other than the army and wanted him to feel welcome!). The chef on the street did a sterling job with the 5 rounds of barbequeing we did and i managed to drink lots of beer, smoke several King Edwards (or should that be a coughin of cigars - poor, but im trying! very?) and the torrential rain didnt dampen our spirits (we couldnt save the bread cobs/baps/cakes though!)
So final bhirthday doings is tomorrow when i head off to Alton Towers for some overpriced food and extra long queues. Cant wait.
Have a nice week all.
xx
Morning all.
Not much to report except that I'm grey and damp here in Kent ... the weather's not much better either.
Here's my offering, such as it is:
A body of undertakers
A clutch of mechanics
Sorry - that's it for now!
jollygit xx
a bevvy of beer cans ?
I want to be really un PC but am not sure I ought to be???
In the meantime:
A gobful of dentists
An incompetent of managers
A sleaze of car salesmen
An orange of make up girls
that'll do for now I think.
Tea party was loverly followed up by a BBQ yesterday at some friends..... And yet again I was the designated driver!
:o) Jo
O.K. Right. I accept we are all busy. But THIS busy?!
Hope everyone is o.k.
As for me, I appear to have an ear infection - really sore ear, sore throat, cough that indicates I smoke 40 a day, when I don't actually smoke! So, I am heading off to the Doc's, have managed to get an "emergency appointment" and will be leaving here at 3.45.
Hope to talk to some of you tomorrow!
C xx
Chrissie - you poor soul! Whatever you've got, it sounds nasty so I hope you get some anti-b's from the doc and start to feel better very soon.
A hot water bottle, wrapped in a towel, makes a very comforting cushion to lie on when you've got earache - just not too hot tho!
jollygit xx
Hi All!!
Four dullsville hours discussing MI (not the actual MI, but which MI was actually required!) and I nearly fell asleep. Early night tonight I think.
I am soooooooo tired - I never feel like this at the weekend - what is it about grey, rainy, boring Monday's???
Oh - had an e-mail today from someone - hmmmph. I shan't reply in a hurry. I will do - cabn't be out and out rude, but I shall take my time. Don't need another persistant guy on the scene.
Anyhoo - gotta do a bit - you're all terribly quiet today - hope those that are unwell feel better soon and those that are well - where are you???
S xx.
Sorry for my on again off again absence - have had 2 very productive meetings today which I actually enjoyed and so I quite like my job today. Ou est le moose cette semaine?
I know how you feel Chrissie, I keep logging on to see if something was going on here but it hasn't been. I suppose part of that is my own fault as I've not really contributed, rather expected people to contribute around me....
SO: 'yippee yippee ya ya yey' everyone
You're Twistin my melon man
How old are you?
Are you old enough?
Should you be in here watching that?
:o) Jo
I have had an effing effing day today.
Sorry to use the eff word but I have.
Effing.
Too much for a body to cope with sometimes. Trying to get better and co-ordinate all the bits of paper and people you need to inform that you are moving.
Effing.
Anyhoo, ChrissieS, I do hope you feel better once you've been to docs, and anna, I could sure do with a King Edward.
Oh yes
love
hazel
x
...and does anyone know anyone with a big van? Who'd be willing for a bottle of their favourite tipple?
The weather continues breezy.
I have been lurking on occasion, but had no time to chip in.
Hope those of you that are poorly aren't for long, and those of you that aren't poorly stay that way.
And Hazel - good luck with moving, it's not much fun is it? ...
My old man once borrowed a van
To shift all my stuff up his way
Off went the van with the old man in it
I sat and stared as the tree stump hit it
He shillied and shallied and shallied and shillied
But had no way to explain what he had done
He gave the van back with a big dint in it
And still blames me 10 years on!
Dove l'alci questa settimana?
Hello all you lurvely Bloggers!
I'm back but up to my ears in work for a few days. Thought I'd just let you know that I had a marvelous time and that Roobear's party was a roaring success! Thanks for all the good wishes.
I'll join in with your banter later in the week. I hope that you're all safe and well and as mad as ever!
Luv
Lyndyloo
& the Bears
-x-x-x-
sorry to be SOOOOOOO tedious...Jollygit, and Jo, I know I had emails from you yesterday afternoon, and they have varnished from my system.
I have not got enuff to think about without my computer playing games (possibly connect 4 the DULLEST game in creation) so sorry that I've not got back to you...
Thank you for your time
x
Thank you for your kind words re: my ear problem. The doctor tells me it is not an infection. Of course this is the same doctor who insisted that Ms S had a flu-type virus when actually she had pneumonia! So, if my ear falls off come Thursday, we know he was wrong!
Hazel, you have reminded me of Connect 4! Ye gods, I detest that game, but not because it's dull. I have to confess, I cannot play it! Mr S and I were sent that game from my mum as a Christmas pressie when we lived in the U.S. No matter how many times we played it and no matter how many times I tried to beat Mr S - I could not do it! (I do appreciate this makes me look like a numpty!). Eventually, I just took a flaky, burst into tears and demanded the damn thing went in the bin! In my defence, I was only 23 and far from home! Over the years, my nerves returned almost to normal and I had completely forgotten about it until this morning! Thanks, Haze -you have reminded me of where it all started to go wrong for me in the "I'm a nutter" stakes!
C xx
Please accept my most 'umble dear ChrissieS. I never got the hang of it. Detest it with the venom of a cobra I do...
Anyhoo, on the ear front (the final front ear) I hope you feel lots better soon.
I SAID I HOPE YOUR EAR GETS BETTER SOON DEAR
Myself and friend currently planning a game related vaguely to Battle Ships. We have decided on a name, but will have to wait until we have had wine, vodka, tequila and JD in the correct quantities again so that we can remember how to play it.
Now, toast.
Dunk in at 1045 anyone?
ps lyndyloo, glad to have you home!
xx
Hazel,
I'm here for a quick dunk-in: but I'd much rather partake of the vodka, tequila and most definitely JD, if that's o.k. It's 9pm in Australia, can't we pretend we're there?!
C xx
Pint of Gin for me please :o)
Jo
Someone's trying to hide an affair!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/6766657.stm
:o) Jo
Jo - just brilliant! "Oh no, she's left her underwear behind. Do I throw it in a bin somewhere five streets from here? No, I'll flush it down the loo"!
What a world!
C xx
ChrissieS, the sun is usually past the yard arm at least somewhere. Nobody needs an excuse for a quick snifter should they feel the need. However, I have had mine confiscated until after the move. Well, what was left of it anyway.
...and Jo...having spent a short part of my employment (although not now, though you'd have thought it eh) working with those who enjoyed sewage as a business...I don't think you'd be surprised at the stuff that turns up. It all has to be reported as it constitutes a 'Hazard' It just doesn't make it on the news if it isn't black and lacy with ribbons on it.
AHA! It was anna! After her birthday.
Lemon entry my dear Mr Watson
love
hazel
x
ps did anyone lose a goldfish?
Jo - I like it! Mind you, it says that the items will be disposed of properly ..... how would you dispose of them improperly?
HL - glad you're back with us again and feeling a bit better. Nobody make her larf though otherwise her poor muscles will 'urt. Did you hear the one about ........
Iss partly clardy darn 'ere
jollygit xx
Mooseo, Mooseo, wherefore art thou Mooseo?
My balconette is overflowing with desire, but unfortunately the rest of my underwear got flushed by the cleaner after she realised the hand-held dyson had sufficient suction to suck up stuff at least 6ft from the bedroom door, and didn't have the guts to own up when I noticed the absence of certain underpinnings.
You just can't get the staff these days.
again, suspended
love
hazel
x
What I like is the statement that "These pipes are not designed to carry bras and knickers." Are any pipes designed for carriage of discarded undies???
Message from the Pedantry:
analog. We had not noticed this otherwise glaring error. It is not often that one 'slips' through the 'net' (please excuse our terrible puns) and we are grateful that you spotted that.
We enjoyed your comment very much.
Yours
Four of Nine
Under the heading that it was bound to happen to someone somewhere someday...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/6767249.stm
or
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/
england/bradford/6767249.stm
Post a Comment