I shall stop in 29 Palms and blast "Damn this traffic jam" from the stereo, just for the hell of it.
I shall stop in the middle of the Joshua Tree National Park and blast "I still haven't found what I'm looking for".
I shall stop at the bottom of El Kapitan and blast "Happy Talking".
I shall stop at Big Sur and blast something "Hang the DJ".
See the rest of you in a couple of weeks...
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Random musings of a random Moose
319 comments:
1 – 200 of 319 Newer› Newest»Cazzer, good to see you, and a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you. Shall endeavour with all endeavourance (possibly not a word) to attend at 1pm!
Needed you and Mr C for panto baddie laugh to try to get Jo to reveal where she lives as she has massive stash of alcoholic bevvies at her house with which to whet the baby's head. I think we should be able to check the purity and whether it's off...
Sammie, we shall have to call you 'The Amazing Sammie' if they expect you to be a magician! Hope today is better for you...
For myself, I have just found out that I am going to be given some more work, which is TURTELY unrelated to the work wot I already do, so that'll be interesting...watching this space...
Anyhoo, ChrissieS, always my dear x
Thank you Keith, EXACTLY. Not only the nail on the head but the hammer too! Gawd bless you guv'na. Big love (just because I can) XXXXXX
So, lastly, but always first...
Moose, have a BRILLIANT time! I'm sure there will be plenty of kayaking etc but please be sure to get your kix on root sicksty six.
Has anyone got the candles for the cake?
love
hazel
x
ps We tickled our taste buds with olives and a wee smidgeon of Garlic Bread (GARLIC, and BREAD???) then I had a Gardiniera Pizza with Anchovies, he had a Nostrana Salad, and we shared a bottle of that Peroni Nazurro beer...oh yes ChrissieS, so rude not to! Then we went to the pub for a quick one. Then we had a pint.
NC1? On a Tuesday morning? But of course...
Morning all :o)
Took me ages to get home last night but what do you expect when Sally Traffic tells you that the M6 is closed and all the traffic is being diverted through the village / town you live in!
(and there's another clue Hazel!!!)
I feel more positive today although the new chair saga rumbles on! Apparantly my new chair arrived whilst I was en vacances and it was the wrong colour so it got sent back....and they're sending a new one on Monday, 2 weeks before I leave.. That will be 19 weeks after the recommendation was made! RUBBISH
Sammie, if there's anything to be done I can help as my work seem to be leaving me an empty desk for the next few weeks!
Hope you;'re all OK,
Moose - have a fandabidoze time, enjoy your trip and we'll see you when you get back!
:o) Jo
Jo, until you tell me, I shall find things like this...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4121411.stm
I actually have no idea where from mind you, so you're pretty safe, all things considered...
Good Morning all! I'm definitely feeling better today.
Caroline - really good to hear from you. Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great day and that Mr Caroline will have something nice for you tonight. (oo-er, bunch up Hazel, make room for me!)
Sammie - holy hand grenades! You are the busiest girl on the planet! Good luck to you this week - you're gonna be knackered when it gets to Friday! Also, yes, I can imagine the house is quiet, but enjoy it while ye may! Your friend is going to find things very tough for a long time, but no doubt you will be there to help him. Also, terrible news about your cousin's baby - I hope things will be o.k.
Hazel - I'm glad you had a good time last night. Especially after what you were saying about your job. It's sounding very difficult for you at the moment - it must be bad if you are thinking of getting out before the end of next week. Really thinking of you on that score - it's horrendous when we are being p*ssed about at work, taking into account we spend almost our whole lives there!
Last but certainly not least - Moose, have a wonderful holiday! I hope you and Mrs Moose and the Mooselets have the time of your lives! We'll be thinking of you.
Everyone else - hope today is good to you. Be back later.
C xx
Sammie - crikey, I'm surprised the broom wasn't proffered so that you could sweep the blimmin floor at the same time as doing everything else! It's probably just as well that the house is quiet for you this week - at least you can unwind in peace when you finally get home from work! Take care xx
HL - fingers crossed that all goes well for you at work and glad you had a good evening .... garlic bread and Nostrana salad - i'm in heaven at the thought of it!!!!
Moose - have a wonderful time and get yer kicks wherever you can!
Caroline - happy birthday lovey and I hope Mr C has a big surprise for you tonight!!!
OK, make room for a minute secretary in NC1 please ....
jollygit xxxx
I'd just like to add a comment to that left by Jollygit...
WOOOOOO HA HA HA HA HA HA...(moustache twiddle)...HA HA HA etc etc
Am looking forward to my virtual pint of Scrumpy to celebrate Cazzers birthday....Did anyone bring any pork pie???
Am going to skive this afternoon too as I just can't be bothered with work - will pop to see my IVF friend I think and her new puppy :o) (under the pretense of being in a meeting for the afternoon of course!)
:o) Jo
PS - did you know that Jelly is both refreshing and nutritious, while counting towards your daily fluid intake??
Jelly is the future, sod the Garlic Bread!
hello mateys
bit late..sorry guys..have you all got yourself a drink? Nibble?
Well, Have been showered with presents from lovely family, and still more tonight, and lunch out tomorrow.
Thank you for your good wishes...I'm sure Mr C will have a gigantic surprise from me tonight...I can't think of anything saucy..but all of you are in the naughty corner..Roomm for a large one?!
See you later.... Loads of artwork to check....Lorks alordy, it should be illegal to work on your birthday
Hey, guess waht - my work collegues have just given me a cake selection! Gorgeous!
Cazzer xx
YAY for nice work colleagues who bring CAKE!!!
Happy Birthday Cazzer! :o)Jo
PS am enjoying my pints of zoider :o)
My system has been down. While you're there etc...
Pass the Scrumpy. Haven't had a tot of that for blimmin AGES...and Jo, I think there are pork pies in the fridge underneath the palm tree. I am tucking into some virtual sushi at the moment. Have never had sushi before, so thought it best not to go with the real stuff to start with.
Cazzer, please may I have the fondant, fancy?
...and at risk of repeating myself from a previous comment, I DO hope that whatever Mr Caroline has up his sleeve (heh heh) for later, it is wrapped correctly and has a BIG RED
ribbon round it.
love
hazel
x
iiiiiiiiii
<__________>
<__________>
C'mon Cazzer...BLOW!!!
The cake. Was a nice thought I thought. And just like most of my baking at home, didn't QUITE work...
Hey ho
Happy Birthday anyway. Sorry the envelope has wet sticky. Short notice purchase doncha know...
Awww Hazel - I think your cake is lovely! I like cakes that slope to one side!
Caroline - I am glad to hear your birthday is going so well. It's great to be spoiled, enjoy it all! And there always tonight .... stop it!!
Have just spoken to Ms S - she has received the results of her Standard Grades. 2's and 3's for everything. Except chemistry - that's a 5! Well, to be expected! I am over the moon for her, just so delighted. She effectively missed the entire 2nd year at High School due to illness and then lost so much confidence going back into 3rd year, we knew it would be a struggle for her. But, she's worked really hard and she's done so well. She is so, so happy, it's great! And her wee boyfriend is taking her out for dinner tonight to celebrate! Bless!
Jo, can I please have some of your cider? Or indeed anything from the HUGE amount of drink you have at home?!
C xx
VVVV quiet for a birffday nnnit?
Woss goin on billeeeee?
Snot fair.
Jozad the larst pokr pie.
Sorry I missed the party ...... ended up town for longer than expected, so I've missed me pork pie and zoyder - darn it!
Hope you had a wonderful time and Caro, have a lovely evening with Mr C and whatever he's got up his sleeve for you (ahem)!
Off to Rye tomorrer to meet my mum for the day so I won't be abart, but have a good day everyone and I'll try to catch you on Thursday when I'm in my new office at the Uni doing a new job - gulp!!!
jollygit xxxx
awwwh Hazel, what a luverly birthday cake, it's the thought that counts...it's super
Jo - smoked salmon nibbles?
How's that bump
Chrissie - skewered sausages? Chemistry, who needs that..unless it's with with that bloke, Gene Hunt from "life in Mars"
honestly girls, you've hardly made a dent in the € kitty behind the bar...Pint of baileys for everyone - no ice for Hazel
All my office collegues are laughing ay us having a modest party....Thanks for coming
Love
Cazzer
Cazzer - I'm here too! Happy Birthday chickadee!
Better late than never!!!
My last meeting cancelled, so I came home :-) very, very naughty, but I'm sick of being good!
Soooooo, I'll have a Pina Colada, and some lovely nibbly thingies that are 1000's of calories.
(Going to get weighed tonight, am sure I must have gained at least 40lbs since I last went!)
HL - sometimes, work is FAB and at other times, it REALLY sucks. Just keep smiling; they don't know ow lucky they are to have you!
Chrissie - FAB results for Miss S - you must be really proud! What pressie have you promised her?
All is well with the world (just really stuck it to my boss on the phone).
S xx.
P.S. The little cat is mugging my shoes!
Sammie, isn't it great you managed to get home early?!
As for Ms S, I said to her, there is no way I'm getting involved in promising anything. We'll see what happens. Of course, she then proceeded to tell me that all her friends were being promised money by their parents, if they got good marks. Well, that is just not how I operate. One of the guys in my office promised his son £20 for every "1" he managed to get - and he now owes the boy £80!!!! But I will buy Ms S something - no doubt another top or jeans, because apparently owning 30 tops and 10 pairs of jeans is not quite enough!
Have a good Tuesday evening everyone!
C xx
Chrissie - I can synmpathise!
My son was having a dry spell, try-wise a couple of years ago, so we promised him £10 for every try he scored. Great. Until...
Yes, you guessed it - he scored six in one match!!!! He was chuffed to bits and added the money to his laptop fund. (9 and he wants a laptop? He's saving for it himself.) However, I have now reduced the 'reward' to £5 per try!
Have a great night all, I have something speshull planned for the Special One and have had him on tenterhooks all day trying to guess what it is. He has no idea and I'm afraid, I'm NOT sharing here!!!
S xx.
Sammie, I just hope it involved, at the very LEAST, a feather boa and a ribbon. Anna only uses hers on a Monday eve, so it's available for hire the rest of the week...
Cazzer, SO glad you liked the cake. My Gran'ma used to make a speciality layer cake. So called because all the sultanas used to sink the the bottom...mind you, most of what I eat sinks to my bottom...
On that note
Good morning all and sundry
...and if I end up typing total rubbish, it is probably because I have fallen asleep on my key board...
qwerty
love
hazel
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Morning everyone
Like Hazel I am V tired today and my keyboard is starting to look like a comfortable place to rest my head!
Unfortunately when you then wake up you have ruined said keyboard with drool and you have a funny pattern all down the side of your face!
Went to see my IVF friend and it seems she is growing all the right bits at the right time so YAY!
Cazzer, I hope your birthday was fabulous and that you were well and truly ruined by Mr C.
And Chrissie ....... YAY, YAY, YAY. Time for a little relax before the next round!
IS it Friday yet (anywhere???)
:o) Jo
Good morning Jo.
If I were still employed by British Airways, I may be able to have worked out whereabouts in the world it might be Friday today.
I think you may possibly have to start flying to Australia, taking off on any given Tuesday, stop over in Kuala Lumpur for two hours, re-fuel at LAX, turn around and touch your toes (I appreciate in your current condition that this may be slightly uncomfortable), recite 15 Hail Marys, the captain is now donning his parachute, touchdown for at least 30mins in Papua, New Guinea, return your seat to it's upright position (again I appreciate in your current condition that this may be slightly uncomfortable) it may well be Friday somewhere.
In which case you can go home last Thursday.
At 4pm.
Hope this helps
love
hazel
x
...and now Ken Bruce is playing a track called 'Airport'.
Spooky...
happy birthday for yesterday caroline, hope it was lovely.
Wanted to take a brief poll if i could be so bold. Him in doors has been offered a job in Abu Dhabi..... i just dont think i want to go there, he is dead excited cos its loads of money and we could pay our mortgage off in 5 years time, but i just dont share that.
Has anyone been? Does anyone know anything about it??
xx
Good Morning to you all! I am only working until lunchtime today, so I'm feeling very smug. Sorry!
Hazel - speaking of spooky (coincidences, this morning I woke up worrying a wee bit about how my sister and I have not really been getting along recently. Then, Terry the Magnificent played "Private Dancer", Tina Turner. My sister bought me that record years ago! I know this sounds daft, but I took it as a wee sign. I have just spoken to her and we're meeting up for lunch, so hopefully everything is o.k.
Jo - re: Ms S - yes, I feel I can relax for five minutes or so! Friday is on it's way, patience, my friend!
Caroline - hope you had a wonderful day yesterday. How's the hangover?!
Sammie - are you aware that you referred to your "special friend" as "special ONE" yesterday? Just thought I'd mention it!
C xx
Anna - this is a tough one, isn't it? I take it you don't have children that you would have to uproot, so it would just be the two of you. Lots of money to be made obviously, which in five short years would see you sitting pretty. I don't know much about Abu Dhabi - would you have to cover up, head to toe? And worse than that, no alcohol?!
Seriously though, what about giving it a try. If it's really not do-able for you, you can always come back.
I'm assuming you will keep your house here, and your possessions. Mr S and I emigrated to the USA in 1979 "for ever". We sold everything for a song, practically gave everything away. We were back in a year because we couldn't get our Green Cards. It certainly was a challenge having to start from scratch, to say the least!
Good luck in making your decision. When would you have to go?
C xx
Oh blimey Anna.
Whether this may be possible in your situation I have no way of knowing...but a friend of my went out to Saudi a good few years ago, but only for three months at a time, coming home for 2-3 weeks, over about two years. His wife stayed at the house in England, and to all intents and purposes it worked really well. He earned a shedload of cash and bought all sorts of stuff as well as his house, but they both knew it was a finite thing.
Another friend of ours designs oil rigs for a living, and works from contract to contract and has had to go all over the world to work, all the while unattached, but he has always kept his house on in England, because he always wanted to come 'home'.
If you husband is being offered a short term contract, then I hope you can sort something out.
All I can say is maybe wait until his initial excitement has calmed down, and try to see if there is a way anything can be shared, and you can both be happy, for want of a better expression. Just try to make sure that you have a reasoned argument for not wanting to go, rather than just saying that you don't want to.
See if you can have a chat with his boss or anyone else from his company if they have been out there. They may organise flights for spouses or something? If there is someone else, if they are married or with a partner, see if you can meet up with the partner.
If it is any help at all, both of my friends were staggered by the amount of things there are to do in these places, in the evenings or on days off, which pretty much amounted to b9gger all...
Sorry if any of the above sounds preachy, it really isn't meant to! I've always said to the Badger that if he needs to work away then I'll still be here. Not so much a case of if I love him so I'm letting him go, more a case of letting him do what he needs to do to earn his living.
All the best babe
love
hazel
x
Anna - what a conundrum.... I'm not sure I could give a knowledgeable answer but I'll give it a go. Have you looked into what it would entail, you actually moving out there with him, where would you live, how would you live.
Some friends of ours went to Dubai last autumn to start a whole new life but they are coming back after only a year as they found it just wasn't for them. Luckily the wife has been able to pretty much walk back into a job where she worked before.
I would research the possiblity a bit and then see whether it would be possible for you to have a trial period (maybe take a sabbatical or something from work???) to see whether it's for you?
COuld you put up with it for a couple of years keeping your house in England and then almost pay off your mortgage??
A friend of mine had a partner who works in security in Iraq (ex forces). He works away for periods at a time then comes home for a few weeks. Often they spend the time he's home out of the country so he has to pay no tax.
Difficult times may lay ahead - Good luck working through it!
:o) Jo
Morning all, happy humpers to you all!
I went to the Gym last night, and discovered that they have got a new machine, it’s fantastic!
I was on it for half an hour or so, and got off feeling a little sick but satiated!
The machine does everything,
crisps, chocolate, little cheesey biscuits!
DD out
DD - now, THAT'S a Gym I want to join!
C xx
Anna - not an easy decision to make. I had a boyfriend who worked in Saudi for the best part of 2 years. Joining him wasn't an option, but he was able to come home every 3 months or so for a couple of weeks. That was manageable because we knew it was for a limited period (and seems to work for those with partners in the forces). At that time there were a lot of restrictions on what women could do and where they were allowed to go in Saudi Arabia - I don't know what it's like in Abu Dhabi. Like Hazel says, I'd try and get some information from his company, colleagues or their partners who have been there. Good luck - it's not going to be easy making the decision.
On a lighter note - these made me smile earlier. They are (apparently) genuine excerpts from Council flat tenants complaining to the Council about problems with their accommodation ...
1) My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2) He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.
3) It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
4) I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
5) I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
6) And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
7) I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
8) My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9) I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
10) Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11) 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.
12) The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
13) Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
14) I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
15) The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
16) Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
17) I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
18) Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
19) I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but still have no satisfaction.
20) This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
That reminds me ... Hazel, have you got your drier fixed yet? And Chrissie - what about your oven???
The cracked lavatory seat gets my prize...
The man came to fix the dryer last week, the very day after the badger informed our estate agent that it was broken.
We are now able to dry stuff. If anyone knows of any substance which can be added during the drying process which may help the clothes to stay just that little bit flatter, I'd be pleased to hear from you...
Thank you for asking.
Analog - love the funnies! And you are right ..... still no joy with the oven! And I just don't have time to chase this up today, so I'll have to call them tomorrow. Thanks for the reminder!
C xx
thanks all for your thoughts. I do have the mancub to think about as well, which is ok in that he isnt at school yet and we could come back for when he was due to go, but still - its a big move for such a little one.
The money is great, free accommodation and we would keep the house here and all our posessions but I have already slowed my career down a little to have a family, if we went there i would totally have to put it on hold until we came back. 3 - 5 years is a long time to be away from contacts, industry progression etc, and the creative industries over there are not particularly well developed - i could contribute positively to that in some respects, but the sort of work i do - probably wouldnt be well received by a country in such early days artistically speaking.
I guess this comes down to how much i want to risk losing a career that means everything to me - just to pay off the mortgage.....
Confused from Nottingham.
xx
Afternoon all,
I have been trying to make the time to blog but to no avail. ;-(
Time in at a premium here in work so please excuse my rather in and out approach to this site.
Anna, follow your heart. :-) I am of the take a risk kind of guy so I would probably go, Mrs B on the other hand is far to practical to just up and go and would think of all kind of “important” reasons why we should go or not. Good luck in your decision making. Xx
Caroline, many happy returns for yesterday! I do hope the BIG surprise was worth the wait ;-)
Annalog, very funny indeed.
Keep smiling one and all,
Keith the BigUn
Xx
P.S. Jo I thought you may appreciate this one…
The State of the NHS Explained
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.
Both subsequently died in the ambulance and the PCT set up an enquiry, which came to the following conclusions:
1. The 50 mile journey to the nearest casualty department was in the couples' best interests.
2. The fact that there was no local bed in which Jack could mend his head was unfortunate but no targets had been breached and he had been offered a choice.
3. The lack of vinegar and brown paper was not material to the man's death as NICE had not yet decided whether it was cost-effective and in any case both the brown paper nurse and the vinegar nurse were away on courses.
4. The GP was most to blame and should be suspended and referred to the GMC as he had:
a. Not reported Jack and Jill's lack of water to social services;
b. Failed to recognise that anyone going UP the hill to fetch a pail of water must be seriously demented;
c. Had not involved the Falls Coordinator which resulted in Jill tumbling after Jack.
Not caught up yet, will do readin innaminnit, but just wanna say...
GOOD LUCK TO JOLLYGIT!
...coz she's starting her new job today!
Good luck honey x
love
hazel
x
Hazel - thank you very much!!!! However, it appears that the people in the office who I've been working with aren't aware that I'm moving to another office, so I can't officially start the new job until they've been told! Honestly, office politics just do my head in!!!!!! So, for the moment I'm having to pretend that nothing has changed and must then look very surprised when I'm told to move offices ....... it's lucky I can be a bloody good actress at times!
I'll call by later to let you know if there are any developments!
jollygit xxxx
What a day so far - have actually been bombarded with work since play commenced! Am knackered!
Jollygit - poor you: all ready to go, go, go, and then to be told "well, actually, we've made an a*se of it"! Hope things get sorted out soon!
Anna - sorry I had forgotten about your wee mancub! I am with Keith on this - follow your heart. It will be telling you how you really feel, and then you have to go with that, no matter what. Thinking of you.
Everyone else - are you working in my office and I don't know about it? Is everyone as busy as me today?!
C xx
Chrissie - Hell NO! Am twiddling my thumbs still!
Although my chair has arrived so I have been fiddling with all the knobs and levers making my colleagues jealous - 2 weeks and 4 days of use for £300 - I love it!
Hope everyone is well this morning, I found a pub last night that sells good quality cider and would serve it to me in a wine glass - ACE!!
Jo, have you managed to fire yourself across the room yet?
Chrissie - I may be in your office, because although there's more than enough in my own I seem to be in several places at once today.
Shame about the new job Jollygit, but years of working in universities have taught me that "they" can mostly never organise a p*ss up in a brewery! They might have brains the size of a small planet, but common sense and organisational skills rarely intrude. That's why they employ us. It'll all be fine in the end ...
TELEGRAM FOR MOOSEBLOG:
You will be pleased to hear Jollygit has now moved offices, complete with pens, pencil case, diary and gonk STOP
The girls in her old office are missing her mainly because now they will have to do some work STOP
STOP
love
hazel
x
Thanks Chrissie and HL!
Analog - how true, how true!
Yes, I have now moved into my new office and the positive benefits so far are that i) it's downstairs ii) it's closer to the loos and iii) it's closer to the coffee shop!! S'looking good!!
This will hopefully be a good move for me .... I'll fill you in when I have more details, but I'm very happy about it all at the mo.
The sun's shining and all seems to be well on here.
Jo - enjoy your new chair for as long as you can!!!
jollygit x
Morning everyone - I see we have been a little light on the ground recently!
My excuse is that I'm trying to work as little as possible and try to skive off early in the afternoon to go home for a sleep! I figure that they do bugger all for me so why should I bother with them!!
My chair by the way is sooper dooper although I haven't yet pressed the big red button (in case of emergency). I can now recline at my desk and put my feet up!
Jollygit, I'm glad that the big move went OK, always good to be nearer the loos and coffee shop if you ask me. When I used to work at SHropshire COunty Council we had a trolley lady come round mid morning and mid afternoon selling all sorts of lovely goodies, in addition to the 'tuck shop', coffee shop and restaurant on site! No wonder I ate permanently when I worked there!!
Happy Friday all
:o) Jo
BOO!!!!!!!
I'm trying to see if there's anyone out there except for myself and Jo .....
Glad the chair's comfy Jo - don't press the red button for gawd's sake - you'll probably be rocketed across the room!
jollygit xx
Oh my god you made me jump!!! :-)
Jollygit, can you please stop creeping up behind me like that.
Anyhoo, good luck with the new job! Workplace politics can be such a bore can’t they, I am please it was sorted out so quickly.
Jo, enjoy the chair, even for such a short time. Has anyone been eyeing it up, ready to wheel it into their workspace the minuet you walk out the door?
At least it is Friday, I feel I need a rest after all of the work I have had to do this week. My fault for taking last week off I guess.
Keep smiling.
Keith the BigUn
xx
Jollygit - I've been and scoped out the place and all I can find is a few bundles of Tumbleweed being blown across the car park - do you think everyone's been invited to CLP's wedding except us???
:o) Jo
PS I'm glad your new job still allows some blog time!
I've never been caled tumbleweed before but you're right - my hair IS a mess and needs cutting.
Just popped in to say "mornin' all" before tackling a vast pile of photocopying. Back later having used up a small portion of rainforest ...
Hello everyone
first of all thanks again for your birthday greetings, I had a BIG surprise from Mr C.
..Do you want to know...?
well, Cath Kidston has produced a Gazebo in lovely rose fabric..I have covetted it, since it was launched at eastertime..but it was way too expensive..anyway, Mr C (after he'd give me quite a few other presents including spatulas, frige thermometers, pamper kit, beautful necklace...)He said have a look in his back passage ...OOOER! budge up....!
Actually, it's a passageway from the front to the back of the house..very handy for storage..ah hem!
and guess what was there..yes, the gazebo ( it had been greatly reduced in price) But we saw it was 4 metres length/width..and our hankie of a garden has a lawn smaller than that..O M G, what's a girl to do?
analog - great comments LOL, also on education...Mr C, he's a lecturer...my longstanding comment to him is ...I pay my taxes for you to have 100 days holiday a year! the holidays must addle the brain.
jollygit - how's new office - coffe shop yes..loos maybe not
Jo - Chair...fun, fun, fun (albeit a bit late)so make the most of it.can you put it in a cupboard, so it'll be pristine for when you return...otherwise you'll have another persons year long bum mark on it!
Keith- I'm with you buddy
Chrissie - celebrations went well I hope. I had a spooky co incidence on Mon - I have applied to go on a quiz show on BBC, it's all about lists/general knowledge..anyway they asked about the kind of lists I like..I said High Fidelity type lists...and guess what - the film was on on Monday night..spooky
Anna - do research, but think about it seriously..it would be liberating to be mortgage free in 5 years
Hazel/anon, hello lovely. Have you done Luke sky walker/obi wan kenobi jokes???? Luke is at a buffet, he has to eat some coleslaw..he can't decide which piece of cutlery to use. Obi Wan says... "Use the fork , Luke"
He's making Lasange.can't decide which layer is next...obi wan says.."use the sauce, Luke" Okay, I know R U B B I S H. Mr c thinks hilarious.
DD - don't get addicted to that new piece of equipment, or it'll not be worth going to the gym
Sammie - Pina colada....well, that's a interesting one - do you have to carve out a pineapple? Did you have a good time with beloved?
Everyone else...have a happy weekend
Love
Caroline xx
The good news is, it's Friday! The bad news is, it's only 10.55am!
Hope everyone is o.k. - we seldom see the blog so quiet! But there's quite a lot of members missing for one reason or another, I guess.
Jo - years ago I worked for a large insurance company and we also had a trolley lady who came round every morning and afternoon and there was also the most incredible canteen in the place. Unfortunately the food was fabulous, which really was the beginning of the end for me, weight-wise! Your chair sounds fab - just enjoy it for the next wee while - not long to go now until you taste freedom!
C xx
what the blinking heck is a "frige thermometer", I hate to think... It would be chilly though, wouldn't it! ... budge up again ( how sad to find your own typo funny)
love cazzer x
I found it funny too although I didn't want to bring attention to it!
Now you have I can laugh out loud trying not to wee myself
:o) Jo
Hello Jo, well, I'm glad you're amused too. However, having that bump would allow you to do the unthinkable anyway - don't hold it in if you don't have to! Or will you office mates think you're mad?
Cazzer. One of my colleagues gave me a lift to the bus stop the other day. We were discussing artists. He said 'Who's that bloke who paints elephants?'
About 10mins of laughing almost hysterically at the picture in my head (of a bloke clutching a pallet and brush, kneeling next to Nellie) later, I realised he meant PICTURES of elephants.
...and blimey heavens above, some bloke has just flown past attached to one of those motorised parachute thingamajigs! Jo, I think if you look hard enough, your chair probably does that too...or turns into a lifeboat or similar...
Anyhoo, I am bored witless today. The blokes are all 'meeting' whilst pretending to work, and probably not talking about my boss's upcoming wedding reception to which I am not invited as I would outshine the bride (nearly wrote outshite then!) apparently, so having cleaned and hoovered everything within a 40km radius, I am now bored.
...and for ChrissieS, just because I can, it is now 11.44.
My nose is running.
I think I shall follow it.
love
hazel
x
Message from the Pedantry:
Dear hazel. We imagine you meant 'palletTE'. We were wondering why a small structure formed of old bits of plank would be even vaguely amusing otherwise.
*****
Likewise we investigated FRIGE.
Caroline, it would appear that as long as these thermometers are indeed what we are all thinking they are, you are correct!
Courtesy of Acronym Finder.
What does FRIGE stand for?
Refrigerator (usually spelled FRIDGE; originally short for Frigidaire)
Thank you for your time.
Oh, and, Luke is having trouble stopping his video tape machine.
Obi Wan says 'Use the Pause, Luke'
Now this is all going to go terribly wrong. Am in NC1 for the forseeable anyway for typing outshi1e, so worserer can't hurt...
All my own work.
Luke can't work out what SOS means.
Obi Wan says 'Use the morse, Luke'
+
Luke is having problems with getting his cart started.
Obi Wan says 'Use the horse, Luke'
+
Luke is trying to interview Abba.
Obi Wan says 'Don't use the Norse, Luke'
+
Luke is worried that his driving is bad as he keeps going off the track.
Obi Wan says 'Use the course, Luke'
+
Luke keeps getting scratched while running across the heath
Obi Wan says 'Mind the gorse, Luke'
+
HELP ME OBI WAN KENOBE!
love
hazel
x
I don't think being permanently stuck in NC1 is doing you much good Hazel. The jokes get worser and worser ...
Have annihilated a few trees with my photocopying exploits and am now going to sit on the grass by the lake to enjoy my marmite sarnies. Does anyone want to join me and help fend off the ducks?
analog, am there as we speak dahling! Apparently ducks also explode if you give them alka seltzer, but if you just give them marmite it helps them stop being bitten by mozzies.
Have got small carry-out of honey mead in 'omage to CE, which I will bring. Also some cups.
Luke says to Obi Wan, 'Why does that man keep shouting out numbers?'
Obi Wan says 'That's the scores, Luke'
You are quite correct. They are getting worsererererer...
Will have to think of a Friday Pome to atone. Was rather proud of the Molly Malone one I have to say...
Keith - sorry if I made you jump!! Still, at least more of you have appeared to keep Jo 'n me company. Mind you, she's having a lot of fun with her new chair, I can tell !!!!!
Hazel - we're going to have to put a plaque up in NC1 with your name on it !!!!
Haven't got a clue wot I'm doing in the new job but hey, bulls**t baffles brains apparently, and there's plenty of both where I am, he he !!!
jollygit xx
Caroline and Hazel - just loving the Star Wars stuff - really brilliant. I'm very glad to see we have all perked up a little! Hazel - no jokes about all things "perky"!. (Those were the days!) Hellooo, Naughty Corner!
Caroline - thank you, yes, the celebrations went very well. And are still continuing .... dinners, lunches, flowers ..... you would think Ms S had graduated from Cambridge!
Hazel - can't you just show up at the wedding venue, dressed to the nines (you would sooo outshine the bride), pretending that you are attending?! Shake them up a bit!
On second thoughts .... perhaps not!
Time is moving along friends, it's now 12.58!
C xx
Luke is struggling with eating his soup!
Obi Wan says "Don't use the forks! Luke!
Luke is having probs with his BBQ!
Obi Wan says "Use the Pork, Luke!
Sorry!
ChrissieS, I would, but it's just the reception - the wedding is at Niagara Falls - but I expect I could go over in a barrel...
It's a myth that Marmite stops mozzies biting you. I eat more than my fair share of Marmite (sarnies most days) and the bitey blighters love me. Should I be rubbing it on my skin instead? That'd keep most things away. Including Mr L. Now there's an idea ...
All this talk of weddings reminds me…
At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their Wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is Concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend The entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger. Again he is ready for more "action". Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more "action". And, once more they enjoy each other. But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger."
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: "You mean I was here already?"
Keep smiling,
Keith the BigUn
xx
Keith, absolutely SOO-EFFING-PERB!
Fantastic!
Brightened up my tediously dull dull dull day...
1443 pip pip pip
love
hazel
x
Some thoughts for Friday…
Life is sexually transmitted.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred pounds and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence?
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Keith the BigUn
xx
P.S. sorry am just in one of those moods ;-))
analog, you may be slightly vitamin b deficient? I only say because it is supposed to be excess vitamin b secreted (or excreted) by the skin that makes a person 'smell' unattractive to our beloved skeeters...maybe you only ingest enough that your body doesn't need to get rid of it. Dunno. Maybe. I only know that since I've been taking 100mg Thiamin, I've not bin bit, and I used to be the mosquito equivalent of a free lunch, now I am no such thing!
...with regard to Mr Log...have you tried slapping about like girls fight? I find that this puts the badger off...once he's finished laughing usually...
please read the label
love
hazel
x
Hazel, as always you've made me smile. I shall have to try the girly slappy thing with Mr L and see what happens. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep a straight face though!
And I'll try the vitamin B this very weekend. Anything to keep the zanzari away.
It'll take a couple of days to kick in, and you really need to keep taking it. Holland and B@rrett do their own - 100 for about £3, or there is a multi-b thing they do too, which was on speshul, but may not be anymore. Apparently it is best to take at least 100mg per day, and I take more when away.
By the way, it does make your p-p a bit more yellow or green...just so you are forewarned...and what doesn't come out that way comes out through your pores. It doesn't alter your skin or it's sensitivity or anything like that at all...perfume still smells the same, and you won't smell any different to humans. Or Mr Log.
Why don't I know this about Vit B - I too am the equivalent of a free lunch to anything that bites - xept vampires, and I have a nasty reaction to being bit too.
Will toodle off to H&B to stock up for next year
Have skived the afternoon and am now sat in rocking chair by patio doors relaxing!!!
:o) Jo
Jo, that conjures up a lovely picture...you'll have to get Mr Jo to build you a porch with a swing...just as soon as you move to that ranch!
I got told by my lovely friend, Ali, about the Vit B and then did a bit of research, and asked my GP too. There are pharmacies that sell it, but they cost a FORTUNE, and the stuff in H&B is persackerly the same! I've not bin bit (and I used to get nasty nasty swelly big lumps entirely unpleasant and certainly not pretty) since 2004...my mum would testify to that as being a record...she had shares at the Calomine factory when I was little!
Rock on
love
hazel
x
Hello, I'm back...loving your work hazel..sorry I wasn't here to respond earlier,,here goes..
Luke is making a cake, and can't find any butter...Obi Wan says "use the Stork, Luke"
Luke is reminiscing about 80's spacemen..Obi Wan says "Think about Mork, Luke"
Luke and Obi Wan are in a restaurant, Luke can't decide whether to have the chicken sandwich or the bacon butty...Obi Wan says.."Choose the pork, Luke"
Luke and his wife are having marriage problems..Obi Wan says " get a divorce, Luke"
Obi Wan and Luke are trying to do some design on an apple Mac..Obi Wan says "better use Quark, Luke"
Obi Wan and Luke are at a party, Luke is juggling a plate of food, and a glass of wine and wants to eat someting. Obi Wan says "use the spork, Luke"
Have a great weekend
These are not the droids you are looking for
Lots of love
Caroline, Mr carolne and mini me ( on school hols) xx
"Monday, Monday, can't trust that day ......" right that's enough of that!
Didn't manage to get back to the blog on Friday, due to an unexpected very long lunch with a girl who used to work here - the directors joined us for a glass of wine and it just went on a bit - great! Back to the office at 4pm, tidied my desk, left at 5! Think there may be one or two things to attend to this morning!
Hope everyone is o.k. We had a good weekend, just the usual rubbish - shopping, cleaning, etc but in the main it was just nice to potter around. Mr S's sister and husband came to us for lunch yesterday - it was her birthday. So, we had some bubbly and to cut a very long story short, my prized possessions in the world - champagne glasses from 1965, given to me by my lovely older sister, were broken. My sister died in 1999 and I loved using those glasses as I always thought of her. I knew this would happen one day, but I'm really gutted!
Thanks for letting me ramble!
C xx
Oh, and Cazzer...Luke is looking puzzled whilst gazing up at the sky...'What are all those flying seeds?
Obi Wan says 'They're the spores, Luke'
The end.
We watched some Star Wars, attack of the clones or sunnink. I still have no idea what these films are supposed to be about...and the badger only really wanted to see Revenge of the Sith but we figured that was all a bit of a joke and wath jutht thumone with a lithp having a larf...
Had a lovely weekend thank you.
You?
love
hazel
x
Mornin' all. Hope your weekend was more exciting than mine. Cutting the hedge and disposing of the evidence took some considerable time.
Didn't manage to get back here on Friday afternoon as the boss came in at 3.30 to call an emergency staff meeting. It was compulsory attendance - no excuses! - and had to be held on the terrace of the nearest bar ... sat and chatted till 5pm (drinks were on him) and then went home. I like my new boss!
Had a lovely weekend thank you!
Spent some of Saturday going through three boxes of paperwork that I'd accumulated from three house moves. Filled two bin bags full of shredded paper and feel somewhat lighter for it! Yesterday had a 2-hour walk along the seafront and into town, partaking of a cuppa and a toasted teacake in the caff wot overlooks the sea ..... it was quayte nayce!
Not quite sure how often I'll be blogging at the mo, what with the new job that I'm doing at the Uni, but will dip in 'n art when I can.
Hope everyone is well.
jollygit xx
Morning, morning!
Apols for absence (not abcess), just been really busy again.
Night out on Thursday with suppliers - top night - ended with an invitation to Twickers!
Back home to curl up and die Friday, just for a short time (can't do these nights out until 4 am anymore!) and then prep for the return of my kids! They had a great time and look really healthy. They haven't stopped talking yet either!
Have had a top weekend - my nieces birthday party yesterday, where Special Friend met everyone (Except my mum, who had taken herself home in a tired strop!) and was invited out to another gathering in a couple of weeks time.
I'm seeing him tonight, which will be lovely, as I haven't had 'quality' time with him since last Wednesday.
By the way - K has been in touch - lots of times. His ex-wife has stolen £39k from him and the bank are falling over backwards to make amends. He's fishing, or fishy, not sure which, but he knows there's a certain someone in the picture....
Hope you all had fablious weekends,
S xx.
Good day all,
I hope you are all well!
Unfortunately around the Christophe and GOTS were tying the knot, I and Mrs D were having to say goodbye to our eldest puddy tat for the last and longest time.
Kinda ruins a weekend does something like that. In short she had lost a lot of weight over the past two weeks because she lymphoma of the kidneys! As she was nigh on 14 years old and we couldn't see her suffer for little long term benefit, we felt it kinder to say goodbye!
DD out and very subdued today!
PS Farewell my lovely!
DD - I'm so sorry about your puss-cat. It's horrible having to say goodbye to them .... my lovely tabby cat was 19 when she had a stroke. Usually at the vets she would be clawing at the window to get out, but on that occasion she just lay there so I knew the time was right. You've done the kindest thing for her, under the circumstances.
My heart goes out to you and Mrs DD ..... it's been a tough time for you recently.
A big hug {{{{ }}}} xxxx
jollygit xx
Good arfernoon everyone!
Am back and rested after Mum's op' and then last week the British Par3 (available on sky sports 21st-24th of August) last week. I know a lot's been happening but haven't managed to catch up yet apart from to say big hugs and commiserations to Mr & Mrs DD {{{{{xxxxx}}}}} it's not going to be easy but it will get easier in time.
Hope you're all well and enjoyed a little summer last week.
I'll catch up with y'all laters
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-x-
DD - sorry to hear about your lovely wee cat. But you have undoubtedly done the right thing, though it must have been difficult.
I have mentioned the cat I had a long time ago, Toots, and that we had to leave him with my sister in America when we had to come back to the UK. We last saw him 1983, when we were back there on holiday, and then he took off for pastures new. So, I never did find out what happened to him. I still think about him out there somewhere, but after 24 years, it's fairly doubtful, eh?!
We never forget our lovely animals, that's for sure.
C xx
DD and Mrs Dissing, so sorry about your puddy-tat. I kept hoping that Barney would get better, but they don't do they, and it is the saddest thing in the world to do the best for them.
Sending you lots of love to try to help your heartbreak
love
hazel
x
ps lyndyloo, glad you're feeling a bit better now - so how's yer ma 'n pa 'n roo 'n booboo?
pps there is a lot of talk on the other side about bucking (yes B-ucking) broncos and bruised thighs. I thought rather than risk being BPd, I'd just come by here and put myself straight in the naughty corner...
Helloooo HL! I'm feeling lots better thanks, just have the results of the biopsy for Mum to get through tomorrow where she'll get the all clear and we can get on with moving forward again! The bears are both great, I think the warm weather has suited them and Dad is just back to his normal growly moaning at the TV and the newspaper self again so he must be feeling better.
I'm loving this idea of bucking bronco's and bruised thighs! Did I tell you I met an explorer last week? He had enormous thighs! Ooooeeerrrr missuss!
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Lyndyloo - yes, sounds like your dad is back on track! It's great when you see them being grumpy again!
Can I join in, in the thighs debate? I know he was an idiot, but I used to dream of Will Carling's thighs! Ye gods! Anyone remember them?
Jollygit - hope your new job is o.k. You soon be on top of it... I mean the job.... you'll soon get to grips with it .... och, I'm off to the naughty corner!
C xx
Chrissie - I remember Will Carling and his particularly magnificent thighs .... oh I say!
As for being on top of the job, so to speak, I hope that's the case soon! I'm being bombarded with emails and am not quite sure what to do with them at the moment ... the Delete button's looking favourite at the mo!
Lyndyloo - glad your parents are OK and good luck with your mum's results xx
HL - I'm going to get a bench in NC1 with a plaque on it in your honour!! xx
jollygit xx
Afternoon all,
DD sorry to hear about your cat! I do not know much about cats but I guess 14 is a good innings not that make it any better I guess. I know the feelings when we have lost one of our dogs over the years.
Lyndyloo, I am pleased that your mum’s op went well, good luck for the biopsy results for tomorrow, fingers crossed hear just for you! XX
Keith the BigUn
Xx
Two builders (Dave and Stuart, other names are available) are seated either side of a table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.
The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit
Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Stuart: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet.
On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.
Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.
Dave: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
Dave: - Oh? What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Dave: - Er ... mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a pond? Which is it?
Dave: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ... built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married? And with a family?
Dave: - Yes I am married; I live with my wife and four children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Dave: - Yep! Five times a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often?
Dave: - Do what? Not me, mate!
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Dave: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive. Thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.
Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Stuart: - What's that then?
Dave: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Stuart: - Nope
Dave: - Well then, you're a w@nker
For the girlies!
Can I just suggest 2 other entries for Mr Fantastic Thighs of my lifetime! excluding myself in a kilt obviously! Mark "Sparky" Hughes, Former Man U, Chelsea, Barcelona, and current Blackburn Manager! and Kenny Sanson Former Crystal Palace, Arsenal and England Left Back! In my opinion as a purely heterosexual being of the male gender (swallows hard and straightens tie, and sporran) amazing thighs of the first order!
DD out
PS Thanks for your kind words over my Domino!
On the news this morning, caught the spokesperson for the anti-flying lobby speaking at the camp at Heathrow. She spent half of the interview complaining that they couldn't get their vehicles on site, and were having to unload their provisions by hand.
Erm, excuse me, your protesting about the amount of carbon air travel produces and your shipping supplies and provisions in by road going vehicles, and your protesting about the carbon footprint! Anyone else see the flaw here! Oh and at the risk of being accused of being an -ist, judging by her accent she was obviously not from the UK!
Don't let a little thing like facts get in the way of moralising!
DD out
PS Up where the air is clear!
Happy Tuesday!
DD - glad to see that appreciate a good pair of thighs. Even on men!
We are having one of those mornings where the bosses are behaving like twits. I will NOT swear! Both were away golfing all day yesterday, coupled with the fact they were in the pub all of last Friday, so all in all it's been a while since either of them did any work! This has resulted in them running around this morning as though they are preparing for George Bush arriving! Or someone important.
I'm just keeping busy, out of the way of the traffic. Of course, any minute now, one of them will say "have you done ......?" and that will be my cue to lock myself in the loo! I hate days like this!
Hope everyone is o.k.
C xx
It's alright everyone you can relax now
I'm Here!!
Hope you're all having a fabby Tuesday - mine is rubbish but I'm loving my work chair!!
:o) Jo
Obviously I'm here on my own but hey - party on!!
:o) Jo
Not quite on your own Jo - just dropped in and by gum it's quiet ... Has everyone gone into hibernation now that winter's here?
JO! Will you quit twizzling round on that fancy chair woman, you're making me dizzy!
That last comment didn't come out quite right. Before the pedantry turn up I'd just like to clarify that Jo is not twizzling round on a dandified female person in charge of a meeting, but is a woman in charge of a new and technologically advanced seat with a rotational mechanism. I think.
Afternoon all,
Do you know I have just posted a comment on the other side! That is the first time since the last time (which was a long time ago!”). Still not a big thing I guess just to me it feels like a new start!
Anyhoo, I would like to post on the subject of thighs! I grew up longing after just the glimpse of Linda Lusardi’s thighs! The closest I get to a thigh now is BBQ chicken!
Later,
Keith the BigUn
xx
Oh yes Sorry Jo I’m a round but there is no need to be personal. ;-)))
Pleased the chair is still doing its stuff.
Keith The BigUn
xx
Hi Keith - I saw your comment next door - good to see you there. Weren't you one of the very first bloggers that CE mentioned on his show? It all seems like five minutes ago ..... and then it seems like it happened ages ago! A LOT has happened in the past year!
And, it has to be said, Linda Lusardi is still looking pretty good!
It's still one of those funny days today at work, not to mention outside which looks like the end of the world may be nigh! The sky is very unfriendly! Just can't want to get home and into my jammies. I know how to keep Mr S interested!
C xx
Chrissie - I tend to get into me jammies as soon as I get home as well!!!
Sorry I haven't been around much today ... the two of us are moving to a temporary office for a couple of weeks before going to a 'new' office in a couple of weeks' time. This will now be my fourth move in three months and hopefully the fifth move will be me last!
So, on with the packing up of files that I've not even looked at yet. Hey ho!
jollygit xx
Chrisie, yes I was amongst the first of the bloggers on the other side certainly the first week. I did contribute almost every day and used to post a joke or two. Through some of my troubled times with cancer Chris even dedicated a show to me as I posted that I had received some good news on the blog. The show was dedicated to me “The BigUn “ under the title of “we all want to live forever” brought a tear to my eye then (as it does now to be honest) Strange to think back now as his was the first ever blog I ever contributed to on a regular basis. Ah memories!
Keith the BigUn
Xx
Note to self: Try to get into the wife jammies when I get home, I do hope she will not scream too loud! ;-)) I am sure she thinks I have changed my name to gerroff!
I though Jo may appreciate this, anyone else is welcome! :-))
A MOTHERS TEACHINGS
1. TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me."
6. FORESIGHT.
Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17 RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck like that."
19 ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. JUSTICE.
One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
How long have they been selling chicken in B&Q?
All the time they have been selling other fowl goods!
Linda Lusardi would appear to be in Emmerdale at the moment. Not that I watch it, but the badger caught a glimpse of her name in the credits...she is a very nice lady in akshull fact...I met her when she was in working in the theyetter dahling...I have no recollection of her thigh region though...
On another point entirely, the 65mph winds appear to have detached my birds nuts.
I'll be in NC1 if anybody wants me...
love
hazel
x
Hazel
How's the bird coping without said nuts?
And how did you know they'd been detached, I've never seen any birds nits before - but thanks to google images.......
I still can't see them as apparantly they are inside the body - well I guess that helps with the aerodynamics!
Must have been a good blow that took them off"!
:o) Jo
PS - any room for a little one - and it's huge mother in NC1???
Obviously I meant NUTS, but I have never seen a bird with nits either if that helps.
:o)
Hazel - helloooo, we missed you yesterday, tootsie!
Scotland was supposed to be blown off the map yesterday, but for some reason we got away with it! Who said, "damn and blast" ??!
I really don't want to be an old goat, but can I ask, did anyone hear Sarah Kennedy on Monday? She was hammered! I could hardly listen to her - it was that bad! If you missed it, do yourself a huge favour and Listen Again! Problem with her sinuses? I've got to get myself some of that!
C xx
I guess birds would have special shampoo? Or one of those close-toothed combs? Or is it just cocks that have combs?
As in coxcombe?
Or is that in Devon?
Move over Jo...I hope you've brought a flask, unless you don't mind ice-free JD?
Gooood Morning everyone!!!!
It seems that all of your kind thoughts and wishes have done their job and my Mum has been told that although the tumour that they discovered in her left breast was indeed a stage 3 cancer (that's the worst kind) all of the lymph nodes that they took out from her armpit when performing the op were clear. This means that she doesn't have to have any kemotherapy or radiotherapy she just has to take tamoxifen and go for yearly check ups with the consultant! YIIIPPPEEEE!!!
I took us out for lunch after we got the news and couldn't take the big grin off my face all afternoon. As you can imagine a huge weight has been lifted from us all and we now intend to make sure her recovery is as swift and complete as it can be. In the meantime she's having a fitting for some new bras this afternoon and gets a new falsie on Friday. It's all very exciting stuff you know.
Thanks again for being so supportive for me. It really is appreciated more than you can imagine.
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-x-
Lyndyloo - My Auntie has been through Chemo and radio therapy after having a lump removed (My grandmother died of breast cnacer in the late 70's)
I'm glad your mum doesn't have to go through that as I think it really started to take its toll, although she did have a fab wig!
Wish your ma good luck with the falsie fitting, is she going to stay her normal size or bump up to Jordan proportions???
:o) Jo
Lyndyloo!! Fantastic news!
Your mum and dad must be so relieved and as for you - well I can imagine you are over the moon with relief and happiness!
I've got a big smile on MY face now!
C xx
Lyndyloo - what fantastic news!! I'm so pleased for you all and can imagine just what a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Well done Lyndyloo's mum xxxx
jollygit xx
BTW - have just fallen in love with Mr November - thanks Lyndyloo!!!
Oh, lyndyloo, that is superb news! BIG LOVE to your mum! (and dad too) (oooh and the bears...!) You'll have to bring her to London to Rigby and Peller once she's comfortable enough to travel!
...and special big love to you XXX
love
hazel
x
An aside...
My chair, and indeed my desk and everything in the office just started shaking and vibrating and there was this massively deafening noise.
An earthquake?
No.
Burly man with industrial strimmer.
C-o-m-e B-A-C-K!!!!!!!!
Great news Lindyloo - bet that's a weight off your mind.
We could do with a few more burly blokes round here - strimmers optional (and largely unnecessary 8 floors up unless the shagpile carpet starts growing).
Does anyone know the collective noun for a group of blokes in white hard hats, rigger boots and hi-vis waistcoats? (they are wearing other clothing as well, but there appears to be some uniformity in their outerwear.) There were 6 of 'em on the roof below my window just now.
analog - If you enjoy your soft drinks, that would commonly be known as a 'Diet Coke Break' of blokes in white hard hats, rigger boots and hi-vis waistcoats?
However, if you prefer your music a little more Hard House...a 'Tidy Boys' of blokes in white hard hats, rigger boots and hi-vis waistcoats?
...or if you're where I am, a more or less everyday occurence...
Message from the Pedantry:
analog. We would consider a roof to usually be above a window. We are confused as to the architecture of your place of work. Is it still in an unfinished state? Or are you suspended in some way above the main body of the work force environment?
We await your reply.
In the meantime we appreciate the mention of 'shag pile'. We do not get many larfs at the Pedantry. That will keep us sniggering for many a long while yet.
Message for the Pedantry ...
My place of work is never finished. Just when you thnk they've done they demolish a bit and start building something new. There is a roof above my window (well there is another layer of offices directly above and they have a roof). My office is on the 8th floor of the tallest building on the site - the immediate view is of rooftops of the surrounding buildings, then you can see the lake and trees and ducks and on a clear day you can see for miles. It's rather pleasant. But with a lot of stairs!
We don't actually have shag pile - I lied about that. But at least it made you larf. We have the usual industrial strength carpet that should have been replaced several decades ago.
Or my alternative answer to the Pedantry is ...
How did you guess about my elevation above the normal work force environment? My desk is in a large wicker basket attached to a rather fetching rainbow-striped tethered hot air balloon. Some of my colleagues talk so much of the stuff we can stay suspended for days without having to light the burners ... You do need a long extension lead for the computer and the seagulls divebombing your desk for jammy dodger crumbs can be annoying, but you learn to live with it.
analog. Would your place of work be a rather satisfyingly laid-out village named 'Milton Keynes'? We only ask as we, at the Pedantry, had a pleasant day out there once. We remember trees ducks and a lake.
If you require anecdotal evidence, we are permitted to inform you that we parked by a roundabout. Later, however, the driver of the charabanc could not remember which roundabout so we had to hitchhike home using our collective thumb. We had a joke then too. It is a good job we are not cats as they do not have opposable thumbs and would not be able to return to our habitation.
What larks we are having today. We are very much enjoying the vision of you being suspended from a rainbow-coloured balloon.
Milton Keynes? Purrleeese ... No! I used to live and work very nearby there and didn't take to the place I'm afraid (sorry Dissing Dave - don't mean to cause offence). Those roundabouts damn nearly done for me!
My current location is on a hill on the eastern edge of the beautiful city of Bath - not that its very lovely at the moment as the precipitation has reached monsoon proportions and we're in the middle of a VERY loud thunderstorm. Have had to lower the balloon and take cover I'm afraid. The lake and ducks and trees are a constituent part of the campus on which I work.
Lyndyloo, fantastic news, a big BigUn {{{hug}}} to you and yours!
Sorry I have not been around today but I have been on the golf course! First time in nearly three years! I am aching right now so gawd only knows how I will feel in the morning. Better rush off home so that Mrs b can give me a good rub down with the sporting life. :-)))
Keep smiling!
Keith the BigUn
xx
While we're on the subject of where we all live I thought you might be interested in the fact that I may get caught up in some V traffic on Friday as I'm trying to get home.
Cryotic huh?
:o) Jo
Woah Analog! No offence taken!
Living in MK was borne out of a number of factors. As close as I could afford to live to get to work, in a house that I wanted, but with pleh-he-nty of entertainment facilities nearby and still easy (relatively) access to Londinium for work and pleasure!
Has anyone seen the garter recently, I know I had it on as a headband at one point, but I'm sure I saw Gingembre wrapping it around some unmentionables!
DD out
Cryotic. Isn't that when they freeze your head until they can work out what you died of? Which usually appears to be a severed head.
V traffic. If I had a scooby diddly-i-do doo where V is gonna be...but then I'm cr@p at clues...so all I can say is, Jo, you won't be receiving the lovely F&M basket that I've ordered for you. A bit like S&M but with more wicker.
So, Thursday stretches ahead. What can it hold? It it the lovely boss's last day before his holiday (and wedding in Niagara Falls) so he is already wearing his holiday pants. My colleague (boss-in-waiting) will be donning his little hitler hat just as soon as my boss leaves, so next week will be tres interesant mes petits...regardez c'espace...
...and have no idea why have gone all French. Apparently he is going to the USA bit of NF not the Canadian bit...which isn't French anyway...
hey hoe
love
hazel
x
ps I have no interest in knowing where the garter ended up if it's been around a policeman's truncheon...
Happy Thirsty Thursday everyone!
Actually, I AM quite thirsty already!
Very funny comments yesterday, just managed to read them. I was absent for the afternoon due to an appointment with a guy trying to fix the oven. (This has been going on for three weeks). Well, the oven is kaput. Will cost a minimum of £100 to fix, so he is suggesting a new oven. Will the Landlord go for this?
In the meantime, someone mentioned to me that wee portable ovens can be purchased somewhere, so I have to look into this. Apparently if the Landlord decides to replace the part only, it may take 12 weeks!! Ye gods, I can't face another grilled pork chop!
Hazel - I know exactly what you mean about your colleague just desperate to become the boss. Give some people a wee bit of power and it just corrupts them completely. At one point in this office, a couple of years ago, we had FIVE bosses and two secretaries. Talk about too many Chiefs and not enough Indians! Usually when the "Hitler" stuff starts in here, I adopt my "you really are an idiot" look and, in the main, it does stop them in their tracks!
Have a good day everyone.
C xx
ChrissieS, it's gonna be about that much anyway babe!
http://www.argos.co.uk/webapp/wcs/
stores/servlet/Search?
storeId=10001&catalogId=1500000701&
langId=-1&searchTerms=oven
Hazel - thank you! I didn't really know where to start, but I've had a quick look at Argos and you're right - they are just as expensive! However, there's a wee cracker - oven only - for £45 so I might go for that.
This Landlord we have is fairly difficult and anything we have asked to be fixed takes for ever. No way am I living for 12 more weeks without an oven!
(Yes, I know there are more important things going on in the world - sorry to be so self-indulgent!).
Thanks again Hazel.
C xx
Hellooo lovely peeps!
Chrissie I would suggest investing in an electric wok. Xhttp://www.edirectory.co.uk/pf/880/mia/pid/4075200
Can cook lots of lovely goodies in one of these without the aid of a hob!
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Lyndyloo,
Just had a look at the wok - looks great and there would be so much I could use it for. Thank you for the tip!
I will present Mr S with both options this evening and get his opinion. I'd better do it while there is no football on, and certainly long before House because speaking during either of these is futile! I mean, the house could burn to the ground, but if the TV is showing either footie or House, then it's impossible to reach Planet Mr S!
Thanks Lyndyloo.
C xx
Tis a bit of a slow day today. I have just spent the last half an hour downloading Mactaggart tartan and making cut out kilts and sashes which I've carfully glued onto my fuzzy felt wedding card for my friends who are getting married next weekend on the Isle of Isley (v. excited about going that far north) and have just finished the job off with a cut out little sporran and a scottish love poem inside! Ahhhh! I hope they like it.
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
och Lindyloo that sounds lovely. Haven't seen fuzzy felt in years. They make some nice whisky on Islay apparently. should be worth a visit!
Chrissie - we had an awkward landlord some years ago - he would never get things fixed. He only mended the kitchen floor when one of our friends trod on the dodgy bit by mistake and fell right through to the space underneath! He had to replace the lino as well which didn't go down well. After we moved out the new tenants seemed to get things mended without any difficulty - then we found out that one of them worked for the Inland Revenue and had dropped it into conversation with him. As all rent was paid in cash without a proper rental agreement he was keen to keep her on his side!
Oh lyndyloo, you've made me go all crap and girlie now! Mind you, there is WAY too much testosterone around here today for my liking...and not quite enough burliness...
Have decided am going as Cheerleader from Heroes to our friends Heroes and Heroines party on Sat. Just have to try to attach wood to neck, and find suitable skirt wear. Nowt like a bit of short notice.
...and ChrissieS, you be as self indulgent as you like! I am.
So what I actually meant to say WAS...
Lyndyloo, that is such a fab thing to do for your friends and it sounds like a real treasure! I haven't made a proper card in YEARS so all credit to you, lovely girl. That'll be the one they keep, you know! What a lovely thought to put a poem inside too.
I too am having a slow day. Well, bits and pieces, here and there, nothing I can pin down, and certainly nothing I can attach with glue to anything...
...but definitely a bit fuzzy...
love
hazel
x
Helloo everyone .... I haven't been able to blog at all so far today as I've been packing up my meagre possessions and moving offices. The lady I share the office with left at lunchtime for a long weekend away and I've had to pack her stuff too .... we're now in temporary offices for at least two weeks (back in the office I was in originally, so did I imagine the last six weeks or what?!), after which we'll have to pick it up, pack it up and do it all over again - for the 5th time in three months. I'm telling you, I'm knackered now!
Glad everyone's well.
Lyndyloo - your about-to-be-married friends will be thrilled to bits with your card, especially the thought that you've given it. What a luvverly friend you are xx
Right - got to unpack said boxes now and will try to squeeze a cuppa in somewhere before I leave at 4.30pm.
Catch you tomorrow, hopefully, when I'll have broken out of cardboard city that is my corner of the orifice!
jollygit, wrestling with parceltape, felt pens and labels xx
And now it appears I've upset someone on CE's blog ...... ah well, it's nearly Friday!
jollygit xx
Not only you jollygit ;-)
I have composed a reply and am just considering whether or not to post it as it is quite rude!
I do not know about you but I have taken this attack on the two of us rather personally?
Mmmmmm now what to do! ;-)))
Keith the BigUn
xx
Keith - thanks for that - I'm glad I'm in good company!!!!
I'm afraid I've taken it rather personally too, despite telling myself that it's just not worth it. My fingers are itching to reply but I guess that's what they want!! Still fuming ... and thinking ....
an undecided jollygit xx
Jollygit and Moose - I know! I am raging too, and had all sorts of things to say. But I have commented to the effect "welcome back, it's been a long time"! I really think - treat this nutter with the contempt they deserve!
And let's face it - the individual involved is reading this now! He/She knows full well where the "other side" is!
C xx
P.S. Lyndyloo, I would love to be able to make someone a home-made card - well done!
Ha, ha!
My problem is that this individual decided to post under the pseudonym of “Anonymous” when they seem to have a long standing knowledge of the blog and must be a know contributor to us. I did not think that my first post in ages on CE was in any way going to get this response otherwise I would not have bothered.
Do you know there is a devil in me that want a fight, and a coward in me that wants a quite life!
Ini mini miny moo what should this BigUn do?
Well I have made my decision....
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Now lets see if it appears! :-)
Keith
xx
Keith - well said! I couldn't have said what I wanted to anywhere near as eloquently so thank you. Mwah!! xxxxxxxx
jollygit
Dear Anonymous
nobody cares
love
hazel
x
Is what I thought would be a good idea to write when I was prizing the badger's elbow from my eye socket at about 4am this morning. It's a b8gger when that happens isn't it. The thinking of things in the night time I mean, not the badger's elbow thing. Although that's a bit of a b'stard as well.
Hazel - I got accused of running Mr Jo over in the night - I didn't think I was *that* large but obviously I resemble a steam roller and he's been too polite to say so!
Hurrah for Fridays :o) Jo
G'morning and TFI Friday! We've got 'im indoors' mum and brother coming to stay tonight until Sunday tea-time, and my mum and dad visiting for the day tomorrow, so the house has had to be cleaned like it's never been cleaned before ..... it's the first time our families will have met so that should be interesting!!
Anyhoo, I'm hoping today will be calmer, having moved office yesterday and I've just about managed to find everything! Roll on 4.30pm .............. oh no, I've got to do a massive shop at T supermarket after work - oh bum, I'd forgotten about that.
jollygit xx
Morning all,
I apologies for my outburst on CE last night but Annon got right up my nose, so to speak! I did feel better once I had written it but bow to Hazel who is indeed correct when she says “Who cares!” xx Just coz I can xx
I will add this little joke in a vain attempt to get into the NC whilst there is still room (as long as I can get out for the weekend).
Laters
Keith the BigUn
xx
In the dead of summer a fly was resting among leaves beside a stream.
The hot, dry fly said to no one in particular,
"Gosh...if I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."
There was a fish in the water thinking,
"Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him."
There was a bear on the shore thinking,
"Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches that fish will jump for the fly...
And I will grab the fish!!"
It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich....
"Gosh," he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches and that fish leaps for it that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch."
(Now, you probably think this is Enough activity on one river bank,
But I can tell you there's more ....
A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking,
"Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches and that fish jumps for that fly..
And that bear grabs for that fish. The dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich."
A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought,
(as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular river around lunch time)
"Gosh ... if that fly goes down three inches and that fish jumps for that fly and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter shoots that bear and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich then I can have mouse for lunch."
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water. The fish swallows the fly...
The bear grabs the fish.
The hunter shoots the bear.
The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich...
The cat jumps for the mouse ...
The mouse ducks ...
The cat falls into the water and drowns.
NOW, The Moral of the Story....
Whenever a fly goes down three inches,
Some pussy is gonna be in serious danger.
Big Un!
I'm just luuuurrrrvving your work!
Did I tell you I have GOTS status? Or was that on the other side? And HL you're right "who cares indeed?"
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Big Un - I love it!
My god my workplace is sooo dull!
:o) Jo
Hiya guys,
Well, we made it through the week - it's been another cracker! Keith - I thought your reply on CE's blog was absolutely spot on. And quite restrained, given the circumstances!
Jollygit - how incredibly brave of you to have the "in laws" for the whole weekend! I am guessing they live quite a bit away from you, which explains the long visit! My very best wishes to you! (Actually, I'm sure they are lovely people!)
We have a really quiet weekend ahead which I am delighted about. I am going to my sister's on Sunday to have a glass of champagne and scones on behalf of our lovely brother who died a year ago tomorrow. We like champagne and he loved scones! We miss him so much, what a really great guy he was.
As always, thanks for listening.
C xx
Morning! It's FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I've been away - damn work demands, etc....
Here's a dilemma for you....
After 2 years of separation, it is possible to get a 'quickie' divorce. This morning, I received divorce papers from my ex, that he has drawn up himself. In them, he states that we separated in March 2005 - 10 months before we actually did!!! Of course, I want the whole mess over and done with as quickly as possible - but I can't lie - would you?
S xx.
Chrissie, I think that's a lovely idea, and as long as you have clotted cream and Jam the scones will go ace with the Champagne.
As for Sammie - I'm afraid I couldn't lie, it would really worry me and then I'd end up brooding on it and probably end up telling the truth anyway! Can you draw up your own divorce papers??
Also if you're truthful then it exposes him to be the lesser person and you to be the virtuous one (should any impressions like this be needed in the future).
Does that make any sense
To quote Hazel
Who Cares
:o) Jo
Keith,
FAB joke as usual!!!
Btw - just posted a response to Anonymous, as I felt I had to, as they mentioned 'the other side'.
I hope it is taken in the spirit it was written.
S xx.
Chrissie - thankfully the 'in-laws' are lovely people, and coming from the midlands they really enjoy their few days by the sea.
I think the champers and scones is a great idea xx
Sammie - no, I wouldn't be able to fib either. Presumably the two years is up in Jan 08 which isn't that far off. I've done a DIY divorce before and I'm not sure anyone actually checks dates, just that you've both agreed on things, but probably better to be safe than sorry.
BTW - I have put a weeny apology next door, just in case I did infer 'cliquiness' next door - hope that's an end to it now.
jollygit xx
Keith - your jokes are priceless! I'm glad to say you are on top form.
Jo & Jollygit - thank you for support on the scones! It just seems the right thing to do!
Can I just say hi to Amanda - she has been having a lovely holiday and unbelievably, that's their two weeks holiday over. How can it have gone so fast?!
Sammie - I could not lie on an official form - it would bother me so much and I would worry that it would come back to bite me! It's really boring, but honesty is always the best policy!
C xx
Sammie- I couldn't lie on a legal form either, it would be setting a precident which could be referred back to at a future date.
And jollygit, good apology next door... 'nough said.
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Afternoon all,
I am pleased the joke went down so well!
I thought I would pop back in to say to wish everyone a good weekend! My boss is away (actually he retired last week and no replacement nominated just yet, so that leaves me in charge and guess what I am going to give myself the rest of the day off! ;-)
Be good, if not be careful or at least lucky!
Keep smiling
Keith the BigUn
Lyndyloo - thanks x
Well, the offices here are deserted except for myself and a colleague, so we're just going to finish our cuppa and then clear off .... hopefully then I can get the shopping done and be home before the in-laws arrive.
Have wonderful weekends everyone
jollygit xx
Anyone still here?
S xx.
Sammie, I'm getting here really late to the party...the first time I got divorced, he lied, and they found out, and it was only by about 25 days. No penalty, they just said we'd have to go through it again.
Thanks for that - it's what I was concerned about. I called my dad in Crete and had a chat with him about it. My ex is a bit of a bully you see and I just went to pieces this morning when I realised I couldn't sign.
I'm seeing a solicitor next week and she's going to write to him on my behalf. It's all above board then...
S xx.
Sammie - well done for getting in touch with your lawyer. It is very bad form from your ex, so you are doing the right thing.
To one and all - thank you so much for this week. Have a great weekend and see you all on Monday.
C xx
P.S. Moose - we MISS you! x
My o my. I is well late innit. Evans above. Big'Un...you can have another star for your badge...
I've missed too much today, and am REALLY hoping I can get off soon...
Have fabulous weekends everyone and Love to you all, and just because I can, I'm gonna take my teeth to Keith's garter...as I'm sure he's got a cheeky one...
Farewell from the Naughty Corner (Am now applying for dual nationality) and lyndyloo, you be good and careful! If you can't be good, then make sure you're REALLY good...
love
hazel
x
Jo. Please ensure reverse beeper is on when turning over. In the meantime, I may be going to this party as Cheerleader with Eyepatch...jim lad...
ps isn't Moose home this weekend? We ain't gonna know ourselves.
Nil bastardi carborundum
Well fellow bloggers - it's here - knock off time on an August Friday... I have a feeling many of you have knocked off already - but that's what Fridays are all about.
I have an itsy bitsy test to complete for work (not a pregnancy test - for goodness sake!) at 17.30 PRECISELY and then I too will be orff.
Seeing Special Friend tonight for salmon and wine. We're both skint, so will have a quiet weekend watching lots and lots (hopefully) of comedy dvd's. I watched 10 mins of Friends this morning and had forgotten how much it used to make me laugh.
First up tonight is Eddie Murphy's Raw, washed down with some toe curling, cringing moments from The Office. If we're up to it - Ferris Buellers Day Off for afters, well, not for afters, that's later, but, omg - you know what I mean!!!! (V flustered and red faced now!!)
Whatever you do this weekend - ENJOY IT!
Love to you all,
S xx.
Hello Chaps and Chapesses
Cazzer here
well I;m too late to join in the fun, it seems like fridays will be my blogging/commenting day, but not until later. Work is at a tipping point of becoming unmanageable, but hey ho, I actually get paid a lot for what I do, but work bl**dy hard for it though!
I was watching Disney channel today ( a cuddle on the sofa infront of the TV - with wee one- what joy) and Hannah Montana went to a "stuff your own Moose" shop ( I laffed and laffed - it was after 5 (just) and I was drinking a wee gin and tonic. And the cast started taking about and naming famous Mooses - for example The only hi karate expert with antlers -
Moose Lee HIIIIIIYAH!
The well loved Vintage US TV show with velvety skin -
I Love Moosey.
And the girl herself - Hannah Moosetana
So I though of a few other ones:
That tap dancing/game show host with cloven hooves
Moose Forsyth. Good game good game
That film, with growing bosums on Mrs Moose, Jen Aniston
Moose Almighty
Staring in Die Hard in the Canadian Wilderness
Moose Willis
and finally, my favourite show, and indeed the Harem...
Hazel, Chrissie, Jollygit, Jo, Sammie, lyndyloo, Susan, MWK, Anna, Analog, Amanda, Gaby, eg(scotland) and all those gone before and me ( sorry DD/Keith/Dr J Mc/ Mr C/MfR)
- M O O S E W O M E N !!!!!!!
Well, I thought it was funny ( I would though - those wee gins don't half mount up)
Have a lovely weekend..maybe will see you at back end of next week ( sometimes I look in, but no time to comment
Lots of Love
Caroline xxxx
Caroline, gawd bless yer darlin! I have similar experiences whilst drinking gin. I don't have it very often, but do tend to have rather a lot when I'm on hols with my mum...51/2 weeks and counting...so perhaps I will have to start working up to a level at which I can keep up...
Anyhoo, this party was fab fun! There were gladiators, warriors, cave men, cave women, xenas, and me, the cheerleader who saves the world, and out of the about 40 people there, only TWO of them watch heroes. I awarded myself the prize for most original costume though, and the heros audience will go up by about 38 this wednesday...I did have to remove the stick after a while because it kept getting stuck in the blind.
But that's not for here.
Sammie, sounds idyllic...hope it was...
GOOD MORNING EVERY ONE!!!!!!!!!
love
hazel
x
Hazel I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope your outfit was suitably peppy though and you didn'y let anyone else get their hands on your pom poms (or only those you know well!).
I baked for Britain yesterday although the oven was too hot for my cake so it didn't really rise very well. It's currently in the freezer until after the baby is born - I want people to think I am a domestic goddess and have time to bake straight after the birth!!
Oh well - only working tomorrow morning, Wednesday and Thursday this week, then Tuesday and Wedneday morning next then THAT'S IT - YAY!!!
:o) Jo
Hello and Happy Monday (how can it be Monday again?)
Jo - It's incredible to think that you stop work after next week! Then you'll have a wee bit of time to yourself to get organised for the Big Day! Have you been doing a lot of baby clothes shopping/decorating the nursery, etc? Or will you leave it until nearer the birth? Sorry, didn't mean to mention the "birth" word!
Hazel - so glad the party went well. And it would appear that you had no side effects yesterday - great!
I am fine today, and it's going to be a busy one! Yesterday was lovely at my sister's. We had champagne and scones and we talked about all the good times, and of course we touched on the sad times too. In the year since our brother died, my sister has looked utterly exhausted, she looked after him for almost a year before he died. But, yesterday, she looked lovely and said she felt really at peace. And that was before the champagne!
Hope everyone has a great Monday!
C xx
Oh, ChrissieS...most of the side effects appear to be happening today...Have got the headache from hell...and am distinctly wobbly! I've just taken advantage of my system having crashed, and went outside to call badger and get a bit of the fresh air!
...as for the pom-poms...I know only have a pom. My lovely (also totally barking) friend decided she would rather like to use it as a weapon rather than her tomahawk (pocohontas) so it was in a very sorry state!
As am I
love
hazel
x
ps all self inflicted...
Hazel - it's kinda weird that sometimes the old hangover doesn't kick in the day after, but the day after that! We THINK we've got away with it, but ...... no. I do send my best wishes, I've been where you are on many, many occasions!
Mr S and I attended a never-to-be-forgotten fancy dress party about 20 years ago that started at 7.30pm on the Saturday, finished at around 11pm on the Sunday - it was crazy! Back to work on the Monday - I think I managed to regain the power of speech in time for the following weekend. Those were the days - no responsibilites other than aiming to get the costumes back in time!
C xx
Hellooooo!
What a lovely time I had with my cousin from welsh Wales and her daughter last weekend. We went to the snowdome so that Georgia could learn to ski, she had a lesson with Josh where she passed her level 1+2 while me and her Mum sat in the bar watching and talking to my friend who's in charge of the ski/board shool there. It was the first time she'd driven out of Wales and into the rest of the UK so it was a big deal for her (she's 36) and she was so chuffed it was neccessary to drink copious amounts of vodka to celebrate. I stayed on the vino collapso so as to remain dignified (yeah right!).
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-x-
Hello everyone! Wish I could say it's good to be back but I would rather be digging holes on beaches or looking for fossils still - never mind there is always next year! Had a wonderful holiday and am now saving for next year's too!
Have had a quick scan through whats been happening over the past fortnight but also have 150 e-mails which need sifting through - I think only 15-20 of them will actually require my attention once I have sorted them.
I will leave you with this funny and hope to come on again sometime later this week once I am caught up.
Jim and Karen were both patients in a mental hospital.One day
while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Karen promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and
pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Karen's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Karen the news she said, "Karen, I have
good news and bad news". The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind.
The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the
bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."Karen replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry".
How Soon can I go home??
Amanda x
Helloooooooooo All,
Only cinq heures to the return of Christophe!
t'would appear you had an exciting Friday on the mooseblog. I had to disappear to a meeting in Winchester prior to Thursday lunch, then managed to skive a day off to have the Dissing mobile serviced (oo-er) and MOT'd! Then shot off down to London for lunch at the HRC with relatives! Then back to MK to collect vehicular mode of transport and payda bill (OOOOOOUCH!!!!)
Quieter weekend, but did go to see Hairspray at the local picture house last evening! Hmmm! twas good in a tacky twee sort of way!
DD out
Afternoon and a very happy Monday to your all!
Ah the old mothers ruin, it has been a long time since I woke up regretting the amount of Gin I had consumed (note to self: Must drink more Gin).
Fancy dress, spent most of my life acting the clown even though I tell people, just coz I’ve got big feet and a red nose that is no reason to laugh at me. ;-)
I did have a good weekend though, Saturday was just wet and Sunday was cold. I went out to walk the dogs and very near froze my pom poms off!
Keep smiling
Keith the BigUn
xx
New Boots
Elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, are in California. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he buys them and wears them home, walking proudly.
He walks into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret looks him over, "Nope".
Frustrated, Bert storms off into the bathroom, undresses and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?" Margaret looks up and says, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday,
it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope" she replies.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!"
Margaret replies.... "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat..."
Keith - I love your jokes!!
I had a good weekend with 'im indoors' mum and brother - they arrived Friday evening and pootled off Sunday afternoon. Unfortunately my mum wasn't well so her and dad didn't make the trip on Saturday, but another time ... The weather here was glorious on Saturday, so we went for a long walk into town and back along the prom, with lunch taken at a local hostelry. We ended up playing crazy golf which was very, very silly indeed. We were out for about seven hours in the end and finished the afternoon in the garden with a drinkie or three, all of us somewhat sun & wind burned and worn out!
I'll be glad to hear CLP back today .... last week's show sounded more like something you'd hear on Five Live!
jollygit xx
Hiya Troops:
Nice to see us all reporting for duty, bit by bit!
Amanda - so glad you had a wonderful holiday. Good to see you back, and the jokes are still very funny!
Lyndyloo - your weekend sounds lovely. I must confess that when it comes to ski-ing I do believe my talents lie in preparing the egg-nog. Well done to your cousin with the driving - no wonder she needed a "wee something" for her nerves!
DD - as always, good to hear from you. I just know I'm going to miss Hairspray at the movies and then I'll be annoyed with myself!
Keith - brilliant joke, as always!
Oh, but it's turning into quite a long day!
C xx
Chrissie just let me know when you want to make the egg nog and I'll help out with ingredients.
Keith and Amanda thanks for keeping the jokes up, it's always Mondays when I could do with a laugh.
Jollygit I think your game of carzy golf sounds as good as some of the players we had in the BP3! I've just done a mailshot for all our clients telling them how good it all was but missed out the bit about the pro that managed to put his ball in the water 5 times on the 9th!
Right, I'd better go get some maps printed... see y'all laters.
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-x-
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from is coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes I do," she replies.
The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes,I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'" "I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said......"I would have gotten out today."
DD out
DD I was just laughing at that joke next door and here you are with it on here lol!
I'm tempted to have a tea and choccy biccy break before the great CLP comes back on... anyone care to join?
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Lyndyloo,
A timely intervention! Coffee just ready to be drunk, i.e. at the appropriate ambient temperature, not full of alcohol!
Choccy Suggestive in hand, and dunking away for my very life!
OOOh Baby, Yeah!
DD out
Ah, lyndyloo...have no choccie bics as already eaten them earlier in vain attempt to stave off hangover.
I am also looking at my boots.
All my own work
love
hazel
x
MORNING??
Is anyone awake??
Have just written my to do list that will last me till next wednesday (except I'm having it off this afternoon and Friday, and of course BH Monday)
It has 7 things on, do you think that's enough??
I could always tackle my other to do list that I haven't looked at in about 3 weeks. I fugure whatever hasn't been done on that isn't worthwhile doing!
Anyone want a cup of tea??
c(_)
c(_)
c(_)
Help youselves
Anyone want to see my nursery??
Am quite proud!
http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l248/jopickerin/IMG_0077.jpg
http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l248/jopickerin/IMG_0076.jpg
http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l248/jopickerin/IMG_0075.jpg
:o)Jo
That's just not going to work is it??
Forgot - CLEAR DESK from my to do list, that should take up a good 1/2 day!
Good Morning,
Sorry - checking in a little late!
Jo - can't get the page to come up - damn! Talk us through the nursery, please. I'm starting to get just a wee bit excited about Jo Junior, so I can only imagine how you feel! Lists - make lists for everything, every day. Never stick to any of them!
My boss is away for the next two days. I really do intend to get a lot of work done. So far, I have checked and commented next door, read the BBC news page, caught up with Big Brother, and now I'm here! It won't do - I'm to do some work. Really. Oh yes, really.
C xx
Thanks for the brew Jo, much appreciated!
Mornin' all!
As I thought 150 e-mails and only 20 relevant to me, information I did need not e-mailed to me so it's back to the same old, same old!!
Now have the EU Ironing Mountain in my lounge and yet more washing to do. In addition we are off on our jolly's again at the weekend so packing panic setting in already! Especially as it is my eldest's 7th birthday on Saturday and I haven't even got one pressie for him yet (cue a skive off work today at some point to do birthday shopping!)
Right I am gradually breathing easier as the panic subsides (glad I got that off my chest!)
Something to make you smile:
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of b1tches who want off, get the hell off now...cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train...cause we're going down the tracks."
The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train..but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... "All passengers, please remember your things, thankyou and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."
She heard her little darling continue..."For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing
journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are p1ssed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b1tch in the kitchen...."
Off to NC1 now, see you later!
A x
Morning all. Nursery, sooooooo exciting. Hope you are feeling well Jo!
Thought the quote below was quite cute, and you lot might appreaciate it.
"This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this."
Charlie Brown
xx
http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l248/jopickerin/
IMG_0077.jpg
http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l248/jopickerin/
IMG_0076.jpg
http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l248/jopickerin/
IMG_0075.jpg
That might work better
:o) Jo
PS Amanda - That is v funny :o)
Just been sent this and HAD to share it with you!
Being British
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
and finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.
A x
Good morning everyone.
Aw Jo, love the pictures. Am concerned as to lack of pink. However, please rest assured that having got friends with small girl children, if it is a girl, you will have enuff pink from about age 4 till about age 11. My oh my, eleven years...scaring me...how about you!
Anna, I've got that stuck on my wall! Fab...and Amanda...I'd get your ticket for the Naughty Corner laminated if I were you...
ChrissieS, the start to your day sounds remarkably like mine...and as far as things to do go, my to do list is headed 'TODOS' which means 'everything' or 'all' in Spanish...so I never write anything on it, as I've always got it all to do...
Thank you for your time.
Mornin' all ...... sorry I've not been here sooner but have been in a meeting for a lot of the morning - on the other side of the campus - in this weather!!
Jo - love the pics of the nursery ... Jo Jnr is a very lucky baby!!!! Love the pic of your pooch on the shelf too!!!
Now have webbed feet ... heating had to go on last night, the house was so cold. Am sick, sick, sick of this blimmin weather. Grrrrr
Anna - I love it and I've printed it off for the office!
Right, I'm going to have a belated cuppa and will raise it to you all and wish you a good day, hopefully!
jollygit xx
Look, I have now completed 20 minutes of hard graft, so surely I'm due a wee break!
Jo - Photobucket tells me "page not found", but Hazel managed to do it, so it must just be me! Well, of course!
Anna - Charlie Brown is my all time favourite! Closely followed by Garfield.
Right, work beckons. (HOW long is it until lunchtime?!)
C xx
YAY - nearly home time
Chrissie - I think you have to cut and paste the links together :o)
:o) Jo
PS Have not completed anything off my to do list today :o)
Arfernoon everybody!
Jo- love the nursery photos....ahhhhh! It's not going to stay that tidy for long once Jo Jr is here so I'd take some more while you have the chance.
Anna I think CB is fab! And there's nothing better than wallowing in self pity every now and again.
Chrissie it is indeed time for lunch as I've spent all morning getting my Dads little car MOT'd. I took Mum for a ride to get her out of the house for an hour away from he who must be obeyed and it's done her the world of good.
So lunch for me is going to be a freshly made chicken salad sarnie with lashing of hellmans (other salad dressings are available) and a cup of tea.
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Afternoon all,
I have to go shortly to the chiropodist to get an in growing toe nail sorted. Still no pain no gain they say! I hope it is not sore enough to stop me playing golf tomorrow afternoon.
On a positive note I was absent yesterday afternoon to see the skin cancer specialist nurse and have been given another clean bill of health for a further 3 months!
Do you know life is good! ;-))
Keep smiling everyone.
Keith the BigUn
xx
A Bottle of Merlot
A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an attractive woman he spotted dining alone.
The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there, indicating the sender. She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read: For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own returns.
He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return this to the woman.
It read: For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z4, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back."
Keith what fab news!!! Hooorayyyy! Isn't it great when you get the all clear?
Here's to all the people that have had good news this month!!!
Cheers!
Luv
Lyndyloo
& the Bears
-x-x-x-x-x-
Keith - fantastic news!!!! I'm so pleased for you xxxxxx
I've just been out for lunch with some of the girls at work as one of them is leaving tomorrow. We ended up having a pizza and what I really need now is a good long zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Can you please tiptoe round me for an hour or so? Thanks awfully
jollyzzzzzzzzzzgit xx
Keith : Life, indeed, is good! I am so happy for you! And, your joke was very funny. You guys and your inches! (oo-er).
Lyndyloo - your day sounds great so far. Your mum would love getting out of the house for a while. No disrespect to your dad ....!
Jo - thanks to the wonderful Ms Hazel Love who has assisted me greatly, I have seen the photos of Jo Jnr's nursery! Awwwww .... takes me back. It's incredible to believe there will be a real wee person sleeping in that cot. And then a mere 16 years later, the chat turns to contraception! Hey Ho!
Seriously, you have made a beautiful nursery for your wee one. You're gonna love this!
C xx
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