I shall stop in 29 Palms and blast "Damn this traffic jam" from the stereo, just for the hell of it.
I shall stop in the middle of the Joshua Tree National Park and blast "I still haven't found what I'm looking for".
I shall stop at the bottom of El Kapitan and blast "Happy Talking".
I shall stop at Big Sur and blast something "Hang the DJ".
See the rest of you in a couple of weeks...
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Random musings of a random Moose
319 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 319 of 319Nice one Keith, the news regarding the docs and the joke. Not so sure about the toenail thing though!
Lyndyloo - glad your mum is continuing to recover so well - she is lucky to have such a wonderful daughter who knows the right things to do without upsetting the balance of harmony! Good on you!
(All of this in a whisper so I don't wake Jollygit from her slumbers!)
Still not made it to the shops so will have to try again tomorrow!
A x
Hmmm? What was that? What? What? Oh no, I wasn't snoring was I?
That forty winks has done me the world of good ..... now, what did I miss?
jollygit x
Awww Jollygit you just missed DD doing the conga with The Big Un wearing only fig leaves and flip flops.... never mind eh?
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Now must get finished as the BP3 is being shown on Sky Sports at 5 and we might get some coverage!
Noooooo - was I asleep that long? Now I'll have to use my imagination ...... DD!!! Methinks that should stand for Ding Dong!! And The Big 'Un ... well .... mind you, you do have something to celebrate!!!
jollygit xx
Gorgeous room Jo, goodness its soooo exciting. I cant wait to see some pics of the little one when they arrive.... assuming you get chance to upload them! THe first blog baby - how cool is that. You know Anna is a lovely name for a baby girl..... mind you so is Hazel, jollygit, chrissie, caroline, sammie, Susan, Lyndyloo....not to mention Jo. Ooooh, decisions!
Huraagh for BigUn - i shall raise a galss in your honour this evening. cheers.
Lyndyloo - i hope the mancub adores me as much as you do your parents. They must have been pretty darn special to you over the years for you to have such devotion to them. Good on yer.
oooh - cooker buzzer.
xx
PS which is very different to a kooka burrah. which may not be spelt liek that anyway. am not really sure where i am going with this, it just sprung to mind as i wrote cooker buzzer.
PPS and now my lamb chop is burnt.
PPPS kebab and chips anyone?
Lindyloo! Will you stop giving away all of Keith and I's secrets! That double private dance was for your eyes only!
It might be 12 inches, but I don't use it as a rule!
DD out
PS Keith Good one!
Keith, as I mentioned to anna, it has to be worth you getting your NC1 pass laminated...superb...loving your work...mainly because I can...
...and thank you anna, you've taken me right back to Girl Guides. Give me an hour, and I'll be in the Quartermasters Stores...
Merry merry king of the bush is he
love
hazel
x
ps Can someone pass the laminator?
pps Jo, have LOADS of babies and you can call them a, after all of us, or b, the Nolans...although I don't think Colleen would have got very far being called Dave...
pppppps anna, where are we with the going abroad thing? Or have I missed something?
And while we're on the subject, of course the mancub loves you. What possible reason could he have not to?
...Lyndyloo is just lovely anyway by the way...in a strictly platonic, hey didja see the game sadderday, kinda way...and her parents deserve all the love she gives coz they've obviously brung her up that way...
My eyes are dim I cannot see, I have not bought my specs with me
And so on and so forth!
As for names for the baby, i think we're pretty sprted for girls but any suggestions for boys names is welcomed - Mr Jo thinks that Gaylord Farqhar is acceptable!!
When my mum's cooker buzzer (your right about it making you think of kookaburra's by the way!) goes off I always stay sat down and just shout 'Mum, Mum the buzzer, the buzzer mum, mum the buzzer' until it goes off - now Mr Jo does it to me and I can see how it could get a bit annoying!!
Happy Humpy Day
:o) Jo
That last comment of mine all sounded a bit odd. Well it does to me anyway. Am putting it down to the phase of the moon and the fact that if this low pressure doesn't lift soon, my head is probably going to explode.
Please collect in a bucket
love
hazel
x
Well, Hellooo Wednesday!
Did any of you see Jamie Oliver last night? I really do love the guy, but he's really losing the plot slightly. Yeah, we all prepare our food for the BBQ outdoors on top of LOGS! And he's driving me crazy with the "herbage" chat!
Jo - ideas for names for a boy.
Like you, we knew the girl's name, but we just could not agree on anything for a boy. I was quite freaked out when we still hadn't agreed on the day the baby was going to be born! During the Caeseran section to bring Ms S into the world, the surgeon asked me if I had chosen names. I said "yes, if it's a girl, it'll be Ms S and if it's a boy it's going to be Baryshnikov, after the famous ballet dancer". All activity stopped for a moment. He said to me "well, that's a new one - I thought I had heard everything so far"! Where it came from I have no idea, but for 10-15 minutes that wee boy would have been Baryshnikov - well, until Mr S heard about it! To the delight of all in the operating theatre, Ms S was a girl and a possible divorce was averted!
Good luck with your choice: for the record I have always loved Adam, Josh and David. But maybe that's just me!
C xx
Morning all,
A bit of a sad day as my golfing partners have cried off and I do not feel as though I can go and play with myself all afternoon (if you know what I mean!). So what are my options? I could just go for a walk or a bike ride maybe the golf driving range? I have booked this afternoon out of the office ad the weather is great so it seems a shame not to do something.
The only thing I have to do now is decide which out of office reply to use?
Best "Out of Office" Automatic e-mail Replies
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged 5.99 for the first 10 words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many
in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Bob'
Keep smiling ;-)
Keith the BigUn
xx
Is it lunch time yet???
No. Unfortunately.
Are you going home at lunch time?
Unfortunately not but am STARVING!!!
Hmmm Coffeeeeee Cake
mmmm Coffee
DD out
PS I'd like to thank all contributors both on here and on the other side for building up my reputation! Mrs DD is killing herself laughing!
Oooooooooooooh...proper home made coffee cake...haven't had that for YEARS! Mind you, was me who used to make it, so this may be the reason...will have to ponder further...
Mrs DD, glad you are laughing...he makes us laugh all the time. Who knew he'd look so good in tartan. Bakewell Tartan at that.
Does he have a similar reputation to keep up amongst your friends? I am pleased to say that I am like this all the time. Yet I am still greyer (under the blonde naturally, and metaphorically OBVIOUSLY) than the badger.
Keith, is that your stocking on ebay? Slighty used. May contain nuts.
love
hazel
x
The only thing my stocking is on is my leg! It only goes up as high as the knee so no nuts either… it must be another stocking. I would think there is a chance of it being a relation to mine as there can not be many of them (man version) around!
xx
So the chances of finding a satsuma would be fairly slim too then I suppose?
Hello all,
Been on my shopping trip this morning, caught up on my work more or less and am feeling much calmer today!
The sun is shining and it is remarkably warm here today. Sorry to those of you who are experiencing bad weather.
Jo - boys names - my favourites would be Harry, James, Jacob, Nathaniel, Samuel, Alexander. Hope that helps or try this website www.babynamenetwork.com/ - which gives names and their meanings.
Here is some lunchtime fun:
"Can I have some Irish Sausages, please?" asked the Irishman, walking up to the counter.
The assistant looked at him and asked: "Are you Irish?"
"If I had asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?" demanded the Irishman indignantly.
"Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?"
Then, warming to his theme, he went on: "Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?"
"Or, if I asked you for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? ! Would Ya? Would Ya?"
The assistant said: "Well, no."
Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, the Irishman steps it up a gear.
"And if I asked you for frogs legs, would you ask me if I was French?"
"What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?"
"Well no, I probably wouldn't" conceded the assistant.
So, now bursting with righteous indignation, the Irishman says: "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish sausages?"
The assistant replied: "Because you're in Homebase"
Have a good afternoon everyone!
A x
Bertram, Tarquill, Tarquin, Marius, Saintjohn, Simian, Baskerville, Quentin, Winston.
Isn't it funny how panicked one can get when it doesn;t let you in to comment.......
I was scared for a moment!
Until tomorrow my friends
Adieu!
:o) jo
Well, that was a scary half hour or so - lost the Moose blog completely! I did NOT like that! However, having checked that the time is right to drink something strong, I've had a nice cup of tea and half a Kit Kat. I'll eat the other half in 10 mins!
Amanda - glad you managed to get to the shops! I would say that now you can relax, but I know you would roll about the floor with laughter! Preparing birthday surprises for the tootsies is never without stress and I always found I was blowing up balloons and hanging up banners at 1am, the morning of the birthday, while Ms S slept peacefully!
Ooooh, look, there's half a Kit Kat!
C xx
oooooh pass the smelling salts.
Distinctly dodgy that was.
Maybe too many comments...the BPs are everywhere...
Paranoid.
me?
Sorry but I've been absent today ... will bring the note from my mum with me tomorrow.
Whilst waiting to pay for petrol yesterday, I was flicking through the latest 'Hello' mag and there was our CE & GOTS. Not many pics and definitely not the main feature (Scary Spice beat him there) but a few lovely photos of the happy couple.
Weather's been s**te here today and I've spent most of the time with me woolly pully on and wishing I'd worn socks .....
There's a new CE post next door but I'm still tutting and chuckling at the same time at yesterday's little hissy fit by Prof Plum .....
Have a safe and warm evening!
jollygit xx
PS Jo - I love the names Daniel and Sam for boys x
Dissing Dave - the truth is out there. Quite possibly with your tablets.
and swallow
love
hazel
x
boys names, well as the mancub is named after a rather beautiful motorbike, (and im not referencing kawasaki here) im not sure im the best person to advise, but i do like the following names: Lucas, Dillon, Floyd, Archie. And for the record, Oliver - which is the mancubs middle name.
The abroad thing hasnt gone away, currently looking at figures and work opportunities for me. Him indoors has also been offered something interesting with an old firm, which we have to consdier too.... funny old times isnt it. Today, our office received the latest festival brochure and i was so excited about it my heart was fluttering for ages afterwards - its just so beautiful! Not sure how easy it would be to get that excited about a job in abu dhabi, the arts culture just isnt the same. I guess we will have to wait and see what opportunities come up - if its meant to be and all that.
I promise that i will do my best.
xx
Please excuse Lyndyloo from being here yesterday as she was a very busy girl. Unlike the last few weeks, she was not looking after me, her Father or the bears but she was doing "proper" work which hopefully will culminate in her being able to look after us all in the manner we would like to become accustomed.
Please excuse Analog's absence for the last couple of days. Like Lyndyloo she has been doing real and proper work and unable to join in your fun. Doubt we'll see any of her money though.
I wish she was more like Lyndyloo and took better care of us 'cos we have been trying to sort out our broadband connection for days and can't get the bl**dy thing to work at all. If she came round here occasionally and did something useful it would be appreciated.
Dear lyndyloo's mum. Thank you for the note. This does not, however, excuse her from the Naughty Corner. Please would you let her know that she will need to bring at least on bottle of Stoli in order that she can be given readmission. Many thanks.
...and bless Jollygit for wishing everyone a safe and warm evening - her boiler broke down last night! Sending big hugs for you to wrap yourself in hon, but we won't talk about the strip wash...
So far I'm having a bad day, but not as bad as a lot of other people so I'm going to get rid of this wet lettuce, try to smarten up a bit, and smile...a bit...
1974
love
hazel
x
btw, anna, Harley or Vincent?
Messages from the Pedantry:
a, Hazel: we take it that lyndyloo is expected to bring ONE bottle of vodka not on bottle?
b, analog's parents: Please avoid Virgin at all costs.
Message ends.
Sorry to be checking in so late. I don't have anyone who can write a note for me ..... aaawwww!
Have spent well over an hour deleting incoming/sent items/deleted emails. What a complete mess. I had over 900 emails in my inbox! Almost all of them arranging lunches/drinks after work stuff. If my boss sees any of this, he'll have a fit! However, I cleared those off nicely and have now adopted Hazel's panto laugh "woo ha ha ha"!
Another beautiful day and here I am stuck in the fun factory. So much work to do - I really want to get on with it, but part of me just wants to babble a bit on here!
Hope everyone is o.k. Be back later. In about three minutes.
C xx
Hello everyone!
I have a bottle of Stoli a bottle of Boli and a bottle of JD! Anyone for the naughty corner before I head off to Islay for me weekend dancing with men in kilts?
Luv
Lyndyloo
& The Bears
-x-x-x-x-
ps. did anyone notice my Mum's new haircut and blonde highlights? Get her!!!
I know I was having a wee joke, saying I would be back shortly, but I have just read next door - and want to say Hazel, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. From the way you describe him, he was a lovely guy and obviously made his own wee mark on the world. Your words about him are lovely xxx
C xx
You know when you organise something months in advance and suddenly it's happening tomorrow?...... Well that sums me and my lovely family up today.
Months ago our eldest came home from school terribly upset (he's 6 - 7 on Saturday) because after a class discussion it appeared he was the only one in his class who had not been on an aeroplane. Not that we believed that at all - he was probably the only one who had admitted it!!! So we set about thinking how we could afford to fly somewhere without having to purchase passports and all that malarky. He had already said he wanted to go to his nanna and grandad's for his birthday so we gave him a choice. Either a party or we would fly to his grandparents for his birthday weekend. Without a second's thought he chose the flying option. So we booked.......
We fly tomorrow from Manchester to London (it's only an hour) and I am in the midst of having an almighty panic about the whole thing. Our boys are 5 and 6, will everything be ok, will they get scared, I know they will want to go to the toilet numerous times 'cos they always do when we go out (it's a boy thing obviously!), - ooooh I am getting into a tizzy and there is no-one in the office apart from me today. I've got butterflies in my tummy and am feeling slightly nauseous. I really need to calm down 'cos if I get home tonight in this state everything will go awry tomorrow as the boys will sense that I am not acting normal. Just thinking that is making me worse.
Isn't it silly - I love flying and have really missed going abroad since having the boys so why am I feeling like this today?
Hopefully now I have shared the way I am feeling with my virtual friends I will begin to calm down.
Sorry gang, thanks for 'listening'. I will slink off now and find a paper bag to breath into.
A x
Hazel - bless you, on all counts xxxx
I'm sorry but I don't have a note from my mum after all. We spent a while last night trying to work out what had gone wrong with our combi-boiler but have now had to give up and ring the agency (rented house). We now have to wait for Boiler Bill to ring and let us know when he can be bothered to turn up and take a look, suck some air through his teeth, scratch his head and tell us it needs a new part which will take a fortnight.
Meanwhile, no-one will want to see us for fear of us stinking like (was gonna say 'badger' here but I won't cos he doesn't smell anything but lovely) a couple of polecats. Me and 'im indoors had to have strip washes this morning, filling the kettle three times and having pans of water on the go at 6.30am ..... I'm now going to invest in a bumper pack of wet-wipes and hope that they do the job. Hmmm, perhaps now's the time to start talking to the neighbours .............
jolly (sniff sniff - not too bad, thank goodness it's not hot) git xx
Sorry - just had to post this.
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.
Tthe churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by the chip monks …
lyndyloo, bring 'em all, could do with a big drink up!
Have a super fabby time in/on Islay! Hope it all goes well for everyone, and I must say, I thought your mum looked very nice. Now, we just need to get your dad some new trousers...
Now then. Amanda. I remember when my cousin went on a train for the first time. I was slightly older and extremely well travelled by then...anywhere within the distance of my Gran'ma's Rover Card was our lobster...so terribly superior...but I didn't get on an aeroplane til I was EIGHTEEN! After a slight altercation with the stewardess and some fast explaining to the nice man in uniform, they sent me home again. Any time now the bleep goes off at the airport I just blame the plate in my head.
So, no need to panic. They won't have time to go to the loo. By the time the seatbelt sign is switched off, it'll be on again...you may well be able...if you speak nicely to your travel agent today...to take them to the cockpit, or at the very least, meet the pilot before or after the flight...it's gonna be fun and I'm SOOOOO jealous!
...and b-r-e-a-t-h-e (that would be in AND out m'dear) s-l-o-w-l-y...
Thank you for your good wishes. His funeral will just be finishing now, so bye bye Bert xx
love
hazel
x
Jollygit - what a nightmare over the boiler. I hope you get a result from Boiler Bill today - no hot water is no joke. The thought of Mr S & I have to strip wash - let's not go there!!
Amanda - I completely understand that you have now realised the day is dawning for the actual journey! It will be o.k., I am sure of it. Children love adventures and your boys will be so excited, they won't have time to be nervous! Yes, be prepared for walking up and down the plane quite a lot, but it's such a short journey, you'll be in London before you know it! Have a great weekend and that your lovely boy has a really Happy Birthday!
C xx
Analog - excellent! I fell hook, line and sinker!
C xx
Hazel - so sorry about your friend, hope he had a good send off.
Thanks also for your soothing words. I have been told by the airline to ask the stewards when we board and they may organise a trip to the cockpit although post 9-11 I didn't think that happened but I will try 'cos obviously as mum I would have to go too (and I never could resist a man in uniform!!!). The birthday boy is very excited about the whole thing, however littlest man is not so sure. We have organised to get to the airport in plenty of time so they can have a good look around and watch some of the planes taking off and landing. Also got bits and pieces to keep them amused and topped up as well!
Again, thanks!
A x
Afternoon all,
I thought I had better pop in before the register is closed and declare myself “Here miss”. Hopefully this will alleviate the need for my mum to write me a note.
Amanda, your are right to be a little anxious (that is normal) but as with most of our fears, even of the worst kind they very rarely come to anything so please do try to relax and you children will pick up on your anxiety and that is something that could stay with them a lifetime.
Keith the BigUn
xx
A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. After drinking it, he looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer.
After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again and asks for another beer.
This happens about another seven times before the bartender asks him, "Why do you keep looking in your pocket?"
The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in there. When she looks good enough, I'll go home!
Guess where I am?
I went to a meeting this morning in another location. I bought 8 jammy doughnuts (other types of dough and indeed nut are available). Unfortunately I left the doughnuts in reception After the meeting, some two and a half hours later, I returned to reception and found that all the doughnuts were still in pristine condition and had not been touched during my absence.
Where am I?
DD out
PS Back later
DD - have not got a scoobies where you are (way too clever for me!) but if you had left them here, there may have been one missing when you returned to collect them!
A x
DD - are you at weight watchers?? or at an anorexia self help group??
CAn't think.
I however am here - briefly- then shall be back later :o)
Apparantly a chap has just jumped off a bridge round the corner from my office into the path of an oncoming metro. However bad a day I have I know that it'll never be that bad, I have you all added as my part of my virtual support network so THANK YOU!!
:o) Jo
PS Meeting with Nasty boss in 15 minutes - D'oh!
Dissing Dave - you mean apart from Cloud Cuckoo Land obviously?
I'd have to say a Doughnut Factory. Where as a new member of the staff, you can eat ALL the doughnuts you like!
I never met a fat Cadbury employee. You could leave a whole sack of Fruit n Nut at reception there, and when you get back to it, they'll have topped it up with all sorts. Or is that Bassetts.
No that's dogs, HELP! I've gone all DD!!!!!!!!!!!
under the table quivering
love
hazel
x
ps amanda, just making sure you're still breathing...gooooooooooood...
Nun Eaten!
D'oh
DD out
DD - I must be in One-eaten then!
Hazel - am gradually calming down I think. Couldn't find a paper bag so went for an empty crisp packet and now have crumbs up my nose! Keep sneezing!
Gosh Jo - I would like to think that things would never get that bad for me either. How terrible.
Sun is shining AGAIN here today and its very warm. Hope we all have good weather over the weekend, apart from Jollygit that is 'cos things could get quite ripe there!! Really hope Bill the Boilerman comes out soon and surpasses your expectations!
A x
Glad you cleared that mystery up DD. You could have been here only I know you weren't. Can't abide doughnuts (jam, cream, apple, custard or any other variety).
Amanda how did you get crumbs up your nose??? You're supposed to breath in and out through your mouth. And crisp packets aren't that big. Or maybe it was a family sized crisp packet. Whatever size it was I don't think it is to be recommended ....
Glad you cleared that mystery up DD. You could have been here only I know you weren't. Can't abide doughnuts (jam, cream, apple, custard or any other variety).
Amanda how did you get crumbs up your nose??? You're supposed to breath in and out through your mouth. And crisp packets aren't that big. Or maybe it was a family sized crisp packet. Whatever size it was I don't think it is to be recommended ....
Note to self: If crisp packet needed in breathing emergency, remember to turn packet inside out first.
Dissing Dave. That is being treated with the contempt it deserves. I was listening to R1 this morning (Badgers Driving Choice) and Rachel told a bad joke even worserer. How do you eat Cheese. Caerphilly. For a start it should have been how do you eat Welsh Cheese, and for a second, it is a BAD joke anyway.
So, whaddya call a fresh wrapped completely whole block of cheese?
Nun eaten.
Gotcha back
nur
love
hazel
x
ps Jo, that poor man, but the poor people in the bus too! Hope your meeting went ok...
...and this is for lyndyloo!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/south_of_scotland/6958350.stm
or for ChrissieS and those of you with transistors...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland
/south_of_scotland/6958350.stm
Hazel, The makings of a damn good meal .......... when you take the wrapper off!
DD out
dear something missing dave.
please will you be my friend.
there are not many like us out there and i am trying to get together as many of us as possible to form a recognisable group eligible for charitable status.
i have a special discount at some stores already which is very useful particularly the fabric shop when you find the canvas starting to chafe.
you know where to find me.
if you don't then please disregard this message which will self destruct in five seconds.
almost as if it had never been.
please be my friend.
You'll all be pleased to know, I'm sure, that Boiler Bill is on his way to the house as we speak, with 'im indoors hot on his heels! It had to be right now apparently otherwise it would've have had to have waited until Tuesday ....... have you seen the weather forecast for the weekend? It's meant to be really warm! Anyway, if there is a problem and the boiler needs a part, it'll still have to wait until Tuesday so in the interests of hygiene, health and safety please cross your fingers and anything else you've got that it doesn't need a part and that BB can fix it straight away. I'm starting to itch already .......
We're due to go to a party on Saturday night and have friends round on Sunday but depending on the outcome of BB's visit, that could all be changing!
Sniff, sniff ..... still OK so far!
jollygit xx
Dissing Dave. Now I'm scared. Are you talking about the kilt or the cheese?
Actually, not scared, intrigued...
As they (allegedly) say at Scottish Country Dancing...
Peel off!
love
hazel
x
There could be a whole host of different names for tradesmen couldn't there. Perhaps we should open a register.
I know Pete the Plumber.
Jollygit has Boiler Bill
There could be a Boilerman Dan...
Now I have run out of ideas and I have been cleaning with Mr Muscle Kitchen Cleaner, and while the kitchen area (general) is bright and gleaming, I cannot feel my tongue, and appear to be talking like Mickey Mouse. I would like to pop outside for a smoke, but with the week we all seem to be having, I'm terrified that I will spontaneously combust.
donations only
love
hazel
x
Update on broken boiler situation:
1) Boiler Bill has been and gorn
2) The boiler needs a new circuit
3) Baxi have one in stock which is
going to be posted to BB today
4) If he receives it tomorrow he'll fix it tomorrow
5) If it doesn't arrive, he'll have to fix it when it does arrive but either way it won't be before Tuesday
Does anyone have a WI-type Burco boiler that we can use over the weekend before we start to pong?
jollygit x
Jollygit - no but I have a bottle of Febreeze (other air freshening products available) that you can waft around you over the weekend! Have faith - it WILL arrive with BB tomorrow and you shall have hot water over the weekend ..........
maybe, hopefully anyway!
A x
Would this be WI as in jam and knitting and you don't really want to be doing it like that Julia?
I need it to be home time.
Anyhoo...
Am keeping fingers crossed that the bit arrives tomorrow, and that he does indeed fix it tomorrow, but jollygit, you are missing out on ££££££'s. A Strip Wash Webcam. Small fortune to be made I'm sure. Then you can buy all the boilers you could ever need!
Asda (other supermarkets available probably with similar offers) baby wipes, £2 for two packs of 80 wipes. Job done.
...and according to my seaweed, it's going to be hot and clammy...especially round the lifeboat station area...
avast behind
love
hazel
x
Have just awarded today's prize for most disappointing follow-up story to this...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/6960334.stm
Got SO excited.
Amanda - never thought of Febreeze - thanks for that !
HL - I do indeed have a vast behind, hence the need for AT LEAST two packs of wet-waypes!
I must be positive .... the bit that BB needs WILL arrive tomorrow and all will be well, or at least hot 'n wet (but that's not for here)!!
I'll put the Strip Wash webcam idea to 'im indoors and see what he thinks. In the meantime I think a trip to Field 'n Trek is in order to buy some of that stuff that you can wash body, hair, fruit, veg & clothes in ..... it might make life a bit easier!!!
With a fairly large frontage too
jollygit xx
Jollygit - the new circuit will arrive tomorrow. BB will fix it then. I have rattled my rosary beads - it's sorted!
C xx
P.S. On the other hand, Tuesday is not so terribly far away!
You're right about that story - what a let down. Surely the bird will fall over in the roasting tin and get all burnt down one side.
Jollygit - is that a Melony Frontage or have I lapsed into tog-dom again?
Analog - Melony Frontage is my second cousin twice removed!!!
jollygit, hoping & praying BB gets a bit tomorrow (ahem)
xx
Favourite bit: "But sometimes she tries to scratch herself with her missing leg and falls over."
...and Jollygit, the stuff they sell in field and trek(!) is VERY EXPENSIVE WATER. It's like pancake mix, where you just have to add milk and an egg. VERY EXPENSIVE FLOUR.
Make do with the hwette hwaypes dear girl. After all they didn't hev thayse in the hwar you kner. We had to hrub arselves dine with whale meat. Layke Vera Lynn. Agayne.
And I think you'll find that it's Melony Griffiths by the way.
I'm switching this off now. My ambience is here, and they only want to check what I've written if they catch me with it on...
wot a day. thank you all. you've kept me on the right side!
love
hazel
x
ps Dissing Dave! love you! I'll be your friend!
Oh, Keith you too, and Moose, if you're there anyway XXXXXXXXXXXX
To all Moose bloggers
Dissing Dave is unable to type any more messages, as he is currently unable to undo the straps on his very long sleeves!
We would like to apologise for anybody offended during his recent outburst of typing fever, this was caused by new medication which unfortunately has not been as successful at controlling his condition as we had hoped!
Once we have his condition stabilised, we may allow him limited access to a pencil and paper.
The sudden downturn in his condition has manifested itself through some quite bizarre behaviour. Should any of you be called Hazel Love, or Missy or Gingembre or Anna Log or Jo. We are particularly sorry for you as Dave seems to have taken on the multi-faceted personalities of your good selves.
I suggest you seek immediate treatment.
Yours
The Warder
They've put me in the Naughty Corner!! HELP!!!!
DD out
and about
Woo ha ha ha
Well the day has arrived!!!! I am here in the office bright and early as I am making a midday getaway. Then off home to pack the weekend away and birthday pressie bag.
I am much calmer now, the fact I left everyone in bed (2 of them asleep) this morning has helped me enormously. It was really weird as I came on the bus today and left my house in bright sunshine and arrived at work (a mere 5 miles away) in thick fog. A bit like the twilight zone (cue scary music). It has not lifted yet either. Weird.
If I don't get the chance to join you later on I hope Jollygit's boiler parts come and that the sun shines for everyone this weekend - those with and those without the benefit of an extra day off on Monday.
Oh and Moose - think you are back around the weekend sometime - so welcome home and hope the holiday was amazing!
Have a good one everyone.
A x
PS.
These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a two-line rhyme with the MOST romantic first line, but the LEAST romantic second line.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you're not.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was p1ssed.
I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
.......... now its over to my virtual friends to take up the mantle. A x
Oh, at last, some company in NC1. All comers welcome, but it can get a bit draughty round the trossachs on the sofa on yer own...and when all is said and done, there is only a limited amount of (even virtual) JD and coke one person can stand.
There is however, still some vodka left in the water (heh heh heh) cooler...I think there has been 'someone' sneaking in and topping it up.
Not only but also, some mounting piles (ooer) of boxes containing a very rare Veuve Clicquot Vin Rose marked 'JP - for Tuesday only' in black marker pen.
Oh, spoke too soon, here comes Juan Tew with some croissants et beurre...mmmmmmmmmmmm...and awaiting the next part of the Strip Wash Saga with bated breath..!
later my dahlings
love
hazel
x
ps Thank you all for being so great yesterday. My mum said the crematorium was packed, which was exactly as it should have been. Thank you x
amanda - it will all be fine, and the boys will have the time of their lives!
Just remember - crisp packet inside out...
Have a great day!
chocks away
love
hazel
x
Morning all,
Amada, have a wonderful trip, how exciting.
Jollygit aka Melony, I do hope the Boiler man turns up today, with his big tool and fixes your boiler!
I am a little frightened for Mr Muscle, I see he is being used in Hazels kitchen! I do hope she lets him out for the weekend. :-)
DD I fear your may be being led astray! What fun;-))
I have decided to take next week off work; I thought I had better let you know so that I do not get into trouble for being absent. ;-) I am not going away anywhere, just having a week at home with Mrs B. I may have to go for a few walks and maybe if the weather is good get to ride my motorcycle along the coast a few times. My garden needs a little TLC so I think I will have enough going on to keep me busy!
Keep smiling
Keith the BigUn
xx
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Native American:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments Jesus was Irish
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.
AMEN
Talking of motorcycles (which I have ridden to work today!) reminds me of…
A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St.
Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.
"On a trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and
smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose
ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off, or I'll
kick the **** out of all of you!"
St. Peter was impressed .. "When did this happen?"
"Couple of minutes ago."
Amanda, you know I can never resist a challenge - and where is Caroline when you need her? AGAIN?
For now...
I love your smile, I love your grin
Now which box are my glasses in
I love your smile, I love your grin
I also thank the lord for gin
I love your smile, I love your grin
Especially from lips so thin
I love your smile, I love your grin
Looking up from deep the kitchen bin
I love your smile, I love your grin
Even better with teeth in
You're beautiful, gorgeous, bright and clean
I think I'll wear you for Hallowe'en
I love your eyes, I love your lips
I wish you that had JLo's hips
When you smile it makes me laugh
Then all at once I want to barf
In between work breaks too!
all my own work
love
hazel
x
Have also thought of several reasons why Jesus may also have been gay or a transvestite, but I REALLY don't think that's for here...
As soon as I saw it I just knew our Hazel would come up trumps. Thanks Hazel - you have made me smile this morning.
Keith - have a good 'un, big 'un! Loved the Jesus funny!
I can't think of anything worse than sitting on a motorbike (and my hubby is an ex-biker)I am too much of a scaredy-cat! - opposites DO attract!!!!!
Am off now - stack of jobs to do before 12!
A x
My you're in fine and witty form today folks. Can't match any of that and won't try.
The sun is out here and it's trying to be summer - just hope it lasts for the weekend.
A Friday Pome
Poor amanda in a spin
Which plane to put her babies in
seven four seven or DC10
Would they want to go again
Manchester to London bound
All that way above the ground
Make sure you get a window seat
Then they can peddle with their feet
A whole hour in the air
All that time to wonder and stare
...and wonder why it's only sunny...up there...
Poor amanda in a spin
Which plane to put her babies in
seven four seven or DC10
OF COURSE they'll want to go again
FIN
Awwww thanks Hazel - am blushing now!
See you all Tuesday and have a fab weekend!
A x
hellooooooo ....
Is there anybody out there or has the weekend started early?
hi all, blimey you have been busy over here the last couple of days. I was out at a networking meeting yesterday in which i met a woman who is doing a PHD on 16th century contraception. As you do.
Apparently they used to use the tops of lemons (or limes) as a sort of dutch cap. I thought this quite ingenious, apparently it doesnt smart at all. Possible a smidge expensive tho, if you are having a particularly fruuty (ha ha ) weekend, and apparently slices just dont cut the mustard. Shame.
Lyndyloo - your mums hair looks wicked.
Jollygit - happy holidays, the mancub loved it when he flew, im sure the boys will be fine!!
Hazel - good thoughts for your friend!
Jo - hope meeting went well!
Have a happy weekend all. I am at the Phoenix Centre in Leciester tomorrow working so wont catch any of the lovely sun, never mind - I get a lie in on sunday!
xx
PS HL - Harley, naturally! ;o)
There is nothing quite like the throb of a v-twin.
And that is where I think I shall leave that.
But, from the naughty corner, a joke...this would be BP'd big style next door. You have been warned.
Farmer Giles son is on his way home from the pub, and he rings his dad in panic.
'Dad, dad, I've run over a pig, and he's all wriggling and squealing under the landrover! What do I do?!
His dad says 'Well, just shoot him, chuck him in the back of the landrover and bring him home.'
Son says...
'Ok, but what about his speed camera...'
Have great weekends dear friends
love
hazel
x
No one?
Since Friday?
Really?
No one?
Jo's last day today. And no one about?
Grayshus me wot bad form.
Hope to see you all later my dears
love
hazel
x
Moose!!! Are you back yet?
Hello, Hello, calling all cars!
I do have an excuse for my absence: Friday I was a very poorly bunny. Managed to get some sort of stomach bug which put me completely out of commission until around bedtime on Saturday. It was HORRIBLE! And yesterday, my lovely boss gave us the Holiday Monday even though it was not a holiday in Scotland. I came back to work this morning to discover he had come in yesterday to clear his desk (which had correspondence on it from 2003) and he tells me the phones "were going crazy". Interesting. It is now 9.30, I've been here since 8.10 and I've taken two phone calls - and one of those was from one of the guys saying he's running late! I would never call my boss a "liar", but I think there may be fibbing going on!
Jo - is this really your last day?! Can we have a wee celebration later? I'm sure I'm now back to full fitness and could manage a very small, very dry sherry!
Hope everyone is o.k.
Amanda - you have to let us know how the boys enjoyed their flying experience!
C xx
YAY for me :o)
Finally made it to the end!!
Well, strictly speaking tomorrow is my last day but I'm going to sack off at lunch time after I've cleared me desk so there will be no time for a parté.
Speaking of parties, had my G Uncle's 80th at the weekend with the Family dan Landan way (innit). 23 of us playing quoits in the garden.....I was rubbish!
Chrissie sorry to here you've not been very well, but at least you got some holiday weekend.
Hazel - I thought that too - no-one, since Friday. But then I thought that we all probably have other things to do on Bank Holiday Weekends
:o) Jo
It's really kinda spooky, isn't it? It's Tuesday, but it FEELS like Monday!
We won £10 on the Lottery at the weekend. Mr S said "oooh, we have three numbers"! I said "are you sure, are you absolutely sure, we don't have all six?". It would appear not.
The accountant has phoned looking for this year's Visa receipts for the guys. Can't find Jan, Feb or March statements! It's going to be a very long day, methinks.
C xx
P.S. Moose, I'm guessing you are home now. Hope the jet-lag is not too horrific!
Jo - wishing you the very best of luck in the whole wide world over the coming months. Hope you can get on-line from home so we hear all your news though.
Chrissie - so sorry you have been poorly and hope you are definitely recovered. Bosses are funny aren't they - give you the day off then make you feel guilty as anything because they were 'busy'!!!!!
The flying was brilliant - the birthday boy (you will recall it was because of him we booked the tickets anyway) was not too sure about the whole experience and we had some tears and stuff on the way down. My arm is still numb now from the clinging onto it he did yesterday afternoon for the return flight! Our littlest man was so so funny - as we went down the runway to take off on Friday he yelled 'Yoooohoooo!!!' and waved his arms around much to everyone's amusement! He loved the whole thing even though he was really nervous before we left for the airport. He spent the whole journey back yesterday sat with his daddy giggling his head off!
The birthday boy had a brilliant birthday and we spent more or less the whole weekend in my parent's back garden enjoying the sunshine. On Sunday the birthday boy managed to fall backwards into the paddling pool fully clothed whilst chasing giant bubbles which was hilarious (no £250 'cos we didn't film it!)! He wasn't very impressed with us because we were so busy lauging we were helpless to help him as he stood dripping all over the lawn!
All in all a fantastic weekend was had by the 4 of us. Back to work with a bump today because the boss is back as well!
Have a nice day one and all and will catch up later. Hope you all had lovely weather over the weekend too.
How is the boiler Jollygit? Did BB fix it?
A x
Helloo everyone!
I'm back from the wedding and can honestly say that I have seen all the weather that there was over the weekend. Every time I walked out of the door on Islay it was a different day. One minute it was misty, then sunny, then pouring with rain, then blowing a hoolie! What a place! It was gorgeous though and my friend looked fab! It was a lovely weekend and I think they'll be very happy together.
How was everyone elses bank holiday? What with it being nearly time to finish for Jo (good luck on the outside honey!) and Chrissie winning the lottery (and after that nasty poorlyness last week too) not to mention the airplane trip for amanda's family it's been quite a busy time. No doubt Hazel has been in the thick of something and Jollygit will have been aiding and abetting.
Luv
Lyndyloo
+ the Bears
-x-x-x-x-
Amanda - how wonderful that your trip went well. It sounds as though it was worth getting a very numb arm for! Next time, your big guy will know what to expect and hopefully it will be easier!
Lyndyloo - so glad you had such a great weekend. I would love to go to Islay - it's ridiculous that I have lived in Scotland all my life and have never been there. Ye gods, if you can make all that effort to get there, surely I can too. It's on my list for next year! (Having said that, I have a really long list for next year!)
Jo - have you gone yet?!
Hope everyone else is o.k. Very quiet blog today, eh?
C xx
Not gone yet but I have actually been to the pub for lunch time drinks with some colleagues and my nice boss. It was ace as everyone proceeded to bitch about my nasty boss!
At least I'm not the only one who thinks she's incompetent!!
:o) Jo
Chrissie - definitely a worthwhile numb arm!!! Thanks x
A x
Have been all over the place today, and have had a few problems getting on here...this system I think rather than our beloved Moose!
Anyhoo, Amanda, despite the tears, paddling pool and arm incidents, it sounds as though you had a superb weekend.
News from Jollygit - the boiler is now working and she has had a shower...she was incommunicado over the weekend mainly due to being too sticky-fingered to use her keyboard efficiently and could only type asdfjkl; which is just nonsense really...
So, all these cosmopolitan people. Lyndyloo, Amanda, ChrissieS winning the lotto (be too good to mix with the likes of us soon...) and the lovely Jo about to become a mummy...
I can't wait to be going on holiday!
Enjoy your Tuesday evening gorgeous bods
love
hazel
x
ps You can get arrested in Brighton for blowing a hoolie, but that's not for here...
HL You can only get arrested for blowing a hoolie in Brighton on the clothing optional beaches, I'm told it's a lewd act!
http://jaxanddougie.blogspot.com/
The wedding blog is up and running.
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Dear all
Well, after five days without any hot water (except for the 382 kettles-full that were boiled), Boiler Bill finally made an appearance earlier today, complete with the new 'bit'. Have since showered twice, just because I can!!!!
I resisted the Strip Wash Webcam because I care about you all too much ....... it's amazing how many wet wipes just one all-over clean can take, let me tell you!
Lyndyloo - sadly I didn't get to aid and abet Hazel over the weekend - I wish to goodness I'd been able to cos it's not been the best weekend of me life, but it's a long story which I won't bore you all with today.
Anyhoo, am now smelling fresh as a dayzee and am pink-skinned from the two monkey shars ...... I'm going for a full-on bubbly monkey bath later as well!
Jo - I wish you, Mr Jo and Jo Jnr all the very best and can't wait to see pics of Tarquin/Horatio/Chelsea/Mercedes or whatever you decide to call him/her!!!!!! I hope the b***h goes as quickly and conveniently as possible. Good luck xxxxxx
Catch y'all tomorrow
jolly(nice-smelling)git xxxx
Have i missed her. Oh blow it (tho as hazel would say thats not for here..... and definately not in your delicate way Jo....tho at this stage in the pregnancy...)
Happy motherhood Jo, ready for when baby arrives. Hope you have a wonderful few weeks/mths with your new little person. Hope you can drop by to keep us posted!
sigh. I do love a good baby story.
So Moose, how was it. Amanda, glad they had fun, jollygit - warm water. So lovely!
evening all. just off to open a snifter.
Today I will mostly be clearing my desk :o)
Hiya Jo - how I wish I was clearing out my desk today!
You must be feeling quite happy today - you are about to get a wee bit of freedom and time to yourself - make sure you enjoy it.
Am I right in saying that you will still be able to join in here from home? Or am I completely wrong, and after today we won't hear from you? Hopefully it's the former - we want to be there for you right up until B-Day!
To everyone else, hope you have a good Wednesday.
This is a very short week for me - we had Monday off for the BH and Friday is our office summer day out. We are heading to Edinburgh for the day - drinks, bus tour (or something similar) and then a long lunch which may include wine!
But before then, I'd better do some work I suppose.
C xx
P.S. Jollygit - two showers and a bath in one day! You really ARE happy to get your hot water back!
Apologies for absence yesterday but work gave us all an extra day off so it seemed rude not to take it.
Jo hope you've managed to clear your desk - where do all those post-it notes hide when you really want one?? Good luck with everything (she says carefully, avoiding the b-word) and let us know how things turn out.
What is that smell? Oh it's just jollygits assorted shower gel & bubble bath fumes! Lovely!
Back later once I've had my exhaust fixed. My back end is making rather a racket at the moment ... budge up there in NC1.
Anna & Chrissie - I took a big glass of wine into the bathroom with me and drank it whilst luxuriating in the bubbly monkey bath, and listening to the radio ...... bliss!
Back at work today and desperately trying to get my head round stuff. We're still camping out in a temporary office which means that everything but the most immediate paperwork is packed in boxes and it's proving difficult, to say the least, to know where to put stuff (don't tempt me!!!!). We should be moving some time next week now ....... just as the hoards of students descend upon us again! Ah well ....
Jo - good luck on your last day - how exciting!! xxxx
To all, have a lovely day cos the sun's shining.
jollygit xxxx
Morning or should that be afternoon all!
Glad to hear Jolly (nice-smelling)git now has a working boiler.
Hope you are all having a lovely day.
A friend has just sent me about 10 or so jokes. I will start by sharing this one with you:
A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Aussie guy G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"
Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Aussie : (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Aussie : (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Aussie : "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool"
Aussie : (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Aussie : (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Aussie : (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar."
I am showing you my laminated NC1 pass as I rush to it now!
Have a lovely afternoon everyone!
A x
Hi everyone!
Amanda- just luvin' the jokes!
Jollygit- nice to know you smell sweet once again, shame it was such a poor weekend.
Jo- Good luck with the birth.
Chrissie- make the effort and go over to Islay, the ferry is lovely if it's good visibity.
HL- what you up to? Very quiet I note... must be hiding in NC1
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Hello and good afternoon:
Just checking in with nothing in paticular.
I am assuming Ms Love is AWOL. Standards are slipping!
As I type, my brain is replaying a song I heard at the weekend - a really obscure song from a show that I have on video. I cannot get it out of my brain - it's on a loop. I woke up at three o'clock this morning and my brain was playing the song! It's driving me c-r-a-z-y!
Other than that, nothing to report!
C xx
What's the song Chrissie? Perhaps if you give us all a short rendition it will get it out of your head. However ... if it sticks in our heads that might not be a popular move!
I now have a spanking new exhaust and will travel home a lot more quietly than I arrived today.
Anyone know when Moose is back? It will be good to 'hear' his dulcet tones again.................
Welcome back (again) Moose! Hope you had a good time!
A x
Anyone got any nominations for jobsworths they have had to deal with today? For example the baggage delivery driver who has just rang our office to say that the item that the airline lost for one of my colleagues was in his van outside the office but he could not possibly bring it up as he had other bags on the van that needed minding - makes my blood boil - it's not as if my colleague lost his own luggage - the airline managed to do that for him. Rant over - calming down and breathing, in.........out.......in.......out.
Will leave you with this thought:
A guy walked into the local benefits office to pick up his money. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing benefits.
I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her s*xual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy, wide-eyed, said, "You're bullsh!ttin' me!"
"The social worker said, " Yeah, well . . You started it."
TTFN
Analog - I really did think of saying the name of the song - but it's probably better left unsaid! Maybe if I just ignore it, it will go away! This is going to sound completely nuts, but since I sent through my comment earlier, it has stopped playing a wee bit!
Amanda - your jokes are just terrific!
C xx
Hiya Troops!
I'm sorry to say this - really I am, but this is already the end of the week for me! It's been a quick one! Busy day ahead, but come 5 o'clock I am outta here and then we have our office day out tomorrow. It will probably be freezing in Edinburgh! Hey Ho, it surely won't be cold inside the pub!
We are planning to go on a tour of the vaults which lie underneath the city centre, where people lived 200 years ago. It will be just my luck to run into a ghost!
Be back later. Hope everyone is o.k.
C xx
Chrissie- I've always wanted to go and do that! Have a great time and remember to search "all" of the pubs to make sure you find the best one.
Off out to sign up some clients now so I'll see y'all later...
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-x-
Morning Chrissie!
ANYBODY ELSE THERE????
Where has everyone gone?
Talking of spooky places, I do not get spooked easily at all and do not believe in ghosts in any shape or form. One of the best shows on TV is Living TV's Most Haunted - it makes me howl with laughter!!! I remember the Edinburgh Vaults one which involved seances and stuff and doors closing unexpectedly, temperature changes and all that! So you should be in for some fun Chrissie!
There is one place though that did make my skin crawl and I will never re-visit - the German Underground Hospital in Guernsey. Never felt a sensation like it and hope to never do again!
Anyway - if there is anyone out there today apart from Chrissie and I - have a laugh on me:
An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results.
The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"
George replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! the light goes off."
"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife. "Ethel," he says, "George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?"
"Oh my God!" Ethel exclaims. "He's peeing in the fridge again!
A x
I'm here! A little later than normal, but clocking in for duty sir!
Love the joke amanda - reminds me of my friends husband who got up one night to go to the bathroom and somehow managed to find his way into the wardrobe (he is over 6 foot and it was a smallish wardrobe so it was quite a feat!). Luckily she woke up in time before any damage was done, although I think she nearly got a hernia laughing so much. I do beleive he had partaken of some alcohol earlier in the evening ...
I went to the German Underground Hospital in Jersey once. It was one of the saddest and creepiest places I'd ever been in and I wouldn't go back if you paid me. Fair gave me the creeps it did.
Amanda and Analog - right that's settled it - no German Hospital for me in the future! I can't bear to be frightened and I just know I will be tomorrow!
Amanda, very well done on the jokes front. Keith will be so pleased you are taking care of business while he's on holiday!
Thinking of all our absentees - just get back here when you can, o.k?
C xx
Analog - I have been to the one in Jersey as well, but it didn't do the same as the Guernsey one did to me!!
Chrissie - they are underground hospitals built by POW's for the Germans when the Channel Islands were occupied in WW2. Goodness only knows what or who is plastered into the walls. Very, very sad and atmospheric.
A x
Hope everyone is OK as it has gone awful quiet in here - come out, come out, wherever you are!
Underground hospitals! Sounds very spooky to me, wouldn't catch me going to visit one of those, don't like the above ground sort very much!
It is very very quiet on here today, where is everyone? DO you think they've sneaked off for a crafty party while we weren't looking in NC1? I'm off to investigate!!! Now is most definitely not the time Kato!
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-xx-x-
Here is a link about said German Underground Hospital in Guernsey:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/guernsey/content/articles/
2004/07/20/german_military_underground_
hospital_about_feature.shtml
If it doesn't work - sorry am not too good at the techi stuff! Where is Hazel when you need her - hope she is ok, and the rest of the missing masses!
A x
And for Analog - the Jersey one:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/jersey/about_jersey/
historic_sites/history_
germanundergroundhospital.shtml
A x
Ta for my very own link!
What I didn't say was that when we came out of the Jersey hospital into the sunshine (which had never looked better) we found ourselves at some sort of fete and I was pushed into a queue which turned out to be to shake hands with Ken Dodd. That made my day complete. How much more creepiness could a woman fit into one day?
Hazel has had to be absent today due to her pooter playing silly beggars but she hopes to be back with us tomorrow!
I've been having a horrible time of late and the last straw was having to wait today to hear if 'im indoors was still going to have a job. Thankfully the decision was taken that he is safe but I have to say, I've hardly breathed at all for the last few days. Hopefully the bad patch is almost over .... sorry I've been AWOL, without even a note from me mum, but I should be back in the land of t'living tomorrow.
jollygit xx
Analog - terrific and quirky story!
My blog friends, I am heading off into the hills. Well, to the train station at least.
Take care of the blog, hopefully some others will be along shortly!
Have a great weekend when it comes and see you Monday!
C xx
Hello!
Long time no read/write!
Sorry I've been away, but life is just getting busier and busier!
Workign silly hours - project goes live tomorrow and so have to be a bit of a fire fighter - I took more than 60 calls today, sent 45 e-mails and received 50 - phew!!! Not much likelihood of a quiet weekend either, as I'm working tomorrow night until 2 am, back to the office for 10 am on Saturday, then Special Friend has planned an 18 mile bike ride for Sunday!
Special Friend is not a happy bunny. We really wanted to go on hols together in October and we even found a great holiday, but my mum won't have the kids for me :-( Ah well, that's life. They are MY kids, but oh, what a lovely dream!
Right lovely people, I'm going to log off, have a bath and go and see the man himself.
I do hope to be able to catch up soon - not even had a chance to read all the postings yet. Hope you;re all fine and dandy.
S xx.
The flight over was uneventful, but pleasant. Surveillance cameras show you were at the hotel inBuckhead this evening when all hell broke loose.
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The flight over was uneventful, but pleasant. Surveillance cameras show you were at the hotel inBuckhead this evening when all hell broke loose.
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