Friday 9 March 2007

Go gently with me...

Ow. My head hurts. Can you please keep the noise down to a whisper...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night. All I know is I don't feel too good. You'd better ask McCrumble - he was driving.
I am off now to drink a bucket of coffee and lie down somewhere in a dark room. I'll try to be back for lunchtime.
As it happens, I do have my Cornish tartan shirt on today, hope that will be OK...if I'm still unconscious at 1, just take it off me.

180 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's oh so quiet, it's oh so still, you're all alone...and so peaceful until...

I GET HERE AND I ONLY HAD A PINT OF LAGER, A PINT OF SHANDY AND TOW SMALL GINS AND TONICS!!!!!

Mind you, even though I left at 22.30 and was in bed by 23.30, I still feel like pants. Insomniacs are us. The boy woke me up at 05.00 to tell me he was off to work, and up until that point I hadn't been aware that he'd been home...I expect I'll find out later!

I take it the inaugural meeting of MooseMcCrumbleEnterprises went well then? Oh, sorry, you say you aren't entirely sure...

Cornish shirt eh? Does that mean it has extra cream...mmmmmmmmmm...lovely...

sssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
love
hazel
x

tip-toeing off now > > > > > >

Anonymous said...

oh poor Moose - Moose with a sore head reminds me of that Basil Fawlty sketch with the Moose head. 'hallo Major, how are you toooday?'

Hazel - loving the sound of the bird table (no pun intended). The birds are so lovely and vocal in the mornings - bless them.

time for caffeine

Gaby

Anonymous said...

Morning Moose - sorry to hear you're rough -must have been a good one.

Everyone ready for the trip to the Loch. I'm making up some sandwiches at the moment and have cake baking on the oven.

Anyne fancy a coffee and kit-kat meantime?

See you later.

EG

Anonymous said...

yes please eg(scotland) - are we allowed to dunk the kit-kat? It's never too early, surely?

Anonymous said...

Gaby - in my books, dunking is essential no matter the time. Coming right up ........

EG

Anonymous said...

had a text from nessie - she says she might have to go out today so can you just be patient in case she doesnt get back in time.

She also wondered if anyone had any pickled oinion monstor munch - apparently she cant get them for love nor money at the moment.

Ill pop to our local shops, im sure i can find some.

Moose - a pack of flamin hot for you? sure to give you a pep up!

Anonymous said...

: )

do you think we better give the 'snogs around the camp fire' a miss this morning as Moose is a little fragile?

Anonymous said...

SORRY!! should have read 'SONGS around the camp fire'

Gaby

Anonymous said...

SORRY!! should have read 'SONGS around the camp fire'

Gaby

Anonymous said...

Oh Susan I do hope you did eventually have a good nights sleep. This may not help but it will get easier with the kids. Mrs B and I had 3 under the age of 4. Our middle child was 18 months before she slept through the night. So to some extent I understand what you are going through although time is a good heeler. Now it is full circle where they do not want to get out of bed…. I do not know which is worse?

I am pleased the boy’s contributions are appreciated. I am not sure moose is ready to give up is harem just yet (although he may be willing to haggle this morning).

Moose this may be one of the only places that anyone (especially a man)who has over indulged could get a little sympathy.

This may be just the time to bring out an old joke …..

This is a good wife, Enjoy!!!

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses... "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie h?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

"But my sweet honey...at the bar....you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? ....."LISTEN UP
DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE F*CK UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR BLOODY FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR F*CKING HORS D'OEUVRES. BECAUSE YOU’RE MARRIED A@SE ISN’T GOING TO A F*CKING BAR! THAT SH1T IS OVER...GOT IT, A@SEHOLE?"

…..and, they lived happily ever after.

Keith the BigUn
xx

Anonymous said...

Did someone mention kit-kat? Yes please ;-) I will put the kettle on.

Keith
x

Anonymous said...

Keith - brilliant joke, brilliant : )

Anonymous said...

Keith - nice on. And kit-kat coming over NOW ....!

Anna - if you don't get monster munch let me know - the local shop has it. Personally I find that the pickled onion draws my cheeks together. Which ones? - well you'll find out by the Loch.

Gaby - snogging would be quiter than songs round the Loch ..... well maybe not everyone.

More kit-kat?

EG

Anonymous said...

Keith - that should have said NICE ONE but I'm sure that what you're wearing is nice on too.

EG

Anonymous said...

that's assuming Keith is clothed

Anonymous said...

Oh yes - better look. VERY NICE ONE - Keith. Make sure you wear your kilt today.

EG

Does this mean I get sent to the naughty corner - hope not? Sorry Keith.

jollygit said...

MORNING MOOSE!!!!!!!! Oops, sorry .....

I'm in me kilt in honour of our Nessie-watching lunch today but as it's quite chilly on the old shores today, I'm keeping me drawers on underneath. Thought you'd be relieved!!

Just got myself a cuppa but sadly no kit-kit, so will be sulking while you all go a-dunking.

See you all soon xxxx

Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

Moose -frankly I'm not surprised you are feeling a bit dreary this morning. I spoke with Dr Booth earlier and he is much the same. Moaning something about never drinking tequila shots ever again. I, as you will probably surmise, have no such problems, as I was stone cold sober the whole evening. Still, I'm glad the two of you got along.

Anonymous said...

ooh, does one of our members (ahem) like David Cassidy. I am SURE I remember someone saying so. Anyway, just wanted to inform that he is on Matthew Wright on Ch 5. Was it Anna?

laters

Anonymous said...

Jollygit - here have one of my kit-kats. Plenty to go round.

EG

jollygit said...

EG - the kit-kat was deelish, thank you. Very kind of you to share your snackeroos with me. I'm not sure I'd be so generous with my food!! My mum always said that I eat as if everything's going to be taken away from me at any minute!!!!

Spose that explains why I'm not a size zero!

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

Looking forward to lunch by the loch, but is tartan entirely nessie-sary? I try not to wear checks or hoops as they make my bum look big(ger) ... and I think Moose might find the variety of patterns a little hard on his eyes today!

I've got some ginger beer cooling in the fridge. I'll bring the headache pills too, just in case.

Anonymous said...

Firstly, watch what you're doing with those two fingers, you'll have someones eye out.

Secondly, they're not the same since they stopped wrapping them in foil that got stuck to your fillings are they?

Kit-kats that is...

Gaby, I NEVER assume that Keith is fully clothed. Come to that, we could all be sitting here in the buff...that'd make for some fun photies for Susan to load eh?

I can definitely feel a Naughty Corner coming on. It's just around the corner from Hangover Avenue for those of you watching in black and white...and QUELLE COINCIDENCE MSR MCCRUMBLE, I too abstained from the tequila shots.

For the picnic today I shall be wearing the tartan from the Clan Douglas...just because I can. I'm sharpening my Skein Dhu (sp?) and polishing (that's shining, not teaching it a foreign language) up my Sporran. I shall be bringing two wild boar, if anyone can build a spit? McCrumble? Having spent some time in the wild I'm sure you'd be able to knock one up in a minute?

Och aye the noo
love
hazel
x

ps the local shop is doing a deal on Scampi Fries. Should I bother?

ps. Actually, have just seen my first post and it would appear I was towing gin and tonic, and have just remembered I rounded off the evening with a Bailey's shot. It was easier than waiting for a dessert is my excuse...

Anonymous said...

Jollygit - I work very hard to avoid size zero and I think you should too - so here's another kit-kat......

Muted tones for kilts today then - in order to protect the over-indulgent. Buy the way boys, it's very blowy up here today so you might want to put weights around the bottom of your kilts. (DARN!- why did I say that!) Actually, the wind has suddenly dropped and it's perfectly calm so no need for weights. And should it suddenly get up and woooooosh up yer kilt - well don't worry - us girls won't look.

Anyone see SUSAN S? Susan - wake up. It's your party by the loch today. Remember you said you would speak to the Nessies (yes, there is more than one!) and get one of them to do a special guest appearance today. Com on Pet, wakey, wakey.

EG

Anonymous said...

annalog, I hope you'll be bringing some MacAroons too!

George and Timmy are on their way to pick up Dick.




ok ok I'm going...time for a smack with a whip arrester...ALL RIGHT! I SAID I WAS GOING...

Anonymous said...

WILL YOU GIRLS KEEP THE NOISE DOWN PLEASE!!!!! MOOSE ISN'T WELL!!!

Good morning, all! We're all bright and early today! Well .... most of us are bright!

Too late for a dunk?

Thanks for the encouragement, Keith! Finally got her off at 12.30am, then she was up at 3.30am again! Think I'll leave her with Nessie!

Moose, will you be upset if I bring venison burgers? (Had the wild boar ones last night!)I may be late as I have to visit my pal who has just been chucked. I've left my sarnies, cava (couldn't afford the real stuff!), burgers, milk, sugar, tea, coffee, nettle tea and veg soup in a cool bag under the old oak tree, beside the big rock!And the box with the plastic cups, glasses and cutlery are under the hazel tree just to the left of the old oak tree. The rug, napkins and rain macs are underneath the jetty. Nessie is keeping an eye on it all and will eat anyone who goes near it!

Huggles, each and every one of you amazing people!

Moose McCrumble and creme fraich for me, please!

Susan <><

Anonymous said...

Susan, could you tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree too please.

I understand there is an outing of the Partially Sighted Nessie Spotters today, and we don't want them to confuse the yummy pile of food under a tree for the real thing and shoot it now do we?

I take it Nessie doesn't wear a collar?

Anonymous said...

Susan S - sorry for being loud - just very, very excited about our outing. And here's me thinking you were still in bed but in fact you were doing a good deed for a pal. Long time since I've heard the word - CHUCKED. Not that I ever was, you'll understand. IF there was chucking to be done then it was me doing it.

See you later.

EG

Anonymous said...

SusanS, please pass on our best regards to your friend.

Darn sarf, well at least I've heard it said rand 'ere, the colloquialism is 'Binned'. eg "I've binned 'er innit" (This would be a statement not a question)

eg, I hear you honey!

In the meanwhile, still munching on MooseMcCrumble with Cornish Cream...
love
hazel
x

ps Donald, where on earth are your trousers?

jollygit said...

The only wild boars I know are the guys here in the office who are driving me MAD!!!! I'd rather not bring them to the picnic, if you don't mind ....... their manners are atroshus.

I'll bring the lashings of ginger beer and lemonade - come on Timmy, heel xx

Anonymous said...

Good morning, Mr Moose! I promise not to make too much noise.

I am gutted I will miss the lunch today. You guys have the best lunches. However I am having a half day off to finish shopping for my delightful daughter's 16th birthday on Tuesday! As usual, I have bought FAR TOO MUCH. My husband will flip! Also, we have the prospect of a sleepover for 9 nine girls next Friday! We will be relegated to the bedroom
to watch Comic Relief - perhaps I can set up a wee bar in the wardrobe!

Keith - what a fantastic joke! Can anyone tell me how to cut and paste it? I would love to send it on!

Gaby - re: David Cassidy - I have, in my time, been interested in this young man. Well, not so young now! I will miss seeing him, but them's the breaks. I still insist his life would have much happier if he had married me!

Have a great day one and all!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Just re-reading posts - what's a whip arrester? Or shouldn't I ask? Or am I just naive? Or have I simply led a sheltered life? So many questions - bring on the answers!

And I've never been binned either.

EG

Citril said...

So ... when do we get to hear about the Moose McCrumble? Is there sultanas with that?

Don't tell the lads, girls, but there's a force 7 on the Loch! Should make for an interesting lunch! Think we should ban sausages, though!

Now lads, don't forget your skian dubhs for the oysters. You are bringing the oyesters, aren't you Gaby?

Now I've found a really sturdy Scots pine, to the right of the old oak tree, and have designated it as the naughty tree. But, please, no lingerie this time, it disturbs Nessie's kids!

Hazel L - hope you are recovered enough for lunch! How can you get a hang over on that piddling wee amount?!

Anna - can you get some salad and beetroot whilst you are at it?

Gaby - you'll be going straight to the naughty tree if you snog before lunch! EG - there is room up there for you too!

Keith - hope you have a HUGE pile of jokes for the camp fire!

Anyone seen MfR?

Jollygit - what did you get for pud? I think Granny Murray may have some clootie dumpling.

Dr McC - are you bringing a wee nip or two of single malt? Perhaps need to make it a very wee one for Moose!

Annalog - a tarten scarf or knickers will suffice! I love ginger beer!

Hazel Love - I could do one of those calenders and sell it for Dr McC's charity!!! What would you be sitting on or behind?!

Right, my pal has just texted that she's home from the GP. Please make sure you leave me some food!

Huggles, Susan

Anonymous said...

To wear the kilt is my delight
It isna wrong, I know its right
The Moose People would get a fright
If they saw me in the troosers ..

Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low,
Through the streets in my kilt I'll go,
And all the lassies shout hello

Anonymous said...

Yay! Party at Chrissie S's on Tuesday!!! Oh, what shall I wear!?

Citril said...

'What you laughing at, Mummy?'

'Something that Hazel said, honey.'

'Oh,' says the child!

Anonymous said...

Morning all, thank goodness it's Friday! Will try to make it to the Loch Ness Trip, have put some oatcakes in my bag, I have nothing tartan but I will see if I can pick up a Tam o'shanter on the way!

Here is some terrible humour for Friday:

So Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase and he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

You invented Tipp Ex, correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End'

So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"

So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel.

I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."

So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R.

I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue, and I couldn't put it down.

I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on.

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?? I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

So I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, "You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana." He said, "No, this is for the custard."

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to trace someone for me."

So this lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."

So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."

I phoned the local builders today, I said to them "Can I have skip outside my house?" He said, "I'm not stopping you!"

So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"

So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" He said "You're closest"

So I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought that's Aboriginal.

I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said "I careered off the road"

I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny you couldn't swing a cat in there.

I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on three counts.

I bought a train ticket and the driver said "Eurostar" I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

So I went to the local video shop and I said, "Can I take out The Elephant Man?" He said, "He's not your type." I said "How about Batman Forever?" He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow"

x

Anonymous said...

Oo, Amanda, do you have some Crathie to go with the oatcakes? See you there ... I'll probably be late myself, so if you get there bafore me make sure they keep me some food.

Who's building the fire?

Anonymous said...

Amanda - very, very good.

Decided I would wear my black leather mini kilt today - then remembered it was being cleaned coz I spilt me porage down it last week. Oh yes, we Scots have embraced the 21st century with oor kilts. Didn't you see our First Minister in his - no see below:

http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&aq=jack%20mcconnell%20in%20kilt&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLR,GGLR:2006-05,GGLR:en&q=jack+mcconnell+in+kilt&oe=UTF-8&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi

Look at image 14 "That kilt"

This was much celebrated - or rather ridiculed.

Think I'll go traditional today.

EG

Anonymous said...

blimey you lot have been busy, dunking and hunking and gerlumfing..is there room for a littish (no, big but flexiable) one?
Jollygit -Dark Kit kats are the best! Oh and don't you just love it if a bit of the biscuit is missing and it's a pure chocolate finger!
Moose..Sorry your head is sore, today is the day to have a bacon and egg sandwich and full fat coke, that'll sort you out. how's the sausage?
Hazel - go for it on the scampi fries...however if bacon crispies are on offer, I've have a dozen, please. Ooh, and do you want a flash? .... .......................flashes (sock holder uppers with ribbon) when wearing scottish dress kilt?
Keith - that was a real laugh out loud joke, glad i'm at home cos i deffo would have got funny looks in the office.
Dr McCrumble - give us the goss, then..what happened..is the furryantlered one a hard drinker? Was a new multinational corporation started?
Gaby..once we get to the loch i think you should just go to the naughty corner...you know, like contributing to the swear box as soon as you walk into the office..just so you can. And - neat glasses (pretty eyes)..wher'd ya get them?
hazel - i assume it's you......george and timmy and dick are coming..golly gosh! What about Aunt Fanny and uncle Quinten?
Eg (scotland) - what's in your sandwiches..d'you want some smoked salmon, oak or beech or apple smoked?
anna - cheesy feet monster munch are next best to pickled onion- or have a combination by mixing 1 pack of each!
annalog - you are so thoughtful, maybe moose'd like hair of the dog? or is it hair of the moose??
Susan S - all back to yours after the picnic then? Will the charabanc cope? ooh and now I'm signed up for Xanga too..how did i do that?

I was drinking baileys last night, and very nice it was too..with ice..yum (2 tumblers full)

See ya later..when's the charabanc coming?
Love caroline x

Anonymous said...

AMANDA! FAN-BLEEDIN-TASTIC! Tommy Cooper's finest I believe?

ChrissieS, left click to the left of the first letter of the text you want, drag the mouse down until you've highlighted all the text you want, right click and you should get a drop-down list, left click copy, go to the document you want to paste to, right click again and you'll get the same drop-down, but with the option to paste, left click on paste, and it should appear before your very.

...and a copy of an email just sent to me by one of my buds I was out with last night. Glad she made it to work...

A 98 year old woman wrote this to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in The Times.

Dear Sir,

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three 'nanoseconds' must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal,
overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no
longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my
account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

1-- To make an appointment to see me.
2-- To query a missing payment.
3-- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4-- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5-- To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6-- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7-- To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later
date to the Authorised Contact.)
8-- To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 8
9-- To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.

Your Humble Client

Remember: This was written by a 98 year old woman; DOESN'T SHE MAKE YOU PROUD!!?)
********************************

Are we meeting at 1pm again? Give the Moose a chance to get his antlers shaved and things?

Anonymous said...

B*gger link not working - hope these do.

Here's Jack - but not the photo I wanted:

http://news.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?tid=806&id=82322005

Pick your kilt from this lot:

http://www.dressedtokilt.com/tartan_day_040306.html

Anonymous said...

Oh, meant to say HUGE thanks to Lyndyloo, Caroline and Hazel for the comments on Xanga - thanks for taking the time to do that.

Caroline - that is priceless!

Right, I'm oot the door!

Anonymous said...

B*gger! Sh*te! ****

Susan - I'll make my way straight to the naughty tree.

Can someone give me a quick refresher course in posting a link coz it's not working again.

Caroline - I'm bringing BLTs and Chicken Ceasar and Cheese and Tomato and Cornbeef and Tomato and Cheese Savoury and Chicen Salad and .... and .... and .... Been making sandwiches all morning - do you think I've made to many? Third cake coming out the oven. Then that's it - will get the car packed up and leaving soon.

Chrissie S - thanks for the invire to the party and sleepover. Will we all get into your bedroom?

EG

Anonymous said...

OK - the pick your kilt link is working. Girls - look at Two Generations of Cox Buttocks!

EG

jollygit said...

Susan S - I've got the pudding here - I thought spotted dick today in honour of the boys and their kilts ....... do I get to eat my lunch before going to the naughty tree?

Who invited the charabanc? She uses the same knife for the butter and the pickerleelee and ruins it for everyone else.

Can't we tell her it's been cancelled ......

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

Infamy north o' the border, hoorah - I can neither confirm or deny that the quotes of terrible humour came from the man himself but are certainly 'in the style of' - I think some of them are a bit modern to be his - God rest his soul.

Hats off to the 98 year old and the letter to the bank - fantastic writing!

Susan S - I will be bringing Crathie to go with the oatcakes, and my hip flask for medicinal purposes!

x

lyndyloo said...

Am I too late to join in the journey to the picernic?

Yiipppeeeee! Have secured my ticket to see my heros "the police" in concert later on this year....I am a truly happy bunnikins!!!!!!!

I'll bring the pickled shallots and the stilton, I've just picked them up from the farrrrm shop.

Ooooh arrrr

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

Hello all

I would love to join you all, but I'm unfortunately embedded here in Camrbridge for a while doing some collaborative work with Dr Booth (providing he shows his face this morning). I'll drink a wee toast to you all this evening

J McC

P.S. I'll blog the gory details of what happened last night, today or tomorrow

Anonymous said...

Gaby and EG you are naughty! I know it is Friday but to but to put the image of me naked or even in a Kilt (I do not have the ankles for one) in these poor peoples minds would be too much I am sure! ;-)

I am pleased you all seem to like the joke ;-) and do not worry I am far from finished I still have a barrel load ready for the camp fire.

Have to agree with the dark chocolate kit-kats are almost too good to share.

Keith the BigUn
xx

FINALLY, A BLONDE JOKE! (other colored hair is available)

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

Anonymous said...

lovely friends,

I leave you for a couple of hours and all sorts of stuff has been happening.!!! : )

Have come straight to the naughty corner - cut out the middle man - that's what I say. : )

Dr J McC - we can't wait 'til tomorrow : )

What fun - a picnic. Great fun with the boys in kilts on a windy day. WAHAYYYY : )

Anonymous said...

Are we there yet?

Are WE there YET?

ARE WE THERE YET?

Anonymous said...

Keith - we wouldn't be looking at your ankles

Anonymous said...

When the kit kats run out try the dark chocolate Flake - they're scrummy!

Love the jokes folks. It must be the way you tell 'em!

just finishing off the filing before I set off. I have, as instructed, donned tartan underpinnings. Will pick up some macaroons on the way to go with the ssssooouuuppp for Miss Babs.

Anonymous said...

is cox buttocks an oxymoron?

Anonymous said...

Dahlings, it would appear that all the Virgin Sleepers have cancelled.

Therefore, please can I ask, that if it all goes dark around 1pm, and it looks like either an eclipse or a Zeppelin coming in to land, don't panic, because it'll just be me arriving by jet pack, and wearing a pair of stirrup pants.

Please don't shoot.

I thank you
love
hazel
x

What noise does a Scottish skijumper make?

WHEEEEEeeeeeeee-----SHT!

Anonymous said...

Amanda - really, really funny! The girl I work with asked me what I was laughing at! If I tried to explain this blog to anyone, what would they think?!

Susan S and indeed all the girls - you are more than welcome to attend the party next Friday night. You must bring your own sleeping bags/duvets. We will be having a young lady join us to paint everyone's nails, smoothies will be rustled up in the kitchen and there will be party food by the ton! To give you some idea of my lovely daughter, she asked if we could decorate the living room with fairy lights. I said to her "you are aware this is deepest darkest Glasgow, not ruddy Hollywood"!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Moose might throw me out for this one - I promise to go to the naughty corner if you let me come to the Nessie luncheon - am on my way now!

How to shower like a woman:

Take off clothes and place then in sectioned laundry basket according
to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire
rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner. Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super
absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How to Shower Like A Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time
washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those course bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return
to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

Hope you are all laughing - this one had me in tears!

x

jollygit said...

EG - I've just seen the kilts - phwoar, Chris Capaldi - yes pleeese!!!! Mind you, Tim Vincent ain't half bad too!

Never tried the dark chocolate kit-kat - where have I been?????!!!!

My bus is just around the corner so I'm on me way with the spotted dick - see you soon.

jollygit x

jollygit said...

Amanda - LOL - priceless!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

amanda - brilliant!!!!

I especially loved the 'tile mould' bit and the 'woo-hoo'!!!! lol

Anonymous said...

Amanda, great jokes..
EG
i've just looked at kilts too...tim vincent phwoor!
err, Don't think you'll be needing the smoked salmon then!
I've put the charabanc off, so it's me on shanks pony..i'll be late
can't wait to hear the exploits of our fluffy antlered friend.

love caroline x

Anonymous said...

I'm here ....... and the view from the top of the naughty tree ...... well ..... it's worth being naughty for. Can't see up the kilts from here though!

EG

Anonymous said...

Infamy,

Thank you for your reply with regard to cut and paste. Can't get it to work! When I highlight the joke, then right click, the highlighted stuff goes back to un-highlighted! I know, trying to explain this is really clumsy!

Anyway, you and the troops are presently doing the Highland Fling, so just ignore me! Perhaps we can, as Sarah Kennedy would say, re-group on Monday. If spared!! (drives me nuts when she says that).

I am leaving now, party shop here I come! Have a great weekend - hope you have recovered Moose!

C xx

Anonymous said...

ChrissieS,

(now I have finished wiping the tears away, and haven't even finished reading the thing but have emailed straight away to 1,206 people to appreciate too)

try asking your daughter if she would prefer 'Wee Pishkie Lights' instead.

They tend to go on and off at will, use more electricity in ten minutes than can be supplied by the national grid in a month, fizzle and spit if you get too close, and drink you out of house and home especially if you have any Whicksy in the hoose...and that's just if you don't keep an eye on them.

Available from Woolco, Poundsaver, Robert Dyas and after a bang to the heed.

Jo said...

Hello :o)

I'm here again - who do I hand the note from my mum into explaining my absence yesterday - Work stuff, how very dare they!

You'll all be glad to know that I've bought monster loads of Monster munch (pickled onion as requested), and Soreen was BOGOF at the Coop last night so I have a few of those around here somewhere too.

Luckily I managed to pop in and find out where everyone was going to be today otherwise I would have been left lonely at me desk... Boo Hiss.

Did anyone bring Twister? Apparantly it's quite good fun although not sure about mixing twister with Kilts, could be dangerous!

:o) Jo

Anonymous said...

Chrissie S - re your cutting & pasting problems. Highlight the text you want to copy, let go of the mouse and press Control [Ctrl] & C together to copy it. To paste into an email or other document just press Ctrl & V.

Now ... lunch! Here I come, ready or not.

Anonymous said...

Mmmmmmmm - the food is so good. Anyone up for doing the Highland Fling yet? (other dances are available).

EG

Jo said...

Is there any cheese???

Anonymous said...

Right, you lot! Where's my lunch!

And who's that up the naughty tree already!?

Citril said...

Oooo .... Keith ... is that a .....

Anonymous said...

Having referred to my Pickrin/English dictionary, for those of you as yet uninitiated into the magical cult of Soreen (we're not worthy) I have translated.

'Malt loaf was available at a discounted price if one purchased such in multiples of two at the hen house yesterday evening'.

So who's got the Anchor?

Over 2 yew lyndyloo...

...and finally, Friday's Pome, entitled 'Hank'

The guys have gone and left me
I'm here and all alone
I wish I had my address book
So many people I could phone

I'm absolutely starving
A maltloaf I could trough
But they've gone off to a deli
So we'll have loads of fancy stuff

I cannot wait for too long
I'll swoon or faint away
Though the later I have lunch now
Makes it a shorter day

The work of a geeeeenious!

It's only the unbearable lightness of head that is holding any interest for me at work today. I finished todays work SO early, and the rest I'll be given on Monday. I have a book and a magazine. I also have a spare fuse for some 'Wee Pishkie Lights' that I had to junk after a letter from the council.

Anonymous said...

.....with a backpack on myback, fulderree faulderrah fulderree faulder rah ha ha...ooh hello!

Any sandwiches left?
Has moose appeared?
Who's in the naughty tree?

if you give me a push i can do dashing white sergent, and strip the willow.

Love caroline x

Anonymous said...

Chrissie S - my hubby is sitting on the sofa, here in the coffee house, cos I said I had to come meet you guys for lunch on Loch Ness! I think he thinks I've finally cracked! LOL

Someone pass the soup and a bit of wild boar ... I'm baltic!

Anonymous said...

Jo, cheese on the board hon, careful with the brie though, best faced with a spoon.

Citril said...

EG - I can't read the kilts link just now cos the coffee house is in a kirk!!!

Amanda - scarily close to the truth!

Moose said...

Sorry I'm a bit late for lunch. I got carried away with the Guinness and a beach scene in Ireland.
Now, getting carried away with the Guinness is ringing some bells from last night...they are very loud bells though. Can someone turn the volume down a bit?
I can't wait to see what happened last night too. My mind is a blank.

I think I'll stick to the soup and dry crackers if it's all the same with you...although can I not sit under the naughty tree, the view up Keith's kilt from here could easily result in some yawning of the multi-coloured kind...

Anonymous said...

you lot are so funny.

it's me up the tree - and a couple of others. It's much more fun up here than being with the Blog Police in Beeb Towers. We have malt loaf and lashings of beetroot soup....anchors away

gAby

Anonymous said...

I'm all for Strip the Hazel

Anonymous said...

Anyone for a gay gordens?

Just a quickie then I have to take Mumpy back to work! Save some cheese for me!

Hugggggllllleeeeesssss!

PS - bet they are not having this much fun next door!

Anonymous said...

you know, if there is any malt loaf left, i've got a recipe for malt loaf/bread and butter pudding and also maltloaf icecream which are supposed to be brill.
hazel..can you write a poem incorporating Nessie and brylcreme and antimacassers? I wonder??
Im looking forward to the spotted dick...where's jillygoat?

Love caroline x

Anonymous said...

High on the fumes was a lonely Moose, heard, layeoddle layeoddle lay HE HOOOO

Anonymous said...

...and Caroline, I DO love a challenge. How long have I got, and can I start it after we've cleared up? Can't balance a pad, pen, champagne, plate and a beachball all at once y'see...

Anonymous said...

1. dashing white moose
2. Big 'Un Pierrette
3. Circassian Love Circle
4. Jillygoat Two Step
5. Highland Lass Medley
6. little Girl (naughty corner)
7. Kelvingrove Chrissie S Two Step
8. Dunoon Gaby Barn Dance
9. Gay Gordons
10. Bluebell Annalog Polka
11. (Jo) Achill Island
12. Shores Of Loch E.G
13. Gaelic Waltz Mccrumble Selection
14. Eightsome Anna Reel
15. Wind On Loch Fyne ooer Amanda
16. Master MfR Hornpipe
17. Strip The Willow
18. Violin Solo - Mr C E
19. Old Tyme Mary Waltz
20. Dundee Eight Hundred

no offence!
love caroline x

Anonymous said...

Done it!Whilst walking out in Scotland
I came across a herd
Of little baby monsters
And a big Macassar bird

I stopped just for a moment
And pondered for a while
If I covered them with Brylcreme
They could hang around in style

Just then I saw a movement
From a loch so far away
My Goodness! Is that Nessie
Got home from fair Islay?

I quickly packed my satchel
And hid behind a tree
I prayed to all the heavens
That she wouldn’t notice me

I decided to leave well alone
And crept off to my car
All the while not knowing
Nessie's Anti-Macas Sar

Caroline, for you, because I like to try!

Anonymous said...

Although this minor rearrangement of the last verse helps it scan slightly better..

Whilst walking out in Scotland
I came across a herd
Of little baby monsters
And a big Macassar bird

I stopped just for a moment
And pondered for a while
If I covered them with Brylcreme
They could hang around in style

Just then I saw a movement
From a loch so far away
My Goodness! Is that Nessie
Got home from fair Islay?

I quickly packed my satchel
And hid behind a tree
I prayed to all the heavens
That she wouldn’t notice me

I decided to leave well alone
And crept off to my car
All the while not knowing Ness
Ie's Anti Macas Sar

Anonymous said...

Hazel
you should be on the stage,..what a fabulous poem and so quick!!
I will cut and paste and place it upon my fridge!

Hope you're not all too breathless from your dances

love caroline x

Anonymous said...

Hazel where did you get the champagne??? I could only find some rough old scrumpy and I've a nasty feeling that Moose won't be alone in the technicolour yawn department before long.

Gaby - will you give that squirrel his nuts back - NOW! He's been saving them all winter.

I'm up for a bit of scottish country dancing - did anyone bring swords? or is that too dangerous with my peep toed DMs?

Anonymous said...

I got the champagne from a passing Tinker £10 each. The rest of the bottles are just down there in the wee cool pool...and I'd SO be up for some country dancing but I have tied my hands into my laces.

Anonymous said...

........and just as I was setting off to join the picnic, the second in command appears in the office fresh from the airport after an overnight longhaul flight to spoil my fun!!!

Anyway it is now too late for me to appear, and the naughty tree sounded so inviting, so I will enjoy my oatcakes, Crathie and hip flask....... a bientot!

In case I do not get a chance to post again today, am off on a course next week so will be absent until Friday, so have a good one y'all!

Missing you already........

x

Anonymous said...

hazel - lol!! : )

annalog - nuts lol!! so many one-lines rushing into my murky mind!! - but it's too early, although some would say it's never too early.

'a rough old scrumpy'...I've been called worse : )

McCrumble's gone quiet - do you think he is composing HIS account

Anonymous said...

Can we all bear in mind that Aunt Fanny wants her cups and saucers back, and if Timmy has licked anything, please can you rinse it off first.



It's getting mighty snug up the naughty tree...I'm getting neck ache too. No Keith, I'm BIRD WATCHING - do you not listen to anything I say?

heh heh heh...bird watching...sounds like Rachel...heee heeeee

Anonymous said...

oh my, a very large united parcel service, brown lorry has passed my abode. He is turning round and heading for my house. Do you think he has heard on the grapevine about the floor laying man being able to keep his motor running while he did his laying!! Perhaps a gauntlet has been laid 'n' all

watch this floor

Jo said...

Who's kilt is that? disappearing under water on the head of a nessie??

Should we be calling the family ness to sort it out, and if one of the nessies has stolen a kilt does that mean we have bare bottoms running around, I'm looking at you here Keith! (Big Un by name and all that)

You can knock it,
You can rock it,
You can go to Timbuktu,
But you'll never find a Nessy in the zoo.
You may see an Anaconda, or Giraffe and Kangaroo,
But you'll never see a Nessy in a zoo.....

:o)Jo

PS - is it safe for pregnant people to climb naughty trees??

jollygit said...

Hoorah - I'm here!!!! Oh ..... where is everybody? Och well, looks like I've got a spotted dick all to meself - ho hum.......

Hope you had a nice lunch - I got sent out on an errand. The boss thought I might like some fresh air. I started to say I'd be getting fresh air whilst at lunch and then realised that he had no idea what I was on about ....... so I went on the errand and missed me virtual picnic - and Nessie, by the sound of it.

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

That's not fair! I take a 20minute work break and you all go off and hide.

I can hear a russell in the booshes though...Comin' ta getcha!

Ooooh sardines...

lovely.

Anonymous said...

Was that Russell Grant or Russel Brand in the bushes? It has a bearing on whether I join in the sardines ....

Anonymous said...

There's still plenty! We were just clearing up, but the fire's still going and the rug is snug!

Anonymous said...

If it's Russell Brand in the bushes, Cathmel is sure to be nearby! Hope it's not a gorse bush!

Have put another request into ARF - spoke to the delectable Nic last Friday, but didn't make the show!

Don't forget there is recycling bags for the rubbish! Anyone for a quick skiny dip? Oh, go on Keith ... Nessie already has your kilt, let her come and get the rest!

Citril said...

Should I ... shouldn't I ... dare I ... don't I????

Is it being greedy???


Stuff it .......

100!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Can I come down out of this tree yet? If all of you ladies who have congregated under the tree “bird watching” would just move slightly I would not like to have an accident on the way down for here.

Keith
x

Anonymous said...

I'll have cream on mine please

Anonymous said...

Aww ... but, Keith, the views awfy bonny from doon here!

Anonymous said...

I was busy admiring a rather fine cock, but I suppose I could shift over.

Mind your feet though please.

Citril said...

Lyndyloo .... did you Blog Police me from your email!?! I keep getting a failure notice!!

Anonymous said...

Jo you should be OK in the naughty tree if you take it carefully - its only Nickerless Parsons shouldn't climb trees.

Anonymous said...

HAZEL!!

Get up that naughty tree now!!! I've just spluttered diet coke (other diet drinks are available but are nae so good!) all over the laptop!!!

Citril said...

Annalog - Has Big Un changed his name ?!

Moose said...

Susan,
First - congrats again...
Second - are you spying on me? I have not five minutes ago written the word "skinny-dipping" in a certain other document...I skip back over here to see who had stuck their flag in the ground, and you are talking about it too. Serendipity. Now if I can just change the location to Loch Ness from the Irish Sea....nah too difficult.

Anonymous said...

knickerless on a friday, who'd have thought it. Thank goodness for doylies

Anonymous said...

Has anyone seen my ptarmigan? Its blue with flowery buttons. Only it's getting a bit chilly and I wanted to put it round my shoulders.

Moose said...

Ooh nelson everyone. Quick Hop up and down on one leg.

There's a place in Alaska called Chicken. They were going to name it after the state bird, but they couldn't spell Ptarmigan.

Anonymous said...

Re: Bird Watching.

Spit or Swallow?

Over to you, Sue...

Anonymous said...

There's a place in California called Alcatraz. They were going to name it after the Bird Man, but they lost the piece of paper with his details on it.

Anonymous said...

Moose ... what are we going to do with Hazel!?!

Anonymous said...

I didn't gargle!!!!

Anonymous said...

Moose .... look behind you .....

BOO!

MWAHAHA ....

Anonymous said...

Give us a hand someone - I hopped when Moose said nelson but have unfortunately over balanced and am unable to right myself.

Anonymous said...

Well, blow me, talk about kowinkydinks. First of all there's the skinny dipping, now the chaps in the other office are talking about Ptarmacand. Apparently it is a type of road covering.

please wake me up when they've finished...no no you'd be better taking the M20...'scuse me...hand over mouth when yawning...

Ah, cold shower, just what I need...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! That's chilly!

Citril said...

Annalog ... is that fresh nettles you're stinging your bum on?! Pick them for me on your way back up and I'll make some soup later!

jollygit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jollygit said...

Just to bore you to bits, we've got two villages down here in Kent (aksherly we've got a lot more than two but these two are special ... oh, you know what I mean). Now, where was I? Oh yes, these two villages ... they're called Ham and Sandwich!!!!!!! Honest guv ..

jollygit xx

jollygit said...

I must have got an itchy digit cos my comment just appeared twice, so I deleted one of them, just in case you were wondering what had happened .......

jollygit

Citril said...

Oooo ... and there was me thinking someone had said something really naughty and deleted it!

Anonymous said...

Is it too early?

Moose said...

It's five o'clock somewhere...

Moose said...

...and Hazel, you had finished gargling before you crept up behind me and said Boo, didn't you? I'd hate to have to go to the dry cleaners on the way home. Monica and Bill (the couple that run my local one) always seem struggle to get the stains out.

Which reminds me, does anyone know if you can get DVDs of old Cap'n Pugwash episodes, or have they banned them too?

Anonymous said...

I thought it was me! Ooooh so close...

And hoorah, just when I thought Friday couldn't get any better, my lovely boss (either types of boss are available, I am SO lucky) has just given me a radio, for my office, hoorah! hoorah! hoorah!

annalog, if you ask nicely, Keith picked some dock leaves earlier (just in case!) and I'm sure he'd be delighted to massage any affected area?

Have just noticed the radio is called New Dawn Chorus - is he taking the pea because I STILL haven't had any birds partake of the free seed? Perhaps I should BOGOF it. Buy millet, get sunflower free.

Well b*gger me. Have just read 'This seed is ideal for the ground or your bird table'. Well the little ungrateful oiks will have to lump it then won't they. The seed is in the feeder. End of.

Now, to find a socket...hey, what are you two up to behind there, we thought you'd gone home!

Anonymous said...

Did some cry out for doc leaves? I will be right over!

Do you know you daren’t leave this picnic for a minuet… There are some very naughty girls here the corner must be full by now. :-))))

I hope you re all feeling cock-a hoop with yourselves ;-)

Keith the BigUn
xx

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about the dock leaves - I found an old tube of dust encrusted germolene in my kagoule pocket. That seems to have helped. But now I smell funny - how do I explain this when i get home????

Susan I've left the nettle tips near the pile of empty bottles.

Swallows? No thanks - too many calories for me. (If you didn't see Graham Norton last night this might not make sense.)

AL

jollygit said...

desperately seeking vino - remember, it's 5 o'clock somewhere!!!!

Jo said...

Well - had to leave the picnic early for a meeting - who in their right mind schedules a meeting for a Friday afternoon??

Anyway glad to finally say HOME TIME :o)

Hope you all have a fandabidozee weekend and probably see you all on Monday!

:o) Jo (disappointed about the lack of Twister / Kilt action)

jollygit said...

Moose - sorry for the repetitititition - you beat me to it. Must sort me itchy digit out

jollygit x

Anonymous said...

Cock-a-leekie soup, anyone?

And, Moose, honey ... you're getting your harem gals mixed up ... BOO!

Anonymous said...

swallows and amalgams

Anonymous said...

Could someone help me carry this lot back to the Blog-mobile, please? And Jollygit, could you check that rustling in the gorse bush - I'm sure it's either Caroline or Matt!

Now - pub or my place?

Anonymous said...

oh, oh.....it's friday night which means that I am going to be falling in love with Matthew Wright ALL OVER AGAIN.

My love life is a roller coaster

Anonymous said...

Goodnight.

See you later all

Have a super fabby weekend

Maybe comin' back a-later next week...

Hi MfR
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

Fabulous people have a great weekend ;-) I may just pop in to check for lurkers over the next few days!

Keith
xx

Anonymous said...

Keith it's a good job (ahem) you have helped Moose out today (following his night out with McCrumble) by helping him with a little harem handlling : )

GAby

Anonymous said...

Eeeehh? who? what? where am I? Did I fall asleep? Where everyone gone. Oh - too much eating, too much drinking, too much dancing. But what a great day. Thanks for organising Party at the Loch SUSAN. I'm off home now. How do I get down from the naughty tree? Heeeeeelp.

Have a great weekend everybody.

Luv

EG XXX

Anonymous said...

Well, that was a great day, guys and gals! Thanks so much for a lovely picnic .... I'll post photos of the Loch on my site tomorrow! I'll censor the ones with the skinny dipping and Keith losing his kilt ... oh, and the one of Cathmel and Russell Brand in that gorse bush ... oh, and then there was that one with MfR, Hazel, Dr JMcC, Jollygit, Caroline, Moose, and EG doing Strip The Hazel ... oh, aye, and that one with Annalog, Keith and the docking leaves .... oh, crikey, then there was that one with Amanda and Gaby wrestling in the mud over the clootie dumpling .... hmmm ....doesn't look like I have very many photos to post!

Better go recycle all the rubbish you messy lot left behind! Did we get everyone out of the tree? Nessie says 'Haste ye Back!'

Keith - I'll be lurking too, but please don't sneak up behind me!

Have a great weekend folks!

Love ya, hug ya, squeeze ya!

Susan <><

PS And I will try to fix you

Citril said...

Oh ... meant to say, finishing off a red from last night - not a screw so must go tonight. And a scrummy Dora fairy cake baked by my own fair daughter's hand (they really are scrummy ... she has just said, 'It's delicious!').

Any takers? EG - already poured yours!

Moose said...

Sorry Susan...you see I just have Hazel down as a gargler.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Anonymous said...

Chaps

Glad you all had a top lunch doon the loch.

It is somewhere I've always wanted to go.

Really. And virtually. Of course.

Did I get No. 1 next door, or will there be a stewards enquiry?

I love you all and will begin to join in your japes soon.

Your friend

MfR

PS Bedshaped

PPS I met Keane last week, did I mention it.......?

Anonymous said...

gaby, i feel i must put the record straight, tho i fear that i may be too late.

I am not a lover of david cassidy - crikey i hope someone fessed up to that in my absence, the street cred has just evaporated instantly!

will keep on reading and hope it turns out ok.

xx

PS cheers moose. ;o)

Anonymous said...

it would appear nobody did fess up to the cassidy crime, and now youve all gone home.

I am going to indulge in my chicken and bacon baked in creamy sweetcorn on my own then. Slurp the red, crack open the 70% and nod a toast to anyone who needs it tonight.

have a nice weekend all, i may be gone for some time.

xx

PS nice message MfR
PPS is it, not it cant be, yes it is
PPPS no......yes
PPPPS Nessie, how good of you to join me.

Anonymous said...

Cheers Anna

Have a good one

MfR

Anonymous said...

Anna ... though I've just polished off steak, rata2y and roast tatties, can I steal a mouthfull of your chicken? Mmmmmmmmmm .... cheers, ma dear! Your street cred has just gone back up now you've confessed that you are not David Cassidy's lover! What's the 70%?!

Matt - we all love you too, honeybun .... though I hope that Mrs MfR won't be too jealous of the MooseMcCrumbleMfR harem! You are both most welcome in Inverness any time!

Huggles!

Hope you are all having a fine Friday evening!

Anonymous said...

Oh .... that would be just sooooooooooooo greedy!!!!

Och, stuff it!

150!!!!!! YAY!!!!

Anonymous said...

Susan - another nice glass of red - you know me so well. I've just opened a screw top rose. here's one for you .... I'll pour a few just in case there are other takers.

DAVOD CASSIDY FAN - sorry I can't remember who it was now. He (David) phoned the Steve Wright show this afternoon. Did you hear him? He was on during the Ask Elvis slot. Anyway, if you missed him, then listen out because he going to be on that show in the next couple of weeks.

EG

Anonymous said...

Are you still about Susan?

The boy is just home, and I have him in his dressing gown already...I kept some dock leaves behind too, so I'm gonna be massaging his B-hind later I think...we shall see...

Moose, yet another great day sur le blogge...I'm having SUCH a great time!

Am currently at Edinburgh British Rail Station awaiting the Virgins to start running again...

By the way, I don't gargle. As i previously stated, it's just showing off...

...and I KNEW you were out there somewhere MfR!

You just can't keep away can you? (note to self: must try to keep away)

Is there anybody out there? (This would normally be a cue for a Pink Floyd track by the way...)

love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

Hey, EG, I'm on the Bud...however beer and wine fine...wine and beer, well, lets not go there eh? Who do you think I am, Rachel?

Anyhoo, pass one over here...

Cheers, and thanks for such a fun day, although I think the Rounders was a bit of a mistake. Fourth base on that rock was just asking for trouble really...

Anonymous said...

Just occurred to me...isn't the Ptarmigan a member of the Partridge Family?

Anonymous said...

By the way, who or what is 'Keane'? Is it a Foot Ball team? I know so little about Sport you see...

No, no, Whos on 2nd base...Whats on 1st base
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, Susan (don't go wasting an antique malt or anything) have you tried a wee drammettte of Whicksy in with Charis' bedtime milk?

Just a thought if the baby Calpole isn't working.



Right. Time to kick le chat off la chaise and sit DOWN at this thang!

love
h
a
z
e
l
x

Anonymous said...

anyone?

Anonymous said...

Oh don't do this to me...sob!

Am going to curl up on sofa with stick to poke sleepy boy for when he starts dozing off...

I NEED SOME COMPANY...pleeeeese...

Anonymous said...

Hazel - are you still there?

EG

Anonymous said...

yersss

Anonymous said...

Ahaaa - so what ya doing - other than sitting in front of a computer on a Friday night? It's been a good blogging day - what. Not often I get to be on most of the day - but it's so addictive. Still on the bud?

Anonymous said...

Giving the bud a bit of a rest for a little while...keep needing to run to the lav! I have tummy and face ache from all the laughing I've been doing today...

Was gonna watch Ugly Betty (oh purlease...!) but boy has put 'Speed 2' on, conseequently self now in front of computer!

What's your excuse?

Anonymous said...

I just think it is superb the way everyone gets involved with whatever is going on. That's why I said, after the St Valentine's Day Ball, I wasn't gonna organise anything else...everyone has got something different to offer, and it's BRILLIANT that Moose has got this set-up going.

We have got a fantastic circle of friends here, and what's more, I think we all appreciate it too!

I have never had so much fun with people I don't know!

Anonymous said...

Much the same - nothing much on the tely - but can't quite bring myself to go to bed. I always like to make Friday nite last as long as I can - the start of the weekend and all that (although this week it actually started today for me - but old habits and all that).

Never seen Speed 2 in full but it was on a few weeks ago - I watched the start - the biggest load of **** - yet I really like Sanda B.

Really liked House by the Lake.

I've gone from wine to tea - have had my quota of the hard stuff.

Anonymous said...

I think we are up for a relatively early night. He's now switched over to 'The Unit' by the way, but he knows I want to watch Comic Relief does Fame Academy results at 22.35...Will battle that when it comes!

Can't drink tea or coffee after about 6pm. Has an even worse result than the Bud! Widdley widdley widdley woo...

BTW, the how to shower like a woman had me in absolute pieces today. Where does she get them from???

...amd now I have one of my own, and as it is past the watershed...

If a woman is crawling across the floor with sp*rm dripping out of either side of her mouth, what does this tell us?

The floor is level.

Thank you boy!

Anonymous said...

I keep mulling over what this whole blogging thing is about Moose's site is really quite unique I think. I mean I really can't believe I'm so into this. I started on the CE blog maybe last Sept and quite enoyed it - but I love this. To have a group of virtual friends is strange but cool. I get tired of the CE blog now because it's so slow and I don't know how often it has techie probs. Again this here is just so instant. A great group of friends.

Anonymous said...

You better hope Moose is in bed with that one. But it's good - I know someone at work who will really appreciate it.

By the way - have looked at your site a few times - deep. There was one which I was gonna leave a comment on (don't think I did because I decided to go and think about it) 'bout staying at someone's house I think.

By the way, again, tea now gets me the same - last few years has seen me having to get up at some point most nights. B*gger getting older and weaker bladders and all that.

Anonymous said...

Just checked your site again ..... Theory, Theory. I like your writing. Interesting photo too.

Anonymous said...

Same here. I started when I started the contract that I'm on at the mo...CE one used to be much more entertaining and a bit more community spirited, but recently he seems to be trying a bit too hard. Sometimes I have no idea what he is trying to say, and it's as though he's sat there desperate for something profound to say, and ends up talking, not nonsense, but stuff that means nothing if you read it properly.

Over Christmas it was strange how only a few of us were keeping in touch, almost like trying to keep CE alive if you like, and that is what brought on the 'saccharine' sarky comments and the bitchy stuff. Gaby and I had a thing going about sycophants...but ultimately he is the only thing (really) that we have in common!

Obviously we have our sense of humour, and the 'sycophants' (for want of a better word) seem to just rely on CE for their fix.

Has any of this made sense?

Anonymous said...

...and the thing about 'curbing malicious content'...what's that all about?

btw...if the Moose isn't in bed, I'm sure he'll have something to say about that over the weekend...

Anonymous said...

Totally makes sense. I like that on here people will join in but also come in with other stuff if they feel like it ......... and nobody judges anybody for anything they say.

I'm gonna have to go for now - friend on phone and could be a while - have problens typing and speaking at this time of night. Enjoy your programme. Speak again soon.

Anonymous said...

Night, Night.

EG

Anonymous said...

evening lovelies - I would have joined you earlier, but didn't think anyone would be there : (

hi matt

what's the 'curbing malicious stuff' ?- I think I have missed something.

Anonymous said...

night night babe.

Have a great weekend!

Thank you for your company...

xx

love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

Talk about late to the party!

Nearly out of creme de menthe, so will cherry brandy do you?

...re ...malicious content...one of the messages that comes up when you can't post on CE...

This is hazel

Come in Wokingham

This is hazel

Come in Wokingham

Citril said...

Hazel love - did you and the boy nick my hot water bottle, I can't find it anywhere! I know I said you could bunk down here given the trains are on strike, but taking my hot water bottle is a bit of a liberty! And I would try giving the wee monkey (who is jusy sleeping now!) whiskey in her bottle, but I am her bottle, if you get me!

Anonymous said...

hello Chaps
have got home from a great night with friends, husband, child and a huge purple slide, have watched fame academy and felt the need to see what was going on here.
I left the picnic too early this afternoon (mind you i am an innocent country girl, so all those shenanigens clearing up would've been too racy for me)
Anyway..just so you know, i'm off to my mums on Monday stupid o clock to go to my grandmas funeral, then my mum is going into hospital, so i'm staying with her for a few days...therefore i will not have access to computer for a week or so..so thank you my virtual friends, i have relished your company so far, and I hope you don't all forget me!
have a great time and keep the faith!
love caroline x

Anonymous said...

Who's going to organise the next get-to-gether!?

Let's see ... we have :

March 12 - 18 - Brain Awareness Week 2007. A worldwide celebration of the brain that grows more successful every year.

March 14 - No Smoking Day 2007
- an annual awareness day that aims to help those smokers who want to stop by highlighting the help that is available and offering an opportunity to do so.

March 17 - St Patricks Day

March 21 - World Forestry Day - Activities such as the planting of trees and highlighting the urgency to increase the green cover.

March 22 - World Water Day - The decision to celebrate this day has been taken recently as drinking water sources are fast depleting. The world must wake up to the problem and begin conserving it.

March 25 - British Summer Time Begins ( Clocks move forward one hour)

Anonymous said...

I have to say that I too really appreciate the friendship and acceptance that I have found here! I swear I get more support and fun with you guys than with some of my real friends! I think you’re right, EG, it is unique here. I’ve been to chat rooms before and I occasionally use messenger, but this is far more fun! And yet we are serious and supportive when we need to be! When are you going to get a blog, EG, so we can stop by for a nosey every so often!?

I sometimes feel that CLP gets fed up with us - I’m always trying to read between his lines (oo-er!). Where-as everyone here who has a blog is honest, straightforward and real.

Hazel Love, EG, Gaby - hope you are all nicely tucked up in bed! Although methinks Hazel should be in the naughty corner!

Caroline - you know that we’ll be thinking of you over the next few days. I hope the funeral goes well, and that you all enjoy the memories you have of her. And I hope your Mum gets on ok in hospital.

Right …. who has my hot water bottle?!

Moose said...

Morning all,
Darn, I missed a party last night. I have to confess to going AWOL on the sofa rather early with no tea. When I woke up at about 10.30 it was all I could manage to get myself into my pit. The Lemsip was only half drunk when I dropped off with my book in hand. Mrs Moose turned the light off for me at some point and I woke up with my book still n the bed next to me.

Raging throat, pounding head. Not a good feeling for a Saturday...

Sycophants - don't get me started...
Malicious content? Why they can't run an "approved subscriber list" and allow multiple postings from them only I don't know...too simple I guess. PArt of the reason for me having almost given up completely. I seem to remember confessing something else to McCrumble on Thursday - we'll see if he reveals it...