Sunday 11 March 2007

Great Expectations

So, imagine that you are expecting something bad to happen. You spend your day with your mind going over it. You try to steel yourself for it. You try to prepare for it. You ponder over ways around it, avoiding it, confronting it. Eventually you get yourself ready for it. You are resigned. You are prepared.

And then it doesn't happen. The bad thing just doesn't materialize.

You should be ecstatic. You should be grateful, thankful. Even just happy.

But you're not. You resent the pain and torment that you have been through unnecessarily. You feel robbed of the self-righteous reaction that you had been planning and looking forward to.

All of a sudden you have nothing. You are left with nothing to rail against, nothing to vent your frustrations at, nothing to justify your feelings of anger and despondency.

So you implode instead. You are grumpy and moody and those close to you can't understand why you have this reaction to the bad thing not happening. They begin to wonder if you think the bad thing is bad at all or whether you actually think it's a good thing. And the potential positives of being grateful and thankful are completely and utterly lost.

Bummer...it just goes to show that it's expectations that are the killer in anything. Get them wrong and all sorts of wild and wacky things can happen. I'm trying to work out how I get the expectations straight.

89 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh Moose - have you been reading my mind. A member of my team was a bit slilly at work last Thursday - I didn't know coz I was out of the office. And I had a day off on Friday. But someone from work sent me a text late Friday to say my boss was on the war path because of what happened. I then phone person who sent text to ask what happened. Since then I've been preparing myself for converation with my boss tomorrow and then conversation with member of team. I hope it is a letdown compared with what's been going through my mind. Boss will get things out of all proportion no matter what. team member will be mortified. No wonder I get the Sunday night blues!

EG

Anonymous said...

Whilst I miss having a 'proper' job, and working with people, I must admit it is a joy not having such situations to face .... or not in your case, Moose! I really do empathise with you, honey (am I allowed to call you that ... oh, that's next door that ot's frowned upon!). There is nothing worse than knowing that you are going to have to face a conflict situation, planning it all out in your mind, worrying over what might or might not be said, running through different scenarios of the same thing ... and then to have it go *poof* and not happen! Man, that is frustrating!

It is draining emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually, so I can understand why you didn't feel elated that the thing you had dreaded hadn't happened. But why do we always take it out on those who are nearest and dearest to us? And why is it that often they can be the ones that are least understanding of why we are in the mood in the first place?!

And why do workplaces always remind me of the playground? We are supposed to be mature, educated, well adjusted adults, yet it is in the workplace that you see the worst of bullying or cheating or lying or deviousness or ... well, you get the picture!

Moose, I pray that Monday will dawn bright and ful of promise for you and that you will go into work with renewed vision and energy and a whoopee cushion to put on the chair of the person who deserves it! And I also pray that Monday evening at home with Mrs Moose and the Mooslettes is a time of family fun and enjoyment, peace and unity.

EG - I'll be thinking of you as well honey. What a shame you got disturbed over the weekend with this, but I guess forewarned is forearmed. Stay positive, honey, and just remember ... 5pm is coming!!!

Love and huggles, Susan <><

Anonymous said...

Moose and all,

Happy Monday to you all!

I agree with your very last paragraph where you state it is expectations that are the killer in anything. Most expectations are prefixed with “I” and this is undoubtedly the problem as we as human beings are always looking out for number 1. Whether it is I would like, I need, I want, I would have expected or I must have there are times our mind leaves us to believe that the world will stop spinning if I am not satisfied. Where as in reality nothing has changed at least not for another few days after all apart from the three cords what is wrong with the status quo?

My expectations are raised at the moment as I have been offered an interview for the practice manager’s position on Wednesday at 3:15. I spent the weekend thinking of my expectations for the interview and what if they do actually offer me the job? To me it is quite a life changing opportunity but would remove me form my comfort zone.

Later all….

Keith the BigUn
xx

Anonymous said...

Well knock me down with an antler. I suffer from 'expectationitis' LOADS of the time. I know this is something to do with my mum because for some reason I have always let her down - NOT that she'd ever admit it, but I can hear it in her voice. The other day, when I was telling her about my birdie (non) feeder, rather than being pleased (like me) she started telling me all about how birds need water...then I could hear myself, when the boy tells me about something, I expect something more, and blow the wind right out of his sails...hereditary expectation!

Anyway...in a massively long, roundabout way, I know EXACTLY what you mean. I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time feeling let down, and there is no real reason to at all...

Is this anything at all like what you meant? It certainly made me take a step back!

Where to go from here? Think before I speak, but DEFINITELY think before I think...

Phew, wot a scorcher for a Monday morn...and still no birdies!

Going for a lie down
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

...Keith - fab news, my darling! Don't get your expectations too high, before you go, make sure you have answered all the questions they may ask you, have a list of questions to ask them anyway, don't overload them with how 'flexible' you are with time, do make sure they know what a lovely generous and caring person you are...and may I suggest something pale yellow (hankie/tie/socks/pants/stocking(!) to be worn or carried? No idea where that came from by the way!

Do your prep, then you won't need to fret about the interview itself, or while you are there.

EG, hope the 'conversation' goes/went well...

Actually just like to say to insomniac susan s...try living in Brighton, more *poofs* than you can shake a stick at round here! Mind you, if you expect a tidy, well decorated living room or a classic bitchy one-liner, you won't ever get let down!

Anonymous said...

There was a BIRDIE! I scared it by shouting out, but it was THERE!

Yay! One expectation fulfilled! Hoorah for birdies!

Anonymous said...

Good Morning and Happy Monday to all!

Moose - brilliant blog, as always. I know just what you mean, really I do! Please excuse me, but this is a long one!

Last week I was told by the girl I work with that my boss was moaning behind my back that I use the phone too much. I had made two calls - one to a friend to say that husband couldn't give her a lift to a funeral and the second call was to my daughter's school. Two of the shortest phone calls of all time! I then spent the rest of the day and all of last Thursday evening working out in my brain what I was going to say to my boss, when he confronted me. I went through everything from A-Z, what has annoyed me in this office and the fact that everyone else can do what they want, but I make two lousy phone calls and he's mad with me! Well, of course, he has not said a single word to me. All my preparation was for nowt and only resulted in me being exhausted and completely wound up.

I know I am going on a bit, but I would just like to say that a few years ago, one of my relatives had a very serious problem with alcohol. Her husband attended Al-Anon to try and get a handle on what was happening and he showed me some of their literature. One of the most interesting things they had to say (and this applies to everyone, not just alcoholics!!) is that we should not "project" into the future. That it gets us no-where because the future will be, what the future will be! All the planning in the world will not change what is going to actually happen.

I wish I had remembered this last Thursday!

Susan S - I read next door this morning. What utter prats these people are. Please, please stay on CE's blog, because you are just terrific. Also, I know that you intend to adopt a new identity, but believe me, your writing is so distinctive, we'll know it's you!

I'm going now. Honest.

C xx

Moose said...

Just got in to work. And do I feel at all guilty?
No. There are no expectations on me here at the moment...

My back hurts though. The backrest of my drivers seat in the car is broken (for the second time) and it's not easy driving like that.
I think I need some bacon to grease the joints...

Moose said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Good morning, friends! How are we this bright Monday morning?

Big Un, well said, friend! We are, when it comes to it, selfish creatures and naturally assume it is our right to have what we want, need, desire, covet! Albert Einstein said, 'Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.' And I wonder if there is some drgree of truth in that? With regards to the possible new job, best of luck .... do you want to do it? We will all be thinking of you on Wednesday, and nervously awaiting the outcome! Do you want us all to wear something pale yellow!?! :)

Hazel Love - ahhh, but did you put water out for them!? Build it and they will come, springs to mind - the birdies will soon get to know that you have goodies there ... maybe leave a weee trail or something for them!? My Mum has the ability to do that as well, and I try really hard not to do it myself! Why do we become our mothers!? Hope you have a lovely day and lots of feathered visitors!

Charis, 'What you laughing at Mummy?'
'Just something Hazel said'
'Was it very funny, Mummy?'
'Yes, darling!'
'Where , Mummy?'
'Those words there, honey!'
'Read it, Mummy, read it!'
'Go watch Big Cook, Little Cook!!'

My poor Mum has just phoned to say that she had to come home from work as she felt so poorly (told her not to go, and she threw things like, budget, end of financial year, invoices, money to spend, at me!).

My poor pal, Ann (of the Clan MacLeod) has just come home, having cracked because of one woman's constant bullying! It's going to be one of those days. Time to put the kettle on. Who's getting the cakes?

Huggles all round, Susan <><



Monday Monday, can't trust that day,
Monday Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be

Anonymous said...

...methinks the Chicken Noodle is expectating a fight next door.

Hey ho.

Let's play 'Let's Spot the Small Mind?' over here instead shall we.

SusanS, I think you have the right to go first.

Citril said...

Chrissie S - sorry you had such a cr@p time at work. Was your colleague stirring it, do you think? Why do colleagues do this to each other?! It was like the one who texted EG - was that really neccesary to spoil her weekend like that? For nothing? Try not to worry about it, honey - is your boss approachable, that you could say to him/her?

With regards to my incognito next door, you'll probably all guess straight away that it's me ... so there's a challenge for me! At least there is one good thing that has come out of this .... my characters are really starting to become real to me!

Moose - which one of the harem gets to grease your joints?!

Who deleted a comment!?!

Anonymous said...

I'll refrain, methinks, darling! I'm sticking to my guns for a week or so at least!

Tea, coffee?

Citril said...

Tell me why
I don't like Mondays
I want to shoot
The whole day down

The telex machine is kept so clean
and it types to a waiting world.
And Mother feels so shocked
Father's world is rocked
And their thoughts turn to
Their own little girl
Sweet 16 ain't that peachy keen
No it ain't so neat to admit defeat,
They can see no reasons
Cos there are no reasons
What reasons do you need

Moose said...

It was me that deleted - I was too quick on the moose mouse trigger finger and posted the smae comment twice. Nothing sinister.

I have just had reports that a large truck reversed into the tree outside my house. No-one badly injured but there is binocular lens glass everywhere and and few dazed people who can't remember who they are. They are stumbling around the village asking where the moose lives...I think the men in white coats are on their way to round them all up...

Small mind competition? I'm in. I might win something at last!!!

Anonymous said...

There must be something in the air - we're all at it with the expectations and forward palning only to get deflated at the last minute. I went in to work last Wednesday fully expecting GBH in my ear'ole about a particular thing that I had been lumbered with sorting out, against my better judgement, and which had huge potential for going wrong and upsetting people in high places. I was all set for a conversation with my boss that blamed me for everything that had gone wrong and was so fed up at taking the blame again I had my resignation and walking out speech planned. Needless to say everything went OK, no-one got upset and I'm still here. Grumpy but here. And I'm keeping that speech in my back pocket for the next time ...

Mondays - don't you just love 'em? Apparently they're sunnier and warmer than weekends but it looks like Bath isn't conforming to the national average today.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for all of your support ;-)

Something yellow it is then!

Keith the BigUn
x


What gets longer when pulled................
Fits between your boobs..............
Inserts neatly in a hole and works best when
jerked........................

scroll down to find the answer......














A SEAT BELT you pervert!!!......
BUCKLE up :-)))

Is it a little bit early on a Monday for the naughty corner?

Anonymous said...

Is the tree ok?! Glad I left early! I'd have hted for another thermos flask to get smashed!

Annalog - my Mum just asked me if there was something funny going on inthe lunar cycle just now that is making workplaces so screwy just now! Makes me so thankful that I'm at home, bored as I may be with humdrum domestiity day-in, day-out!

Keith - the chair in the naughty corner has a lovely pale yellow cushion on it just for you!

Anonymous said...

Susan S,

Enjoying your singing this morning! I have decided that I DO like Mondays! Poor Monday, everybody hates him/her, so I am going to adopt a different attitude from now on! However, I will always hate Sunday nights (I'm totally with EG on this one). As soon as I hear the tune to the Antiques Roadshow, I just go completely downhill. (Though I always watch the programme!).

Keith - good luck for Wednesday. Your jokes are still up to their usual high standard!

Susan S again, my boss is completely un-approachable. We used to have a terrific boss/secretary relationship but then he started an affair which he knows I know about so in the main he avoids me like the plague! WHY don't I get another job?!

C xx

Citril said...

Chrissie S - Must have been someone else's singing you were hearing as I'm 100% positive you wouldn't enjoy mine! That's probably what scared Hazel's birdies away! As for your boss .... oh, for goodness sake, what age is he?!? Tell him to keep it zipped! Life is way too short ... get a job where someone appreciates you as a worker and a person!

Anonymous said...

Just a quickie cos i have to dash -

Keith - yay for you, fingers crossed!!!

Hazel - my mum called me last week to thank me for the lovely dinner i cooked for her and her husband the night before. I was astonished at her open appreciation for a change, then she said "you are a much better cook these days"
So quickly the wind was sucked from my sails.
Mothers, who'd have em.....

xx

Anonymous said...

It's my sister Ali's 30th birthday today.

If you feel like it, pop over to wish her happy birthday!

http://www.myspace.com/swanlake20

lyndyloo said...

Old Lyndyloo proverb say....

It's waiting for the thump in the face that hurts. Once you get thumped you wonder what all the fuss was about.

All this over analytical sulking is doing nothing for anyone, especially not yourself.

It's easy to say but not easy to do this "living for the moment" stuff but it makes life a whole lot more pleasant...honest :)

Hope everyone is well this Monday and enjoyed the weekend.

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

Anonymous said...

Well thank heavens I didn't depart B&HA last evening, until time for work this morning...and thank you for the tip, dear Moose, there is obviously not room for a Hazel up a tree (diddley diddley) with or without extra ocular devices - sounded as though it was pretty crowded already. I was going to bring a picnic table too for my flask and crabpaste sarnies. What a relief!

I DO hope no-one is too seriously injured? I do hope the tree is not too badly damaged as well. Those old sycamores are so beautiful...! (Have hatched plan 'b' (woo ha ha ha etc) just in case...)

I was hoping (expectationing) to be able to watch the Moose Family Robinson in their natural habitat a la David Attenborough, but on Friday night I dropped a clanger and scared one of the away, so I thought I'd leave it for a while. I wouldn't really want the local papers involved either...after the last time...

As for today, I am expecting to go home around 5. The boy will have slept through his time to put a new parking ticket on his car. I will eat some yoghurt. I will probably have at least another three pints of tea. So far, I don't see myself being let down...

I spy with my little eye, something beginning with C.

Dunk in at 11.45?
love
hazel
xx

ChrissieS, that happened to me, then I got a written warning! Interesting, because it wasn't me who had lied to the Director...Go easy my love!

annalog, apparently Bath won't until tomorrow or Wednesday...some HOT KISSES for you til then! XX

(nothing to do with Rachel at all, just havin' a larf, calm down dear!)

Anonymous said...

oooh and I thought my luck had changed ...

Anonymous said...

Lyndyloo,

I did mean to ask this first thing today - were you mentioned on Terry Wogan this morning? I was sort of half-listening and heard him say "thank you Lyndyloo". There can't be two Lyndyloo's surely?!

C xx

Moose said...

Hazel - Now I AM worried. Your reference to a sycamore is very slightly freaky.

Lyndyloo - Thank you! You are always great for a grounding...I think if I had more to do I would be less introspective. I have a plan on that front and I'm working on it...

Anonymous said...

...heh heh heh heh heh...

Moose said...

Lucky guess then huh?

Anonymous said...

...a matter of deduction my dear Mootseon...I simply asked myself the choice made by the English with which to line avenues...oak tree roots spread too much and would raise the road, cherry blossom is too suburban new town (dahling), a weeping or contorted willow would be far too depressing, and as no one actually knows what an Acacia looks like, the sycamore would appear to be the obvious answer...good to keep you on your hooves though...!

If any of you cares what an Acacia looks like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acacia

Doncha just LURVE wikipedia...xx

Citril said...

'The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.'

Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

If anyone is interested I have posted an account of events last week when McCrumble met Moose

J McC

Citril said...

Hazel ... you're wasted where you are!

lyndyloo said...

"There's only one Lyndyloo!!!"

I know it's not allowed really but can I just say .... loved the legs over the weekend.... especially the ones that beat France!

NC1 yes I know... I'm on my way... dunking as I go :)))))

Moose said...

Thanks for clarifying McCrumble. I did have some vague recollection of lots of Polish girls, but was worried about the path that was taking me down...maybe next time we'll stick to the pubs with English barmaids. What? There aren't any? What, none at all? Oh well...

Now I also understand why Dr Booth keeps e-mailing asking me when I can start. I do hope he doesn't expect me to be a breeding ground for any of his nasty little pet parasites. Except the ones that will make me shed loads of weight very rapidly but with no other side effects. I'll have a bucket full of them. Activia you say? never heard of it. Is it like an Acacia?

Citril said...

Hey ... perhaps we could all be guinea pigs for the weight losing paracites!

Anonymous said...

Off to meet Ali for lunch, then have health visitor coming round! Catch you all later!

Love ya, hug ya, squeeze ya!

Anonymous said...

Moose...I think you have it very very wrong...Dr Booth is McCrumble's MARKETING MANAGER and NOT the Celebrity Parasitologist. If Dr Booth puts anything in your mouth and makes you swallow anything you rather wouldn't, I'd tread very carefully indeed...

Although, having said that, and re-read the McCrumble account, it would appear that Dr Booth is planning to plumb the murky depths too...Moose, are you to be to Dr Booth what Ravel is to McCrumble?

Lawks.

jollygit said...

In a previous employ, the Personnel Manager once said to me as I was leaving at 5pm on a Friday, "oh, by the way, I need to have a chat with you on Monday - about 9.30am OK with you?". When I asked her what it was about she just said "don't worry about it - enjoy your weekend and we'll talk Monday".

I sweated all weekend, barely slept, and desperately tried to think of what I had done wrong. At 9.30am on Monday I knocked on her door and she said "I just wanted to say that so-and-so will be on holiday for two weeks in March and I'd like to know if you can cover for her and do any typing etc that might crop up while she's away - would you mind?"

It's as well that I remembered I was a lady and spat out the words "yes, no problem" before heading for the ladies' loo and screamed!!!!

I vowed there and then that if I was ever responsible for any staff I would never treat them like that, and I never have done since. It was bullying, pure and simple, and her way of trying to be in control. I saw her have an argument with a temp once and I thought she was going to burst - she went all red like a tomato under the grill!!!! The temp won the argument, tee hee ... much to our delight.

We none of us are alone out there in office land!

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

Further to my previous comment, and because I'm bored having done the allocated work at twice the speed of a traffic warden writing a ticket for the boy's car...

A joke. Because I can.

What does it tell you if a man or woman is crawling away from you, with liquid dripping from both sides of their mouth?










































The floor is level.

Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

Quiet day on the blog, eh Mr Moose?

Citril said...

Fancy a cuppa anyone? Has anyone got anything to dunk?

jollygit said...

Keith - good luck for Wednesday my lovely - I'll have everything crossed for you - except my eyes that is - I've never been able to cross 'em .....

jollygit xx

jollygit said...

Citril - the boss bought some new biccies this morning and doesn't realise that I saw him hiding them in his desk. He's just gawn art so if you put 't kettle on, I'll open said biscuits. Hee, hee - he must think I'm daft - I can sniff out a packet of biccies at 100 paces!!!!

Let's all go a-dunking .....

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

Excellent, Jollygit! Tea or coffee?

Moose said...

McCrumble - everything's relative. I think Einstein said that too, didn't he? Although one can get used to wild lunch parties, Valentines Day dances and the like.

I myself am busy running quickly through chapters 1 to 4 of my second draft masterpiece before moving on to a new chapter again.

I have applied boot to arse regarding my forthcoming demise from here this morning...with any luck I will be seeing something in black and white by tomorrow at the latest. I checked my diary this morning. It is fully 8 weeks since the verbal discussion of what was to happen. Time flies...

Anonymous said...

Now, Moose, that begs a question. Are 'time flies' parasites? Do they hang around clocks eating away at the seconds, and would they go for thirds if there was enough left?

Perhaps J McC would be able to proffer a response?

Ps. Dearest J McC, did you ever find anything referring to Miliary Dermatitis?

Anonymous said...

Moose - are the chapters secret this time?

Anonymous said...

Fee fi fo thin,

I smell the crumbs of a biscuit tin...

Tea please.

Anonymous said...

...and who is organising the St Patricks Day Ceilidh please? I've still got the shamrocks after the last one, and my doctor said he wouldn't treat me for it again. I'll need a small pot of E5 and a johnsons cotton bud.

jollygit said...

Susan S aka Citril (I'd forgotten that!!) - definitely tea for me, please. I could do serious damage to a fruit scone (as in gone), with butter & strawberry jam - can you tell I'm back on the healthy eating plan?!!!

Why doesn't an apple look as inviting as a blueberry muffin? Snot fair ..... boo hoo

lyndyloo said...

Afternoon tea with pumpkin & sunflower seeds pine nuts and no biccies (halo is back firmly in position this week)... it's not really as much fun as butter with malt loaf though!

lyndyloo said...

There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they
lived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English,
but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went
home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted.
The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...








What were you thinking? Helloooooooooo, her husband speaks English!!

Anonymous said...

To anonymous with the shamrocks. I have the remnants of a tube of germolene if it would help (left over from the nettle incident on Friday - and yes, thanks for asking :), my bum is getting better!).

Anyone got any jammy dodgers? I really fancy a biscuit.

jollygit said...

Still no sign of CE next door and it's very quiet over there - glad you're all here otherwise I'd think it was something I'd said!!!!

Susan S - I think the bully next door must be in detention over lunch and serve him right!! We'll get him after school if he does it again - I've still got my catapult and I'm not afraid to use it!

jollygit

Anonymous said...

Yay, just when I was thinking that none of my comments today would get posted, along came Chicken Licken. Hoorah for stupid names!

Citril said...

Ok, freshly baked scones out of the oven - cream and jam on the side - strawberry or rhubarb.

Annalog - got some caramel wafers?

We really are going to have to have a healthy day once in a while though, peeps! Lyndyloo is setting us a fine example!

Jollygit - who's for dunking Chicken Noodle and Debs75 heads down the loo?!

Just had the new health visitor round - she was so nice! So now we have a plan for getting Charis to go to bed without me nursing her to sleep! Let's hope I have the staying power!

Huggles, Susan <><

Citril said...

Hazel love, you crack me up! Chicken Licken, indeed! Where has CLP gone today!?

Anonymous said...

I expect CLP's hiding because if he spoke to Chicken Licken he'll know that the sky is going to fall in.

Moose said...

Looks like I'm getting a new car - all because of a broken driver's seat!
PS Don't think it's brand new. I shall have to be more positive about the German cars with the 3 initials now...their bikes are A1, but I've never been a big fan of the cars. I have to go and swap all my crap from one to the other now...

Anonymous said...

have just read CE. Can't be bothered. He's never gonna find what he's looking for at that rate, and given the cr*p that me 'n the boy, and most of you out there too, have been through, it must be lovely to be able to buy and sell houses at the drop of a million here and there just because it made you sneeze.

PURLEEEASE!

Bitter? Me? No. Realistic. Both size fives firmly planted thank you. I've switched it off. Sometimes I just can't be bothered. Ah, well.

love
hazel
x

ps is it me?

Anonymous said...

Hazel,

Loving the poultry theme next door! I vote that when CE makes an appearance today (at some point) that we all comment under chicken-type names!

The thing is, I have had to resist reacting to these idiots because I do agree with Matt that it is just what they want us to do. Oooh, makes me seethe!

C xx

lyndyloo said...

He's turned up next door... on his TV diet (so am I) and selling his pile in the country...already!!! I bet he doesn't have to pack his own boxes!

jollygit said...

Susan S - when my brother & sis-in-law had their first baby they were given a book about getting the baby to sleep. It took three days of gnawing at their own arms but it worked and all four of the children have slept through the night from 2-3 months old and hasn't failed them yet (kids are now 7, 5, 3 and 1). It involved putting the child to sleep and if they cried, go in and comfort them (without putting the light on) after 5 mins, then leaving them to it. If they still cry, go in again after 10 mins, as above, and then after 15 mins and at 15 minute intervals until they've gone off to sleep. This took them 3 days with Sam (now 7) and they did exactly the same with the other 3 - it really worked. Apparently it's not too late with older children either. I know I'm not a mum, and can't imagine just how tiring it is night after night when they won't sleep, and this might not be any help but just thought I'd put in on here - don't mean it to sound preachy in any way either xxxx

Let me know when the cistern's full and I'll be there to hold Chicken Noodle & Debs75 by their ankles!!!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Friends

Sorry for my absence! Work has dominated my life recently, not a nice situation! However, I have just had a nice week away with my sister, very relaxing, walks on the beach, nice food and too much wine :-)

I've missed you all, and although I haven't blogged for a while I did get to lurk on a few occasions. I spent most of yesterday catching up with the blog, what a joy to read your msgs
I laughed and cried :-)

Sorry to those of you who lost friends and family. A very big thank you to Susan for her blog (I to had a good cry) and posting the piccies, it's nice to put a face to the name.

I have read Moose's blog today but not the comments yet.

Moose I can't believe how apt your blog is to my current situation. I have to have some tests done and to say I'm terrified of the outcome is a bit of an understatement but I am trying really hard not to let my mind go into overdrive otherwise I could worry myself sick over something that might be ok! It's not going to be an easy thing to do but I need to get my fighting spirit level up that way I will be in a stronger frame of mind to deal with the outcome rather than a jibbering wreck which would be no help at all should the outcome not be in my favour! Easier said than done I know but I will have a damn good try.

Hope you are all having a good day.

Take care
Love Mary xx

jollygit said...

I can't see today's blog next door - am I going completely mad?!!!

Mary - welcome back and glad you had a lovely time with your sister. Fingers crossed that your tests will prove your fears to be groundless but if you need to let off steam over here, you know you are amongst friends xxxx

jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

I have succumbed to comment, albeit under my own usual pseudonym...it may or may not be published, but I'm feeling very lassez faire about the whole thing. He's like the boy in the playground who never stops irritating me at the moment. Any minute now he'll nick my marbles and call me a crybaby.

Sorry if no one else feels the same, but I expect more, and I'm starting to feel let down!

It's the viscose circle again...and now I have some letters to sort...

ba de ba dum ba diddley diddley doo
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

Mary, Welcome back! Really good to hear from you.

Of course the prospect of your tests will occupy your thoughts, but if you can try to stay positive, it will help. It's so easy for me to say stay positive - this is reality for you, I do understand that.

Sending good thoughts.

C xx

Anonymous said...

...and now I've done it again!

I have been meaning and meaning and meaning all day to say hallo to lyndyloo! Hope you're holding up ok babe xxx

Hi mwk xxx

love
hazel
x

Moose said...

Hazel - watch out for viscose - it'll build up static and you'll get a nasty shock.

Anonymous said...

Jollygit - press F5 and refresh the page! But don't get too excited about it - I've just read it and am feeling a bit like Hazel. Can't be a*sed to be perfectly honest.

jollygit said...

Annalog - ta muchly. I've done the F5 thing and now I'm getting the dreaded Error 404 message but it doesn't sound as if I'm missing much next door - I might visit there again later but then again ....

jollygit x

Moose said...

I know this is going to sound ungrateful and like Andy (or is it Lou, I always forget...) from Little Britain, but...

I don't like it.

The new car. It's not brand new, I think the previous occupant smoked, it's too small, I feel like I'm lying on the floor, my antlers scrape on the ceiling, AND they gave it to me with no fuel in it!

I want that one.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Moose

Too late she cried! I am currently typing this with a pencil clasped in my little finger whilst attached to the wall adjacent to my desk. My hair is definitely upwardly sticking and my stockings are stuck to my eyebrows.

Never mind, it'll wear off in a bit.

...and it's Andy. Andy Pitkin...and he's in a wheelchair. You could have one of those, except you'd have to have the wheel spinners adapted for hoof operation, and the little silver foot rests would need to be re-inforced, but yeah, you could have one of those. Or you could get a granny bike with the plastic hood thingies, with added retractable roof for antler space when the weather is nice.

Y'see Moose. It's today's blog all over.

Y'said you'd be getting a new car. You were expecting a lovely new sweet smelling beautiful brand new car. Now you are let down, because you didn't get it.

Bugger.

Anonymous said...

Hazel and Annalog,

Yes, I see what you mean about CE, but to be entirely fair to him, he has been talking about his new house and the fact that he's ill every time he goes there. I think if he just sold up and hadn't mentioned it, that would have annoyed us even more!

I genuinely don't think the guy is being flippant - he lives in a totally different Universe from the rest of us and there is no way you can have Forty Million Quid (or whatever it is) in the bank and be on the same planet as the "ordinary people".

But I do get your drift!

C xx

P.S. Moose, I don't drive at all now, but I used to drive my previous boss's BMW when he was on holiday, and I ADORED it!

Moose said...

Chrissie/Hazel - my expectations were actually that they'd just fix my seat and I'd keep my car! I don't think that was too unreal was it? And I have to admit to a certain prejudice that BMWs are, how do I say this without offending or being sexist...oh I can't...they are ladies cars.
There I've said it.
If you're a bloke with a BMW then it should be a bike.

Good job the windows are blacked out so no-one can see me. If I turn the bass up to "thumping" then no-one will hear that it's me either...

Anonymous said...

Moose - in my experience (limited, I'll admit) BMWs with blacked out windows and a thumping bass are more often associated with retailers of illicit substances ... not ladies or respectable family persons with fluffy antlers. Have you got a new job already????

lyndyloo said...

Hi Mary- Great to have you back!
HL- I'm doing great thanks for asking.
Moose- shame about having to have a car of "not your choice" can you not opt out and get one that you like?
Jollygit- It works the same with puppies but you have to learn the difference between a "I don't want to be on my own" and a "I want a weewee" whine.
Annalog- sorry to have to ask this but... why would ou use germolene on a nettle rash? Did your girl guide handbook not explain that you have to use dock leaves?

I've decided on steak, mushrooms, salad and baby tomatoes for my dinner.... any bets on how long I can last with the healthy eating fad?

Anonymous said...

Lyndyloo - I found the germolene in my kagoule pocket and decided to give it a try. I really wanted to spare Keith from having to apply dock leaves to the largest part of me! Poor man could have been severely traumatised and rendered incapable of telling any more jokes ...

Can I come to yours for dinner? It sounds better than my pork chops with mash, peas and sweetcorn.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the lovely welcome back!

Lyndyloo can I come to you for dinner, yours sounds yummy, I haven't decided yet what to have!

Annalog hope the germoline does the trick!

Have a good evening all xx

Mary

lyndyloo said...

Anyone wishing to join me for virtual dinner can find me cooking at around 8pm and sitting down to eat by 8.30pm. Dress is to be casual (though I will be sporting my frilly apron) and smoking will be allowed on the veranda afterwards. Thought we could share a bottle of Pinot Noir or Montepulciano d'Abruzzo (other wines are available)... Just turn up and you'll be made welcome.... In fact it sounds pretty much like my unvirtual house!

jollygit said...

Lyndyloo - I was going to have grilled chicken with b/nut squash and cauli but the steak & mushrooms sounds far more appealing. How about I bring a cheesecake which, being virtual, won't do us any harm at all? Hell, I'll even bring some pouring cream as well - it's a Monday after all!!!

If it's casual dress, I'll leave the tiara behind but will be sporting the old pink taffeta stand-by.

It's my weigh-in tomorrow - don't think I've put any weight on, but pretty sure I've not lost any either. I'll have to have a bounce on my mini-trampoline whilst trying to avoid the lampshade overhead - that's the problem with low ceilings!!!!

jollygit xx

Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

got an itch - yes, I responded appropriately. Poor cats. Time flies are not in any of my textbooks, so I guess they might be what are called 'Emerging Infectious Diseases'

Anonymous said...

If you don't mind, I'll give you an update on my first post. Today went better than I thought. The prior warning turned out to be helpful because I'd mapped out different senarios. My boss was better than I expected (clearly he'd had time to reflect) but still very annoyed. I spoke with team member, who as I thought was devastated. But I got her to accept that we just draw a line under it now but she needs to think before she acts in future - she's fine with that. Went back to boss and said he shouldn't hold it aginst her because she is a star and it was one wee slip. He accepted that. VICTORY. I'm now cream-crackered. Where's the vino collapso?

Been doing speed read of blogs - looks like another good day.

Keith - good luck with the interview. Will be thinking poitive thoughts on Wednesday for you.

Dr J McC - look forward to reading your blog later and catching-up with whatever it is that you and Moose have been up to.

Everybody else - hello and big huggles.

Speak soon.

EG

Anonymous said...

Lyndyloo - any scraps left?!

Trying to do our first night of no nursing Charis - having a stressful time and have run out of vino!

Will try to catch up with everyone's thoughts later!

Huggles, Susan <><

Anonymous said...

Weird as things have gotten, I may or may not have posted next door, what do you think?

Anonymous said...

Moose - Susan S invited me, so blame her :-P !!!!

The anticipation is always far worse...Having been in similar situations, just take care that you don't get your bum bitten when you least expect it!!

Also - you get yourself wound up to deal with the 'inevitable' and actually, having all that adrenaline pumping round, with no release isn't much fun...

A well known pop group's song says "your anticipation holds you down" - so true! Been trying to apply those words of wisom to my own life recently - hmmm, will keep you posted!

Hope Monday was better!!!

Hugs and good wishes to you and yours!

S xx.

Moose said...

Welcome Sammie...

Susan - well I know for certain that you are not Bernard Matthews or Michelle FOWLer...

Anonymous said...

Welcome Sammie xx

Keith - All the best for your interview, will keep everything crossed for you xx

Susan just poured you a virtual glass of red xx

Today I popped out at lunchtime and caught a bit of Jeremy's show. They were discussing selfharm and a lady was on telling the story of how her daughter selfharmed, sadly the Mum wasn't aware of the full extent of her daughters selfharm and when she was 18 the daughter commited suicide by hanging herself!

Tonight on the way home from work I got a txt msg from my Nephew saying hello how are you doing, he is 18, and we have a really good relationship. I was just coming up to the point on the motorway where i go straight home or take a slight detour and stop by to see him. My instincts told me to go and see him! He lives with his fiance and her parents, as soon as he saw my car he came out to see me, once we got through the normal how is everyone etc he started to tell me he has been feeling really low lately and has tried to commit suicide by cutting his wrists. There are a lot of things going on his life which are out of his control. I have always had a soft spot for him, his Mum and Dad (my brother) split up and divorced when he was about 3/4 years old. It really saddens me to say my sister in law, whom I don't get on with, was the step mother from hell and made his and my Mum's life very difficult. She tried to stop my Mum having access to him,
and there were some truly awful times for him when he was a little boy. Needless to say my Mum thought the world of him and to keep the peace with my brother quiet often say my nephew without them knowing. His world collapsed when my Mum passed away because he idolised her and still does. We have a really long chat tonight and I was amazed at how much he could remember. This week he had a bust up with his Dad and he spilled everything out to him, but his Dad just said sorry and then carried on as if nothing had happened! It broke my heart to hear how much he was still suffering, thankfully he is getting help and he knows I'm here for him whatever time of day he needs me. I just pray to got he is going to be ok.

I'm so glad I listened to the radio at lunchtime because I was able to use some of the advice they gave, and hopefully he has sought help early enough to get through it.

Mary xx