Tuesday 29 May 2007

Pikeys, pikeys, wherever you go...

Well I must say that they have a better class of pikey in Padstow.

I'd never been before. Despite my numerous trips to Cornwall, we usually zoom past all those "up-country" trendy parts and descend into the real vile extremity. So I was intrigued to see what it was going to be like. I can't help but be somewhat disappointed. I didn't see Rick Stein, I didn't see a statue of Chalky and I DID see lots of pikey Brits. They were the type of pikeys that clearly have money. Now a few years ago this would have ruled them out of the pikey classes altogether but I fear that the mere possession of a few quid isn't sufficient these days to become excluded. The evidence is all around you in Padstow.

The dress 'sense' is similar to downtown Stevenage only with designer labels instead of Primark anonymity. The language is similar to Harlow Town Centre but with a plummy accent. The cars are trashy BWMs and Mercs instead of trashy Fiestas and Subarus. But pikeys they are still.

The crowning moment was a conversation overheard by me between a father (fortysomething, kitted in designer shorts, t-shirt, deck shoes and sunglasses, plus earring) and his early teenage daughter (white lycra leggings with some logo across the butt and a navel exposing crop top with matching logo, highlighted hair and designer shades too) about the pubic nature of eyebrow hair, all in distinctly estuary accents. I recognise these easily having one myself!

Hey, but at least Padstow has Fish n Chip cafe's that give you a plate, knife and fork instead of forcing you and your young kids to struggle with a polystyrene tray and a wooden chip fork, as we had to endure in Wells last week. And that's despite Wells allegedly being the focal point for the Chelsea-on-Sea bit of North Norfolk just as Padstow is the centre of the equivalent movement in Cornwall. I suppose it's all just further evidence for my pikeys wherever you go theory.

Maybe I protest too much. Estuary accent - check. Fat Face clothing - check. Eating in a Fish n Chip cafe - check. Oh no, it must be true. I am a pikey myself. Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!

44 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone!

Hope you are all well...

Moose - I do like a drink, but having grown up in a pub, I know what alcohol does to people, so tend to stay on the 'right' side of my boundaries... I think you're right, the people that are being targetted by such unitary information don't give a toss anyway. My Ex was 'done' for drink driving (not his fault, don't you know, but the police were waiting for him...), anyhoo, his 18 month ban was reduced to 9 as long as he completed a 'drink-drive' course. The theory beind such courses is great - educate people and the re-offending rate will be reduced - CODSWALLOP! If people are stoopid enough to drink drive once, they WILL do it again - hmmmph that was a bit of a rant, wasn't it?

With regard to pikeys - I agree - they have more money these days, but it doesn't stop them from being pikeys - once a pikey - always a pikey!

Righty, having inflicted myself on you all, I shall now retire quietly...

Love and hugs,

S xx.

eg(scotland) said...

Moose - it may seem like I'm from another planet ..... but what's a pikey? This is not a term I'm familiar with.

Evening all.

EG

eg(scotland) said...

Moose - rereading yesterday's blog - so you seem to be saying a pikey is someone you don't know. But in today's you describe yourself as a pikey! I'm confused - I know, I know, nothing new there then. And I've only had one glass of rose tonight.

EG

Anonymous said...

Moose, I hate to say it, but I theenk you may be confusing pikey with chav...Rand ar way pikeys are fake gypsies. Other names include 'didicoys', 'hedge hoppers' and 'the sh*t'.

Tea-leafin tarmackin clothes-stealin car-nickin evil-smellin pitbull-ownin cock-fightin kids-screamin never-workin Pikeys.

...and now I am in a vile mood because I have been thinking about the thieving pikey bitch who stole from us after we gave her a home when her boyfriend (and a very good friend of ours) died...filthy no-moralled whore.

Sorry, but sometimes it's better out than in.

Chavs aren't nice, but they aren't pikeys.

Now in need of hot sweet tea
love
hazel
x

jollygit said...

My understanding of a pikey is the same as HL - a gipsy or didicoy ... a sort of traveller except that they don't seem to travel very far these days once they manage to find a farmer with a bit of spare land on which to set up camp - and a chav is someone who buys cheap knock-off 'designer' clothes from the markets and who wears the obligatory bling in an attempt to look like they've got money! At least, that's what it's like down here in Kent!

An ex of mine lost his driving license for drink-driving (his own fault completely) and his sentence was also reduced to 9 months if he attended a course. The irony of it was that of the 9 sessions he had to attend, three of them were to be held with the police, but no-one turned up from the police! What sort of rehabilitation is that??!!!

Blimey Hazel, I'd have throttled her ....

It seems to have been a long week already, or is it just me? Hey, it's not raining here ... yet!

jollygit

Jo said...

Hazel - get thee outside to smoke lady!! Although your distinction between Pikey and Chav is valid.

It's so hard to find non-chav areas of the world these days, sometimes I wonder whether it would be better to fit in with the chav ways than shun them but then I realise that you can't become a chav, you have to be born a chav and whilst I have my moments, I don't think I have the necessary breeding to enter Chavdom.

We had some pikey kids at our junior school once, they were just passing through but they knew all the good swear words!

:o) Jo

PS - EG, is this clearing it up for you any?

PPS - Hazel, sorry about the theiving pikey no moralled whore.

lyndyloo said...

Pikey-Chav-Scutter? Who cares?
My idea of pikey is on the same lines as HL.
Chav- Same as Jollygit
Scutterbag- anyone with little or no respect for anyone around them or themself.
All of the above- mouth like sewer from the age of 5

Quite frankly if you want to find these people they are all around and if you're trying to find somewhere they're not then I'd look for a big castle with a moat and a drawbridge.

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

ps. HL get me her address and I'll send the boys round... how very dare she!
Jollygit- My scab is being treated and starting to look less nasty x

Anonymous said...

Just had to chip in - my understanding of the pikey/chav definitions are as outlined above. Pikeys describe themselves as travellers but never seem to go anywhere, except when the police move them on from the playing field they have trashed and local people have to pay to clean up all the cr*p (literally) they leave behind.

HL - what a horrible thing for someone to do.

Jollygit - it's p'ing down in Bath, so get your brolly out I fear it's on its way east ...

Anonymous said...

Good Morning,

I'm with EG on the "pikey" thing. We don't use that expression in Scotland, so I am assuming they are called "neds" here. Either way, they are fairly useless creatures (as a rule).

Hazel, your experience was bad and that must have been so disappointing and really hurtful for you both. Not to mention you must have been blazing mad! Still, she'll suffer for it some day, so you can take comfort from that! What goes around ... and all that.

I went to get my train last night and decided to buy an evening paper, so I got my purse out (something I never do because there are so many beggars about) and, true to form, this guy came up to me and "can you give me a pound"? Not "do you have any spare change" or "help the homeless" which is the usual stuff. I was so utterly shocked, I told him to f... off. Straight out, at the top of my voice! I don't DO things like that, ever! But it was instinctive and I just couldn't believe it was my voice. He got such a fright, he moved away immediately, but by this time I was shaking from head to foot. Never again will I take my purse out of my bag in the street!

C xx

Jo said...

Chrissie - I love that your fight reflex overtook your flight one - I bet the bloke was crapping himself too! If I'm going out I always put spare change for important purchases in a pocket so that I don't have to get my purse out. Or just go without.

Knowing my luck I would say something like that to a tramp / beggar and they would start a fight with me and that would be the end of that.

Saying that I used to give B&H aid packages to our local tramp whilst at university - he used to live on special brew and was barred from all the pubs in the street until the World Cup in '98 when one pub landlord let him stand in the doorway and he danced and people cheered and bought him pints - it was ace, and heart warming!! (He was called Eddie)

:o)Jo

Anonymous said...

So, Moose. Can open. Worms everywhere. Just the sort of holiday reading you're after. I knew you'd get fed up with that Jilly Cooper sooner or later.

So, Jo, honey, if you are using phrases like 'I don't think I have the necessary breeding to enter Chavdom.' I DEFINITELY don't think you have the necessary breeding etc etc..!

...and lyndyloo, are you taking your scab out for lunch then on to a show? Or just renting it a couple of nice films and letting it lie on the sofa all day?

I shall be here whenever the pc lets me down, but I think I may have overstepped that mark already. White and one in the Naughty Corner if anybody's making tea...

Tar very much
love
hazel
x

EG, You'll know them if you see them...and they'll have a newer, bigger and MUCH fancier car than you too...

ps jollygit - if I ever catch her, I may well do...and lyndyloo, the boys are no good, thank you anyway, she'd just have s*x with them and give them all diseases. I'm not talking about her anymore else she's gonna turn up like a spot does on the same day as your first date.

Anyhoo, thank you all for your support! Oh! and because I need more things to pee me off today, my main system is crashing on a very regular, streemly irritating basis. Hoorah.

Perhaps there'll be a blerk darn the pub I can buy a new computer from...

jollygit said...

Analog - thanks for the warning !!!

Chrissie - like Jo, I also keep a bit of change in me pocket, just in case. Not a nice thing to happen to you at all - who was more surprised, you or him?!!!!

Hazel Love - sorry you're having such a bad day - perhaps NC1 would be less stressful for you and at least you'd get regular visits from some of us throughout the day! I'm going to make you a cuppa - would you like a biscuit to go with it? Ginger nut or Gary Baldy?

jollygit xxxx

lyndyloo said...

Hazel I've just brewed up so you're welcome to join me in NC1 I have a selection of yummy biccys (just don't tell Rich or he'll be in here like a shot)...

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

Anonymous said...

Jo and Jollygit - I don't want to go on too much (as I always do!) but I just behaved instinctively and I never do that. I always weigh up a situation before I charge in. He was very shocked, it is fair to say!

The only other time I have ever done anything like this was years ago, in the pub, when some guy I used to work with came up to me and "honked" one of my breasts! Obviously he thought it was hilarious but I was outraged and slapped him across the face! I then decided it wasn't hard enough and slapped him again - really whacked him! The pub went silent, just like in the Wild West movies! He was so stunned, he just went back to his mates in utter silence.

You know something? I think I'm a nutter!

C xx

lyndyloo said...

Did anyone hear popmaster this morning? I don't know who the woman was that won but she was sooooo quiet and non-descript. She may well be a lovely woman but on the radio she came over as having the personailty of a wet flip flop!

Has anyone ever gone to see anyone in concert that had no stage presence? I once went to see Beverley Craven, wonderful voice but no presence at all!

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

jollygit said...

Oh Chrissie - you are priceless!!!! Was there tumbleweed as well?

And yes, you are a nutter, but you're in good company!!

jollygit, larfing like a drain .... xx

Anonymous said...

On behalf of wet flip flops everywhere, I feel I must protest! We show a lot more personality than the dry ones - get us wet and we'll squeak and squelch for hours, slide off your feet in order to trip you over in double quick time and flip wet muddy stains up the back of your legs/white jeans/other markable clothing*.

*delete as appropriate

Moose said...

...just goes to show how precise you need to be with language. I must admit I have moved to using pikey as a more general term than it is generally understood. Chav doesn't quite do it for me though on the class of people I observed in Padstow yesterday. But then maybe I'm being too narrow in my chav definition, just as bad as being too broad on pikeys.

I think I shall have to just invent a new word for them. I can think of a few but wouldn't want to repeat them on here and they are already 'taken'...

Still sunny down here. Windy too though and likely to change at any moment.

Anonymous said...

Jo - I did mean to say I loved your wee story about Eddie! He must have had a great time that day!

Sometimes people really are down on their luck and it's no fault of their own. In that case, I really would help all I can.

I just wanted to say I thought you painted a lovely wee picture of that guy.

C xx

Anonymous said...

I would like to protest as to the use of the term "wet flip flop" as the whole world knows that if you wish to refer a person to being a bit "lame" or "limp" then the correct term is "wet lettuce leaf". Please refrain from this insulting language or I will have to report you to the
mis-appropriation of limp terms council.

Yours
A little lollo rosso!

Anonymous said...

Moose, i am assuming, by the very fact you got to eat chips in padstow that you didnt bother getting them from chez stein.... which is the hardest darn chip shop to find in the whole wide world if you ask me... i say this because the last (and only time) i went to the chav central of the southwest, the queue was so long for a box of over priced fish and chips that we ended up taking a trip back out of the town and heading for McDonalds.
Lyndyloo - Heather Small from M People... exactley the same problem. Big voice, no personality.... and not that accurate in the note department when i saw her either.
Jo - love the eddie story.
Chrissie S - blimey, you're well 'ard.

oooh, weather in notts. is actually ok today.... and am working from home...drinking tea. Life is good!

Feeling oddly sentimental today. I hope my blogging friends are all happy. heres a hug for anyone who needs/wants it. [xx]

Dont worry, im sure it wont last long. Will revert to type very quickly.

xx

lyndyloo said...

Weather report from North Warks-

Cold, wet, too wet for flip flops, cold enough to wear a polo neck sweater and jeans!

lyndyloo said...

ps Anna thanks for the hug. I didn't realise I needed one but it was very much appreciated.

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

Anonymous said...

I'm still sniggering about Moose's pubic eyebrow hair. If feeling just a smidge pedantic...one can read that everso slightly wrong...didn't notice it when I saw you though Moose!

I thought the woman on popmaster was dreadful...and more blimmin dreary music all blimmim morning. Is it me, or is Wednesday 'Dreary Music Day'. Thank heaven for Marc Almond or I may be beating myself with a wet flip flop any time soon for a bit of light relief. Allegedly Marc Almond does that too...

ChrissieS - Cracking mate! Go to the top of the class! Did you get the newspaper though?

I'm so pleased that the area wot I live in is relatively safe, but having said that, I never go out with more cash than I need...and am on nodding/smiling terms with the biggershoe man.

anna...thank you. Right back atcha babe! Today for me is marginally better now than it was earlier. Mainly because I have just found out that wot I said was right, and wot my colleague said, wasn't. Small gloat session ensued. Little victories. Will wait for better weather to do lap of honour.

Also, thought had been BP'd twice, but no...

cheese string
love
hazel
x

P.S. On another note entirely, a challenge for you all. I need to know the name of the baby elephant from the Disney cartoon film of the Jungle Book.

jollygit said...

Hazel - I think the baby elephant was called Hathi.

jollygit x

Anonymous said...

Anna, I am feeling really sentimental today too, so I am going to accept your hug, thank you, and I'm sending one back. (All my anger has been spent!)

Interesting about Heather Small - I thought she was fab but a girl used to work with went on and on about how dreadful she was. Then, I heard Heather sing "live" and realised my dear friend was right!

And what about Meg Ryan - did anyone see her being interview by Parky a couple of years ago? My mousepad has more personality than Meggie!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Hazel I think the baby elephant was called Junior (how original!). His dad was Colonel Hathi.

Anonymous said...

HL - jollygit is right, Hathi was the Indian elephant, Winnifred and Junior were wife and baby respectively.

Thank goodness for the t'interweb. Great for procrastination.... as is a knock at the door. Just had a local milkman ask if he can start delivering my milk. Wow, its like the old days! I'm so excited!

xx

jollygit said...

I saw Chris Rea in concert decades ago now, and he had the personality of a pencil ..... a great singer but no personality.

Anna - we're thinking about getting our milk delivered again - how much is it a pint now? Our one luxury is getting a paper delivered on Sat and Sun, which is especially good when it's peeing down and neither of us wants to go out!

jollygit x

Anonymous said...

anna, I hope you didn't open the door in your pyjamas...

Thank you all for the Jungle Book bits. Tinternet tisnt today!

The guys have now gone off foraging so today, it is definitely looking up...and voylah! they have returned, but not just that, (no butter or sugar mind you) they have discovered McVities Butterscotch Chocolate Digestives.

I have to eat ALL my salad otherwise I'm not allowed to have one.

Seenabit
l
h
x

Anonymous said...

it works out at about £1.20 for a 6 pinter, not massively cheaper than the supermarket but better for local economy and delivered to the door.

I long for the day i can have a paper delivered. No point at the moment, wouldnt get time to read it..... tho regularly run out of loo roll. Maybe i should ask for a sun/people/dailymail to be delivered. On second thoughts.

jollygit said...

Yup, loo roll is the best use for them!!

lyndyloo said...

Having stuff delivered is great though I'm a bit of an online shopper myself. Trouble is I'd only need 2 pints a week delivered for my house as I don't do that much milk (apart from in me tea) so it wouldn't be cost effective... I'm thinking that a Saturday/Sunday paper would be cool though. I may be popping ou to the local newsagent forthwith!

lyndyloo said...

Having stuff delivered is great though I'm a bit of an online shopper myself. Trouble is I'd only need 2 pints a week delivered for my house as I don't do that much milk (apart from in me tea) so it wouldn't be cost effective... I'm thinking that a Saturday/Sunday paper would be cool though. I may be popping ou to the local newsagent forthwith!

jollygit said...

Lyndyloo - on a Sat/Sun, if I'm really lucky, 'im indoors will go and make a cup of tea and bring it back upstairs, avec les papers .... it's a very good way to start the weekend (mind you, I can think of another - ahem - NC1 here I come!)

jollygit x

lyndyloo said...

Sounds wonderful! Just need a Mr Lyndyloo to get the tea made now :(

Anonymous said...

Have to agree about music on R2 today but thank god for the oldies on SWITA. As for the wet flip flop (apologies to wet lettuces everywhere) ohmigod she was zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

DD out

It's getting kind of late now!
I wonder if you'll stay now! or will you just politely say goodnight

Anonymous said...

DD, as long as you leave £20 on the dressing table as discussed, I have little or no interest whether you should stay or you should go.

I trust that clears that up.

Regarding the Naughty Corner, the Mousetrap has broken and the last two pages of the Victorian Novelette are missing. It is no fun in here any more. And still no sign of the water cooler.

Honestly.

I should write to my MP.
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

Good day all!

Having a weird week... all my usual distractions are gone and I'm left all to myself... son's on hols with Ex, off work for the week, friend also on hols, daughter indulging me with her presence ona part-time basis... Not really enjoying it - mind you if the sun would shine...

I saw TT twice last year - Beverley Knight was a great support act, but the Sugarbabes were completely useless, no stage presence, dull miming, blah blah blah really.

Pikeys and chavs - they seem to morph into one another - the difference is that chavs go into houses to sleep, while pikeys go in to rob them...

I am awful...

S xx.

Anonymous said...

sammie, that's why we like you!

Anonymous said...

Hazel, £20? things must be cheap in Brighton and Hove these days!

Apologies for the victorian novelette, I'm afraid I broke the spine ( I am a book bender, I confess), and they have probably fallen onto the floor.

I would rite to your Em Pee if I was you!

DD out

Anonymous said...

NEWSFLASH....

The sun appeared for 10 seconds!

The weather's so bad, my cats only nip out to do their 'doings' and then come back in straight away. As a result, they are wound up tighter than a ball of very tightly wound string and are being very, very naughty.

Lily charges around the house, using sofas and dining furniture as springboards and woe betide you if you get in the way - she'll bite you! Yesterday, she hissed at me when I was playing with her (her favourite game, savage mummy's hand).

Pickle wants to fight with Lily at every opportunity, as a result, when Lily is tearing around the house, Pickle is in hot pursuit. This sounds fun, but as Pickle is a bit of a fatty old Bagpuss, she can knock you over if you get in the way.

My home has become a no-go area.

UN are moving in to create a safe zone.

On the plus side, lots of local teens are now so terrified of my cats, they won't come to the house, which was in danger of becoming the local Youth Club, every cloud...

S xx.

P.S. I just don't get Deal or No Deal - is it me?

P.P.S Des is NO Richard Whitely!

Anonymous said...

I don't get deal or no deal either, and I couldn't stick Richard Whitely. He reminded me too much of a sleaze ball that I used to have to work with...

£20 for ten minutes! Not cheap Mr DD but an absolute bargain I'd say...Have you really not been here for THAT long?

*************

I'm a real fan of book-bending. There are few sounds as satisfying as the 'crack' of a new spine going backwards. I sometimes go into Waterstones (other book selling chain stores available) just to have a sneaky session (but that's not for here) and in some shops you can even spill coffee on them! Panettone is a bit pretentious as a general foodstuff, but it leaves excellent crumbs.

There's something you can do to get out of the No Fly Zone Sammie! And you've got about 50mins til they close too...

Do the new Harry Potter for me...

Thank you for your time
x

Anonymous said...

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely s.e.x.y middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.) Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for £20.00 only on one condition..." Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a £20.00 note from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said....













"Clean my house."


Sorry could not resist ;-))

Keith the BigUn
xx