Tuesday 16 October 2007

Who's the only man faster than a Ferrari?

So Brian Habana (South African rugby player for those in need of clarification) is so fast that he races cheetas.

How stupid is this story? I could race a cheetah. And, like Brian Habana, I would lose. Does it really matter by how much?

I'm sure the man himself wouldn't approve of the media coverage, after all, he did it to highlight the endangered status of the cheetah - an admirable cause.

But for the media to make such a big thing of it is a little strange, when he had a 10m headstart and lost "by a whisker". And to describe his speed as superhuman is also quite inaccurate, since he has 'only' clocked an impressive 10.2 seconds over 100m. I can't remember how long ago the world record for 100m was that 'slow'. We even have some British sprinters, probably drug free, that regularly beat that mark.

Fast yes.
Superhuman no.
Faster than a cheetah no.

Maybe we could come up with some other useless comparisons:
I'm so thin, I'm thinner than 50% of all Americans.
I'm so fit I can do an Olympic triathlon faster than the world triathlon champion (in the over 75 age group category).
I'm such a great writer that my writing is much better than the output of a chimpanzee bashing randomly on a typewriter. (I'm reasonably confident it's also better than the output of a human bashing randomly on a typewriter.)
I'm so smart that I'm smarter than most 10 year olds (just a shame I wasn't smart enough to come up with that idea!)

Any other offerings?

PS by the way, Gilles Villeneuve is the answer, according to a sick joke in the 70's when he died in a Formula 1 crash...

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cheetahs can run fast but only over a short distance. This is because what they are chasing, can't. Ergo, Mr Habana (is that not a small beach-side chalet?) could probably run 'faster' than a cheetah over a greater distance...as I'm sure, could you, Moose.

I covered approximately 200m in about three seconds this morning just as the bus was pulling away. My entire journey to work was spend hot and wet...but that's not for here...is this a record?

I'm so superhuman I wear my pants outside my trousers. But again, that's not for here...

Benzeeneez
love
hazel
x

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No. It's just a bird.

Anonymous said...

Our Man in Habana?

Anonymous said...

Hiya,

I really do not like running. It's the black eyes I get every time I try it - most annoying!

I woke up today at 4.30am when my brain clicked into gear and I just could not get back to sleep. Why is everything so worrying and, well, scary, at that time of the morning? All the things I haven't done, all the things I have done (not well) haunt me at that time of day. But when I eventually got up at 7am, and the sky was getting lighter, things didn't seem so bad. Don't know if any this makes sense!

Hope everyone is o.k. Sorry for the wee ramble!

Cxx

Anonymous said...

I've a nasty feeling that if I raced a cheetah I'd not only lose the race but would end up as lunch. I'm built for comfort rather than speed.

Here's hoping Mr Habana has worn himself out with big cat racing and won't be too speedy on Saturday ....

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to put in my two pennys about yesterdays entry - you know we all love you here Moose and I am sorry that you seem to be having a bad time right now. I don't think its a very good idea for us to comment on your problems in detail though. We all put our own slant on your story without really knowing your details. Each relationship is different. It is so easy to put your story into our life without actually knowing your life. Maybe you do things different in the moose house like you doing the shopping but not fixing the car... or maybe mrs.moose does things that I can leave to other people in my house. Maybe there is illness or pressure that we don't know about that affects your life. I just dont think it helps to compare you to annas dad (sorry anna - I hope you don't mind me picking on you) or judge mrsmoose, because the moose life is different. Lots of rambling. I just wanted to say that I hope it all works out for you. Stay strong.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous,

I honestly don't think for one moment that Moose will have taken offence at what was being said yesterday. I hope he will have read the comments, taken out of them what applies to him and how he's feeling and will leave the rest.

Moose, I hope I am correct, but certainly apologise if I over-stepped the mark.

C xx

Anonymous said...

Sorry I didn't mean to pick on anyone in particular even though I mentioned anna (because I was thinking about your story - it was very similar to my own). It was just something that was going round in my head in the middle of the night.

Anonymous said...

We sometimes make the mistake of staying together for the sake of the kids...
The years roll by and the physical relationship which was probably the heart of the matter in the first place ...dies......
Life is too short to hang around!

Anonymous said...

Hooray the sun is shining here today, I can see the hills, there are little fluffy white clouds passing by - it is just luvley! I had forgotten what the sunshine was like after a week of dark, damp miserable weather.

Moose - can't think of a smart comment to make - I am so tall, taller than my children currently? That's a bit naff! But it's the best I can come up with!

Anonymous - looking back to yesterday I don't think anyone made personal comments regarding Moose's dilemma as such. Just tried to put their opinion as requested by Moose to help him resolve said dilemma. If you look most have said discussion is the key and could there be an ulterior reason for this. It is a shame Anna was singled out as she was showing Moose some support and in the process got something very personal to her life experience off her chest. It was in no way critical of Moose's situation.
Maybe I read the comments through rose-tinted specs but this is my own personal opinion. As you are also entitled to yours of course. Nothing like a little friendly debate!

Have a fab afternoon everyone - the sun is shining - yiiippppeeeee!

A x

Anonymous said...

Good afternoon!!!

How's the world's yummiest yummy mummy? (Jo - that's you btw!!!)

I have escaped from an extremely dull office (Only 2 others in today - one of whom has trouble holding conversations with women - he can't look them in they eye, is 30, lives with his mum, etc...) and the other doesn't know when to shut up and has loud opinions on everything, especially things I have NO INTEREST IN WHATSOEVER!!!!

Being the median in that particular mathematical equation did nothing for me, spiritually, physivally, intellectually, or otherwise, so...

HERE I AM!!!!

My son told me Haban can fun as fast as a Cheetah - I told him to read a better class of snoozepaper!!!

Personally, I don't care about Habana - if the big men up front do their job Saturday, we'll be World Champions again! My England rugby shirt is washed and pressed, ready for Saturday night and if we win,. it will be washed and dried in time for me to wear to my son's rugger training on Sunday!

S xx.

P.S. H is phoning twice per day and texting lots too. My ex-hubby to be told me he still loved me on Monday night and Special Friend (No More) had the gall to text me last night. ON top of which, K has sent me the most bizarre e-mail, which either means he's desperately in love with me, or never wants to hear from me again!

P.P.S Who said life was complicated? They dopn't know the HALF of it!!!


:-)

Anonymous said...

Habana may be a comic, but that's not what I meant!!!

Anonymous said...

Bless you anonymous. You sound as though you are worrying about everything as much as everyone else. We all feel safe on here. Which I think is extremely cool. There are some who come and go, some who've been and gone, but I hope any of those who have gone, didn't because they felt they couldn't be themselves. You sound like a really caring person, and I think I like to have you around. If you don't mind me saying so.

Anyhoo, Sammie, I'm more concerned about your physival(sic) and mentval states at the moment.
Like London buses your lot, aren't they? Just get on the one that has the right direction on the front - it may be going somewhere else according to the back, but you won't ever know that! (The only call I'm waiting for is the one to tell me I've been made a widow. Never gonna happen though! No, no, not the badger!)

Where's Jose?

Outside, habana cigar
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

HL - I don't trust what the buses have on the front of them and have to ask the driver!

S xx.

P.S. Presume your bus got a soggy HL to the correct detination this morning????

Anonymous said...

Have just read my London bus annaloggy (heh heh) again and am quite pleased with it. Akshully.

By the way Moose, if they locked enough Mooses in a room with a Golf Ball for long enough, d'ya think they'd write the complete works of Delia?

Anonymous said...

Streamly soggy. And I use that word advisedly. Am just dried out, but the sun is out and leaves are blowing in through my open door, along with the occasional fly. And I'm meeting a couple of old friends (Mr Daniel and Mr Beam) for a drink with a couple of old friends this evening, so all is not too bad in the house of hazel!

Poor Msr Le Badge took 3 1/2 hrs to get to work this morning though due to a bike fire etc on M25. We just hope the others involved are either ok or didn't know about it.

I can cope with a bit of wet I think!

5b
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

D'ya know? I have the bestest friend. She's great - lives about 50 miles form me now (used to be 5) and we still talk every day.

She's just so great - what can I do to show her how much I love her and value our friendship?

S xx.

Anonymous said...

Hon, do whatever it is about her that makes you say such lovely things about her(?)

I know what I mean!
l
h
x

Anonymous said...

Oi. I know I said I was built for comfort but I'm not quite a London bus yet ... ;) But with the chocolatey treats we've been eating today I soon might be!

Did you know they've switched my signal off in Whitehaven?

It's a beautiful afternoon in the west country and I can see a distant white horse gleaming in the sunshine - and no, it's not on a bottle of strong liquor.

Anonymous said...

During the meanwhilst, and turtley apropos of diddley squat, I've made it on to the Beebeeceeb again!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/index.html#a019010

...you know who this is for...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/
magazinemonitor/index.html#a019010

Anonymous said...

Dear set-top box

Given the amount of chocklitty treats you seem to be eating you are shortly to be renamed the set-bottom box. This is not to be confused with a set blancmange.

Thank you for your time.

Anonymous said...

Given the amount of cocoa based nibbles this afternoon my posterior regions may soon resemble a set blancmange. In fact ...

Anonymous said...

Well, well, well! Here I am, checking in very late, all ready with my apologies, and there's naebody here!!

Hope everyone is o.k!

Not a lot to report, just glad it's Thursday and I'll be even happier when it's Friday!

Be back later.

C xx

Anonymous said...

Oooh there is someone else out there. I thought the blancmange buttocks might have been the end for the Moose blog, but you're obviously made of sterner stuff Chrissie!

Sun is shining and its a beautiful autumn day. Why oh why oh why am I sitting behind a desk in a stuffy office doing things that no-one will care about by next week?

Anonymous said...

Analog,

Good to see you! Blancmange buttocks? I have blancmange on top of my blancmange!

I agree, why are we in these ruddy boring jobs which will not amount to a hill of beans, ever? Could have something to do with the pay cheque at the end of the month, I suppose!

C xx

Anonymous said...

I am SOOOOOOOOOO bored.

Rigid I am.

Good job the weather is nice.

Not many things worse than being bored when it's p-ing down outside.

I have blancmange in the shape of a rabbit.

Anonymous said...

Dear boredy mcbored

How about livening up the proceedings with an "I'm borederererer than you" competition? Only snag is my brain's shut down through boredom and I can't think of anything to say ....

Anonymous said...

Dear boredy mcbored and b.rigid o'bored,

You can come here if you want - it is all chaos! I am trying to arrange this blasted office move and am liaising with people about things I don't understand (IT, cabling, BT, more cabling) and I am getting super stressed with it all too!!!! In fact tied up in knots might be more appropriate (especially with all that cabling)!

Bored is definitely not a word in my vocab just now!!! Looney bin is a possibility!

Had a filling this morning as well and now its not "tooth hurty" its "jaw achy" - at least it is quiet because I am only talking when absolute needs be!

Happy thirsty Thursday!

A x

Anonymous said...

If today gets any longer it'll be about 6'4.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOred.

Stiff I am.

AND I'm doing work.

I do, however, have a piece of chocklit chip shortcake left in my drawer. That should relieve at least some of the TEDIUM that is making up today.

Send in the clowns
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

amanda sorry you is feeling poorly teef.

hope you feel better soon
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

Hazel - thank you! It's not too bad if I keep me gob shut and take the tablets!!!!!

A x

Anonymous said...

Hiya Bored Bloggers and wee pet lamb Amanda:

I am having one of those days where there is so much to do, all I have achieved so far is talking to the people I work with, and popping out to M & S Food for baking potatoes and a bottle of their finest Italian plonk! Tomorrow, I am so going to regret wasting today!

I just cannot get into gear - lucky for me the main man boss is in Canada and therefore blissfully unware that I spent an hour this morning talking about Terry Wogan's trousers!

Promise I will be on my best behaviour in the a.m.!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Sorry about your poorly teeth Amanda. It will wear off ...

My colleague B.rigid is struggling (metaphorically not literally although that might liven things up a bit!) with IT blokes, telephone blokes, dead network points and a distinct lack of furniture for a new office that we're supposed to move into next week. Can't see it happening myself. Good luck at your end.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh errrr Analog! We've got all the kit, furniture etc it is just whether I can manage to synchronize everything to happen on the same day! I have until 26th November to get my act together so hopefully it will go smoothly and not with a bang, or even a whimper!

Am off home now to nurse said achy jaw and to take two very excited boys to a friend's birthday party! Oh, joy!

See you all tomorrow!
A x