Friday 27 April 2007

LAST DAY!!!!!!!!

....and nearly time to get the party started.

I'm strangely busy today. I have a list a page long of little things I need to do. I will also be spending a good deal of the party in my new car on school run duty again. So I have to get everything done by 2pm. I've missed this type of stress - the stress of having something to do and a deadline - rather than nothing to do and no particular time I don't need to not do it by. (Pedants: please check how many negatives in this sentence and whether I ended up with a positive or a negative...)

Be assured I am there with you all, I am partying hard. I am just multi-tasking and doing some other necessary things at the same time in case you don't see any physical evidence of me at the party.

12 o'clock - the first can of Red Stripe will emit that satisfying pshhhttt as it opens. Please don't put my rib-eye steak on the BBQ too early, as I do like it medium rare. Just a little salt and pepper and A1 Steak Sauce with it please!

PS Thanks for all the films yesterday. I didn't know I had starred in so many and been the subject of so many more. I am humbled.
PPS House - I reckon it's too early to tell if it's getting boring or it was just an 'off' episode last night. However, I will keep watching, mainly because Cameron is still hot and I love it when she gets feisty...she can crash through a plate glass window with me any time she likes.
PPPS I got a leaving card from the people I share my little part of the office with - very sweet of them. It's strange leaving and not having a team to say goodbye to.
PPPPS Party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

111 comments:

Anonymous said...

Message from the Pedantry: We don't care. We are pissed already.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Moose, I am SO sorry, I was forgetting the all too obvious sexual attraction of some of the cast members.

anyhoo, I just posted next door, and I just got read out on Ken Bruce (my given name, not my nom de ploome) hoorah!

I have some 'Reggae-reggae' sauce

SCUSE ME GOTTA DANCE....

Blimey, that's better.

which I am bringing.

Not long now. Does anyone still need to sign Moose's card. ChrissieS I put you down for £1. Anybody else, I've got the receipt if you need to see it.

Jo said...

Moose - Rib Eye steak - isn't that a bit cannabalistic, munching on a close relative???

And as for drinks - please choose what you want in advance from the list here http://www.cocktail.uk.com/db/viewAllCocktails.asp?type=8

so that we can get all the gredients.

Hazel - congrats on the real life read out on KB, I think you should go on the quizzy thing!

We're stuck with Fart FM in our office but I can tell you that I am on an unbeaten streak for the Time Tunnel (today it was 1985) without looking it up on Wikipedia!

:o) Jo

Anonymous said...

Moose - pedantry - I think as it's a Friday, it doesn't matter and you're on top form - so, yep, that makes it all +ve...

I heard Ken Bruce read that out!

I'll have erm... vodka and diet coke please (caffeine in coke ensures I keep going, longer than certain batteries, whilst being 'diet', I feel less guilty...

Moose - hope I didn't scare you with the Moosebusters film, but I think The Great Moosescape maks up for it all - can just see you with a baseball mitt and ball, in the cool house - is that where Mrs M sent you after your night out in Pikey Hatfield????

S xx.

Anonymous said...

Moose, Enjoy your day! Another busy one! We'll be here waiting for you - I'll organise the Moscow Mules!

Hazel - we can always rely on you to get card - well done, but it's just a litte rude, don't you think?! I have also posted on yesterday's blog re: House.

Right, a wee bit of work to do, but I'll be back once the order from Oddbins arrives!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Here's another rant....

I've just found out that the most useles person on our team is actually... a CONTRACTOR!!!!!! His contract has just been renewed - I am livid - I've just had to take over some of his work, as it was too much for him and he gets paid LOTS more than me.......

GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

What am I doing wrong?

Contracting, here I come...

S xx.

Anonymous said...

Grrrr - he gets £12k per year more than me... And, no, my benefits package isn't THAT good!

S xx.

P.S. Not sure I was supposed to see all the info I saw - oops!

Jo said...

Sammie - go open a can of whoop ass on him!

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness - Jammie Dodger Minis - I had forgotten I had bought them... Everything tastes better in miniature...

Jo - K's not in the circus, although the way his project is going, it should be! That would be sooooooo weird! Well.... ;-)

How's this for weird thinking... I hurt my back this morning. (Think that's why I'm ranting..) Immediately, I blamed my Ex. Now, go along with this for a mo... If he hadn't been such an alcoholic womaniser, we wouldn't have separated and he would have put the bin out/brought it in. As I'm on my own, I have to do it. Therefore...

S xx.

P.S. Put me down for £1

P.P.S - Is it me? Is Ken Bruce improving, as Steve W gets worse???

Moose said...

Sammie - pedant alert - the baseball mitt was in Cool Hand Moose, not The Great Moosescape. Still a very cool Steve McQueen though...must get a motorbike.

Well done Hazel - I am sooooo looking forward to having the radio on while working in my new office!!!


Sammie - golden rule number 473. If you can, teach. If you can't, contract.

But remember that he does have to pay some expenses out of his "gross" that you don't - like more NI. Also, in a time of recession or headcount cuts, he will be the first to go...

And golden rule number 7 is: You don't have to use all the information you have...save some for when you can really benefit from knowing it.

Anonymous said...

Moose, if you buy a property abroad that needs work - can I be your PM?

Spoonful of sugar (Mini Jammie Dodgers) taken, so hopefully, no more ranting!

Do you like my Hula Skirt? I bought it 'specially for the partay..

S xx.

Anonymous said...

Oh< oh oH...what's happened? why won't it go...OMG is it a myspace party crash 2000 raving mooses all trying to crash the party?...try again and DON@T PANIC !!
that's the 5th attempt...will it post 5 times????? 6th, 7th, 8th,9th...now something spooky is going on...H E L P ! blinking heck..sammies got on..Am i banned? it's the blog police all over again

Hey Moose
partay on D U D E!
hazel, i didn't hear the shout out, but is ken bruce on listen again? (I'm more of a the "wright stuff", then "This morning" kinda gal)
Did you see dragons den, when the reggae reggae sauce was on? Funny.
ooer, i've just been to beautician for the lip and eyebrow wax..bit sore, but quick, thank goodness. so i will be glam for the Party!
However, I have a pre arranged lunch with my friend at 12.30..so I'll have to throw the Pints of baileys down my neck with full force for 30 mins before she comes....just hope she doesn't mind having lunch with a google eyed, raving drunk lush.
Love
caroline x

Anonymous said...

Pedants'R'us said ... Actually Moose the baseball mitt and glove were in the The Great Moosecape - in the hands of the Cooler King, Steve MooseQueen. Cool Hand Moose was the other moose with big blue eyes - Paul Newmoose - eating loadsa hard boiled eggs. (I just love men with big blue eyes ... )

Have just upset my boss by telling her I have an interview this afternoon - as it's for an internal post I thought she should hear it from me rather than someone else. Didn't go down well.

Enjoy your partying - would love to join you but have got to stay in full possession of my faculties for a pre-interview test.

Back later.

PS Hazel - what do you mean, nom de plume?? Doesn't everyone use their real names on here ...?

Anonymous said...

A long slow comfortable screw against the wall for me.....Thanks
failing that..one of my favourites is "stoned melons" or creme de menthe frappe......if you throw up, at least it tastes minty!

Please please please can I go in the naughty corner?

Guess who? (in her hen night outfit)

Anonymous said...

Sammie, that hoolee skirt shaw is fa-uhn!

I have an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini that I have stolen off my Barbie. I also have a rather cool towelling hoodie that my mum finished making for me when I was eleven.

Moose, hope you've got your bacon ring pull at the ready. (You have to do the bacon in a Jamaican accent, and it works...)

Cheers and lots of love matey
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
HERES TO YOU MOOSE
Good luck xxxx




Guy Mitchell alert!

Anonymous said...

The last time I asked for a frappe I was removed from the club and told not to ever darken their doors again.

I think it was a frappe.

analog, drink it straight from the fridge mate. Ice is no good at all in Baileys. Or in any drinks for that matter. Who wants their drink watered down?

There is a noise like a hovercraft outside. I think my lift is here.

Anonymous said...

Blimey, it's CAZZA with the baileys hoorah! Sorry Caroline, I was reading everything through my beer glasses...all a bit fuzzy...like Moose's antlers...he he he he he he he he he he he...ooh gawd...analog...just one surely...

Oi mate, slow down, it's not a race!

Anonymous said...

Do you know, you can fade a denim skirt on one side if you hang it in your front window to make it darker in your bedroom because the stupid curtain you put up is so ineffectual?

Have just noticed distinct line...

Ps the naughty corner is in the SAND!

Jo said...

LETS ALL DO THE CONGA
LETS ALL DO THE CONGA
LALALA LA
LALALA LA

Anonymous said...

ooer sand in your naughty bits!

not a race...human race? it blimming IS
and baileys is the pace setter
One day i'll tell you a story about "it's not a race"

off I go, down to the kitchen..yummy carved roasted salmon with peppercorns (pink, no less) avocado and tomato salad, crusty bread
have a good one everyone...may be back after 1.30..dojn't do anything i won't do 9no pressure then)
love
Caroline x

Anonymous said...

Ana - good luck with the internal interview - is that like seeing the Gynaecologist????

Oh dear - too much gin - makes me talk too much - will have to slow down on the Blue Lagoons (soooo '80s).

Oops upside your head, oops upside your head!!!

Can we have party games, pleeeeaaaase??? (drinking ones....)

S xx.

P.S. Agadoo, doo, doo, push pineapple...

lyndyloo said...

Heloooha!

Sorry I'm late, I wsa struggling to get the hammocks put up between the palm trees but no worries it's all done now and there's a vat of rum punch in the boat that I've moored on the jetty down the beach. You'll find the skis on the deck but we'll need to find a speed boat to pull us around before things get too crazy.

Anyone for a conch salad?

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

lyndyloo said...

Moose- are you sure you don't fancy buying a plot in the Bahamas like this one? I mean if you're looking for sun, sea, sand and caribbean party then there's no finer place to be!

Anonymous said...

I think that's enough pushing pineapples for the moment young sam...you can see he isn't enjoying it.

anyhoo...pin the tale on the Moose? Blind Moose's Bluff? Moosemans Knock? That thing with the balloon?

...DAYOH..daaaaaayoh....daylight cumanna wanna gooo hoooooome! Daydebadaydebadaydebadaydebaday hay hay ooooooooooooooooo

I'd like a Harry Belafonte with just a Twist please...and some Galliano (or is that the circus?)

...and a slice of that wonderful looking Jerk Chicken...

Jo, how are you doing? You all right in the shade honey? Don't want you over-eating now do we?

Cazza - is this the new Tesco Roasted Salmon? or not...you're sooooooooooo clever......i love eeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwww...ooops

Anonymous said...

Hello all,

Moose enjoy your own office, I have one with the radio on al day ;-) if I could only get rid of the mail, telephone and emails it would be prefect!

Jillygoeat, happy birthday for Sunday. Xx

A party seems so much fun!!

For those that have been asking I am feeling fine. I have been to the doctors twice this week so that is an improvement and so far I only have two appointments for next week! ;-) I know I keep saying it but there really is people worse off than me so no need to complain.

I have been very busy at work (not for the first time I hear you cry!) so have spent my time lurking and not posting. People hear me laughing out loud… I am sure they think I am mad (mad crazy and not mad angry) you know! I do wish I had more time on my hands…. Maybe one day.

Keith the BigUn
xx

Anonymous said...

Oh shucks - I do like pineapple pushing at partays - pleeeaaase let me do some more!!!

On and do you really think we can get Moose to do a balloon dance???

Suncream anyone???

Right - now for the serious stuff - Margheurita for me please!!!

Moose, please ensure the barman puts salt around the rim...

Hi ho silver lining...

S xx.

Anonymous said...

Well hallo Lyndyloo, good bye heart...sweet Lyndyoo, I'm looking forward to a schnooze in a hammock a bit later...for sure!

Conch Salad, sounds delish...do you have to put it on your ear so you can hear the sea, or blow it to summon the natives?

..and I haven't water-skied for YEARS, and I couldn't do it very well when I did. I have a strange idea that I will be alarmingly good at the virtual kind though.

I hope they have skis suitable for the more cloven-footed amongst us! Or are you steering the boat, Moose?

mmmmmalted milk
love
hazel
x

lyndyloo said...

Hazel I've found a speed boat! Let's get you hooked up and go for a blast through the crystal clear water....yeeeeeeeehhhhaaaaaaaa!!!!
oops was I supposed to make sure you were ready before taking off?

lyndyloo said...

Ok.... coming back to beach to pick up lady in skis and wet suit... now... are you ready?

Anonymous said...

Fabulous!

Foot down darling! Is anyone taking pictures?

Anonymous said...

Hey All

I managed to get here early. I had forgotten until late yesterday that I was out of the office today for a meeting - which very unusually was fairly close to home. So "working from home" this afternoon - nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Actually if I don't do today what I need to do then I'll need to do it over the weekend. So either way it will get done. Am I talking rubbish again?

Slow Down - I want to you the conga.

I've brought vino, Buds, G&Ts etc. Some chip n' dips and some stuff for the bbq.

Can someone put Club Tropicana on pleeeze?

EG

Anonymous said...

You are a great bunch, what a fabulous party you have given Moose xx

Keith - Pleased your doing okay, will keep everything crossed for you Doc's appointments {{{hug}}}

Mary xx

Anonymous said...

Oooh, ooooh, ooooh - can we have

Ricky Martin and Livin la Vida Loca, now - pleeeze.

I'm off, I'm gone, I'm into it .......

Moose said...

I've just managed to squeeze in the fake tan so I could be all orange for the Ricky Martin impersonation...

great party. thanks for coming.

Party on!!!!!

Anonymous said...

come into the mango tree me honey...etc

Moose - you ok? you lovely fuzzy boy...'sonly f'you yerkno...'sall f'yooooooooooooooooooo...we ALL looooooooove yoooooooooooo........

EG! YAY!
KEEEEEEEEF! YAY! XxXxXxXxX just because I can he he he he he he he

...and MARY! YAY! s'getting spesheller and spesherlllerela every minute!

SKIING IS BRILL! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

mmmmlergic to shilli...jerkie chicken small mistake i think...

Anonymous said...

Moose - I'm sure with all gym work you've been doing you'll also fit nicely into the tight fitting white trousers for the RM impersonation.

EG

Anonymous said...

Lyndyloo? A Mr Marley wants to know where to set up please, and have you got an adapter plug?

Anonymous said...

Hazel - you party on, girl! you go!

Anonymous said...

The tide is high - da di da di dee

Anonymous said...

Hey I wanna dance with somebody ..... I wanna feel the heat

Anybody dancin'? - yeah I'm askin'!

Anonymous said...

ooooooh Moose...does Mrs Moose know what a luvverly bottom you have in those nifty jeans...?

I don't think you'd be here if she did eh?

Hooflio Delisias...you can do my vida loca...

Ok ok I'm gone to the naughty corner.

Anonymous said...

Jo - sex on the beach seems .... well, so last year and sooooo tame compared to the cocktail list you've provided!

EG

Anonymous said...

Oh look - there's a

MOOSE LOOSE ABOOT THE HOOSE!

Anonymous said...

Another game .......

WHAT'S THE TIME MISTER MOOSE?

Anonymous said...

Moose - get yer coat - ya've pulled!

Sorry - came over all funny - s'not the cider visor, honest - it'sss the fake tan and white trousers!

eg - you HAD to say it!!!

Speech, Moose, speech!!!

S xx.

P.S. Cracking shot of your bikini flying over your head HL...

Anonymous said...

..... little old wine drinker me.


Pash ra bott-hic-le - pleeeeshe. Ah jist need anither weee drink ti keep me goin' HIC!

Jo said...

HL - nuddy beach is down that way, I appreciate that it was a mistake but all the same - some people may not be quite ready for full frontal!

Lyndyloo - I'm loving Mr MArley's set but there seems to be an awful lot of smoke in the vicinity, and I'm feeling bizarrely hungry despite the through of food I've just eaten, could the two be connected???

I love virtual parties 'cos I can still virtually drink loads of cocktails and virtually smoke loads of fags after my lunch (the major one I miss!).

Anyhoo - anyone up for a limbo dance???

http://www.doe-mbi.ucla.edu/~pettit/pix/pcd2248/limbo_dancer1.48-48.jpg

NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED - IF YOU LOOK AT THIS ONE BELOW PLEASE GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT £200 - there will be no 'throw a double' to get out and Get out of Jail card does not work in this case!

It's amazing what google images shows you


http://carcino.gen.nz/images/index.php/64270597/280aedde

:o) Jo

Anonymous said...

Jo, that is shocking. I think your child is going to grow up particularly well adjusted.

Anyhoo, in honour of Moose, I have made up a cocktail. I used to do this but as I designed this at my desk with no tasting, I am relying on memory...

"The Full Antler"

1 1/2 shots Myer's or Appleton's rum
1 shot honey liqueur
chilled lemonade
brown sugar lump

Hi-ball glass
swizzler

Put the sugar lump in the bottom of the glass. Add the rum, add the liqueur, top up with lemonade to taste, and SWIZZLE!

Cheers Moose!
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

JO - go straight to the naughty corner. I better go too for not heeding the warning and taking a peak. OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hazel - nice cocktail.

Anybody fancy water ski-ing across to the Edinburgh coast. Don't worry about falling off the skis - you'll simply float in the sh*te.

OK, I'm going back to the naughty corner under the coconut tree for turning everyone's stomach - it still wasn't as bad as Jo though.

Anonymous said...

...and Sammie, I wouldn't try that at home lovey, not with your back...

Anonymous said...

what a great party - never too early.

the outfits are stunning - especially the boys'....I think I just spotted somebody's 'tweaks'. Could have been wishful thinking.

wassup with jezza vine - he has been off all week.

I have tried to buy Reggae-Reggae sauce - can't find it anywhere.

pina colada spritzer with a strawberry daiquiri chaser for me please, lady of the bar.

innit

gaby
xx

Moose: it's better to be fined than lose points my friend.

Anonymous said...

You've got to say - at least she'd shaved!

Anonymous said...

GABY! YAY! did you get your 'all-inclusive' bracelet from Hooflio Delicias at the door?

Anonymous said...

Some early pics - 3rd photo is the naughty corner. Hope the link works!

http://www.parties.com/beachs.htm

Anonymous said...

jo - lol!!!!

Gaby

Anonymous said...

HL - I thought he was the desert? non?

Anonymous said...

eg (Scotland) - loving the pic. I am not visible but am being handed my strawberry daiquiri by the (alleged) blond hunk who is displaying his tweaks. He is passing me my drink through the window.

Gaby

ps he has a smile on his face

Anonymous said...

Jo Jo Jo Jo JO!!!

OMG!!!

Gaby - Reggae Reggae sauce at Sainsbury's (other overpriced supermarkets are available) and Jezza's on hols for this week and next.

Partay!!!

S xx.

Anonymous said...

...ALL inclusive, my darling!

Anonymous said...

EG!

My mum's reading this!

Anonymous said...

Moose - love the yellow flippers...

S xx.

Anonymous said...

Moose - I do apologise BUT

Anyone want a Moose fart cocktail -
http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink5446.html

Anonymous said...

Nice one of lyndyloo in the hammock...and doesn't that look like MfR in the top pool...with...could it be...SusanS?

Sun is in the sky o my o my don't wanna be anywhere else!

Must sort out my waxing.

Anonymous said...

Dear Outraged of Hove's Mum - I do apologise for anything what I have said or done at any time past, present or future - or at any other time what is not mentioned in the aforesaid apology.

Yours most sincerely, for ever and ever.

EG

Anonymous said...

Sammie - thank you : )

HL - ah, ALL inclusive

muchas gracias et vino blanco

Gaby
x

Anonymous said...

And another pic (tastefully taken in b&w) - name the bloggers:

http://www.briansdriveintheater.com/beachparty/jodymccrea9.jpg

Jo said...

http://www.drinksmixer.com/search/?q=moose&d=1&p

Some more moose drinks - no warning needed with this one!

Don't tell me that you weren't warned re: the other picture, curiosity killed the cat and all that - the cat however has, as we all know, 9 lives and thus lived happily ever after - knowing things that scaredy cats didn't!

:o) Jo

:o) Jo

Jo said...

Am the blonde in the secong row

Anonymous said...

Ok - trying that link again.

http://www.briansdriveintheater.com/beachparty/jodymccrea9.jpg

Anonymous said...

apparently they're called 'Fins' not flippers.

Anonymous said...

I'm going now for a siesta under the coconut tree. need to sleep off the drink, the food and Jo's pic!

Wake me up before you go go.

Moose - hope you had a great party and a great last day.

Speak soon.

Luv to all.

EG

PS I'd like to say I was the blonde in the pink bikini - but she's too tall, too skinny, too long hair and too, too everything else to look anything like me!

Anonymous said...

I thought we had established they were called 'tweaks' rather than fins or flippers......

tweaks not fins/flippers

.......squash not salsa

Anonymous said...

A normal 50 something, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he said. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts and they sit down on her couch to talk.

After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor in the bathroom cabinet."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?"

She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing.

"You mean...", and he swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes.........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports"

Enjoy the party, sorry can't be there too!

Have a good weekend one and all!

A x

Anonymous said...

I have to go...at least for a while...I have piles, and they won't get done on their own...

AMANDA! YAY!

I know one like that, except it's a babe in a diving suit. blah blah blah suggestive bits etc...then as she starts to unzip her suit, she says

"Would you like to play around?"

and the bloke says














"Don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there!"

Anonymous said...

Amanda - love it!!!

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant.

Frantically she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies "Ma'am, you actually had twins. A boy and a girl. The babies are fine now.

However, they were poorly at birth and had to be christened immediately - your brother came in and named them.

The woman thinks to herself "Oh suffering Jesus no, not me brother! He's a clueless idiot!"

Expecting the worst she asks the doctor "Well, what's my daughter's name?"

"Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother is somewhat relieved.

"Wow, that's a beautiful name. I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise."

Then she asks "What's the boy's name?"



"Denephew" came the reply.

S xx.

Anonymous said...

I think I must have drunk a dodgy can of strawberry daiquiri

Gaby

Anonymous said...

amanda - lol!!!

have just forwarded that to a few peeps who will love that!!

I can't keep up with you guys - each time I leave to do something and then return, there are another 10 posts!!!

loving your work

Anonymous said...

Never on to be left of the jokes says...

The guy’s life had collapsed around him!

His successful yuppie days seemed to be over, all his deals on the stock exchange were going nowhere, he was heavily into debt and subsequently lost his job.

Add to that the break up of his marriage, separation from his kids who he adored, failing health, due to the pressure, leading to a couple of minor heart attacks and the fact that he was only 29 led him to the decision to "Stop the world and Get Off" - or implode.

The guy dropped everything and took off to a remote cabin in the wilds of Canada, miles from anyone, stocked up on the basics - no beer - no TV - just to get away from it all in perfect solitude - to get his mind and body back together again.

After being in isolation for 6 months he was beginning to recover.................

Surprised by a knock on the door he answered it to a stranger.

The lumberjack said "Hi. I'm your neighbor from 50 miles down the track. I knew you were here but decided not to bother you until now as people usually come up here to get away from it all" "Anyway I thought you might like to come to a party I'm throwing - What do you think"?

The guy said: - "Well thanks - it's about time I got back to it again - I'd love to come - thanks very much for the invite"

"The place will be awash with booze will you be able to handle it O.K."?

"Hell yes - just lead me to it - it's been 6 months on the wagon - really looking forward to it"

"What about sex"? "Straight variety or deviant anything goes"?

"Fantastic - can't wait - bloody good of you to offer - Big Party"?

"No - JUST THE TWO OF US"!!!!!


Keith the BigUn
xx

lyndyloo said...

Heeeeeelllllllooooooo! That smoke from Marleys is some good beachy stuff you know.... I remember setting off in my motor boat with Hazel on the back and then next thing I'm doing the limbo on the beach singing oaklahoma! What's that all about?

Can anyone direct me to Florida I've got a boy I need to see in Fort Lauderdale and right now I think I could fly without a plane!

Anonymous said...

Hi Guys

Susan S isn't feeling too great at the moment, she is very touched by how much she is missed (i sent her a msg to tell her everyone is asking after her). She sends her love to you all and asks for your special thoughts and prayers to help her get back to normal blogging next week.......

Mary xx

Anonymous said...

Oh my!!

Just had a very indecent proposal from the guy in the corner - who's he Moose? A gate crasher?

S xx.

Anonymous said...

What a fantastic party and it would seem I have missed most of it!

What is the problem with this office this week? Everyone is in work-mode!!

Keith - great to hear from you - yes I know there are people worse off and all that, but just you complain if you want to!

EG - how wonderful you were able to join the party!

And Mary! I feel so envious!

Amanda/Hazel great joke. Very very funny!

Jo - I just can't get into the link, but by the sounds of things, I really WOULD need an order from Oddbins to survive it! Will try to have a look before "close of business"!

Moose, hope you enjoyed your party - if there is a party to be had - these great people are who you want to be there!

Will check back later, after the clearing up!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Hooray!!! Chocolate fountain's been turned on!!! Jo - take it easy - take it easy!!!!

S xx.

Anonymous said...

Gotta take the hula skirt off now and replace it with a business suit for a while...

Will be back to partay later!

S xx.

Anonymous said...

Can't buhleve I've bin gorn a WHOLE HOUR!

BIG LOVE to SusanS. Please tell her:

Romans 16 - 300 Spartans
After the match, Claudius said "We wuz robbed."

Wow man dude man dude. Like er man dude...how does Mr Marley like his doughnuts?

With jam in

HEEEEEE HEEEEEEEE HEEEEE HEE HEEEE HEEEEEEEEE HEE HEEE HEEEE

Pass the Dutchy of Cornwall on the left hand side...

Anonymous said...

See .... mention there's a party and I com crawling out of the woodwork!

Where's my wine?

Where's my pork pie?

Where's my party hat?

Where's my Moose so I can hug him and squeeze him?

Where's my gorgeous bloggers and blogettes so I can get a group hug?

Been down in the basement ..... but I'm back!! Mwahaha!

Love you guys sooooooooo much!!!

Huggles, Susan <><

"This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this."
Charlie Brown

Anonymous said...

Susan {{{{{{hug}}}}}} just because I can xxxxxx

This is the best place to be when your feeling down, trust me!

Lots of love
Mary xx

Anonymous said...

susan, be warned, fair maiden, we are in the beautiful Bahamian home of the lovely lyndyloo, so you may need a widdle bidda sun cream on your wee nosey!

BIG HUG!

and BIG
love
hazel
x

We've never gone away!

Anonymous said...

Chrissie, I don't know why you would be envious of me?

I did speed read, not the best thing to do with whats been going on today! :o)))) so I might have missed something :o)

Mary xx

Moose said...

Just trying to catch up.

I think I recognise the limbo dancer.

A Moose Fart and one of Hazel's Full Antler's pleasshe barman...

Great party. Don't bother clearing up. Don't spoil the fun.

Just off to T's - anyone want any snacks or anything to soak up some alcohol? Or some more alcohol?

Anonymous said...

Right, I am in the middle of the mail-shot from Hell but had to have a wee peek to see what is happening.

SusanS!!!!!! How utterly fantastic to hear from you! How you have been missed. Just take your time, dip in and out (oo-er) if you please, but we are here for you, no matter what.

Be back soon, the franking machine beckons!

C xx

Moose said...

Susan, so glad you could join us!!!

Roast nuts anyone?

Anonymous said...

Susan {{{{huggle}}}}
Charis {{{{huggle}}}}

Good to see you are back.....

A x

Anonymous said...

Dahlings!

It's been SUCH fun!

hope you enjoyed it Moose! The leaving do of all leaving do's! You'll never have another one like this one...

thank you for your house lyndyloo and I shall see you all next week!

susanS...it's kill or cure y'know...hope you're better soon!

LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE TO EVERYBODY JUST BECAUSE I CAN
love
hazel
x

Anonymous said...

What a party - and I missed it. Have whizzed through the events and have to say it looked like a blinder. Bummer ...

I did, despite my better nature, look at Jo's second link. Now I know why I shouldn't have. SHOCKING!

Time to log off and go home. Hope to be able to join in again next week if work doesn't get in the way. Are we having a May Day celebration? Did someone mention pole dancing? Should I bring my military hardware for a parade?

Anonymous said...

Moose, honey - I'm going to have sooooooo much catching up to do, but just wanted to wish you all the best for leaving and moving on! Sorry I haven't been around for you (or anyone else) ... yes, I know this is where I should come when things get bad, but I'm still learning that one! BTW - I could see you on a motor bike! And I'm also picturing you driving (do you drive them or steer?!) a swell motor boat with your harem in it!

Hazel love - can't believe I missed you on Ken Bruce! Well done lass! Am I too late to sign Moose's card!?

Jo - thanks for your email, honey! Make sure you get the strudiest, lightest pram system you can!

Sammie - thanks for your email, honey - you are in my thoughts and I've still to catch up with what's been happening with you, but you, with my other dear friends, are very much in my thoughts and prayers. And it makes perfect sense to me as to why it's your ex's fault you have a sore back! SW is doing my head in, but I still listen?

ChrissieS - I LOVE Moscow Mules! How have things been? Still up for the next Scottish OAMC?

Caroline - Hope your lunch went well, despite all that Baileys! You up for SOAMC?

Annalog - Hope the interview went well! Oh, and can you sneak me in a crystal glass for my vino? I hate beakers!

Lyndyloo - Hows things with you and the bears, honey? What's conch like? Is it like a big winkle?!

Keith Big Un - Sorry you've been under the weather - hope you are getting support and encouragement with whatever it is, honey.

Jillygoat - Got anything planned for your birthday?

EG - Thanks for your txts! How are you? Do you know what Charis came out with today? Picked up her water and said, 'That's my Bud!' My pal, Ann, of the Clan MacLeod, drinks Bud, but I was so shocked when she came away with that! Then a wee parrot beside her said the same! Big rows all round! Still up for SOAMC near your neck of the woods?

MwK - Thanks for your txts, honey! You are a sweetheart! Hope all is well in your neck of the woods .... there may be tickets for Belladrum, but they are £80 for the whole weekend, and it's camping? What do you think?

Gaby - How's life with you?

Amanda - Where do you find them!? :)

Sorry I wasn't around earlier to take photos!

Huggles, Susan <><

“Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!”

Og Mandino


Darn ... you recognised me despite the brunette wig and red swimsuit! MfR ... they spotted us!

http://www.briansdriveintheater.com/beachparty/jodymccrea9.jpg - that's ChrissieS!!!

Anonymous said...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/citril/472672538/in/set-72157600128907083

or if that doesn't work, paste these two together -

http://www.flickr.com/photos/citril/
472672538/in/set-72157600128907083

And .......

http://www.flickr.com/photos/citril/473908120/

CHEERS, MA DEARS!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

What a FAB party Moose!!!

It's been great - I really enjoyed myself today!

Right, laptop's OFF, have to get ready for a night out, cruising country pubs in sports car. Cinema idea went out of the window with sun!!

Have a FABULOUS weekend all!

S xx.

Susan - GOOD to hear from you xx.

Anonymous said...

Oooohhh - just woken-up. What's this brown stuff - oh I'm in the chocolate fountain - for a second there I thought I was swimming in Edinburgh! (As I work in Edinburgh and pass the offending sewage plant twice daily, I feel that I am justified in taking the ..... you know what out of the situation.

Susan - so good to have you back. Thanks for your text earlier - I couldn't reply as I've no credit left in my phone (I must sound like a teenager!).

I'm sure Chrissie and Mary are also up for another SOAMC. I think Caroline also said she's up for it. Anybody else for Edinburgh in June? Step forward.

Anyone ready for another Moose fart?

EG

Anonymous said...

hey everyone
glad you had a good party..sounds fab! my lunch and subsequent housewifely and childcare duties went well.
Hazel - yes, tesco roasted salmon..that's mine!
gorgegous weather here, and a few gins have been consumed in the sunshine..just a quick hello to you.
Susan s, glad you're back..Yes i am well up for a SOAMC..edinburgh area is fine ( I did comment on your blog today to tell you about the party)
Moose...hope all goes well, will be looking forward to Monday's blog so you can tell us about the new place.

Have a good weekend everyone

Love caroline x

Anonymous said...

evening all,

I fell asleep under the shade of the coconut palm - no fallers, thankfully. I think I may be feeling the after effects of one too many Moose Farts though.

Susan S - so lovely to hear from you and to have you back xx

Gaby
xx

Anonymous said...

Jeez.

Ain't you lot got work to do?

That was some party. And, because of the poopers in our IT Dept, I missed the whole damn thing.

Had a top day in London last weekend. 'Did' Harrods and took in the show with ex-Mrs E.

It was good, but not great. Kris Marshall blew the other two off the stage. He was funny and very sinister. Ms Piper was, well, there and very lovely, but somehow just OK. The whole thing built up and built up and then ended with a whimper.

Met an old friend at The M last night. He's got life well sussed. See CLP's blog for details.

I'll tiptoe away now as I can see that you are all sleeping off the afternoon's excesses.

Have a top weekend.

Much love

MfR

Moose said...

Don't know about you lot but I'm still partying. Just about to crack open another bottle of red.

Funny, but the only thing that felt strange today was finally handing over my swipe card to the HR lady at the front of the building and realising if I ever go back I'll have to sign in as a visitor!

Am very tired after today. Heavy partying and removal of last stress induced adrenaline.

Will retire after a glass (or two).

Thank you all again for the party today. It made the day very enjoyable...

Anonymous said...

Anyone else a little the worse for wear today?

Must have been all that mineral water I was mixing!

S xx.

P.S. Why is iTunes so memory hungry and does anyone know what I can do to improve performance, so that I can have other apps open at the same time?

P.P.S Mattfromrudgewickwhodoessquashnotsalsa... - You were missed at the partay!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah Sammie - I've a bit of a heavy head. Must have been too many virtual Moose farts - couldn't have been the real vino - could it?

EG

Anonymous said...

Moose et al - I've done it! I've finally set up a blog. If you have time please drop by and leave me a message. (That's assuming I manage to work out how to link it to here!)

EG

jollygit said...

Well, you go away for a few days and look what you miss!!!!!

Moose - sounds like the party was brilliant and no more than you deserve. Hope your headache has eased a bit!

Thank you all for the birthday wishes .... I was whisked off to Windsor for the weekend. OK, not the most exotic place (right next door to Slough - what would be?!) but the 4-star with an 8ft wide bed (oo-er) plus pool, jacuzzi etc and fine dining was just peachy. I was spoilt rotten and had a luvverly time.

Saw the Changing of the Guard at Windsor Castle .... when the band marched into the castle I felt all proud and patriotic. Then, at some point during the changing over bit of the ceremony, the band struck up again .... we were expecting something traditional but no, they started playing Glenn Miller's "In the Mood". Very unexpected and made everyone larf! The weather was very, very hot and it was so nice lazing by the river at lunchtime with a cold beer, watching the ducks, swans & world float by. Anyway, I'd recommend it for a weekend away.

Susan S - so sorry you've been poorly but it's lovely to see you back again. You were missed!

Off out in an hour or so and won't be back until much later, so if I don't catch you today, I'll see y'all tomorrow. Thanks again you lovely people.

Love from jollygit xx

Anonymous said...

Hi troops,

Do we all have that "Monday feeling"?! I have never seen the blog so quiet!

Moose, hope your day is going well.

Jollygit, your wee trip away sounds lovely. I hope to get to Windsor some day. Much as I love going abroad on holiday, there is so much to see in Britain, isn't there?

SusanS, hope you are still on the up-and-up and feeling better. It's really difficult to come out of the basement at times -I really do know.

Mary - I noticed your comment asking why I was envious of you - what I was referring to is that on Friday morning both you and EG managed to get to Moose's party early - and that's why I was envious!

I do feel I achieved something over the weekend - I actually washed every single last thing in the laundry basket! You know what I mean, those T-shirts from last year, two scarves that have been in there since Abba were in the charts, that sort of thing! Not very exciting to be sure, but a little achievement!

Hope everyone else is o.k. I have so much work to do, just can't face it - but onward, ever onward!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Right there with you ChrissieS! I too have very little washing...just what got worn over the weekend. I could be in there too...I got worn OUT...Rush home, get showered, changed, rush out for train to see friend for birthday, on best behaviour as her in-laws were there, then off best behaviour after they'd gone, then the boy arrived as he didn't have to work for long on Friday eve, then we couldn't sleep, then we got home about 1130 Sat morning and waited all day for Virgin cable to turn up (which they didn't) so we were shattered yesterday, but made it next door to the pub for lunch, then a friend arrived for the afternoon/evening, I knocked it on the head about 2200 last night, and feel like I've done ten rounds with Tyson today...I'm sure there was more...

...but onward, ever onward...
love
hazel
x

ps glad you had a good birthday jollyigt!

pps hope you're back to 100% fighting weight again susans!

lyndyloo said...

Jollygit- Glad you had a good birthday!
Sammie, Hazel Love- thanks for the comments they're much appreciated!
I've cleaned the beach up after Fridays party and the sand is looking it's old self again. Moose I think you might have left an antler protector in one of the hammocks but don't fret it's safe!

Happy new week everyone!

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-