Friday 28 September 2007

Searching for inspiration

My Writing Group are holding a short story competition and I feel duty bound to enter it. This is probably because the judging for the Bridport Prize is going on at the moment with results in Oct/Nov, so I am fully expecting to feel thoroughly rejected and unloved at that time. Much better to have another competition entry already written and submitted in order to ease the pain.

So I sat down yesterday evening to write. And the not entirely unexpected happened. I closed the window a few hours later with absolutely nothing written. OK so Carol Vorderman was busy in the background finding out about her ancestors, but since I'm not a huge fan of either 'Who do you think you are?' as a concept or of the lady concerned that wasn't too much of a distraction.

While on the subject, whoever decided she was the 'thinking man's crumpet'? I count myself as qualifying on both counts - thinking and man - but she doesn't get into the crumpet category for me. Isn't that very condescending, the thought that just because a man does his thinking between his ears instead of between his legs, that he will automatically find a certain woman attractive? Surely there would (rightly) be an outcry if Sienna Miller was the 'posh actor's crumpet', Jordan the 'poor, brainless man's crumpet', J-Lo the 'black man's crumpet' or Tanni Grey-Thomson the 'disabled bloke's crumpet'. Why is it not the same for thinking men?
And personally, I think Tanni Grey-Thomson is cute...

Back to the subject. I think inspiration has struck but thought I'd run the idea past you lot to see what you think before I start actually writing it.

The concept, not entirely original, is a backwards story.
  • It starts (at the end) with a man celebrating the laws on the DNA database being changed and him finally getting his sample destroyed and his details removed from the database
  • He campaigns to have the law changed
  • He struggles to have his DNA sample destroyed before realising it's hopeless unless the law changes
  • A different guy is convicted of the rape/murder and jailed for life
  • Our 'hero' gives his DNA sample as part of a voluntary town-wide blanket testing for the man who raped and murdered a 16-year-old girl
  • It then ends (at the start) with him raping and murdering the girl

My idea is that the story is essentially a character study...to build up a character that the reader can identify with and feel compassion for in his predicament before destroying all of the suppositions one has made about him - ie that he is innocent. Technically I have to work out how he gets away with it...but that's a minor detail!

I also thought about adding an epilogue which skips back (forward) to the evening of the celebration where the story started (ends) and him watching another girl in exactly the same way I would describe him doing at the beginning of the rape/murder scene.

So what do you think?

14 comments:

lyndyloo said...

Hi Moose

It sounds like it's got legs though the structure needs carefully working through. The way I read it the "hero" has commited rape? I fail to see how he can be innocent? Am I not reading it right?

I just read a Michael Crichton called "Next" which was an interesting take on the "gene" and DNA debate.

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

Anonymous said...

Moose,

I deliberately went through your bullet points one by one, not looking at the next. It is a chilling concept and I think it can work brilliantly. However, as you say, how does he get away with it?! Really, I think it is a very clever idea and I can't wait to read it!

C xx

Anonymous said...

Moose

It sounds like a great idea - but how does he get away with it if they've got his DNA? I can't wait to find out!

Have a great weekend folks. Will try and put in more of an appearance next week ...

Jo said...

Moose - I like the idea, surely the only way he could get away with it is by clerical error?? Perhaps he could switch samples somehow, or change the label on the sample bag very carefully while the police person isn't looking? Or he could be a closet homosexual repressing his true sexualty and could have a store of another mans DNA (are we talking mouth swab here??) in saliva form and somehow take the sample from that?? With the motive being that he wants to be straight and has some serious self loathing issues to deal with? I don't know how DNA works so feel free to laugh and point at me!!

Well - that's enough thinking for the day - off to make pie (apple) and moroccan chicken for tea

:o) Jo

PS... 2 Curries this week already, no sign of any baby movement......May have to resort to sex!!!

Anonymous said...

Ooo Jo: very impressive! I have been trying to come up with some way the guy could disguise his DNA. I hope Moose will split the proceedings with you when this is a movie starring George Clooney!

Ah yes, curries and sex - all tried out by my colleague and his lovely expectant lady. Still no baby. Apparently she had some sort of "membrane sweep" (sorry gentlemen!) today and hopefully this will get things going.

It's the countdown, that's for sure!

C xx

Moose said...

Thanks for the comments.

Lyndyloo - the idea is that the reader will assume he is innocent as they read the story so that the final rape scene is a surprise.

I have a number of ideas, none of them fully thought through, as to how he gets away with it. The main one is that there is other DNA in greater quantities...that he comes up with a reason for the small traces of his, and the person who has the larger amount gets 'fitted up' by lazy policemen who assume they've got the right man. Could be her boyfriend for example.
But I might rethink the mixed up samples or the planting someone else's DNA idea. Another idea is that he is a chimera (I think it's called). There was an episode of House that included one. Effectively its a siamese twin subsumed within the body. Not sure how the mouth swab and the, to be polite, DNA sample left at the murder scene could be different. Also if they are twins, presumably the DNA match would be very close anyway, even if not exact.

I need to keep it as simple as I can - I only have 2,500 words to play with!

Anonymous said...

Ciao bello, Ciao bella
pronto!
having just returned from rainy Milano, I thought i'd share my command of the italian language! Honestly it was only a day. Anyway, well belated congrats moose on the anniversary, me & mr Caroline have also been married 14 years, no scrathing or itching as yet, but of course, George Clooney wouldn't count would he?
Story, sounds like gripping work, but deffo have to find a believeable vehicle for DNA swap - y0u are on the right track. break a leg on Bridport! my fingers are crossed.
Jo..Sex, Sex sex....curries and bumpy rides, massive walks up hills and stairs didn't work for me, raspberry leaf tea? Good luck..by the next time I comment you may be a yummy mummy.
have a super hols hazel... I'm off to Tenerife with mini me and grandma next week..oh the joys!
I'm well hungover today ( mini me is at brownie camp for the weekend) so off for a huge glass of water and a cup of coffee.
arrivaderchi!
Caroline XX

Anonymous said...

Happy Monday one and all!

Caroline - good to see you. It's obviously quite tough for you at the moment - Milan and then Tenerife - but you seem to be coping as best as can be expected! (I'm just jealous of course!)

Jo - how are things moving along? Are you now eating curry for breakfast? We have a result with my colleague - his fiance had a baby boy on Saturday night - 7lbs 12oz! Apparently he is beautiful, absolutely healthy and it's all wonderful. The old "membrane sweep" did the trick and she waited at home until the contractions were at 3min intervals, went into hospital at 4pm, baby born before 8pm! Sounds like a breeze!

Hope everyone is ok today. Be back later.

C xx

lyndyloo said...

Morning peeps!

It's time to update you on 6 point plan progress again and you'll be pleased to know that apart from going a bit mad on Saturday night (friends 50th party) I've managed to keep to it reasonably well and lost another 2lbs this week. So all in all I'm a happy Lyndyloo.

Hope everyone had a good weekend. I'll call by later...

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

Anonymous said...

Just a wee word to Lyndyloo - you are doing so well, you must be quite delighted with yourself!

Well done!

C xx

P.S. I haven't had a single crisp for a fornight. We just won't "go there" on the question of white wine!

Anonymous said...

Afternoon all,

I have not caught up with all of the postings over the last week as I have had too much on my mind. I have however seen all of the hugs and good wishes to my family and my son. Thank you so much for that, you really are a smashing bunch! ;-) xx

The good news is that my son was cleared to return to work on light duties this morning so he is on the mend thank god! His car is still on its roof in the farmer’s field, it can be viewed through the gaping hole in the hedge when driving past in Dorset.

Jo, no baby yet then? No news is good new I guess. What you need is a long hard ……. walk, what else? ;-)

Lyndyloo, great news on the weight loss front. I will let the cat out of the bag one day as to how I am doing, at the moment I am on a roll and do not want to jinx it. Mind I had a lot to lose in the first place!

Keep up the good work everyone. I am hoping to return to normal (what ever that is) later this week when I have caught up with my work a little, or I need a break which ever comes first. :-))

Hugs n stuff

Keith the BigUn
xx

Anonymous said...

Keith,

I was going to say hi to you this morning, but I thought I would leave it until you got in touch - and here you are.

So glad to hear your son has the all-clear, he has been a very, very, lucky boy. So worrying for you and the rest of your family.

Intriguing about your weight loss - you are doing well, so I'll say no more in case I am the jinx!

Try to get a break at some point - even a couple of days makes a big difference.

C xx

lyndyloo said...

Thanks Chrissie & Keith> I've got a long way to go but with the big 40 lurking on the horizon I'm determined that I'll feel fit when I hit it and when I look back at my birthday party photographs I'll be able to think "Didn't I look nice that night. What a great party!"

Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-

Anonymous said...

Hello!

Sorry for absence, but working from home has been canned for the time being and well, you all know about the poxy server, which has now even decided to prevent me from contributing to CE's blog! Damn outrage!

Hope you;re all well - haven't even had chance to catch up on here yet, but will do so soon.

Q for the day - if you could murder your boss, how would you do it?

Peace and love all,

S xx.