Monday 26 November 2007

New ambition

I've discovered, through the reporting of this year's nominations on the BBC website, the 'bad sex' award in literature and have decided it's something I want to win. Well they do say that any publicity is good publicity. And it's good to have an ambition.

The only trouble is, I can't decide whether I need to rewrite my one and only scene that might qualify, even though it is extremely implicit in nature. How can you spot how bad your own sex scenes are? Did the authors on the list set out to win the prize too and surrepticiously slipped a bad sex scene into an otherwise good book? Do they have other sex scenes that are better written and the nominations are only for the anomalous scenes within otherwise excellent carnal descriptions?

It's all just such a minefield...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Morning all,

Moose is this award conducted by women? As a male I can honestly say that there is no such thing as “bad sex” I am grateful of any sex I can get! ;-)))

As for re writing your book, why would you if you are happy with it just the way it is. Why not make a special effort and pen a truly awful book containing lost of “Bad sex” in it just so that the ladies have something to complain about and your get the publicity in the literary world for as you say there is no such thing as bad publicity (unless your name is Gerald Ratner of course). ;-))

Keep smiling

Keith the NotSoBigUn

P.S.

A woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight.

Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18-year-old."

The husband replies, "What did he say about your 42-year old arse?"

"Your name never came up," she replied.

Anonymous said...

Keith, hear hear on the grateful for any!

DD out

PS Girlfriend and her new man, arrive home after a date and strip off ready to the deed for the first time. Once naked, woman looks down and in a disappointed manner asks "Who do you expect to please with that?" Man looks down at his inch and a half of dangling flesh and says "Me!"
Nuff said!!!

Anonymous said...

Where have all the girlies gone? Am I alone here with the boys?

Moose, Alan Titchmarsh won the bad sex award for his first book - he was quite put out as he thought it was quite good at the time! (Having read the book, the award was justified ...)

Keith, I love your PS! I have a 52 year old a*se at home (only joking - he's lovely really!).

Anonymous said...

Analog, it's very noticeable that mooseblog traffic reduces when La Love is absent. Get well soon Hazel, come back, we've had lots of deliveries for the cooler in NC1 in your absence! Someone had to drink this wierd concoction!

DD out!